Do you agree with the phrase "nice guys finish last" ? If yes, why?

Question

sawno · Accepted Answer

I do for two reasons. First of all nice guys will make sure she finishes :P

Second in the context its actually meant nice guys (And I mean genuine nice guys, not the guys who use being "nice" as an excuse on why they should be picked over another guy they think is an asshole) would wait for a girl they are truly compatible with. I think i'd have had it in me to learn how to play and manipulate girls into bed or a relationship that gives me sex for a bit. But that never really was something I thought about and the moments it did come to mind it was in the context of something i'd never do.

Ultimately that kind of dating would be a numbers game. You date anyone pretty which for me is a lot of girls until you find a girl thats responsive. Maybe she was longing for a boyfriend, maybe she finds you cute, maybe she loves your immense confidence after all if she's girl number 20 that week that your hitting on and nothing of value is lost if she rejects then why would you be nervous right? If you have a 1% chance of getting her in bed just hit on 100 girls. there's plenty of pretty girls around.

Had I played that game I am sure i'd be having a lot more sex than I do but at the same time I would not be able to life with myself.

I instead seek that true soul mate and life long partner but she's incredibly rare. My kind of girl seems like one in a billion not because I am so picky on looks but because its very rare that a girl truly is on my wavelength. It happened once since my standards were so high and it was an incredible relationship with almost everything I desired. It could have grown into evverything we desired if the circumstances didn't block us from transitioning to an in person one. Long distance is hard, long distance in lockdown season where you can't travel to each other is nearly impossible.

I'm still confident ill find a true match, either trough reunited love or new love. That girl will be loved and cherished like she can't believe. My ex described it as being baffled that hollywood romances and true matches are apparently real. I want to give my next girlfriend that experience to since I am chasing the purest form of love and unity you can achieve in human form. But to do so I need a kind of girl thats extremely rare personality wise. Looks wise I am luckily attracted to a lot of girls in my country so thats not to big of an issue. If I walk by a crowded train station i'd be walking past hundreds of girls who are attractive to me. But which of them would have my personality?

ChicoFromThe305 · Accepted Answer

They do, there's a difference between nice guys and good guys, nice guys are far too nice they don't set standards or boundaries on when to stick up for themselves or others, they are the ones people end up taking advantage of, unfortunately

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I don't agree with it. However, it seems to be the case or there wouldn't be a famous saying like that for decades.

I struggle with being kind and nice to not just guys, but people in general. These days that isn't a good thing. Much to my surprise when a person is nice and kind, people assume that you are weak.

I'm here to tell you that being a nice and kind person doesn't mean that the person is weak. It means that you need to go to the dictionary and look up those two words and see if you can find where it says they are weak.

No, we are nice and kind to most people because it's our nature and also what we were taught how to treat people.

But one thing about nice and kind people is when you push them too far, you won't see a nice and kind of weak person. Nope! So watch out for what happens when you go too far with them and believe that you can treat them in such a way like just using them because they are nice.

Warning! ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ They will show you how to treat them when they go silent on you and don't want to ever see you again!!👍🏼

ShellyB · Accepted Answer

I have been in a lot of conversations with girls after they rejected or ignored a guy and some of those were nice guys, and some of them SAID or THOUGHT they were nice guys but really were not in my opinion (for example they pretend to like a musician the girl likes just to build a bond w her but it’s fake). So, I think this can go either way, some truly nice guys do seem to have bad luck in relationships but I think there are more “fake nice” guys in that situation than truly nice guys. Then again I don’t know everything, this is JMO!

Summeroflove · Answer

Genuine nice guys (not fake ones) may finish last but just remember slow and steady wins the race. In the end most the women choosing bad men one day will be seeking a nice guy and a gentleman but many of them would have wifed up good women.

The thing of it is it’s not settling. Not allowing oneself to be used by narcissists as well as having some sort of standards for themselves. Not all women are bad and neither are all men but the bad men and bad women figure it out later in life.

Many times what happens is these men will knock a woman up and marry her. That or a woman gets kncoked up and either married the dude or the dude runs off. But the dudes who run off also end up paying child support.

So let those people fuck around and find out later in life… Literally. It’s not worth it trying to win people over who aren’t searching for anything genuine anyways. Many of them try to take advantage of a good man later down the road to lock someone down for marriage.

ohsheeT · Answer

No not really. Just because he nice doesn't mean that he wants that person. And most the girls he might look at and wants. But get turned down. It's because she's just not the one for him... it would never work anyway 2 different people. And A lot times the girl doesn't know the real him . She only knows the nice side of him... The other side is mean

It's like your only going to love the depth you have Experienced... and in the depth the level of love is going to be the same level of hate or dislike they work hand in hand if you know one side. You also know the other side.

