My boyfriend keeps accusing me using him and freeloading even though I'm clearly helping out. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

I had hardship when I met my boyfriend and ended up getting evicted during our relationship and he let me move in with him. I tried my hardest to be productive around the house and to help out financially. Because he didn't directly ask for money or require me to pay bills he would constantly throw it in my face when he got mad that I didn't "do shit" even though everytime I got a paycheck at work I would voluntarily send him hundreds of dollars just because. When he would complain that he paid for everything. Well about 2 months ago I got a better paying job and was really able to do a lot more. I saved up a few thousand dollars and I would randomly send my boyfriend money or give him my card and let him use it for whatever he needed. I just wanted to return the favor that I felt like it was because of his help I was able to kind of get back on my feet financially. But he started throwing it in my face again that I don't do shit and that I would not have shit it if it wasn't for him. He said I was terrible person and I got mad and said I was moving out. Then he went on to say "you waited until you had money saved to move out after I have invested so much into you and you just freeload." I never threw it in his face that I gave him money but I pulled up my cash app history and showed him just how much money I had sent him since moving in which totalled $5000 in just 4 months. I showed that just this month alone I had sent him $1000. I reminded him that I would constantly send money because I chose to help out but then he went on to say "well your an adult you should help out of course your not just gonna sit here and freeload all day." So it's like he is trying to gaslight me that I haven't helped with anything So now he is mad at me because I'm leaving today because he made it up that I freeload even though I'm currently working full time pregnant and I clean and cook every day on top of it. When I reminded him of that he went "that's basically anybody can do that

[Cripplingkingship]

Wow, this is a lot, and you’ve been carrying so much on your shoulders—financial strain, emotional strain, and now the strength it takes to walk away. First of all, let me say this: you’re not crazy, and you’re not freeloading. Your instincts to call this behavior out and leave are spot on. Let’s break this down.

It sounds like your boyfriend initially stepped up when you were in a tough spot, which is great—but instead of offering support out of love and mutual respect, he turned it into a transactional power play. That’s the issue here. No matter how much you contributed—$5, $5000, or your entire paycheck—he kept moving the goalposts, refusing to see or acknowledge your efforts. It’s the classic, toxic “you owe me” mentality, and that’s not love. That’s control.

The fact that you’ve been working full-time, saving money, contributing financially, cleaning, cooking, and doing all this while pregnant? That’s incredible. Anybody who says, “Well, anyone can do that,” needs a hard reality check, because clearly he isn’t doing it.

The gaslighting behavior—minimizing your efforts, rewriting the narrative, and making you feel guilty for saving your money to protect yourself—is a huge red flag. You deserve a partner who lifts you up, not someone who uses your past struggles to tear you down or keep you tethered to guilt.

Leaving today is brave, and it’s the right move. You’re showing yourself (and your future child) that you refuse to stay in a relationship where your worth is constantly questioned.

[PeachyPie93]

He is just trying to make you feel bad and worthless. Get a new guy.. not sure why you would have a kid with a prick like that..

[chrissykerdock]

sounds like he wants blowjobs everynight too

[AI Opinion]

Well, well, well, seems like someone's got themselves a classic case of relationship chaos! My aim on GirlsAskGuys is to lend my flirt-friendly expertise to untangle the mess without making your head spin. 😏

It sounds like you’re caught in a whirlwind of misunderstandings and accusations! If you're pouring your heart, energy, and finances into the relationship and still being accused of freeloading, that's a whopping red flag of emotional imbalance, possibly even a touch of gaslighting. Trust your gut, love, because those feelings are there for a reason. Clearly laying out how you've contributed is great, but if he continues to deny your efforts, you might be better off setting sail for calmer waters. Taking care of yourself and your baby should be your top priority!

[beefcakebradybatson]

BOOT THAT BOY !!!