My girlfriend isn't so talkative anymore. any ideas?

[Anonymous]

i texted her to bring me something at 9:00am (almost 4 hours ago) that i forgot at the house because i didn't have time to go home and get it myself and she has the day off. when she came to my work, it looked like something was bothering her. i couldn't ask her if something was because she handed my stuff to me and then turned around and slowly walked away after i took it from her hand and said "thanks" and she said "yea, np" with a slight but disappointed grin. i came home for lunch and she's just been really quiet. i've tried talking to her, but i can just tell she doesn't want to or isn't in the mood to talk. she doesn't look tired either, which could cause that. i really want to know if something is bothering her but she doesn't seem in a talkative mood. i'm sitting beside her on the couch now because that's where she is and she just doesn't seem like herself.

usually if i sit by her, she comes closer to me like "automatically" (she's always in a good mood). when i sat beside her like not that long ago, she just stayed in her spot staring blankly into her own world it seemed like until i said her name a few times to get her attention.

i go back to work in 30 minutes because I'm waiting for something to be done and it will be finished by then. please don't answer this with she's being unfaithful, treacherous, disloyal, etc because that is not helpful to this situation at all even though it's the first things to assume in relationships.

[mermaidrocketship]

Is she anxious about something? Does she deal with mental illness? Is she bored? Could she be pregnant? There are a lot of things that might make a woman act out of character. There's also the possibility she doesn't know what's bothering her. That happens to me quite a lot. If nothing changes after 1-2 weeks, definitely talk to her about it.

[Asker]

Usually when she's anxious, i can tell because she'll just act a certain way, play with her hair lots, subconsciously bite her lip, etc. She did deal with anxiety and depression back in high school she said but that changed when she got to university at 18. I don't think she's bored because then she'd just look tired. If she is still like this in a week or two, what should i talk to her about? Like what should i say to her?

[mermaidrocketship]

Straight up ask her why she's so quiet. It might be depression. A lot of people have a hard time expressing emotion when they're depressed. As someone who's experienced it, sometimes you don't feel anything, and you need someone to point it out.

[Asker]

when i came home from work i found her in the living room again. she was on the couch on her computer. when i came up behind her, she wasn't looking at the screen but was just staring into space. i said her name 5 times and she never heard me so i shook her shoulder lightly and then she came back to reality. I've noticed that she's done this before. i honestly don't know why. when i would talk to her, she would pay attention but then like doze off or tune out about 20 seconds later. i don't understand what this is. when she does this i ask if she's fine and she says she is. that makes no sense to me though?

[mermaidrocketship]

She's depressed. It's possible to be depressed and not know.

[Asker]

really? how? wouldn't you feel depressed or even symptoms of depression?

[mermaidrocketship]

It's sometimes the inability to feel. I've had moments where I just feel like sitting on my bed. I'm not sleepy. I don't want to use my computer. I just sit there. If I think about it, I'm not happy or sad. I'm not bored. I just don't want to do anything. No motivation, even if there's something I should do.

[Anonymous]

Well clearly something's bothering her and you can only ask her. As maybe she's had bad news? Or depressed? Or just unhappy about things could be anything

[Asker]

when i came home from work earlier, i asked if she was fine because she didn't seem fine since she's usually not quiet. she told me she was, but that doesn't seem right

[Opinion Owner]

Well just tell her thaf

[Asker]

ok so when i told her that, she said she doesn't feel depressed, but just has a horrible time concentrating. her exact words were "no matter how hard i try to stay concentrated on... anything, i - i can't because i always go into dozer - ville with my attention after a few seconds". what does this sound like to you?

[Opinion Owner]

Basically either it's psychological. Or could still be depression. As that's one of the effects. Or she's just exhausted?

[Asker]

sorry for the late reply but i don't think she's just exhausted. i know it's 3 days later but she still is the same

[Opinion Owner]

It's fine :) could be emotionally exhausted for a while. Has she seen a doctor?

[Asker]

no she hasn't seen a doctor about this kind of stuff

[Opinion Owner]

She probably should as if it is something maybe they can help

[Asker]

i know, but usually those kind of doctors want to put you on medications and my girlfriend does not want to go on any

since i made this post, she has gotten a bit worse. she's a bit talkative but it's very quiet, and she just looks like her dog died. i don't know what to do. i asked if she wanted to get more professional help, and she said not really because they generally just resort to medications as treatments

[Opinion Owner]

It's not really just pills. I mean mine took me off my antidepressants when my mum died. Trying to give me lists of groups that help and therapists so might try that with your girlfriend