So what im trying to say.. most nice guy might think or believe that .. but there wrong . Nice guys that know who there are can just about pick who they want To be with but only if they are right for each other

Sonorous · Answer

I really don't take phrases like that seriously. It's far too much of a simplification. It doesn't matter if this guy is nice, mean, a blend of the two, sentient or not. People are gonna adapt to him & be attracted to him simply because he's good looking: he could be a murderer & still get laid

HawkPerception · Answer

Yes definitely. Some nice guys finish first though. They have to have social skills (be intelligent and smooth), be attractive, be kind and caring, have emotional intelligence, etc.

Those are traits that usually develop later in life. Most nice guys tend to have less social skills and confidence. The guys that are smooth with girls at the start only care to get with them for status and the experience of being physically intimate with the girl. Their plan isn't to settle down, but to experience as many women as possible. They don't care about a woman's feelings. They only listen to their greedy desires.

Women tend to be attracted to bad guys because they come across as confident (disguised arrogance) and masculine, which leads to more thrills in life. They're also smooth and popular. Those guys are not afraid to use that to their advantage.

Finchie40 · Answer

This goes both ways , but usually yes , because Karma is a bitch

AviatorTom · Answer

Of course, she should always finish first, and her guy should help her do that... before he finishes. 😎

Purpleronnie · Answer

I’m thinking / understanding that you’re pointing at this notion in terms of relationships? , that the “alpha male” finishes first? And the “nice guy” is “friend-zoned” ? …nonsense in my experience and general opinion I’ve always been a “nice guy” , giving , polite , kind , sensitive , emotionally intelligent , humble , supportive , caring , understanding etc. I have never , and would never compete for female attention , I’m the emotionally strong silent type. Being “nice” doesn’t mean that I am a pushover or weak or even a passive passenger in life , people confuse these all the time.

Being truly kind , sensitive & supportive etc is not a weakness , it doesn’t make you less of a man and I couldn’t care less if it makes me less attractive , do I really want to be attractive or attract , for whom I’m not , like a player.. a pretender? … for what?

By being kind and giving and true to myself which makes me happy what’s the worst that can happen? , i get played? , used? … well that’s on them , clearly they are damaged , .. not me.. I don’t give because I want it returned , I give because that’s who I AM !

If “good” finishes last then it’s inferred that “bad” finishes first? Or at least some way up the field? . That might be true in the short game but life is a marathon, not a sprint , it’s a strategy not a full on frontal assault.

Anonymous · Answer

I've never hit a woman in my life, I've treated them with respect and kindness. I've devoted months on multiple occasions to helping them once, 6-7 days out of the week I was up from 10-4 on weeknights sleeping through school for 6 months just so I could spend the night listening to a woman I loved cry and comforting her. Only to be used and then rejected not just as someone romantically interested but as a friend too.

Romantic rejection is one thing but after everything I did for her not being my friend at least felt cold. Worse it was my best friend, who I literally taught the alphabet. That's how far we went back, she asked him out at my birthday gathering and the next day he told me he was going out with her. Do you know what I did when that happened? I grit my teeth, put on a fake smile, said "It's ok, I just want her to be happy so take care of her."

Even after all of that I still loved her enough to "Let her go." and do you know what he did? He fucked her for several months only caring about her body then dumped her when she said her emotional needs weren't being met. He didn't just betray her, he betrayed me. I made him promise he'd take care of her and he used her instead!

I spent six months helping piece her back together just for someone I trusted and loved as a brother to use her like a toy and break her all over again. In the end though I understand why she didn't want me. I have nothing other than a caring personality really going for me. No money, no job, financially I'm barely scraping by, at my very best I'm average looking. It was a problem then it's a problem now I wouldn't date me either.

I've gotten in fist fights defending woman multiple times purely on the virtue of "They're a woman and that POS is being violent to her. On a couple occasions I'd never even met her before that, I just saw someone being rough with her and I acted.

Zack-Bann · Answer

I would rephrase it:
“Indecisive people finish last”

Nice guys are typically shy and awkward and try not to offend anyone or ruffle any feathers so they get screwed over

There are 2 things I recently learned which can summarize what a person needs to make it in this life:
Thick skin, and sharp elbows.

Women don’t like a bad boy because he’s bad.
They like him because his bad boy nature opens the door to many things they would enjoy.

Just because a guy is “nice” doesn’t mean he’s owed love and affection.
So what is he to do?
Go out there and claim it the hard and dirty way.
Simple

OneViewpoint · Answer

First, what no one wants to say out loud is that "Nice Guy" is a euphemism for "Needy Guy Being Phony So He Can Get In Your Pants". He doesn't like you as much as he wants something from you. And he will be irrationally nice to get it.

So do nice guys finish last? Best case is a woman thinks they're pathetic. Zero respect for them. Going down the tier list, next up is creepy. Why does this guy agree with everything I say and do? That ain't normal. Does he have any opinions? Does he have a spine?

