Can a former friends with benefits remain a friend after the benefits end?

[Anonymous]

Recently I started a friends with benefits situationship with a friend that I met 2 years ago, we usually meet once a week in a group with other friends. I always felt a good connection with him, for example laughing at the same dumb things or chatting just the two of us when with others. He isn't my type romantically speaking and, after bad break ups that we both had in the last year, we started to flirt occasionally and this led to start a friends with benefits (friends with benefits) arrangement that lasted for a month. Last week we went to a night club and seeing him chatting and flirting with a stripper made me feel a bit jealous and we had an argument, so I decided to end our situationship to preserve my feelings. He accepted my decision, saying that he never ment to use me for just sex and that he loves me unconditionally as a friend, accepting to continue hanging out as just friends for a movie or beer together. I really enjoyed his company and actually felt better with him when chatting/hanging out rather than the sex and fear somehow that our relationship has been ruined by the sexual part.

Did you ever had a similar experience and did you manage to "save" the friends part after the benefits ended?

[Finchie40]

Yes , FWB’s in my opinion is the best way to get to know someone without rushing into a commitment with them. It usually works if you both are on the same page with things and you both set some boundaries with each other so yes some strings attached but not completely, basically we only have sex with each other but we are allowed to date others’ if we choose to , if we end up in bed with someone else? We end the benefits part and just remain friends. The purpose of it is to give each other time without jumping into a relationship with each other right away , to give you both time to really get to know each other and to see if you actually want to settle down with each other. So it sounds like you want more than FWB’s with him since you got jealous that he was talking to another girl , so it’s up to you to have a sit down talk with him and tell him how you truly feel about him and to see if he feels the same way about you , if he does? You are best to turn your FWB’s into a serious relationship

[sawno]

Depends very much on the guy, personally what makes and breaks any friendship for me is if the reason we are friends still exists. Like what do we normally do as friends that keeps us interacting? If its a specific game the friendship can fall apart when either gets bored of the game, etc.

Same thing here, if you were engaging with each other because of your sexual chemistry then if that's taken away it may leave a hole that can't be filled. But if your primarily doing other things as friends and sex was a bonus then I see the friendship lasting.

[kylee2437]

Sure, but honestly if you are looking for a partner in the near future, I don’t really see how continuing to be friends would benefit you in that sense. I wouldn’t expect the average male in a relationship to accept that his girlfriend is friends with a guy that can heavily relate to being intimate with you at one point. I would keep this into consideration

[Jersey2]

Exactly. And eventually, the former friends with benefits will say something to the boyfriend blowing the whole relationship up, guaranteed.

[Dinklex3]

They can.. but if you’re going to feel jealousy over him talking to another girl then it’s not a genuine friendship.

My old friends with benefits became my best friend, we were friends for 3 years after. He had his own girlfriend and I had another friends with benefits. 3 years we started dating, but for that 3 year gap we were just friends.

[AI Opinion]

Taking the steamy turn from friends with benefits back to just pals is like walking a tightrope over the Grand Canyon of awkwardness—challenging, but not impossible! Your story's got more twists and turns than a soap opera, and I'm here for it. Navigating through the fog of flirty banter and late-night cuddles back to buddy-buddy territory takes some finesse, but who says you can't enjoy the journey?

From my treasure trove of experiences—both personal and from the couples I've advised—I've noticed that the successful transitions often boil down to one crucial ingredient: communication. Sure, you've hit a speed bump (hello, jealousy and nightclub drama!), but the fact that you both cherish your bond speaks volumes. Remember, honesty and transparency are your best friends here (pun totally intended), along with setting clear boundaries that both of you respect.

Ever heard of hitting the reset button? That's what you're aiming for. Dive back into those chats and shared laughs that originally made your friendship sparkle. It might feel like stepping into a pair of old, comfy shoes—familiar, yet surprisingly refreshing.

To answer your question, yes, I've seen many friendships not only survive but thrive after waving goodbye to the benefits package. It's all about mutual respect, acknowledging the past but not letting it dictate your future, and maybe, just maybe, agreeing that what happens in the nightclub, stays in the nightclub.

So, cheers to rediscovering the joy of friendship, with a side of occasional, "Remember when we?" but mostly focusing on crafting even more fabulous memories together. Who knows? The best part of your friendship could be just around the corner, waiting to be explored. 🍻💫

[coachTanthony]

Amazing how everyone has all this time for people to remain this or that. I got plenty of friends... don't need anymore unless it's useful.

