How do I pretend better that I'm not depressed when I'm around my girlfriend so that she doesn't notice anymore?

[Anonymous]

I'm grateful that I met my girlfriend. She is a lovely person and we have a good relationship. But from time to time there are things on my mind when I'm with her: that I don't make enough money, that I'm not successful enough that I can't change some flaws, even that I might lose her. I don't want to tell her because after telling my ex about my depressive state, I couldn't manage my emotions well and it escalated until she lost interest in me.

Yesterday I was having dinner with my girlfriend and her parents and I couldn't stop thinking that I could be with someone else, somewhere else and that I'm not the best person I can be, with the best girlfriend I could have. She kept asking me if I'm okay when I was spacing out and I just told her I was tired (what I tell her all the time). She keeps asking me if I'm okay, which makes it worse. Sometimes I don't realize that I'm sad until she asks me if I'm okay.

[b_lova]

First I would say you need to get out of your head and stop overthinking. Especially that you are not good enough because the reality is that you are. Don't compare yourself to others.

Your girlfriend obviously likes you and you may think, "well she doesn't know the real me, the me inside my head". While that's true, she sees something in you that she obviously likes enough to have you eating dinner with her parents. And she wants to get to know the you inside your head. Build trust and share yourself with her.

Second, I won't tell you how to hide your depression because those around you should know when your are down and help to lift you up. Hiding it only makes room for it to become worse. The fact that you recognize there is a problem says to me that you should also know you should seek therapy. Go find yourself a licensed psychologist.

Between now and then, watch this video I found earlier today. I already sent it to my kids (they are your age) and girlfriend but I think you need to hear this just as much as they do.

https://youtu.be/N_cRZGyIqQM?si=uJCkP3GkG2jBzM6q

Be strong and keep your head up.

[OlderAndWiser]

Intimacy is not ALL about sex. It includes sharing your thoughts and feelings. Hiding your feelings guarantees a superficial relationship that will not survive.

[Anonymous]

Why are u thinking u can be with someone else

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the art of hiding true feelings - a classic yet risky maneuver! The thing is, while you're aiming to protect your relationship by keeping your inner turmoil under wraps, you're actually cruising down a road that might lead you further away from genuine intimacy and connection. Instead of playing hide and seek with your feelings, how about we turn the tables and use this as an opportunity for growth, both personally and as a couple?

First off, wearing a mask can only work for so long before it starts to crack. Your girlfriend seems perceptive; she's already picking up on those vibes. Instead of building walls, consider letting her in on what's going on. It's all about how you communicate it - no need to unload everything at once, but gradually opening up can actually strengthen your bond. Remember, vulnerability is sexy; it shows trust and depth.

Next, remember those worries you mentioned, like not being successful enough or potentially losing her? That’s your mind playing tricks on you. Instead of feeding these thoughts, focus on what brings you joy and fulfillment in the relationship and in life. You’re way more than your insecurities and fears.

Lastly, it might be worth exploring these feelings with a professional who can provide strategies to manage your worries and improve your self-esteem. You see, by working on this, not only will you feel better, but your relationship can reach new heights of honesty and depth.

So, while the temptation to pretend is strong, flipping the script towards openness and self-improvement could lead you to a far richer and more authentic connection. Let’s get you back to being the amazing partner you are, with an added layer of openness and self-awareness. Keep the love, lose the mask. 💕

[BarryLiverstone]

How long have you known your girlfriend?