Would you be okay if your spouse did little favors for the opposite gender and it’s more than few times ?

[Emily12344]

[razelove]

If it's family members or co-workers within the confines of being platonic, then yeah, I don't see an issue there.

I'll grab coffee and bottles of water from the break room for my co-workers when I get on shift, or sometimes they'll grab something for me when they get on. We'll also do stuff like buy community snacks, a box of variety chips, ramen cups, granola bars, snacks like that.

BS about old relationships, eat lunch together, talk about family. We're working at a job and professionals though. I doubt I'm unique, but if a coworker was going through a break-up and propositioned me I'd gently turn them down. You don't shit where you eat.

[Emily12344]

See you mentioned coworkers, we talking about this one chick he be sometimes making coffee ( while he makes some for himself) and brings it for her bc she don’t want to walk with her legs over to the break room , I’m guessing she brought him a biscuit before from break room

[razelove]

Yeah, that sounds innocent, now if they were meeting up for drinks or something outside of work, giving each other massages, or being secretive about it, that's your red flag. Also the more you resist it, the sweeter the forbidden fruit tastes.

If he's a cheater, and they're going to sleep together, it's going to happen. They spend more time together than you two do, which is why you feel uneasy. As long as he isn't giving her cream pies, there isn't anything to worry about.

Maybe pop into his work one day to bring a surprise lunch and see if they look guilty about anything just to put yourself at ease. Either everything is fine and you get some time together, or it brings you some closure. No harm either way.

[Summeroflove]

Well depends on what the favors are and it depends on the intentions behind it. Some people are just nice people so if that’s the case it wouldn’t be a problem.

Okay, what to look for is the totality of the circumstances. What was the favors? Does he/she do favors for other people? What is the rapport between both individuals? The list of things goes on as well as your gut feeling.

If you get that sick feeling inside there could be something going on. It all just really depends on a lot of factors.

[Emily12344]

Well let’s say this is as far as I know, she been bringing him like biscuits from the break room when he didn’t feel like “walking “ there and he few times brought her coffee when he was on the way there type of thing

[Summeroflove]

Well it really depends I don’t know what they’re doing it could be innocent enough or there could be something more.

Who is he to you?

[Summeroflove]

And feel free to message me

[MoonFace2]

Maybe he’s just being kind. What’s wrong with that? I do kind things all the time, just for the sake of being good to people.

[Emily12344]

For the same chick? While also being married?

[MoonFace2]

Hmmm…I’m just thinking about that…. it depends…. are they like brother and sister friends? What does he actually do for her?

[MoonFace2]

If he’s spending huge amounts of money on her and more time with her than with you, I’d say he’s out of line and it should be discussed. If you’re just feeling like being married to you makes him your property and he can’t so much as glance in another girl’s general direction, then you’re out of line and it should be discussed.

[Emily12344]

As in getting out of his way to get her some coffee bc that girl is too tired to walk that way, and he been doing it few times, not sure if she pay him back and they friends also stuff like that

[MoonFace2]

Either way, it should be discussed. In my family, we always talk about what’s bothering us; and then we’re all on the same page and whoever’s wrong makes things right and we focus on resolving the issue rather than who’s right or holding it over them forever. I think that’s why we get on so well. I advise and encourage you to do this.

[MoonFace2]

It sounds like he’s just being nice. But it’s bothering you, so you’ll both feel better when you talk to him (calmly); about your thoughts. You both have the right to be heard in any relationship.

[Emily12344]

Yes mam but what I’ve just mentioned do you think there is anything wrong with that?

[Emily12344]

In you’re opinion

[MoonFace2]

I’m not coming from a place of judgment. I just think the answer is to talk to your husband. It may seem small to some people, but the important thing is that it’s important to you. Don’t let it fester inside you and get bigger until you explode and say something you can’t take back.

[MoonFace2]

I personally can’t see an issue with what he did, because I think he was honest with you. But it’s bothering you. So discuss it.

[Emily12344]

lol you would the mad if you’re man did it

[Emily12344]

Wouldn’t be mad *

[MoonFace2]

No honestly I’m not possessive of my boyfriends. I think if I choose them and they choose me, we should trust each other and if we can’t, then we should end things.

[Emily12344]

lol I just look at it as giving some other chick attention bc come on would you do a favor for some body you have 0 interest for

[MoonFace2]

The important thing is not what I think, but that you’re feeling upset with what he did, because you’re worried he might like this girl. I’d discuss it with him and tell him it makes you feel jealous and afraid of losing him, because you really love him. I’m sure this can be resolved.

[MoonFace2]

Some people would yes, because they’re kind.

[Nikki1989]

Of course, and he does. I help out my male friends too. No insecurities in our marriage.

[Emily12344]

So what about if you pay each other back is that considered favors?

[AI Opinion]

As your go-to flirtatious relationship coach, I feel you! It's important to know what's fair game in your relationship. If your spouse is doing constant little favors, make sure there's trust, and it doesn't hang a red flag over your head. Communication is the key! Set some flirty boundaries and never let those favors become more important than the bond you share. Love on! 😜

[Emily12344]

Do you think it’s wrong

[TheStaleMarshmellow]

You will never see a negative view from these botties. It's gross

[Finchie40]

Yes, it would t bother me , it would only bother me if my partner was being rude and disrespectful to me but being kind to everyone else , than to me that’s a red flag , but if your partner is still sweet and loving and caring to you , then you shouldn’t let it bother you , they are just being nice

[Emily12344]

To the one specific chick like why

[Finchie40]

That can be shady if he is only doing it for her and no one else , if she is a co worker she might just be a work buddy , but sadly coworkers can be shady as well

[Emily12344]

Right

[Emily12344]

I don't know I mean she been getting him stuff too I guess

[Finchie40]

You have every right to feel uncomfortable about their friendship , I been in your shoes before and it’s a shitty feeling. Inbox me if you can , I tried inboxing you but it looks like we have to follow each other to do so

[Finchie40]

Just want to give you some advice and not broadcast it to everyone else

[MisterWack]

If it is actually “little favors” like taking out the garbage for neighbors, assisting a friend with their furniture / items to help them move into their new apartment complex, sending flowers to someone who is in the hospital, etc. then it is all right with me because that would show my girlfriend’s true character & spirit & pure heart.

