Boyfriend Keeps Crossing A Boundary But Im Too Scared To Talk To Him, What do I do?

Question

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

I don’t know what boundary it is. But you’re not only not doing yourself a favor you’re not doing him favors. If he’s abusive and will take extreme offense just call the relationship off.

Otherwise, you’re going to build resentment and he isn’t going to know what he even did so wrong. It’s not a boundary if you never set it unless it’s something common sense. But there isn’t a lot of context.

Healthy relationships use communication I personally want someone to communicate with me if I’m doing something that upsets someone. There may be situations where…. It’s a dealbreaker. But at the end of the day neither of us will waste the others time. But that’s a extreme case

Master_Debator · Accepted Answer

Some boundaries just have to be crossed. My woman doesn't like me shoving things in her butt crack... but I just have to do it. Remotes, cell phones, food items,... I mean it's really fucking funny to see a chick walking around with a chicken wing sticking out of her butt crack. It makes the kids laugh, I laugh, the homeless people on the side of the street laugh.

You might not like it, but you'd laugh... just admit it.

She could just wear pants that don't have the "coin slot" as it's called, but she just has to. And you know what I have to do.

Boyfriend Keeps Crossing A Boundary But Im Too Scared To Talk To Him, What do I do?

SueShe · Accepted Answer

Without communicating, nothing will happen and he will continue to cross that boundary. What is the reason for your fear to talk to him and make your point known to him? Is he violent? Does he beat you up? Does he menace you? Are you afraid he will leave you if you talk to him?

If none of those apply, then you should not be afraid to voice your concern. If you don't then you will never clear that problem and you will permanently live either in fear and that is not the base of a healthy relationship.

Your best bet is to leave him and to find someone that respects you and your boundaries. Good luck.

rosemilk · Accepted Answer

why are you too scared to talk to your boyfriend? communication is what makes relationships work. compromise and boundary setting is also needed. if you can't do these 3 things... your relationship will fail.

let him know. asap. just straight up. straight to the point. or else you will keep getting walked on.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy heart stuff and spot red flags before they wreck you.

If he keeps crossing a boundary after you’ve clearly said no, that’s not “love,” that’s disrespect. Decide your boundary, say it calmly but firmly: “This is non‑negotiable for me.” If he minimizes, blames you, or keeps doing it, that’s a huge red flag.

You’re not “too much”; he’s giving too little. Your fear of talking is valid, but ignoring this will only hurt more later. If you feel unsafe, involve someone you trust and seriously consider leaving. Respect is the bare minimum, not a luxury.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

The answer absolutely depends on what specific boundary concerns you, how long it has been happening, and whether it is something where compromise might be a reasonable consideration. If you don't want to discuss it publicly, feel free to DM me.

ohsheeT · Answer

You can't be afraid of anything in a relationship

Your equal you have boundaries 2 and if you let him walk all over it he will always walk all over it it's not that big of a deal you need to communicate about it otherwise it's not going to work

AviatorTom · Answer

Why are you scared? Are you afraid he will physically hurt you? Or leave you?

If he is crossing boundaries, it's important that you tell him that.

If you are afraid of what he physically might do, bring a trusted friend along when you tell him.

If you're afraid he might leave you, well, that's not a good relationship. Maybe it's time to find a new guy

Jessica405 · Answer

Too scared to talk to him? You should not be with him. You are not right for each other

Finchie40 · Answer

You need to talk to him about it or he is just going to keep assuming what he is doing is ok

1WildBeatlejuice · Answer

Get rid of him no sense in torturing him if you don’t want to talk to him about anything is he putting food down the coin slot in your britches? 😂 what is this boundary he’s crossing? Touching you? Flirting with your sister? Going out to get the mail nekid? Getting into your stash of chocolates? Kind of would help to have a clue about what the boundary is that is being crossed but besides all of this if you’re not willing to communicate you probably should at least let him know this because without communication no relationship will hold together or work….. dogs work well with no communication they are the most stupid intelligent animal that can live I do believe

MissSunshine2 · Answer

Talk to him about it, Or break up with him. If you're scared to break up with him, as some men are pretty scary, find a women's refuge and plan your exit when he's away. Pack your most practical clothes and bring your bank cards, birth certificates, etc. Take any pets or children and a few special things and go.

BadApple69 · Answer

Talk to him. Honestly if you are scared to talk with him about important matters your relationship is doomed. You will just be a slave to whatever he wants because you are too scared to speak up. This is not his relationship. This relationship belongs to both of you. You both need to be equally comfortable in it.

