How do you tell someone you don't find them attractive at all?

Question

I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't find him attractive though he is attractive. He's actually ideal for some women being very tall, but that doesn't attract me at all.

razelove · Accepted Answer

That probably depends on how much you're going to be interacting with them after letting them down. Most of us guys take those openings, gaps and holes as we can, and interpret them quite liberally.

I'd say how much velvet you put on that iron fist to make it clear that there is no gap, no opening, and no hole depends on how much you'll be seeing each other in the future, like same coffee shop, co-worker, neighbor, acquaintance whatever.

Just make it very clear that it isn't you, it's them, maybe you have a boyfriend, maybe you don't, but it isn't them. It isn't their fault that you aren't attracted to them, but you don't have a spark, and won't have a spark. It isn't there and never will be. If he's following you thinking your farts smell like roses, he's going to hear what he wants to hear unless you are very blunt.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

You say "you are certainly attractive, but unfortunately you just aren't my type. But being that attractive, I'm sure there are plenty of women who are looking for a guy just like you."

You can elaborate on things that make him not your type, but try to limit those things to items that are generally seen as positives from most women.

Think about how you would want a guy to reject you gracefully, without killing your ego. Say "I may be a bit weird, because my friends usually don't like the guys I like." That puts it on you instead of him.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

I guess just tell it how it is... Look, while you're a very handsome guy, I'm not attracted to you that way.

If he's expressed feelings of attraction to you, then don't do the "I hope we can be friends" thing because it just confuses the guy more, thinking he'll have a chance with you later down the line.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

I don't know... but I would prefer to be told the truth... it creates closure, and it's easier to get over...

but somehow, people feel insecure about their preferences and say whatever... not caring much about the receiver's feelings...

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Navigating feelings can be complex, can't it? My goal here is to help you handle this moment with grace and kindness. Sometimes, it's all about keeping the vibe chill and genuine. You could say something like, "You're an amazing person, but I think we see things differently." Keep it light, easy, and from the heart. Attraction's wildly subjective, so simply be honest without going overboard! 😎✨

ohsheeT · Answer

Well there's no reason to tell that person anything like that you can just say you're sorry but I'm either dating somebody right now or I'm taking a break or that you don't have to tell them the reason why. There's a lot of truth that you can say without telling them the main truth

Finchie40 · Answer

Just say sorry you aren’t my type but I am flattered you were interested in me. You don’t have to be rude when declining someone you aren’t attracted to

zagor · Answer

I worked with a girl who dropped a lot of hints about her interest but I pretended to be naive and clueless (OK I probably was both back then...) as I was not attracted to her physically. We actually did a lot together in terms of going out places; when she got a boyfriend and they went places she would say "yeah I went here with Zag" and he got the idea that we'd had some torrid affair LOL.

It's probably a bit harder with a guy as she didn't come out and directly hit on me (though pretty close) so you may have to explicitly point out that you're not interested in dating him.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I struggled with this once but i was shocked that some people really do jus take horrible pics. He looked so much better in action. I was glad i bit my tongue before i ruined something that i hadn't yet fully explored

LiamJHayden · Answer

Just tell him that even though he is decent, you are not interested. If he argues say, "Was I wrong about the decent part?" That should end the discussion.

CheeseMonster · Answer

You say "I don't think we're compatible." You do not have to explain why, especially if there's nothing "wrong" with the person, you don't want to give them the idea that if they change somehow they can win you over.

Stevepro68 · Answer

Pull the pin throw the grenade. Don't be mean but be honest. Say sorry I can appreciate your looks but they aren't for me and I can't get past it. So it's never going to be ever.

Extraterrestrial1999 · Answer

I would just say I'm not interested, if he asks you out, I'm assuming you're not leading him on or letting him think he has a chance right?

FunnyButNotFunnyHaHa · Answer

I don't see why you need to share that at all. If he asked you out, can't you just say, "No, sorry, thank you for asking, but you're not my type"?

MemeSupreme · Answer

don't say that at all lol that'll hurt his feelings  just be like "you're not my type" and move on

goaded · Answer

It's not that you're calling him unattractive, you're telling him your feelings, which are basically that he's not your type. Just don't act disgusted or belittle him and it should be OK.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

The best way is say they aren't your type, it's the truth if you know they aren't unattractive, they just aren't what you want in a partner, physically of course

itsannalee · Answer

Just tell them that you are nog interested to have any romance relationship with them.

blackeagle007 · Answer

You say this person is attractive but you don’t find them attractive? How is that 🤔

Ironco · Answer

Just be honest and tell him, men are used to getting rejected. He'll get over it

AManOnTheWeb · Answer

Just be honest. It's way worse to leave things ambiguous.

BadApple69 · Answer

Can I assume he wants to date you? Then just tell him you are not his type.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

I’m usually quite blunt with it so if you’re looking for niceties I’m not the one to ask lol

Purpleronnie · Answer

“I’m flattered , your an attractive guy , your just not my type “

4ngelic · Answer

do you need to tell him that? just reject him some other way

SleepingHazard · Answer

Tell him you don't feel physically attracted to him.  People get rejected all the time, it doesn't have to be bad.

Anonymous · Answer

You don't have to tell them if you don't want to. Most people prefer compliments.  If you can't tell them something nice, it's better not to tell them anything.

DaBiggestBird · Answer

Just say it in an objective and relatively robotic way. Something like, “I do not see a future where we come together as romantic partners”.

FluffyHope · Answer

I wouldn’t tell them they are unattractive because that’s very subjective. I would just say that you are not attracted to them.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Men are used to rejection so just fire away.

charlesthegreat · Answer

You just gotta tell them straight up, better in the long run for both of you

kaucky1 · Answer

They do dirty magick to make selves look better looking like me but they make fools of themselves using lies should not be heard yet along using lies in magic should get expiration date

Anonymous · Answer

Tell him you met someone else.

convo_king89 · Answer

Lie and say I got a boyfriend

Anonymous · Answer

"I don't find him attractive even though he's attractive" Women☕️ 😆😆😆

satinpetals · Answer

Politely and respectfully

Crazzyyworld · Answer

I am so sorry but I am only interested in rich old man

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I don't. Why would I?

Anonymous · Answer

Just say you’d rather be friends.

marfaret · Answer

stare at him/her badly ^_____^

Vickie06 · Answer

Tell him he’s not your type.

PeterLegg91 · Answer

Just tell him otherwise he'll think you like him

Godihateyou · Answer

"I don't find you attractive at all"

CubaPirate · Answer

Straight up tell em

Connie88 · Answer

Be up front.

How do you tell someone you don't find them attractive at all?

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