In a modern relationship, should the man or the woman propose?

Question

I am asking in general. I am not in a relationship atm, although there's someone I like, I'm just focusing on my studies until graduation, so to think of marriage would be jumping the gun.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Either is fine, but I would still feel inclined as the man. You should talk about it before.

usernameobvious · Accepted Answer

No one report or downvote me if I say - I prefer it when the man proposes to the woman 💍

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim here on GAG is to decode modern love and call out red flags, green flags, and all the messy stuff in between 💋

In a modern relationship, whoever genuinely wants to marry the other first should propose. That’s it. No gender rule, no patriarchal script.

As long as it’s mutual, emotionally mature, and not lovebombing or desperation, a woman proposing is just as romantic and powerful as a man proposing.

For now, focusing on your studies and low-key crushing is actually a green flag. You’re not rushing into fantasy wedding land, you’re grounding yourself in reality. That kind of mindset usually leads to healthier love later.

HawkPerception · Answer

I would personally feel emasculated as a man if a woman proposed to me. It's not that I wouldn't feel flattered. If a woman I love proposed to me, it would definitely make me feel desired, but a proposal is a man's job and something I've dreamed of doing my whole life.

Men are the penetrators. Women are the penetrated. Men lead. Women follow. Men are dominant. Women are submissive, etc. Obviously, there's more to those dynamics than that, but it generally LEANS that way in relationships. Some women are really offended by that, but it's just a fact. It works better that way.

AviatorTom · Answer

Either one can propose, if and when they think it's the right time to do it, with the expectation that their partner will say Yes.

Since women are generally more picky than men, and less willing to take risks than men, it's usually the man who proposes.

ShellyB · Answer

It is up to the couple, however I would say most men and most women would prefer for the man to propose. That is JMO and I could be wrong!

ohsheeT · Answer

In life when it comes to love there are no rules except the rules of your heart

Rei13 · Answer

Either is okay. It should be the man tho

Just_Ken · Answer

Marraige is very traditional by its nature as are proposals. Many women want that tradition, though these days many women have basically set up the proposal themselves. Including picking out the ring.

RavVid · Answer

Bad idea cause you need to be agreeable to get proposed to... hmmh not submissiveness, though than't won't hurt.

It is not be aggressive assertive or passive aggressiveness.

If you proposed to me I would reject you because you are clearly too feminist for my taste.

sawno · Answer

I don't believe in a modern relationship it should even become a marriage. Its to one sided so you'd effectively be having blackmail over your partner. He should propose when he is ready for that risk, and you should accept it if that is never going to happen. If you force it he will possibly leave or see it as you trying to put him at a disadvantage for your own benefit.

envyentertainment · Answer

That's a healthy mindset, honestly.

If you're not even in a relationship yet, thinking seriously about marriage is probably putting the cart before the horse. It's fine to know what you want long-term, but there's no need to plan a future with someone before you've actually dated them.

Focusing on your studies and graduation first makes sense. If something develops with the person you like, you can get to know them and see where things go naturally.

In general, it's good to have marriage in the back of your mind as a long-term goal, but not as something you need to figure out before a relationship has even started. One step at a time. 🙂

slatyb · Answer

If I were dating online again, I would put in my profile that if a woman wants a diamond ring and a kneeling proposal she should date someone else. The diamond is the result of the most successful ad campaign in history, and the proposal is a vestige of the patriarchy.

RingOfFire · Answer

Modern or not modern makes no difference to nature. And human beings are still owned by nature. It's the man's place to propose, always has been always will be as long as nature exists. Men and women are physically and mentally designed for specific rolls and that is one of them.

Zack-Bann · Answer

My personal preference is to do it myself

But I have no issue with the concept of a woman proposing in general

In a 50 50 relationship there should be no difference since a man is not “taking a woman’s hand” like they were before

That being said I also don’t think 50 50 is the only way to go.

I don’t mine a 70 30 as long as both sides are fulfilled and satisfied.

NathanDavis · Answer

there's no such thing as "modern or old" relationships... these are not contracts... you can do whatever you want

lilBigPotato · Answer

Whoever feels like it. It depends in the individuals involved. I like it if the guy does it but I would be ok to do it myself.

MrChinaski · Answer

In a modern relationship, you would have had discussions on the future you see together.

Proposing is the formal process, not the substantive decision to be together. Far more commonly I believe the man initiates the formalities.

4ngelic · Answer

I think it's better if the man still proposes. I don't think the maj of men would like if the woman does it, and most women want the guy to do it anyways. It's kinda weird if the woman is the one to get down on one knee in my opinion

Calyptomaniac · Answer

Whichever one wants it enough to make it official. I'd do it if I got tired of waiting.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm a feminine lady so the man must propose.

If I have to propose then I wouldn't be attracted to that kind of a man.

Just the same way if my husband were to be a stay home dad, I would divorce him.

The more masculine the woman, the more beta the man that she would attract.

I honestly do not believe that any woman who is truly feminine at her heart would ever want to take on a male role.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Either can propose. I only let my husband propose because I knew it would happen sooner or later. However, when it did happen, it was completely unexpected.

HighValue · Answer

Men shouldn't get married regardless because it is just a way for women and courts to financially abuse men.

exitseven · Answer

One of the biggest regrets I have in life is not proposing to my wife. We both just knew that we were going to get married. Still, I should have made a bigger deal about it.

beenherebefore · Answer

I'd prefer the Man to propose. I stand by Men are the pursuers and Women the pursued.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

MrChinaski's answer, with a spoon of Nathan. Modernity is vague in this context, how do you define a not modern relationship?

_Jenny_ · Answer

@misssunshine2 The man, except for Sadie Hawkins Day.

Screenwriter · Answer

No matter who asks, if the answer is yes, means both are on the same page.

itsannalee · Answer

I am straight, but i would choose to be lesbian than have to propose on a man.

genericname85 · Answer

We live in equal society so both should have the option to do so.

Godihateyou · Answer

On America the man should never propose or accept a proposal unless the woman is religious and from Asia. Like Singapore or Malaysia

FrodoSkywalker007 · Answer

I think it is more commonly accepted for men to propose. Though i. have no problem with women doing it. Just depends on the dynamics of that relationship.

LC75LC71 · Answer

Neither. Marriage has devolved into a terrible love contract where only lawyers win.

Joker679 · Answer

If you want to propose, do it! It shouldn't matter after all, as long as you love each other.

Anonymous · Answer

I thinks it's time for women to show how serious they are with the relationship 🤣.

Anonymous · Answer

Should wait for him because he got  ask your father for your hand in  Marriage

WhitneySnow · Answer

Either is fine with me

BCRanger10 · Answer

I think the man should.

Iron_Man · Answer

The man always should propose

Anonymous · Answer

Who ever feels like it.

MasterKS · Answer

whoever doesn't make any difference.

ThisSiteSux · Answer

In America? Nobody should propose.

TimothyT · Answer

The man

khyab1229 · Answer

The man should definitely propose

Skyros · Answer

The man

tonita926 · Answer

The man should

Smileygirl2000 · Answer

You're 37 ?

In a modern relationship, should the man or the woman propose?

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