CherryLove007 · Answer

Sorry about this... and some of the sorry advice too... therapy will get you started on your inability to face conflict with a man. We don't know how this man operates however a trained person or trusted confidant can help. How about going to a church if you are comfortable and speaking with a clergy member?

BCRanger10 · Answer

You should first look at what the boundary is, what he did that violated it, and why it bothers you. And also, have you talked with him about it already? Meaning did you tell him earlier on what the boundary is?

I think a good way to approach it might be to gently and calmly ask him why he does what he does. Then that would be a good occasion for you to explain your side of the story to him.

loveslongnails · Answer

If you're too scared of having a conversation about your boundaries being respected, then you need to get out of that relationship. Boundaries are foundational, and if he's not respecting yours and KNOWS about them, you're in a bad place. If he doesn't know about them because you haven't TOLD him, then you need to consider that personally, you're not ready to be in a relationship.

So which is it?

Anonymous · Answer

He's your boyfriend and you're afraid to talk to him? That's a problem in itself. If somebody CARES about you they want you to be happy. So there's no reason to be afraid to talk to them. So either your fears are unfounded and your projecting them on to him. Or you have good reason to be afraid. And if that be the case you need to face why that is.

jshm2 · Answer

You text him "it's over" and leave him.  He's only a boyfriend, not a husband. So if he gets mouthy, you call the police and get a restraining order.

Abbycado · Answer

If you’re that immature at the age of 27 yo not talk to him, I have no advice.

LiamJHayden · Answer

You have to get the courage to do so. One of two things is true: he does not know, or he does not care. If he does not know he needs to know. If he does not care, you need to end it and move on.

jazzy34 · Answer

Break up with him. You shouldn’t be scared to talk with your partner. Plus, if he keeps crossing boundaries, he doesn’t respect you.

queenofcardio · Answer

Then what’s the point of being with him if you’re scared to talk to him about an important issue? It’s time to reconsider your relationship.

molonski2 · Answer

What boundary? He is supposed to be your boyfriend?  Beating you up? Anal Sex?  What's the boundary?

Anonymous · Answer

@aspenreals A lot of negative Nancy's here 😋🤭

Hell : hopefully lady it's not too serious or serious, yet that's why I'm single 🙂🫡 yet I always cling to my idealistic views of what I want in a woman. So that's why I don't settle

Nikki1989 · Answer

You are 27. Get your life together.

whosnumber_1 · Answer

Then it's not truly a boundary. He will continue to do it until you enforce a true consequence. If you don't then you may as well roll over and give up.

slatyb · Answer

If you are afraid to talk to him, you need to end the relationship.

LC75LC71 · Answer

What boundary? I mean if you're too scared to say anything, then is it actually one or are you creating an issue out of thin air?

RingOfFire · Answer

Not enough information to give an informed response. Need to explain the details.

In_Trance · Answer

Break up.  If you aren't mature enough to have a conversation, you aren't mature enough to be in a relationship

Jackblue · Answer

Leave him, depending on which boundary he crossed report him to the police.

jahaims · Answer

You shouldn't be in a relationship if you can't hold boundaries.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

You have to get over your fear and talk to him or he's gonna keep doing it. Why are you afraid to talk to you own boyfriend

Pterodon · Answer

Don’t make boundaries you can not or will not enforce

foxsquirrell · Answer

What boundary? Scared of what? That he leaves you? Or that he beats you?

Malwi93 · Answer

what kind of boundary. need to know before ill answer further

CarolineWhizz · Answer

If you're too scared to talk to him, that's a red flag. Dump him and find someone who gives you more respect.

khyaab14 · Answer

Talk to him why are you afraid to talk to him? He’s your boyfriend

LeatherDame · Answer

Is he aware he’s crossing the boundary?

fantasticass · Answer

Get a new boyfriend. This one is toxic

bowenw · Answer

Try to be brave and talk to him about it.

MrChinaski · Answer

Stop having boundaries. Worked for me.

EveryDayIsPretzelDay · Answer

How serious is the boundary?

Iron_Man · Answer

What boundary

LiamS95 · Answer

Maintain your boundaries or they will mean nothing

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

DUMP DAT DUDE !!!

Anonymous · Answer

If you can't talk, then write him a letter.

robocop666 · Answer

talk to him about it

Agape93 · Answer

Leave him

Cidknee · Answer

Kick im in da' nuts!

Staximus · Answer

Leave him

Boyfriend Keeps Crossing A Boundary But Im Too Scared To Talk To Him, What do I do?

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