How do you deal with the guilt after showing ungrounded jealousy?

Question

I am usually not the one to start a drama over jealousy, or to feel easily jealous, but yesterday I allowed myself express the negative emotion for what I later figured out was a totally ungrounded feeling. I feel so shy and awkward for that and so guilty.

I think this moment stems from my past experience with my ex, who would always try to provoke jealousy in me to see if I still cared for him, if he felt even slightly my attention was shifted. So, I felt that maybe this time the new man also tried that and later I figured out, that was totally ungrounded and he had pure intentions… And he did not mean to make me jealous and I acted totally out of place…

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Just apologize and admit you were wrong , no one is perfect and we all make mistakes , so if you can admit to yourself you were wrong and be honest about it , you are doing the right thing by apologizing, whether that other person accepts your apology or not , you are still doing the right thing. It sounds like your ex did a number on you and traumatized you , so to fully move on from your ex , is going to take time, because you will have memories that will not magically disappear , but hopefully you will be able to bury them and put it all behind you in a matter of time , You are best to act like your ex doesn’t exist period , stay clear of him and exempt him from your life as much as possible , understand an ex is an ex for a reason , exempt them from your life has much as possible and try not to let them effect you on any way because they should mean nothing to you period , if they truly loved and cared and cared about you they wouldn’t be your ex period. I know it’s easier said than done , but in time those memories will fade away if you keep ignoring them to the point they don’t mean shit to you anymore.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Well you know what we all mess up each and every day we all do something that we probably shouldn't do but when you couldn't acknowledge it and say hey I've messed up I'm wrong for doing what I did because of this reason and that reason that makes you even a bigger person than doing what you did I like that you can accept it you can acknowledge it and say hey it's not me I apologize I just let myself get to myself and I was wrong I'm sorry that right there this question means more to me than what you did because what you did is one thing but this answer that you gave to yourself in the question is even 10 times better so I say congratulations you have just grown and become better and so advice since I read your question and answer because I believe in what you believe in there's no reason in this world to ever get jealous about anybody or anything especially if you know who you are so it's okay to be human and fall down it's what matters is how we get back up and you stood straight up dusted yourself off and said sorry I was wrong I think you're great

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

That doesn’t sound like guilt, it sounds like shame. And it sounds like you subconsciously recognized an old pattern and let that fuel your actions based on your previous experience. The best you can do is apologize for your actions, own up to the fact that you projected an image of your ex onto your current partner, and learn to prevent this in the future by being more aware of these patterns and using that awareness to prevent actions you don’t want to take in this new relationship.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Acknowledge your feelings and then find the root cause.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Hey there, lovebird! 😊 It sounds like you've got a little green-eyed monster moment hanging around, huh? It's absolutely normal, especially with past experiences haunting you like a pesky ex. 🙄 The key is being honest and talking it out with your new man. Apologize, share those feelings, and let him know why you reacted that way. Communication clears the air and can bring you both closer. Plus, people love a partner who’s open about their feelings—and who doesn't appreciate a touch of vulnerability? Keep your head up and your heart open! 💖

RavVid · Answer

I infer you have acknowledged your jealousy to him and you accepted his explanation as genuine.

There isn't much need to feel guilt. OK you both know now you can feel jealous, so you have some strong emotions. I think just move on acknowledging those strong emotions. No guilt is needed.

superchan2011 · Answer

Well it sounds like you already know what triggered your upset. So what I would do in your situation is apologize to the guy you're talking to and explain to him the reason why you acted like you did, just like you did on here.

NathanDavis · Answer

I'm not sure about that one... since I never got that jealous with my ex-girlfriends, the one time I got jealous, she was not my girlfriend yet, lmao... so I only laughed to myself, and did not create any drama out of it, lol

OddBeMe · Answer

Ungrounded is unfounded. But shrug it off and blame it on the love. “Just don’t hurt me like that baby…”

Pete671 · Answer

Forgive yourself and use the experience to help others,,,

WhitneySnow · Answer

I feel the same way you do

SlightlyMental · Answer

Nomasking, no face saing, you admit your bullshit there and then and square it away, you accept the decisionof the other for your bullshit.

Jltakk · Answer

I grow jealous of most people, and guilt myself out of it by default. Dealing with the lingering guilt, I sleep it off or journal it.

Agape93 · Answer

No idea. I don't feel either of those

RingOfFire · Answer

Just tell him it's hormones. Men get it.

DrPepper12 · Answer

If I ever get jealous I'll let you know!

Dongie · Answer

Except you're human, apologize and move on.

Shamalien · Answer

Genuine humility

Knightwatch27 · Answer

Just apologize.

spartan55 · Answer

LDR guy?

jahaims · Answer

By maturing

Anonymous · Answer

Depends

How do you deal with the guilt after showing ungrounded jealousy?

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How do you deal with the guilt after showing ungrounded jealousy?

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