If you changed everything about yourself to keep someone, and they stayed… would they still be loving you?

[coachTanthony]

YES

NOPE

[Keyboardkat]

First, nobody changes for someone else. A person only changes when they themselves are motivated to do so by an inner need. If you only change for someone else, you won't be able to keep it up long term because it didn't come from within you. It's not the authentic you. And eventually your "partner" will see that. I know if you are really head over heels in love with someone and you can't bear to lose them, it's tempting to try this. But why won't they accept you as you really are? You're better of with someone who acceots and loves the real you , as you really are.

[OneViewpoint]

Forget about that other person. Would you still recognize yourself? Would you be happy with yourself? Or would you be miserable pretending to be something you're not and resenting the person who demanded that you change to please them?

[Simslover92]

Change is necessary when you have things about you that suck. I would change myself in a heartbeat if it meant I would get my ex back and I actually have been making an effort to change my ways because they weren't good while we were together. So I'm all for it if it means changing yourself for the better.

[ElenaSeluna]

The question here is will I be happy? Of course not, because I’ll be pretending all the time and that’s not good.. will they stay or not? It depends on their personality, but it won’t end well for sure

[ohsheeT]

Bring it to a certain age , and we are who we are , we like who we are , and if we have to change for somebody , then we are also changing ourselves , and we're not going to like ourselves. If you can't be who you are, and if you can't understand the person that you're with and really\n Look how petty something might be. It's not worth it to even be in a relationship and not be happy. If you're not happy , the other person is not going to be happy

[OlderAndWiser]

If i change myself to make someone else happy, I’ll eventually resent that and start taking it out on them. Unworkable!

[Chazmatazz269]

Nope, that’s called codependency and it’s all but universally recognized as a dysfunction.

[Bárbara1402]

Have you changed because you felt the need to do it or did you just grow? Sometimes people grow and change gradually. Your interests change, your perspectives about things and that’s not necessarily bad. If the changes made improved you as an individual you should look at them as a blessing and be grateful to have someone by your side that stuck around to see the process and said that you’re still the one. Maybe the other person also grew and learned to appreciate those things you changed or maybe they always liked them just never realized it

[FunkyMonkee]

The question is, would YOU still be loving you?
If she can't love you for the way you are or if he can't love you for the way you are, and vice versa, chances are, the relationship's not gonna work!!
Changing yourself to be what they want is not conducive to having a good, lasting relationship.

[coachTanthony]

some are desperate

[FunkyMonkee]

True! But, I'd think that, eventually, they'd figure out that changing themselves just to suit someone else they want is not the way to go about it!

[coachTanthony]

You would hope

[Anonymous]

Depends, did that partner help you change into a better person or into someone you don't like? If it's the latter, then you are just going to end up resenting that person and start feeling disconnected with yourself, and that can lead to mental health problems.

[PeachyPie93]

No.. I did change for someone I liked once but realized he didn't actually like me because I didn't like who I became and had to be around him.

[Tiptoetamm]

If you have to change to be with someone then they don’t love you. The love the idea of you then tries to change you to make you more appealing to them. That’s not real

[queenofcardio]

No, they wouldn't love me because I wouldn't be loving myself.

[Unycorn]

One day your mask will fall. You cannot completely change with all your heart.

[MrChinaski]

Growing together ✅

Squeezing yourself into a heart-shaped box ❌

[AngryCarl3]

Is my partner unhappy with me? If she is I don't need to change, I need a different partner.

[Likes2drive]

No , I’m always myself and people like that about me

[NathanDavis]

nope... that ain't love in the first place

[LC75LC71]

I wouldn't be myself anymore so forget it.

[Cidknee]

It would then be growing with one another. 😏

[Cidknee]

Yes.

[fish5505_87]

yet they stayed?