Why do many men stop being romantic in a relationships?

Question

BluesheepOwl · Accepted Answer

I've never met a guy who stopped trying. I feel like that's more of a girl thing now than a guy thing. Unless you are getting with those obvious douche bags who don't know what they want so they lose interest easily. I feel like more girls question if the guy they are with is worthy of them more than a guy. I can see the girl pulling back and not giving much affection as she used to especially if she finds someone better. That's just my perspective though.

LuWe22 · Accepted Answer

The honeymoon phase is over. Now beginns the real work of a relationship

taleswapper · Accepted Answer

Because guys do one thing at a time. To us, romance is for getting from "you and me" to "us". Once we're there, guys focus on externalities, like earning enough to support you, and making sure you have a safe place to nest. For us the role changes from pursuer to provider/protector.

SpearsAndStones · Accepted Answer

Because they were never romantic to start. They just do things to get you to validate them, until they stop valuing your validation.

serious · Answer

Well, some of the good reasons are as follows:

1. It is possible that the woman has done something wrong but not an unforgivable mistake because if they mistake is unforgivable then the man would break up instead of being with her. Hence it is possible that the woman has certain flaws that the man cannot accept or say some flaws are such that repels him and hence the man just don't just doesn't want to show his romantic side to the woman anymore but still has enough respect to treat her normally and to stay in the relationship.

2. The man just doesn't think she is attractive anymore. I mean yes physically speaking. Yes, I know what I am saying might sound like a shallow thinking but it is not. Physical looks and attractiveness are very important. It is equally important as much as having an attractive personality is concerned.

For me example if the woman used to take good care of her health and physique when she was single but in a relationship she just stops doing that and she puts on weight and goes out of shape, starts eating all sorts of high calorie foods makes the woman think that she is taking the man for granted and hence the man just doesn't find her appealing and attractive anymore.

Once a man doesn't find a woman physically attractive, believe it or they will stop showing their romantic side.

3. It is possible that the man himself by nature was never a romantic kind of person but he was trying to be romantic like he was forcing himself to be romantic to make the woman happy but it didn't work and he messed it up and hence the man stops trying to be romantic because by nature he was never a romantic person.

4. It is possible that you never reciprocated his romance either due to the woman being shy or not liking the way they guy showed his romance that is the guy never got any good feedback or any appreciation for his efforts and hence he has now stopped being romantic.

5. The woman has also stopped being romantic and so naturally the man also stopped being romantic towards the woman.

Yes these are some of the good reasons I can think off.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Because its exhausting and quite honestly, women make it difficult to continue in many (not all) cases. The fact is "romance" is him going out of his way for you, over and over and over again. He asks you out, he sets up dates, he pays for dates, he buys you flowers, he buys you jewelry, he tells you your the greatest thing in the world etc. etc. etc. After awhile that gets exhausting ESPECIALLY when she is not going out of her way for him. Is she cooking him dinner? No, is she going above and beyond for him? Not really, no. So after awhile you just have a hard time maintaining that level of dedication. Then you have the issue that women want guys to shower them with gifts and take them out all of which takes money. That means he has to focus more on work to make that money which of course means less time for you. Women then get upset with the guy because he is "distant" i. e. he is focused on making money because she demands it of him (either through the usual "I want an "ambitious"(read: wealthy) man." or the, as mentioned, dinners and dates and flowers etc all of which increase his spending and require more money (he can easily double his spending amount by simply having a girlfriend (and this is just the every day, not even going above and beyond)). Then you have the fact that if your spending all this time with the woman, your not spending time for yourself. Your neglecting your own needs and wants for her and while their is nothing wrong with doing this occasionally after awhile it burns you out (people need to find a balance between the two). So these are some reasons (but I'm sure not all of them) why guys stop being as romantic once in a relationship..

Pinay_ako · Answer

They don't stop. There are other things more or as important than romance in the relationship. They just have a lot on their plate and romance takes a backseat... It takes two to tango. So if the woman ever feels her man is not putting effort in the romance, then she should step it up. It's all about compromise and communication.

Journeyman11 · Answer

Why are women NEVER romantic? I mean, what do you ever DO that is romantic?
What do girls ever do to show affection these days, other than "giving" sex (I know that's how you like to think about it) and physical contact?

When a guy stops trying, it's because he's tired of putting in more than you.

ryryryan · Answer

Cuz u already won over her heart. When u get the princess in Mario the game is over u can stop trying cuz u made it to the end... U start thinking about other games... Occasionally u go back to Mario but u kno that game backwards and forwards... So if u want a guy to be constantly romantic u have to be consistently interesting and hot and romantic too.. It sounds offensive to some people but it's simple psychology u would never play the same Mario game ur whole life but if Mario 64 is available and smash brother comes out... U could be a gamer for life and never quench ur desire for it we are all sexually driven creatures. Romance? That's mostly a concept washed with Disney movies and notoriously dumb pop culture... I personally find it romantic when a couple stops being romantic, yet loves each other even more.
What is romance tho?

