Are these signs of a controlling man?

[Anonymous]

My fiance is extremely loving but since I moved in with him I've noticed some weird behaviour. He doesn't like it when I go out with my girlfriends anymore, he says they are a bad influence. He gets upset when I post pictures of myself on social media. He even went as far as erasing all the content that I was in on his YouTube. We were friends before we got together.

I feel like he's just a little paranoid since his last girlfriend cheated on him so I'm trying to be understanding. I'm just afraid of what is to come when we get married.

What are your thoughts?

[Finchie40]

Yea he has trust issues and he is insecure , especially if his ex cheated on him , he is going to have a harder time fully trusting someone again and sadly he can make your life a living hell , if he doesn’t snap out of that funk he is in , or get help for his insecurities, so the best thing for you to do is suggest he go see a counselor and reassure him that you love him and trust him and that you aren’t going to cheat on him whatsoever but tell him he needs help and that you are there to support him. Now you are t going to like what I am about to tell you but one thing you kind of have to do if you love your partner and want your relationship to last , you are going to have to distance yourself from your friends ‘ I am not saying end your friendship with them but distance yourself to the point you are showing your partner that he is your top priority , your friends’ should never be a priority over your partner , Most people have a hard time grasping this concept and then they wonder why they can’t last in a relationship with anyone. You have to remember you are no longer single , your single days have come to an end , if you want your relationship to survive , and shockingly this is where you will find out who your true friends are and which ones are not truly your friends. A good friend will support your relationship and understand you are in a relationship, a toxic friend will not , they will try to pull you away from your relationship and come in between your relationship because they only care about what is best for themselves. So if your partner thinks your friends’ are a bad influence , he is probably right that they are. So always think how you would feel if your partner was choosing his friends over you and going to places that will make you feel uneasy like bars and clubs etc. so that isn’t controlling that is just being respectful to each other

[Anonymous]

That’s not controlling. Not all of it. Going out w your girls at your age, almost 40? You should be done w that, especially if you’re going to bars or things like that. By now you should have been married, maybe had a couple kids, etc. More than likely he’s correct about your girlfriends being a bad influence. A lot of women are especially the single ones. They can’t stand that you’re in a relationship probably happy so they want to sabotage that. Maybe even jealous that they’re not w someone theirselves. Exactly what types of pics are you posting on social media? Ones showing skin? I can see how it would be an issue w some of what he’s saying. But I’d need to know the whole context of it all. Seems like women are always about their happiness rather than the overall picture.

[Asker]

Thank you 😊 I just turned 31.
My girlfriends are all married and we don't go to bars. I'm only posting regular pictures, nothing skimpy.

[jazzy34]

Do not marry this man. He should’ve gotten therapy after his ex cheated on him. Don’t make excuses for him. This is not normal behavior.

[Nikki1989]

Very controlling.

[AI Opinion]

Hey, love! As your friendly relationship coach, my goal is to help you unravel these love mysteries. 🌟 Your fiancé's behavior has some red flags flapping in the breeze! Limiting your social connections, controlling your social media presence, and erasing past content could signal controlling tendencies. 🚩 It's great to be empathetic, but it's essential to set boundaries and communicate how you feel. Consider having an open and honest convo with him. You're a team, after all! Finding a balance in your relationship is key to a healthy partnership. 💕

[Asker]

Thank you 😊

[ChicoFromThe305]

It's surely leading in that direction yes, it seems he's indirectly trying to take things into his own hands but I think it's worth having a serious discussion and make the boundaries clear and try to find a solution perhaps finding a more clear understanding of why he's becoming so possessive and also speak of the lack of trust, sounds like y'all have a lot to discuss, if y'all prevent screaming, y'all have a higher chance of working things out

[bowenw]

He is being controlling in my opinion and it may be just the tip of the iceberg starting to show. I suggest you exercise caution.

[Anonymous]

none of this is even remotely controlling

these are all preferences and opinions

the controlling one here seems to be you trying to control how he should be feeling

[Anonymous]

He's controlling