How do you share that you have an SO? Why are some guys so AWKWARD about it?

[DishLady]

Guys... some of you make me laugh the way you announce that you're "seeing someone" or have a girlfriend/SO.

If I'm seeing someone -- and yes, to me that is synonymous with "serious"/"exclusive"/"boyfriend" -- I just say it outright. I also don't look for random excuses to toss it into a salad like parmesan...

But guys are different. Here are a few examples:

• "I'm seeing someone rn." (Yeah, buddy, the online gal you watch every night isn't a girlfriend. If you're not interested in a gal, just say so. "I'm flattered, but I can't do this rn." So much better, no?)
• Slipping "My girlfriend's congregation is going on a trip to..." in the middle of a simple "what are you doing this weekend?" convo with someone who has been DESPERATELY SINGLE and declaring himself to be interested in another gal for months...
• Going on and on about a major family event and showing videos that indicate you're at the events alone but then saying, "my girlfriend thinks..." in the middle of showing the videos.
• Chasing a gal (an ex SO/crush) down while you're with your current spouse/SO just to introduce them.

In each case, the guy is clearly overthinking the interest of the woman he's talking to. If she wanted him she'd probably have indicated as much at some point. But guys can be so... awkward. WHY? Just say...

• Hey [Female Friend], did I tell you I started seeing [SO]? She's amazing.
• Hi [Female Friend], this is my SO [Name]... (And give a big honest goofy smile that shows you're the happiest guy on earth.)

Dropping the awkward bomb just makes the girl you're talking to think... wow... did I miss something? Was he into me? And then you have to give the awkward smile back and claim you're happy for your guy friend and whatever stranger he's apparently started seeing without preamble or discussion to his close (male and female) friends.

[Finchie40]

Probably because he knows he is more than likely blowing his chances with you , there are a lot of married people that aren’t fully happy in their marriages , but they stay because of what’s invested in the marriage, and I always hear married guys’ say it’s cheaper to keep her, but behind their wives back they are investing their time into other girls’ hoping to get another girl into them. Unfortunately unhappy married women do this as well , I know because I had my fair share of lying married women in my bed , that lied to me and told me they were single , when really she was married and cheating on her husband with me. When I ask why she did it after I find out the truth , they all said they weren’t happy in the marriage and they only stay because of what’s invested or if they have kid or kids’ together. Some married couples will stay unhappy in a marriage until the kids’ get older and then they make their plans to leave , kind of what my ex did to me , she realized she no longer wanted to tied down to just one guy and decided to be a selfish whore instead. Sadly
Most people on this planet are selfish people that only truly care about themselves that do not know how to give they same way they want to receive , why so many marriages and relationships do not make it the long haul , selfishness is one of the biggest relationship killers and again most people have selfishness inside of themselves , so if you can’t remove selfishness for a partner, then that relationship more than likely won’t last period. So if a married person isn’t praising their spouse and speaking positively about their spouse , then they more than likely are not happy on their marriage and more than likely they are open to meeting someone else

[DishLady]

This is such a sad story. :(
Thanks for sharing it -- esp the more personal details.

[Finchie40]

It was definitely a shock to me as well , but thank you for your sympathy❤️ , it’s just another thing added to my list that opened my eyes more , as to how crazy life and relationships can be , it seems my life started going down the tubes 4 years ago when I lost my older brother and then my mom 3 months later , experiencing to deaths so soon was something i never imagined happening, , shortly after that happened , I ended up on the hospital because I collapsed to find out my gall bladder was infected and had it removed , shortly after that , I got laid off from my job that I loved that I planned on retiring from , shortly after that my wife started changing on me and became selfish disrespectful person that ruined our family. Shortly after that I got laid off again from the next job I was working at , and now I am struggling to pay my bills and in process of selling my home by which I hope I can do soon before losing it. I feel my life has a constant dark cloud racing over me that won’t go away , it’s one negative thing after another , I so miss the days where I was happy and at peace with my life , now it seems happiness is hard to grasp , but I am not giving up but I hope it gets better soon , because this has been too long of a shitty road. Everything I was taught growing up seems like it was nothing but lies. I always been a hard worker and always cherished relationships , Now I feel like I have Sucker written on my head and no longer know what the believe anymore. I pray I find happiness again and true love , a girl that will truly love me for me and stand by my side like I stand by hers’ not a selfish girl that only cares about herself and what she can receive without giving back in return. I thought my ex and I would look forward to this time together , now that the kids’ are older , I though her and I could spend a lot more quality time together and travel and live in peace together , but unfortunately it didn’t happen that way , so at my age now