Anonymous · Answer

Because it’s not something that comes to us naturally. For youbits usualky easy because you’ve been allowed to express all your feelings as a female growing up. For men a lot of us have been programmed to negate our feelings. So we may have an idea of what fedlings are but not to the extent that women do. We know that in order to attract a female into a relationship we have to show those feelings, which can sometimes be hard. Again it isn’t natural to us. We may loose interest as well, not only that the reality of life brings us back to earth.

LegendarySir · Answer

We don't. We just start being the type of romantic that we like.
Before the relationship, or at the beginning, romance is used to get/keep the girl. It does nothing for us personally. Women get to enjoy nice free dinners, flowers, chocolate... what do men get? Nothing. Women don't do romantic stuff because they're not the ones chasing.

In a relationship you already have her, so you tone it down in the romantic aspect. Do you know how expensive it is to be romantic? Or how exhausting it can get? Lol
In a relationship we try to even the playground and think in ourselves more than before, because we also like to be pampered sometimes.

It's not that we don't like her anymore, or we're not trying, but we enjoy other type of romance, one that includes us too.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Because a lot women got so comfortable being treated like queens every time that when we take a break, "He's not taking care of me properly anymore" then posts it on social media demonizing men because society gives women pats on the back every time. It's only chivalry if they like it but sexist if they don't. You have every reason to stop being romantic that we deserve it. No body believes in a guy's story in relationship.

v851234 · Answer

Because they aren't romantic and just pretended to be so, so that you would give out with them? All women say they want a romantic man, some don't actually, and some men suggest they are romantic to catch the wider net of women, and half the time they find it's not required in the relationship, so they don't bother.

ManOnFire · Answer

I would have to 100% agree with @Journeyman11, yeah. Which was my similar thought. So much of relationship life seems to revolve around doing things for the woman and how so many women selfishly see relationships about just her worth and status in it. How does a guy NOT get bored with romance after awhile? When it's all about being romantic for the woman, why should a guy really care anymore?

SjE78 · Answer

those who do probably feel like they are doing the work and their partner's aren't bothering to return the favour...
or sometimes when guys even girls/women make all the effort and feel unappreciated they stop trying
it is that time when they need to be shown that they are appreciated and every thing they did before is wanted...
otherwise a talk is in order which would most likely result in bye bye

Metallsturm · Answer

It's a female thing, actually.

A human gets used to good stuff quickly, therefore loses an ability to fully appreciate something as she takes it for granted.
A man, noticing a change where a woman isn't as excited anymore about man's attempts to provide her with romance, gives up trying.

Anonymous · Answer

HAHAHA that is cause you expect stuff when women get boring so fast and settle in. You want but you don't give us the attention you used to.

A word from us would bring a blush to a girls cheeks. Now in the relationship you expect it and never give a reaction much less a thanks.

Nik1hil · Answer

Because the customers satisfaction rate rate reduces
After consumption of same product over and over again..
If you studied DEMAND ESTIMATION..
In businesses school it perfectly applies here..
If he is not get satisfaction like before..
He will not be compelled to invest same amount and devotion and time into the same scenario..
Hence.. He becomes less romantic with time..

wingattebaby16 · Answer

In my experience, most men use romance to "get" the girl.

Once you are girlfriend material or wife, romance over time dies off. They no longer have to "work at it" to keep you.

This is so wrong though... Romance is an ongoing journey.

ANK360 · Answer

I M A 007 material , so i keep that account clean and open whenever needed , but yea not everytime , specially if you work and then you hit the gym as well you have limited time to but yea when you do get her brains out !! benefit - she won't cheat or leave

Lance1965 · Answer

Some women want the honeymoon period of a realtionship to last forever. Once that fades the guy will get the blame for it no matter what the woman did or didn't do in the realtionship. When it comes to romance it is almost always one person putting in most of the effort and it is usually expected that it is the mans job. When romance fades it is rarely considered the woman's fault. It is just another unrealistic expectation that so many women have.

EclipseoftheHeart · Answer

Because it's the thrill of the hunt and catch that get's their blood up. After they have caught their prey and eaten they tend to be pussy cats. After they have caught what they wanted they don't try that hard anymore.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope not for me and my partner. 9 amazing years and he is still the most romantic man I know! He would come from work and tell me how beautiful I am and how lucky he is. Truthfully I always feel like I am the lucky one to win his heart when there are other women dream to have someone like him.

Anonymous · Answer

Because the women never put any effort into being romantic so why should the guy? Seriously women say they are romantics yet they seem to do way less for their man than their man does for them, so basically they just like to get spoiled while giving nothing in return

Anonymous · Answer

Why do you want them to be fucking romantic? Why can't you be romantic if you like it so much? Why don't you kick him out if you're being romantic and he isn't reciprocating being the asshole he is & search another asshole who is romantic as per your wishes?

Anonymous · Answer

After we moved in together and had kids my mind is mainly on providing and surviving, not romance. It also doesn't help when she talks to me like she is my mom, and makes me feel guilty for enjoying anything without her.

Nivinxus · Answer

They get content with their relationships. Happens sometimes, happens that I do it sometimes. I learned that relationship is a constant battle (figuratively) in that we have to keep proving to each other why we are in this relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Because it was to court you. Once you're in a relationship, they're going to just relax and enjoy the relationship. That was always the point -- the relationship -- and it's weird that trying to simply embrace that and enjoy the comfort of the relationship is any kind of problem.

Gopnik · Answer

i'm not very romantic by nature but i do think from time to time it has to be there.
but who am i to say that, i'm lonely and that will most likely stay that way for the foreseeable future no matter how much or hard i try.

Anonymous · Answer

We don't think the same way you women do. So sometimes you might have to reminds us that once in a while, you'd like...

Or, do something romantic for him (the two of you). Doesn't always have to be him doing it.

ChiPaPa · Answer

We show how we care by doing things, not making gestures of romance.

BeMuse · Answer

If you want it you have to dish it out as well... Usually you lose it when you feel entitled to it and selfishly want it to be one sided.

UglyestGuyEver · Answer

Sounds like a lot of girls too... I'm not a guy who is like this tho... I continue to love even if the girl isn't that special to me... Maybe it's just because I'm an ugly desperate virgin and other guys know they don't have to try

NeglectedChild · Answer

You don't just water your plants once and expect them to flourish. If you don't keep watering them they'll die. It's the same with relationships.

ritxi · Answer

I don't think we "stop" being romantic. I think that we get more involved in the relationship and we need to do much more things to make our partner happier and romance goes to background.

Ripper_E · Answer

Same reason why women do Both forget to keep dating each other. To go out and have fun, to make each other feel like only the other matters, to take their breath away.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Usually, because women stop trying as well. I know plenty of women that stop trying in relationships. Especially in marriage. They get comfortable, lazy, and lackadaisical. So usually if she stops, he’ll stop.

Bananaman177 · Answer

Why do women want to hear the same thing over and over again as if saying it a thousand times a day makes it a thousand times more true?

Raven_76 · Answer

Maybe because Guys don't owe Girls anything and y'all just cheat no matter how good we are to you so we just give up.

ultimega · Answer

Because once they think have you, they feel like they don't have to try anymore.  I get it that not all guys are romantic by nature, but its just nice to know they care sometimes

winterfox10 · Answer

It's because there comes a point where we start wanting the girl to contribute to the romance as well. That wooing that we do in the beginning takes money and energy, a LOT of it.

Straight_Shooter · Answer

I think it's because they get comfortable in their relationship and don't feel the need to impress her anymore to maintain her interest. It's sad, but I think this happens in a majority of relationships.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s probably more of a girl thing then it is a guy thing. I think guys don’t need to keep reminding us that they care about us once in a relationship.

spartan55 · Answer

It's not like girls are romantic by default, so I would say this cuts both ways.

GreyEyedGuy12 · Answer

Romantic men don’t stop being romantic.  However, actors and pretenders cease  acting and pretending once they’ve  reached their objective.

Anonymous · Answer

Because you probably take it for granted and not reciprocate anything back. Many women apparently don't know anything about giving in a relationship they just only know how to receive.

Golden-Thread · Answer

Because they need an excuse to show their parents that their lovers is a bad person. So they can't marry them. As a parents lover they need to show them a good cause.

Anonymous · Answer

Because it seems like women do nothing romantic for men.

Anonymous · Answer

Why should we why do the men always have to intitiate romance can't the women do it or are you all to good for that

BigJake · Answer

Because that phase is over. Romance is for people who just met. You don't keep chasing a client after you've already got the account.

Nuremberg45 · Answer

Sometimes we just get complacent, it happens but you got to find new ways to spice things up every once in a while

AynonOMouse · Answer

Because the girl doesn't try either and almost never tries to be romantic for him so he starts to thiink she doesn't care and he stops trying too.

TohhhruAi · Answer

I’ve seen both sexes stop doing things for each other when they get “comfortable “ in a relationship yet for some reason it’s always guys who get called out for it

Dchrls78104 · Answer

You stop running as hard when you know you've already won the race.

mike5150 · Answer

More comfortable with different situations so they feel they don't have to always try

kira992 · Answer

My man is still romantic lol I’m lucky. But most often they’re lazy.

Anonymous · Answer

Because it’s a pain in the ass to be romantic to begin with. We got to be careful to show interest vs looking too needy. Most of us do not enjoy it. Many of us have gotten friendzoned by acting too “romantic”.

beefyburrito32 · Answer

Usually because she doesn't make any effort, so we see it as a sign to leave.

Partywithtom · Answer

They feel they "have" you so they like they look at it think your just cool with it cause you're married.

Rawkstar26 · Answer

I'm always romantic with my girlfriends, I don't understand why other men stop.

Anonymous · Answer

Guys pay attention to how much romantic effort women put in and they start mirroring the girl after awhile.

outside_Toronto · Answer

Usually because of complacency and both people's lack of gratitude

HereIbe · Answer

Because they know that they were bullshitting from the beginning.

Demetra89 · Answer

Probably cause they think the work done you can worry about that.

Why do many men stop being romantic in a relationships?

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