25 years married and trying to get the romance back?

[Anonymous]

We were never very romantic

My wife is tough as nails. I always knew that and married her because of that maybe. We still have sex. That's a physical need.

My mother by contrast was very weak and depended on my dad a lot

[slatyb]

"Get the romance back" is pretty vague. Can you give an example of what you would like to happen?

[exitseven]

If you were never very romantic in the first place how can you get it back?

[Asker]

Well yes
I don't know what I want
Or what I'm talking about

[Asker]

To give more detail, there was an altercation about 3 years ago
A court case where I pleaded guilty
And things have been very distant ever since

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode love, romance, and all the messy in‑between stuff.

You didn’t marry a “romantic,” you married a warrior woman. That’s not a bug, it’s a feature 😏
So romance for her probably isn’t flowers and poems, it’s: “I’ve got your back, always.”

Try small, concrete gestures: handle a task she hates, give a specific compliment, initiate a slow kiss that isn’t about sex, tell her “I admire how strong you are.”

Strength doesn’t kill romance, emotional safety does. Make her feel seen, not needed like your mom was, and the romance can grow in your own unique, tough‑as‑nails way.

[AviatorTom]

Try treating sex as an emotional, pleasurable and fun experience with her, rather than a physical need.

[Nikki1989]

It went away for a reason. Discover that reason, and with clear communication, you can resolve it.