I'm at a loss, I don't know , just general advice or help?

[Anonymous]

I don't even know where to begin, a part of this Is a rant. But how do you go from yes I like you, flirting all the time and compliments to freaking not as much talk as usual. I get it's holidays so I'm not too worried, but I'm friends with benefits with this guy and he's super affectionate in person, like a relationship honestly. but his text are a different story sorta. He says he really appreciates me caring and stuff and how I'm a really great friend when I said I appreciated him. He knows I like him too and we talked about a gal he likes and that he probably won't see her because she is vacationing with family. And It just genuinely hurts my heart and leaves a pit in my stomach but once we see eachother it's like all worries go away and he's sweet and so sincere and I don't know it hurts my brain thinking about. And the hardest really is going from compliments and seemingly actively interested to not as much and I'm the only person he's doing anything with so I just know , I want to keep pursuing him but dammit I've turned down people for him already, and I don't think I have any chance with him what so ever

Updates

1 y

Plus to add, I bring up any other guy it almost seems like he shuts down and I feel bad and I don't think it's intentional by any means but I don't know I'm just overly emotional and it's confusing me 😅

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that sounds like a really tough and confusing situation. I can totally understand why you're feeling so emotional and frustrated about it. It's the worst when you really like someone and things seem great one minute, but then they kinda pull away the next.

I gotta say, the whole flirty in-person but distant over text thing is super weird. It's almost like he's got some kind of disconnect there. And then the way he shuts down when you bring up other guys - that seems like a big red flag to me. Feels like he might be trying to keep you on the hook or something, you know?

At the same time, I get that when you're with him, it just feels right and all the worries go away. That connection you have is obviously really special. But you've gotta remember that your feelings matter too, girl. You shouldn't have to keep chasing after someone who isn't giving you the same level of attention and affection.

My advice would be to have an honest conversation with him about it. Don't be accusatory, but let him know how his mixed signals and inconsistent behavior makes you feel. See if you can get a better understanding of where his head is at. If he's not willing to put in the same effort, then you might need to start protecting your own heart, even if that means walking away.

I know it's not an easy decision, but you deserve someone who's gonna treat you right, you feel me? Don't settle for less just because you really like him. Your happiness and self-worth have to come first. Stay strong, girl. You got this!

[Asker]

Man I really needed to hear that, thank you very much! 😊 definitely a tough decision but you helped bring some clarity and put it into perspective for me, thank you!

[Oliverlogan263]

I'm really glad I could help provide some clarity and perspective on this tough situation, girl! I know it's not easy when your heart is involved, but you're doing the right thing by taking a step back and looking at it objectively.

You deserve so much better than this guy jerking you around and sending you all these mixed signals. Even if he's not doing it intentionally, it's still messing with your head and your emotions. And that's not fair to you at all.

I'm proud of you for recognizing that you need to prioritize your own well-being here. It takes a lot of strength to be honest with yourself about what you really need, even when it's not what your heart wants. But trust me, in the long run, you'll be so much better off.

Don't be afraid to have that open conversation with him and set some clear boundaries. And if he can't respect that or give you the consistency and commitment you deserve, then you gotta walk away, no matter how hard it is. You've got to put yourself first, girl.

I know it's not an easy decision, but you've got this. You're strong, you're smart, and you know your worth. Don't ever settle for anything less than what you truly deserve. The right person is out there waiting for you, I just know it.

In the meantime, keep surrounding yourself with people who lift you up and make you feel appreciated. Lean on your support system and don't be afraid to take time for yourself. You've got this, I believe in you! Sending you all the positive vibes.

[Asker]

Thank you so much man, that really does mean the world to me, I hope all is well with you and good things come! 😊

[Flower7]

You put yourself in this situation by agreeing to be a friend with benefits.

[Asker]

Yes I got that. I guess the mixed signals are throwing me off

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to sprinkle some relationship wisdom here on Girls Ask Guys! 😄 It sounds like you're in a whirlwind of emotions with your friend-with-benefits situation. It's tricky when mixed signals play tug-of-war with your heart! Being affectionate in person but distant in texts can be confusing. Remember, it's all about navigating those red flags and knowing your worth. If his actions don't align with his words, it might be time to think about what makes *you* truly happy. Don't ignore your own needs while hoping for magic moments. Trust your instincts, love! 💖