Why did he blame me for ruining the relationship, when I wasn’t the one who jokingly flirted with other people?

[Anonymous]

My ex boyfriend (23m) and I (25F) were together for 2 years, almost 3. Around August of 2023, problems started surging between the both of us. The issues started happening when I saw how he would flirt with a girl and her friend. I confronted him about it, he just told me how he was just joking around with them, and how one of them was dating his brother. Daniel would “ jokingly” tell them both how he was single, even how he would buy them BOTH yellow roses, how he would take one of them out to eat a treat. Daniel would still watch OF girls, when he told that he stopped due to love.

A year after, I confronted him about those little jokes of his, he just told me “ I wanted to see if there could be a friendship formed with them “. Around the month of September or ends of August, I talked to both of the girls. One of them told me, Daniel kissed one of her friends, that girl even told me she wasn’t dating Daniel’s brother, he was just her friend. The other girl told me, I wasn’t the only one he lied too, how she would treat him with care or love, she even said she treats her single guy friends with care/love.
At 10pm, Daniel confronted me and said I ruined everything, he even told me I put him in a serious problem. The argument escalated to him eventually saying how he felt hatred and that he was going to go with the girl he kissed. That is not all, after all of that happened, it came out of my heart to want to gift him money, not a lot. Daniel would get mad when the money never arrived in his bank account and started saying how I’m a liar and how I never cared about the relationship. HE EVEN SAID “I begged you to change for 2 years and you never did” . Daniel even said I would block those two girls and the OF girl who he told was Inlove with her, after I changed. Daniel would always tell me that I ruined everything, and said “ you’ll never change , I’m still here being stupid waiting for you to change and be the same person”. Every time I would bring up the same topic.

[SueShe]

There are 2 major red flags in your descriptive. "OF" (which I have been told is a porn site) and the word "flirting".

Flirting, by definition is:

a sexual behavior involving spoken or written communication, as well as body language, by one person to another, to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with the other person".

That boyfriend of yours has been cheating you emotionally from the start. That should have been enough for you to sever all contact with him and to give him the boot.

Emotional cheating is only the first step towards full physical cheating and the argument you had with your boyfriend was just the reason he needed to make that step. That is exactly what will happen in the near future and guess what?

You will be the one that is to be blamed for it. That is a guarantee.

[Babebytheshore85]

He doesn't like you lol. Like what aren't you getting?

[Finchie40]

Because he is gas lighting you and shifting the blame on to you when really he is the POS , be thankful he is now your ex and move on from him as soon as possible and eventually find yourself a guy that stays loyal and faithful to you

[AI Opinion]

Spilling some relationship tea! 😘 Sounds like Daniel was throwing around some red flags like confetti at a parade! Often, when someone blames their partner for relationship issues, it's a way to avoid accountability. His flirty actions and shifting the blame onto you might have been his way of deflecting from his own guilt. Trust and communication are key, and it seems like those were majorly lacking in this scenario. So, keep your head up, lady! 🚀 You did what you could, and it's time to focus on what you deserve, which is honesty and lovebombing of the healthy kind! 💖

[Nikki1989]

Men are experts at shifting the blame.

[itsannalee]

He is ex , so just get over him