How can I get a girl to forgive me for being a jerk?

[Anonymous]

Me and this girl are not really friends but we get along and talk a lot. We always seem to playful argue with each other and we know each other pretty well to the point where we know how to push each other buttons. Some days we can be in a bad mood and just act difficult towards the other. