How can I get over leaving my Apt. of 8 years. All my memories of my boyfriend that died are there. Even his fingerprints are on the glass door?

[sage2021]

My apartment became unsafe last month when it rained so hard the roof leaked and the ceiling fell down on my stuff.
So I have been staying with a close male friend since February.

The movers moved all my stuff to another apartment and we spent $500 to have a company clean everything and organize it for me.

I haven't even been over there at all. All of my memories of me and Patrick falling in love, singing and dancing, making love, having coffee every morning together, all the jokes we told are all in my old apartment.
I can't seem to bring myself to even go to this new apartment which has no memories in it. So, I just keep staying at my friend's apartment which is exactly across the hall to the apartment Patrick died in. I'm just a few apartments down from my friends place.
Something just won't let me want to go in my new apartment.
How can I ever get over this?

[exitseven]

I had to sell my mother's house after she died. I had to go back with the fire chief to check the smoke detectors before the sale. The house was empty and seemed so small. This was the place I grew up in and it just seemed like the soul had been excised. I get what you are going through. Like anything else you will get through this. Your living situation was untenable. Maybe figure out a good souvenir to take with you that will remind you of the time you spent there.

[sage2021]

@exitseven
Thank you for understanding how I am feeling. Grieving is a process. It's up and down and never the same.
He loved my (our) apartment His favorite place was the kitchen because I decorated it with gingerbread decorations and the are all smiling. He said it reminded him of Knot's Berry Farm too because I had old fashioned candles in jars that looked Iike homemade raspberry jam. Just a lot of happy stuff in there.
One thing I will remember to take with me is this square red frying pan that had built in grilled metal. So when you threw a steak in there it liked nice with grill marks on it. We used to call it "The man pan". HaHa...

[exitseven]

thank you Sage. I think you should take the door with his fingerprints on it. My wife had an old ststion wagon. We drove that car for15 years. This is during the time we were putting our kids through college. We had no money to fix the car up. I knew somebody at a gas station tht used to get it to pass inspection. We had the college stickers on the back window along with some other decals. I donated the car to a local veterans group. Before they came to get it I removed the back window and I have it hanging in my home office.

[RealMarek]

It’s difficult. If you have photographs, that can help. Writing about your favorite memories that you made in the apartment in as descriptive a manner as possible might help too.

[sage2021]

@RealMarek
You have an excellent idea here. I think I will do just that! Thank you!

[RealMarek]

You’re welcome!

[FunkyMonkee]

I know what that's like. I have a lot of memories stashed away in a lot of places and a good many of them don't even exist, anymore!! Not to mention my house, where I was born and spent all but the last 4 years of my life!! I never even had the chance to get all of my stuff out before they evicted me!! I not only lost my house, I lost my life!! Millions of memories and things that happened to me in that house, gone forever!! Along with a million or two in collectibles I'll never see again!! The ONLY way I can get the house back is if I get a shitload of money and buy it back!! But, even if I do, most of what was there is gone forever!!
You can think of your situation as getting a brand new fresh start! Maybe you'll get a new boyfriend and you two can start creating your own new memories in your new place.

[sage2021]

@FunkyMonkee
You can always become a squatter so they can't kick you out.

Have you heard about squatter's taking n the news lately? It's the newest craze for illegals but you don't have to be an illegal to do it. You just have to prove you've lived in the house for 30 days.
God I am so sorry for so many losses and memories in your life.
Sometimes life really sucks huh?
Sending you a big hug your way.
Hey, maybe you can be my new boyfriend and we can make beautiful memories together haha 😘

[FunkyMonkee]

It was my house.
Technically, I AM squatting in this house and my ex-cousins are trying to take it away from me!
I've lived here for over 4 years.
Thank you! At least I still have all the family picture albums.
Yes, I've been hearing this vacuum sound for at least the past 25 years!!
Thanks!! Back at ya, hun!!
Well, I don't know that that can happen. From what I understand, we're nearly an an entire country apart.

[Jamie05rhs]

You are going to have to move into your new apartment eventually. Otherwise they can take it away from you.

[sage2021]

@Jamie05rhs
All my stuff is moved from the old apartment to the new one. I'll go over there eventually. Most of why I don't want to go there is because it's ugly compared to my cozy apartment I used to have.
It doesn't have carpeting either. They laid down paper (I'm not kidding) that is supposed to look like wood.
I guess they won't kick me out if I visit will they?

[Jamie05rhs]

I don't know. I would look into the laws in your state.

[Iron_Man]

Why can’t the owner of the apartment building fix it it’s a responsibility on their behalf

[Iron_Man]

Why would you spend $500 on cleaning when it’s not your fault

[sage2021]

@Iron_Man
That apartment was like the Titanic! Everytime it rained the ceiling would leak. They installed a new boiler that was on my roof (actually 2 of them) and it still leaked. They replaced the roof and it still leaked. The could never find where the leak was coming from.
All of my stuff had to be put into big plastic bags because they wanted to fumigate my apartment which took three weeks! For three Tuesdays the world spray. During the time all my stuff had been put in these big bags is when the ceiling collapsed. It was a mess and too much for me to handle all by myself. So, we had to hire people to clean everything up and move some stuff.
Since I am sick and my boyfriend died, I didn't have any help. Just me.
They said that healthy people would have been able to do everything so they blamed me because I am sick and can't do such a massive undertaking.
So, I guess I need to know why it is emotionally I don't want to move into this new apartment. I don't even like it. I don't even want to give it character to look like a home. I feel frozen and can't shake it. 😔

[Iron_Man]

Hiring an attorney get your $500 back. I hope you didn’t pay rent while you were gone for three weeks. They’re taking advantage of your kindness. It’s their building. It’s their fault.

[sage2021]

@Iron_Man
Yes, I had to pay rent because all my belongings were in the apartment. I paid $1150 for February and the same for March. And paid $1700 for the company to come out and prep my apartment for the fumigation. That meant EVERYTHING had to be put in big plastic bags, electrical outlet plates taken off, they even took all the wires off from my TV and put the tv on a shelf collecting dust and dirt. They broke my living room lamp, my framed pictures were not wrapped and the glass broke on a lot of them.
But again, they said either get your apartment ready for the bug man or you are evicted!

[sage2021]

@Iron_Man
These are what they call "Apartment Only" apartments, so that means they don't do anything to your apartment repairs or otherwise. If the toilet breaks, I have to fix it.
This used to be an assisted living place then they turned them into apartment only. I guess this is the new way to rent an apartment.

[Iron_Man]

Talk to attorney they don’t charge for a free consultation. This is absolutely ridiculous 100%. I’ve never heard of this before.

[Likes2drive]

Sometimes it’s actually better to start over and start fresh