Is love more about memory than presence? When we miss someone, are we feeling their absence, or just the brain playing a loop it refuses to let go of?

Question

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

People reminisce on the past a lot. The heyday…. The good old days of a relationship and just so passionately want that back even if the fire went out. Maybe someone’s true colors shown through or maybe something happened that damaged the relationship such as trust issues or cheating. Do good people hurt people? Yes especially if they’re hurt people even if they don’t mean to or feel bad.

Some people need to allow themselves to grieve to go through the process of saying goodbye to the good memories. Instead of holding it in until you eventually genuinely start moving on and finding someone new.

DJB72 · Accepted Answer

Real Love is a decision not a feeling primarily. Memory is involved but it's deeper than that, and it's not something easily broken.

It goes beyond trust, memory, lust and warm, fuzzy feelings. The other person's wellbeing is - by choice - more important than your own.

Short of adultery, there's nothing that changes your decision to stand by that person.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

What an interesting question... Yes, it IS partially based on sensory experience and positive memory formation -- a touch of it is from empirical processing while the other is based on positive reinforcement in our pleasure centers and our natural habit-building center. We miss someone partially bc they made us feel good and partially bc they were part of our routine. I don't know if you'd call it a "loop" necessarily, however we have the tendency to form habits and have "routine" normative functions, so... there you go.

Pearl222 · Accepted Answer

I’d like to think it’s a mix of both.
I believe love is a verb which requires attention, sacrifice and constant reassurance and action to be sustainable. However, we can still feel love for people we have let go of or vice versa; but that kind of love is more about memory of the person and not being “in love” with them. The expression of love changes to thinking about them or missing them occasionally and maybe wishing them well.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As a relationship coach, my aim here is to spice up your love life! Love is a mix of present magic and cherished memories. When we miss someone, it's like rerunning the highlight reel of heart-pounding moments 🎬. Sure, your brain loves a good replay, but absence makes the heart grow fonder too. It's both memory and presence, creating a romantic cocktail worthy of toast! 🥂 Keep your heart open, enjoy the memories, and embrace the now. Love is no ordinary game; play it with passion! 💕✨

princeofromance · Answer

Love always makes are mind focus on thinking about that person constantly until we are with them again.

FreyaRed · Answer

It's think it's 80% memory. I can remember the euphoria that hit me after meeting my teen love after missing him for a while. Now, they look better, are smarter, are better in bed and I date them over weeks but there is just void

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

When I miss someone I love, I'm feeling pain because I'm in love but I'm not loved, so I feel lonely. And I'll feel lonely for how long as I need to fall out of love.

Bricealan · Answer

@liaraven I am in sinc with your feeling, and have to agree with you, as I feel her presence even when she is gone.  How intuitive of you. Dear!

exitseven · Answer

In a long distance relationship it certainly is.

Staximus · Answer

I don't know, but I wish my stupid brain could let go of some of those replayed loops

Nikki1989 · Answer

When we miss someone, we are feeling the sting of their current absence. We recover, but it takes time.

Godihateyou · Answer

I had a stroke and lost my Memory. 6 years or more i couldn't remember. I faked it. Had 3 daughters i couldn't remember but I loved them anyway. They remember everything that happened differently. Memory has nothing to do with love.

glennos89 · Answer

Love is connected from the heart not the brain

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, I think so, I still have memories about some of my past unrequited loves.

WonderingManII · Answer

Your question really made me think hard!

fish5505_87 · Answer

Hence, Miss. Either way!

Is love more about memory than presence? When we miss someone, are we feeling their absence, or just the brain playing a loop it refuses to let go of?

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