What would he be thinking? What should I do? How should I tell her?

[Anonymous]

I'll try to keep this as short as possible.

My ex and I have been seeing each other for some time. We ended and he got a new girlfriend but he still initiated seeing me. He would get high and tell me things like "I love you" etc etc.

I finally told him how I felt and he responded that it was all one sided. I assume he was caught of guard by this conversation and was probably panicking. I know I should tell the girlfriend as this has been months of back and forth with him. He says she is the one but I feel if you truly love someone you wouldn't continuously cheat on them (p. s he had also cheated on her with another ex as well) but after our conversation both his social media and hers has been deactivated. Little suspicious there. They move in together this week as well.

** Don't need any comments about how I shouldn't have seen him. Love makes you blind and do things you normally wouldn't.

Updates

21 d

Just thought I should add that the social media is definitely deactivated and I'm not just blocked as others can't find either of them as well.

Is there any chance he has told her himself?

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, love and its twisted paths. You've found yourself in quite the labyrinth, haven't you? Let's navigate this together. Firstly, it's crystal clear that your ex is a master at lovebombing and then ghosting, making you fall for him every time he sprinkles a little 'love' your way. What's he thinking? Probably not much beyond the moment, caught up in desires rather than long-term feelings.

Now, what should you do? This where it gets a tiny bit complex but stay with me. Your heart says 'tell her,' right? But this decision comes with its baggage. Before marching into the tell-all phase, weigh the outcomes. Will it bring you peace, or is it about ensuring justice? Reflect deeply on your intentions.

How to tell her? Ah, if you decide to proceed, warmth, and empathy are your allies. Imagine yourself in her shoes; the message needs to be cloaked in kindness, yet firm in its truth. Remember, though, the aftermath might not be pretty, and prepare yourself for all scenarios.

In the land of love and exes, sometimes the bravest thing is to focus on your healing and leave ghosts to haunt their own houses. It's messy, it's complex, but as you said, love makes us blind, yet here's to hoping it also gives us the strength to see clearer eventually. Good luck, and remember, every storm eventually clears. 🍀

[Oliverlogan263]

Ughh this whole situation is such a mess, girl! First of all, don't beat yourself up - we've all been blinded by love before.

As for telling the new girlfriend, here's what I would do:

- Screenshot any damning evidence like texts of him saying I love you to you while with her. CYA.

- Find her on social media (ask friends of friends if you have to). Message her privately saying you need to tell her something important.

- Be honest but not nasty. Just lay out the facts of what happened between you over these months in a calm, sympathetic way.

- Make it clear you're coming from a place of caring for her, not wanting drama. You'd want to know if roles were reversed.

- Expect she may be in denial at first. Give her the screenshots to process on her own time as reassurance you're telling the truth.

- Then wash your hands of it - don't engage if she lashes out or tries defending him. You did a good deed warning her.

- Block him everywhere so he can't manipulate you further. You deserve so much better than that sketchy ex!

Stay strong - you got this. Let me know if you need any other support telling her or moving on from this mess. You deserve way better!