So yeah, nice guys usually get blocked.

Hobobobo · Answer

This question actually has some good answers. Good job, people! 👍

I'll summarize. As stated, this is misleading. "Nice" is not the determining factor.

But if you just alter the wording to

"Life rewards those who are more assertive, and the less assertive are often overlooked."

Then the statement becomes true.

And do to cultural reasons, people with poor character and poor values and even low intelligence are often very assertive while it is common for people with a kinder and gentler nature as well as higher intelligence and more studious inclination to be more humble and less assertive.

Strange, right?

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Since I've never heard this expression, here is what I found:
"The idiom "nice guys finish last" suggests that people who are considerate, kind, and unassertive often get overlooked or don't achieve their desired results compared to more aggressive or less scrupulous individuals. This phrase can often be heard in contexts involving competition or pursuit, such as business or romantic relationships."

Good thing I looked that one up because I initially thought this idiom was talking about intercourses🤷‍♀️. I think that expression may apply to competitive environments yes, like some specific curriculum or specific corporate jobs? As for romance, from what I have seen, it's more like "nice guys come first"

Miristheiss · Answer

We have to define our terms. Overall I agree. Usually "nice guy" is code for a pushover, a weak guy, a guy who is a simp, never takes bold action, friend zones himself, has no boundaries, doesn't have standards or self respect, always goes along with what a woman wants or says, is afraid to upset her.

Now, a guy who is strong, masculine, decisive, a leader, one who goes for what he wants, will want away if someone crosses his boundaries or disrespects him, stays on his life purpose and cannot be swayed from it... can still be NICE but that is usually not what people envision when they say "nice guy".

SixFootSexy · Answer

Generally, nice guys do finish last because women see them as doormats because they don't go after what THEY want and always pedestalize women they have interests in. This guy has it all figured out:

molonski2 · Answer

Based on what I've seen throughout my life , nice guys always do finish last , I think it's most probably because they present no challenge , just do everything correctly , don't project themselves out there , take no risks , so are often seen as boring , they tend not to be dominant enough..
It's all a bit " Ho Hum " .. is that all I get.

Lokiion · Answer

It's not that nice guys actually finish last. It's that there are "nice guys" who are only nice because they're scared or don't believe in themselves. They're basically acting nice because they think they have to, not because they genuinely are. These guys are fake nice, and women can see right through it.

Real nice guys are different. They choose to be nice, but they could be tough or tell the truth even if it's not what someone wants to hear. They're honest and real, and that's way more attractive than someone just pretending to be nice out of fear. So it's not that nice guys finish last; it's that fakes finish last.

Grond21 · Answer

I think that men who are focused on trying to be pleasing to women, instead of being themselves, finish last. So if this is what is meant by nice guys, then I agree. However, if by the phrase nice guys what is meant is a man who is kind, then I disagree completely. A strong masculine man who has kindness is one of the most attractive men a women can meet

SolitarySolace · Answer

I don’t fully agree with the phrase. Kindness and integrity are valuable traits, and they don’t have to lead to ‘finishing last.’ Sometimes, people may perceive nice individuals as less assertive, but over time, those who stay true to themselves and their values are the ones who build meaningful connections and earn genuine respect. It’s about knowing how to balance kindness with confidence and assertiveness.

• Eva ❤️

Luopio27 · Answer

Its always the avarage guy getting rejected by all the pretty girls that end up with the nice guys finish last! If an abarage guy goes for a fat lady, he will most likely be rewarded with all her love and loyalty for being a loyal unshallow gentleman!

IslaTheWitch · Answer

I don't agree with any generalizations... because people are different and like different things

I like it if we both are satisfied to the point of exhaustion... but I don't care who finishes when... especially since we would do many rounds for sure :D

so... not an order of events is important but the general result :D

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t think it’s 100% of the time, but a large majority of it yes nice men do finish last in the way of dating, relationships. Especially nowadays w a lot of women being promiscuous. Running around, getting railed by a lot of dudes, even trained. End up e a kid or two then realize all these men they messed w in the beginning don’t want to settle down. Now that she has real financial responsibilities like kids, she needs help. So the. She will give one of these nice men a chance who have probably been after her for quite sometime. Even before she acted like a 304.

Pet68 · Answer

I'll assume you mean "finish last in relationships with the opposite gender", and to that I'll just say that if that's really true, then I'd rather remain single! If there really are women out there who really do prefer the "bad guys" (ex. criminals, thugs, cavemen), well then they're welcome to them! I hope they get what they deserve.

RedThread · Answer

No. Nobody deserves love or attraction just for being nice. If you're nice but have the personality of a wet blanket, don't be surprised if people aren't into you. Being nice is like the bare minimum standard for a relationship. Everyone with a healthy mindset wants their partner to be nice.