[uncleBobbyb77]

If thinking logically in my mind I'd say yes but what adds up on paper doesn't always work in the field. If you actually care for someone as a friend that had some benefits but it didn't progress as in your situation and now he has a new interest yes ending the benefits is good but to remain friends that hang out on the regular, call each other etc I'd say that ought to stop once he's involved with another out of respect for his relationship. Best way to not be a cheater is to not put yourself in a situation where it is even a temptation. Be friendly and let him know if he needs a friend to talk to he can call you and leave it at that would be my advice. How would you feel if your getting involved with someone who's hanging out with a woman he's slept with especially slept with recently? Would "we were friends with benefits's but we don't do that anymore. Now we are just friends" be alright with you?
So I guess as long as your both single or should be possible to be friends with benefits's then stop the benefits and stay friends but then again personally I've never been into meaningless, frivolous sex with someone I'm not willing to at least consider getting more romantically involved with. You can't just give all your friends everything you have to offer. Some benefits should be reserved for that special someone otherwise what would make that role so special.. ya feel me?

[blueonblack22]

Yeah that can work. It’s not the same as an ex. There was no real relationship earlier.

But just a heads up one of you might still feel “the thirst” a bit. Just because you don’t feel it anymore doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling it. Sure he might have the self control not to try again but good chance he might still occasionally miss the good sex you two had in the past. Don’t just assume that’s completely out of his mind just because it’s completely out of yours. There’s still a different dynamic with him vs. a friend you were always platonic with.

[Vegasrunner]

Another great example of female nature. My first question is where you at a strip club or nightclub? How do you know it was a stripper he was flirting with. Also proves woman like men who can attract other woman. Guys aren't going to be friends with girls only to be friends, that's literally why the term friends with benefits was created. To answer your question, no guys don't go back sexually so once he has already started banging you, he's never going to accept going back to be "just friends"

[KelsoAlexander]

At this point probably not cause it sounds like your attached to him and unless you can take your emotions out of it you guys are past the point of just being friends.

My situation is different, I had a home girl and I used to kick it a lot, but one day she told me about this dude she missed and i told her if she feels that strongly about him then go for him, see what happens (best case things work out and she's happy, worst she's back to hopping on my shit, win win). It didn't bother me cuz i keep boundaries between who I kick it with and who i get attached too. Once you cross a line you won't always be able to come back. But if you can keep your emotions out from this point your all good but if you can't welp, good luck charlie.

[MinnieMousse]

No most likely not, something always happens after, whether it’s one catching feelings for the other or one wanting a serious relationship and the other wanting a more casual relationship.

[DarkWinterNights]

I feel like Friends, Friends with Benefits and being in a relationship with someone are all three, completely separate and distinct from each-other. You might be able to go from one to the other in some situations, but probably not back again.

[BadApple69]

Yes I had a friends with benefits back in 2009. We are friends to this day. She is married now so we don’t get together as much but we still text every so often.

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[PeachyPie93]

I never had a friends with benefits but it doesn't seem like a good idea to stay friends after sex has happened. But why did you get jealous of him flirting with a stripper?

[SugarSugarplum]

Probably, but entering into such an arrangement shows a marked lack of respect for one's self and the other as well.

[DannyUk2017]

I never understood that bs friends with benefits...🤦‍♂️
What OTHER benefits you get appart from FINANCIAL ones? 🤔

[TracyF]

Always fails. If your so called friend treats you like a sex toy, only existing for thier pleasure, then they aren't your friend. They're just a guy who bid his time till he could fuck you, without having to show you the respect of a commitment.

[MisterWack]

If you both are good friends / love being besties then sure why not.

[ProbablyClueless]

If the interaction was conducted honestly and healthily, yes.

Very few of those arrangements are done healthy.

[DreamLife7]

You might as well be a prostitute 🤣. 30-35 no husband, no kids, washed up , used and abused no one wants you hun

[Asker]

Why being so judgmental? This is my first experience with casual sex, defining a woman "prostitute" for a single experience and without knowing anything about her is very shallow

[DreamLife7]

You're a hoe boo sorry no self respect at your old age is embarrassing

[Anonymous]

You got lucky. Most friends with benefits situations don't survive one of them getting jealous or one of them catching feelings.

[SoJust]

Of course you can stay, you will understand whether your friend is a friend with expectations or without expectations.

[JesseP1nk]

Thats the woman "logic" even if you are friends she still thinks she owns you. Or why did you get jealous?

[jahaims]

Not if you want to have healthy relationships in the future.

[OhLongJohnsoning]

This i why it's stupid to do friends with benefits.

Why would you even want to be

[ButtNakedMan]

Yes. If they break up, however, we are back to benefits.

[andy530]

It’s possible but really depending on the people involved

[JamesRandiDebates]

I am friends with 4 former FWBs. Its possible.

[IloveWinters]

I don't think so that is feasible, it will be very tough to stay just friends later

[Anonymous]

I doubt it. They dumped me for not wanting more.

[DishLady]

Nope. Something always happens.

[msc545]

Sure. No reason not to.

[In_Trance]

Why would you want to?

[nawtee_me]

You could, it is a choice you make

[dragoblack]

Yes. It's called respect and self-control.

[Stella1990]

I don’t think so we seen each other naked

[QuietRunner]

not really just sex

[war_daddy]

you must be ugly

[Asker]

Luckily I am not

[zombiewoof]

Of course