He says he wants casual but wants all access, isn’t casual hit you up here and so for sex?

[Girlinthiscrazyworld]

So I (F/26) was talking to this guy (M/23) and we met on a dating app. I matched with him and eventually we text. He tells me he’s looking for casual. He asks me if I knew what ‘casual’ meant and I said basically sex. He said yeah and then he gives me his # and we text. We’ve texted nearly everyday for a couple months, we met a good amount of times but I am trying to treat it as casual. So I’m not texting as much or I’m pulling back from texting but when I do that he starts to double or triple text. He would check on me. Whatever. But I feel like if it’s casual, I don’t have to text back all the time. Anyways, I don’t keep the text going for day but I eventually pop in and tell him that I would like to have sex. His texting changes but then he calls and we meet up. We don’t text for a day but he texts saying he likes having sex with me. I text him confirming I like it too. He doesn’t text back. It’s been almost a week but I made it clear that I like having sex with him. I’m confused bc he said he wanted ‘casual’ as in having sex. I keep it purely that. Mind you we both have other options but if it’s casual sex then we can have sex with whoever. I don’t know I’m confused. It seems like he’s not being honest with what he wants. Also we first met in late September.

[Nikki1989]

Text, text, text, text, text and more texts!

What the ducking duck!

[egan3141]

Are his texts trying to get to know you, or trying to arrange more sex? Hard to help when we don't know what the topic of the texts.

[Girlinthiscrazyworld]

Yeah his texts are usually the same ole how’s your day and what are you up to, basically relationship stuff.

[egan3141]

That's not really relationship stuff... That could easily be "is she in a good mood? is today a good day to ask for sex?" Relationship stuff is getting to know what you like and dislike...

[Girlinthiscrazyworld]

Well yeah but I was trying to not text as much and pull away because he wanted to text all day everyday and to me if it’s casual then I don’t feel like I have to do that. I started being more direct with “hey I want to f you now” y’know

[egan3141]

Instead of trying to understand what has happened, here's my advice: If you haven't already, next time he texts a bunch just say something like "not to be rude, but I just want sex. Chatting for the sake of chatting is annoying to me." His possible responses are some form of acceptance, which gets you what you want, some form of explanation, which gets you an answer as to why he's doing this, or he ignores what you said and keeps doing it anyway, in which case he could just be lonely but also not care what you think about his way of feeling less lonely

[Girlinthiscrazyworld]

Thanks for your answer. I mean he stopped texting me and it’s been a week since we last spoke. We spoke about sex and now he stops texting. I don’t know it’s weird to me.

[egan3141]

Did you also stop texting him? If so, maybe he finally got the "hints"?

[Girlinthiscrazyworld]

Yeah there were times where I didn’t text him back or times where I went days without texting but I guess I didn’t think it was a big deal if it’s casual but I don't know

[egan3141]

I have no idea how common this is, but at least for me, it bugs when people take days to respond to a text and drives me nuts when they don't respond to a text minutes after they just sent one. When I interact with such people, I stop giving a damn about replying to them. I make sure to read it in case I care about the topic it, but if it doesn't give me extra interest, I make it a point to ignore it in the moment and only come back to it when I happen to remember

[Girlinthiscrazyworld]

Oh so you think it might be that he lost interest because of the texting?

[egan3141]

I'm saying it is possible that he stopped doing what supposedly annoyed you because the actions you took annoyed him. He could still want casual sex, supposing you haven't sent a text since then asking for it, and that's what he ignored.

[slatyb]

What do you want?

[Girlinthiscrazyworld]

Originally I told him that I wanted to be friends or I’m looking for people do stuff with. Nothing serious for me