I’d support her in all those circumstance even if it was the same person.

[Emily12344]

We talking about at work, he be going to break room to get some coffee or snack he will make this one chick coffee and bring it to her sometimes bc she don’t want to take a walk over there ( sus) right bc it’s been only her lately be been doing this too

[MisterWack]

@emily12344 Maybe have him ask her why she doesn’t take a walk over there, if the answer doesn’t satisfy you / give you confidence then tell him that it makes you feel weird and that you should stop getting her coffee to make you feel comfortable.

[Emily12344]

Bc she’s tired sometimes , that means he cares for her huh I mean would u be okay with that?

[MisterWack]

@emily12344 My girlfriend has helped animals, give good advice to people, and she is good with men & women so if it was my situation I’d trust her.

If she’s tired sometimes and doesn’t always expect him to give her coffee then that is okay, if it is all the time I’d find it a bit weird in your shoes. You do whatcha gotta do.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

well, first define little favors? As an example I know a girl who will give a friend a BJ as a favor if they are feeling down and isn't in a relationship.

She doesn't see anything wrong with it. No I do not see it the same but everyone will have a different view.

[Emily12344]

Like as in going to break room at lunch and making her coffee bc she didn’t feel like walking there and getting your self out of the way to hand it to her

[lightbulb27]

yes, in some cases I'd applaud.

other scenarios be bad and would pull her back.

depends on intent and what's going on.

[Emily12344]

Okay

[LonelyHsoul]

Depend what you mean by little favors, platonic helping about yes it's fine, flirting, no as you get the person who your flirting with hopes up

[Emily12344]

I mean like if I go get coffee and bring it to my opposite sex friend

[Emily12344]

Or something similar but if it’s constantly

[LonelyHsoul]

Getting coffee is fine, I think next you ask a question like this, be a little more specific :-)

[Emily12344]

For the same chick?

[blueonblack22]

for some odd reason I keep getting notifications for responses on this question despite obviously not posting it nor commenting until now.

[EmmaMary]

I have absolutely no problems whatsoever... There is complete and total trust within our marriage.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the relationship? Family, no, until it becomes excessive. Old friends that she never banged? A little annoyed and I'd talk to her about it. A new "friend" or guys she has (or wants to) bang? Game over.

[Anonymous]

No. Not the way you say it. Sounds like they’re hitting on the opposite gender in the form of doing favors for them. And they’re almost certainly a guy. Women don’t flirt that way.

[Emily12344]

Right? Let’s say for the most part it’s bc he be hitting on the chick and it’s always the younger ones, why not do it with someone older bc older woman aren’t stupid!

[Opinion Owner]

I agree with you

[Emily12344]

This chick is younger girl I never see him asking favors from like Someome who’s mid 40s or older bc ya know

[Opinion Owner]

Makes sense sadly

[Yannae]

Depends on the favor. Some colleagues make me coffee.

[Emily12344]

lol something like that in particular but what if it’s the same chick isn’t it little sus

[Yannae]

It isn't. It's just coffee.

[Emily12344]

He brings it to her

[Yannae]

I do the same. It's only natural to return it. And if not it is just a kind gesture..

[Yannae]

That along with just asking about their day goes a long way in a team.

[LaurenM1997]

If it’s family members then yes other girls than that nope

[Apple1996]

Wouldn't bother me

[Emily12344]

Do you see it being a favor if you paying each other money back

[Anonymous]

You either trust your spouse or do not. Happy people do not wander. They do often help the needy without motive. Details are everything.

[David5668]

Could It be as simple and innocuous as it’s just simply in their nature to be a nice person.

[Emily12344]

Okay? But so to a specific chick?

[David5668]

Point taken-i thought there was more than one

[Emily12344]

Looks like just one am I overthinking? Or he still trying be nice

[Iron_Man]

No, unless it’s for the poor and needy volunteer services. Anything else I don’t want any cheating behind my back

[soe11]

• From me absolutely okay.
• I am broad minded guy.

[In_Trance]

How would you feel if your husband was doing things for another woman?

[Emily12344]

Right right

[Eleni0199]

Sure I’d trust her if I didn’t i wouldn’t date her.

[Stephanie2004]

She become an ex then. Or wouldn’t be dating. That be world oldest profession.

[FunkyMonkee]

No. As long as they're just friends.

[Emily12344]

But why I don’t understand he has guy friends can’t he ask?

[FunkyMonkee]

Maybe he just knows that she can do it better.

[TonyMetal___86]

Like what kind of favors?

[Staximus]

I don't know dude

[MemeSupreme]

probably

[Agape93]

Yeah?

[dudeinohio]

Nope

[Emily12344]

What if they pay each other money back

[dudeinohio]

Still no. It's disrespectful of me and our relationship.

[Emily12344]

Right

[zombiewoof]

Sure if she wants

[Slim57]

Probably not