32-year-old guy dating 23-year old girl - is nine years difference too much?

[Anonymous]

I know age shouldn't matter, but I've known some young girls (maybe a year or two younger than that) who are pretty immature. This girl, she's lived on her own for a while, is finishing up her undergrad in the spring (while working two jobs), and will then move on to her Master's right after; in other words, she seems to have her head on straight. She's not into heavy partying, clubs, or drugs; she's a very polite Southern girl who seems to have good family values. She's never been married and doesn't have kids; I've never been married either (focused a lot on school and work).

I don't get an immature feeling from her (haven't known her that long, though), but I've usually dated girls/women closer to my own age. Has anyone dated someone with a large age difference like this and had either a good turnout (married?) or at least had some good stories?

[Anonymous]

I dated someone in a similar position. I was around your age, she was in her early 20's too.

It didn't turn out well. I mean, I enjoyed the time we had together, and the age thing wasn't an impediment really. She really was quite mature. And when we argued, it wasn't usually an issue. I mean, I never slapped it in her face and claimed she would understand when she was older or something...

In the end though, we broke up over politics. Which seems stupid now, I think. But it was a major argument at the time and I realized she was never going to believe the way I did.

I don't necessarily agree that age is just a number. But I do think that there are young girls who are more mature than their years. And they should be allowed to have the option of dating an older guy if they wish, without society automatically assuming he's taking advantage of some naive ingénue.

[JackWSmith]

I'm sorry to hear that, man. Breaking up over Democrats vs Republicans is like breaking up over Packers vs Bears or Connery vs Brosnan.

[Opinion Owner]

I wasn't American. Neither was she. It was a different type of politics.

[Asker]

Thanks for your reply, man. Do you think your breakup, beings that it was more about politics, could have happened regardless of the girl's age?

[Opinion Owner]

Definitely. It was more about how we both saw the world. I'm a natural optimist, with a positive belief in human nature. For example, I believe social programs work. She was a natural pessimist. Believed the worst about her fellow man. She saw social programs as being constantly abused by everyone. That sort of basic fundamental difference. It wasn't age related, really.

[rachiee]

Get to know her better first and see how she is. The thing about age is that it is just a number if both people are on the same level of maturity as well as an understanding of what the other one wants and needs and is able to provide that or close to it. Just like love is colorblind, it doesn't see age. If you both are compatible and are willing to make it work then there's no reason it shouldn't.

[sadkoala]

my mom and dad had 10 years difference.they were getting very well with each other.

no age should not be a difference.and besides men get always more mature later then women so you should be about equal now;)

good luck.

[Anonymous]

It's totally fine, and in the scheme of things the age difference is not that huge. She sounds mature and like a good girl and I am sure she is happy she found an older mature guy to appreciate her. Stay in it!

[Anonymous]

Nope, she's really mature for her age so 9 years should be just fine.

[beerY33]

I think that's fine.