Do you think it’s normal to want your boyfriend to come to the door when he picks you up?

Question

I mentioned to my boyfriend that I find it respectful to come to the door when he picks me up. He agreed but then didn’t do it twice after that and just texted that he was here instead. So I brought it up to him and it escalated into a bit of a fight. He said that he forgot and I told him that’s not a valid reason. And then he came back with “what if I had dementia, people forget” which made me upset. This whole thing almost makes me want to break up with him because it’s just so immature. I understand people forget but I told him that I think it’s respectful and he should do it out of respect for me and to make me happy.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

First of all it’s not disrespectful or immature. Most men aren’t raised like that these days so for you to expect him to just do it w out forgetting once in a while, it’s going to take time. Now if he said something like well that’s fucking stupid, it’s 2024 you can walk to the car just as easy by yourself, then ok if think he was immature. Men these days are really confused, especially younger ones because a lot of men have been told by a lot of women we don’t need you. I can do it all on my own. I make more than you. I don’t need you to open the door for me, I’m an independent, strong woman. Etc, etc, etc. What if he said he expects a you to cook for him every time he comes home from work or something? You ok w that? Maybe you are I don’t know.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

If he's driving and there's no place to park, he has to wait in the car, and that's okay to just text or call you and announce that he is here. In all other circumstances, the should meet you at your door.

Same thing should happen when he drops you off at the end of your date.

wiltingrosepetal · Accepted Answer

At my house that's a big fat no, since there is an electronic gate around the place. I need to use a pass code to get him in, there's no point in him walking to the door afterwards.

Also, if this act of chivalry is the hill you will die on, I don't think you're ready for a relationship

Caroline91 · Accepted Answer

I don’t know if it’s “normal”, but any man who ever took me out showed me that respect and I gave my respect to him, as a man, and my appreciation for the class he demonstrated in treating me as a woman of value.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the classic case of expectations vs. actions, and let's sprinkle a little bit of humor with the dementia comment, shall we? 😅 It's perfectly normal to crave that chivalry-like respect, like having your boyfriend come to the door when he picks you up. It's like a scene out of a romantic flick, setting the tone for the evening!

However, dear lovebird, diving into the forgetting pool—he’s human. And while "I forgot" might feel like a slap in the face to your romantic expectations, think of it this way: is this the hill you want your love story to die on? Instead of declaring a cold war over door etiquette, maybe it's time for a playful compromise? How about a flirty reminder text before he arrives? It keeps the communication open, injects a bit of fun into the routine, and gently nudges him toward that knight-in-shining-armor act you're longing for.

Remember, it's the little adjustments and understanding from both sides that keep the relationship ship sailing smoothly. So, let’s not let the door hit us on the way out of this argument, okay? 😉 Keep it flirty, keep it fun! 💑

molonski2 · Answer

NO , sorry assuming he can park , the guy is a rude arsehole ( no offence ) , what annoys me is when you can't come to the door , to respect you , of course he should come to the door , he can message you and say I will be at your door in approximately 10 minutes.

He is a rude prick with no respect , he needs to grow up.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I guess it depends on whether you were both in a rush to get out the door. I can see if you were on a date and did not have to be at a certain spot for a reservation, then he should come to the door every time. However, if you are both running late, then meeting at the car is a reasonable compromise.

JacobJordan · Answer

Quite normal for a feminine woman. I always went to the door for my wife. I also opened the car door for her helped her in and out of the car. Helped her into her chair at restaurants. All the old fashioned gentlemanly things. I still do them to this day.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Years ago that was considered the polite thing to do, like opening the door for her.

Sometimes on first dates you can be read the riot act for doing that, it's getting harder and harder to know what to do.

How about all of the females get together, figure it out and let us know what you want us to do.

RingOfFire · Answer

Unlike the other comments I see here at the time I post this, I agree with you. I think it's disrespectful for him not to come to the door. It's just a small thing, but it is a sign of respect for a man to do that. And if he can't do that it's not a good sign.

Iron_Man · Answer

I can understand that at first but a year later just come out to the car when I show up. People these days want to break up over the littlest thing ever that are not even important. Look at the big picture not small little items that don’t affect us

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

It's not a huge deal but I get it, ideally you'd like your partner to do those little things you know will make them happy. It's the why not, it's a tiny thing but it makes a difference and shows they listen/care.

To break up over that is probably a sign there's a lot of other issues/things going on in the relationship

Serkee · Answer

You sound like the immature one here, not him. You're blowing something that small way out of proportion.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I find it normal because he does that usually. But we talk a bit inside before we actually leave. If we are in a hurry, I am the one waiting at my door to run to the car 😊

Alex-Snow · Answer

I agree with you. It is the right thing to do. I also like it when a girl comes to my door to pick me up if she is driving or asks me out

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

No. Unless you need to carry heavy things it totally acceptable if he waits in the car.

Dinklex3 · Answer

Unless he’s coming inside for a bit I do find it odd. Otherwise it seems a petty tbh.

sheikalana · Answer

You’re making a big deal out of such a small thing. Grow up.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Are you worthy of this level of treatment, or are you just another girl who thinks just showing up is good enough?

DrPepper12 · Answer

Let it go. I think he should but it's not worth fighting over

OddBeMe · Answer

It’s a chivalrous and romantic act. So yes. If he doesn’t is that a dealbreaker…. guess it’s your call.

Likes2drive · Answer

It’s respectful to do unless it’s pouring rain out, it’s not unreasonable

noohair · Answer

Get over yourself. Find some wimp if you can't get him to comply.

imfreeze95 · Answer

Yes it’s normal. It’s also the gentlemanly thing to do.

exitseven · Answer

I always used to do that.

Anonymous · Answer

No. That's crazy

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Sounds like a silly thing to argue about.

Anonymous · Answer

🙄🙄drama queen.

jahaims · Answer

You are ridiculous

Do you think it’s normal to want your boyfriend to come to the door when he picks you up?

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