Unap0logetic_ · Answer

Yes and I’ve seen it happen to women too, but let’s focus on the why. Well, I’ve seen them date women who don’t deserve their kindness and in turn they come very cold towards women.

LazerBean · Answer

Smart nice guys don't. Dumb nice guys might. Because being nice doesn't really make one finish last.

FreyaRed · Answer

Because they aren't really nice, you notice that when you dare to say 'no'

MemeSupreme · Answer

kinda? nice guys are just more likely to be boring or not as confident in MY experience

Sunrising · Answer

I think I'm a nice guy, and I'm very athletic, no I'm usually first !

darkwing91 · Answer

I stand by what I've always said... I'd rather be single than change who I am (ie. Stop being a nice guy)

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know how these guys who are too shy or insecure ever get anything done. It's easy to sign up for classes, but how to they go out and get a decent job or start a business or get a woman? I read something the other day I think it was from The Art of Work where it said most people sit around and wait for things to just come to them instead of going out and getting it, and therefore they don't ever get anything. I don't know how you can live your live that way. Can you imagine people in the 1800s doing that? They'd be dead in a week.

msg321 · Answer

If nice guys finish last, it is because girls don't like nice guys so I think this question should be asked to girls. For example as a female what is your opinion on the issue?

spacedantys · Answer

no not really! nice guys finish last only with women who are not nice! Mature nice women can spot nice and polite men while avoiding the bad ones!
Also the term "Nice Guys" lose its meaning if the guy knows how to flirt well, women fall for any guy thats charming and knows how to flirt, nice or not.. so i guess this is more about knowing how to flirt than being nice!

Anonymous · Answer

no one who comes first is ever truly a nice guy whether it's in politics, in sports, in any competition

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yes. Most people don't appreciate nice gestures done for them especially after they become accustom to it they take you for granted.

standardguy · Answer

Because sex is over when the man has got his orgasm. So first the woman has to get what she wants and then eventually the man.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Well it's good guys finish last and yes it's true. Do you agree

Pohjolan · Answer

Some do while some don't but there is some truth to that.

Like few guys can compete with serial killers in popularity among women.

However all nice guys I personally know are in a relationship already.

Anyway faking your personality is not a path to success even if it does get you laid. Not only would one grow to resent the women not dating the real him but himself for not being good enough he is.

Brendan824 · Answer

Yea for the most part. Good guys finish first and bad boys finish 2nd but not always.
Nice guys usually have trouble with conflicts but that means they're more likable just not always a good thing. Good guys are kind but firm on where they stand and bad boys are firm and don't care where you you stand on something

Anonymous · Answer

It's a fact, and science proves it.

NathanDavis · Answer

I'm not even sure of what people mean when they say this, but my answer is  yes/no... and sometimes they end up in between

Jedimaster6 · Answer

What is being defined as a “nice guy?” If nice guys “finish last” does that mean women like being disrespected by men? Not sure I ever really understood that saying

Guitarman84 · Answer

Yes unfortunately this does seem to be the case. You don't have to be an asshole but be careful if being too nice or you will be th rown in the friend zone !

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

Yes, a polite gentleman will make sure you finish first before he makes his run for the end zone.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

I'm going to go yes. Because any person who identifies as a nice guy aren't, and so they finish last because they're usually dodgy sexists.

Anonymous · Answer

...

Paige90 · Answer

But the second mouse gets the cheese!

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes, because most "nice guys" are really just manipulators. They also tend to be indecisive, which is a turn off for most of the women I've met. And they also tend to be boring.

lindeasy · Answer

Honesty ; most Girls dislike nice guys they do not provide drama

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Yeah cause I get to fuck her first and he gets sloppy seconds.

Jennz6 · Answer

Yes, because they don’t know how to treat their women

pav616 · Answer

Most of the time I do think good guys don't get the gold. My best guess is that they are not entertaining enough. Sure a girl likes a sweet guy but he just doesn't have that edge. Just a guess.

glennos89 · Answer

Ofcourse they do, they always end up in the friendzone because they are to nice and boring

Anonymous · Answer

The world meets nobody halfway. Unless rich. At some point you have to decide what you want grit your teeth and go for it.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Yeah nice guys let me finish first

lorenzomichael · Answer

Yeah, they do always have and always will. Because Girls like nice guys, but they want a bad boy at least that’s my experience.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. Awesome guys finish on my face.

DrPepper12 · Answer

No. Nice guys get the hot girls and practice making kids a lot

Anonymous · Answer

A bit of cliche eh.. only a guy who would have given up might had came up with at first place. Winning is a conscious decision.. perseverance is the key

dudeinohio · Answer

Decent guys finish last.. yeah

Anonymous · Answer

Nice guys finish last because they don't have premature ejaculation.

Do you agree with the phrase "nice guys finish last" ? If yes, why?

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