[Finchie40]

I never expected this to happen to me whatsoever and the thought of starting over hasn’t been easy either , but I know I want to be with someone that loves me like I love them , just seems harder to find these days , I feel social media played a big part on damaging the foundations of relationships by brainwashing people into believing in nonsense and believing grass is greener on the other side. Turning people into selfish users instead of actual lovers. But I have hope that she is out there , I just haven’t found her yet

[OlderAndWiser]

It's very obvious, and I wear it always.

[Smashingdoozy]

So glad i don't have any family that I awkwardly have to introduce my two partners to lmao.

[WhitneySnow]

Totally agree with you

[worldscolide]

One, I never ever hide the ring. Two, if someone asks, I do say that I'm married. If she won't take a hint I tell them "yeah, not going to happen I'm married"

But most of the time the ring is enough.

[DishLady]

I don't think I've ever approached a married guy except for a simple chat -- like at work with colleagues or at church with his wife right there. But also... I've been in the SAME community long enough that folks no I'm not chasing ANY guy down at all for any reason.

[worldscolide]

I've been approached more than I'd like. To some women a ring is like catnip, the going theory is that a married man has already been proven good by a wife... When in reality those that approach just want what they cannot have.. That having been said, there are a lot of men out there that welcome the attention and that kind of behavior makes me sick. I made a promise to my wife that I'd always be faithful, no matter what. Men and women that can't respect that are evil.

[DishLady]

That's gross... Low class. Seriously, even if I'm more friends with THE GUY I make sure I have his wife's number and include her in the texting so shit is "above board".

[worldscolide]

Same here. I even show my wife my I teractions on here so she has no reason to doubt me.

[DishLady]

You'd HAVE you, bro. You're on here way too often. I'd raise an eyebrow at my SO if he was on GAG too much, lol.

[worldscolide]

Agreed

[Anonymous]

"I'm seeing someone rn." (Yeah, buddy, the online gal you watch every night isn't a girlfriend."

He probably does have someone he's talking to. A lot of men don't have dozens and dozens of options at their tinger tips like women do.

The rest just seems like you're the one overthinking. People, men and women, casually bring up their SO in conversation all of the time. Sometimes it's because they're obsessed with talking about their partner, sometimes it's ti make small talk, sometimes it's relevant to whatever story they're telling.

[DishLady]

I don't think women have that many viable options either if we're being perfectly honest. *I'm* overthinking? Dude, when I have a boyfriend I just say hey, [friend's name], this is my boyfriend, [bf's name]. That's that. There's no need to creep it into a conversation or to keep saying it.

Classic ones are (1) the friend who tried to take his ring off IN FRONT of me when I saw it and congratulated him; he had lied the week before and said he was going to be away for JURY DUTY. (Odd behavior for someone I only saw as an elder brother figure at best.) (2) the gardener for a massive estate I used to live next to, who took off his glove and showed me his ring just bc I said, "Wow, you really do an amazing job with the grounds here." (At the time, he was old enough to be my grandfather. I was only saying something nice about his work.)

Guys are certainly HYPER AWARE of the mentioning of the partner. I don't know women who do that.

[BCRanger10]

Simple. I just tell people I'm married or talk about my wife.

[DishLady]

Married folks don't usually have to bring it up... There's a ring, you know?

[spartan55]

@DishLady Not always

[DishLady]

@spartan55 Oh my. :/

[molonski2]

Don't know about all that , many declarations can be made too soon , no reason for absolutes. If an individual is married that is of course a different scenario.

[Spencer10]

I would not be awkward if I had an SO... I would be proud.

[Ironco]

I've had gal friends do the same thing to me. I just let it roll off my back...

I guess they weren't into me, that happens.

[Caurav1997]

Oh its too long to read..
But its fuckin funny its a navie thing's... lol

[MrChinaski]

I'm seeing someone rn.

[exitseven]

I just mention that I have a wife.