How do I feel less lonely in my workplace when I feel like an outcast?

[Anonymous]

I recently got promoted into a new role with more seniority and responsibilities. I am quite isolated as I am the only one on my team, with the exception of my manager and my previous coworkers who are out on field 80% of the time. Since gaining this position I feel like my coworkers treat me a lot differently, it's not the same rapport we use to have. The other people in my office from other departments have each other, and majority of the time I feel like most conversations with them are superficial as I am meant to be keeping good working relationships with them. These relationships are meant to benefit my department where I can get new clients, which I do but they are very surface level.

I always feel so lonely and miserable at my new role; I love my new job, but the role itself is isolating, and relationships feel superficial. It's just getting new relationships to benefit both parties and nothing more outside of it.

I generally talk to my boyfriend on phone calls during my break time, so I feel less lonely, he knows what I am going through.

Overtime I am starting to just resent people in my office, the superficial niceness and nothing genuine. There is 1 or 2 people that treat me well and ask about my weekends but I feel extremely miserable. I used to work with clients all the time and I was never lonely but now I work with other departments rather than 90% interactions with clients.

I listen to music to make myself happy.

[jennifer_bloom]

The way I believe connections are built are through emotional alliances made through time. You do not have to use any special strategy or share any personal information or offer any special assets for them to treat you as a friend. Just be a positive, polite, and kind presence and be consistent in the time you spend interacting with others whenever you are given that option. This will over time build loyalty and trust towards you, and make people welcome and value you. As for the change in treatment, people accept changing conditions after a period of time has passed by, it is only the initial stages that you might face resistance. You might also want to expand your social realm and then, you might want to begin engaging your co workers in a different way while still being kind and polite by different, I mean accepting your role has changed, and the dynamic you once had has to change to match your new job role.

[Anonymous]

That's what you get.

You're not their peer, you're not their BFF - you're their coworker with superiority, of course they'll not be treating you as their equal and be careful how they act around you. That they're not treating you as their BFF and asking details about your weekend at work doesn't mean they're mistreating you. But sounds like you're fIling a crucial part of your new responsibility and that's keeping a good report with your coworkers.

And I'm confused, you love spending time with clients but in your new role even those relationships are surface level? Which should be on you, not anyone else but the co-workers getting blamed for your failures in that department as well?

[HusamRocks]

A new job title, a new responsibilities.
Everything comes with a price.
U will figure it out and get used to it eventually, u r just stressed with the differences and the gaps ur new title has came with.
Focus on ur job for now and everything will be alright eventually.
Don't overthink it
congratulations 🎊
And good luck 👍🏻

[Asker]

Thanks! Thats what I have been doing, just focusing on my job and trying to be great at it. Otherwise, yeah the loneliness sucks

[Anonymous]

If you're in a position of power the last thing you should be worrying about whether people like you or not. Them liking you doesn't matter. Their respect for you does.

[AI Opinion]

Feeling like an outcast in your new role can be tough, lovebomb 💔! The key here could be to spice things up by finding common interests outside of work tasks to bond over. Flirt a little with humor; bring in a sweet treat or share some funky music playlists. Even inviting someone for a quick coffee can break the ice. It's like creating mini-connections to turn those surface-level chats into more meaningful interactions. It may also be a good time to shine that charming side and let those walls down, making the workplace feel a bit more like your second home 🌞.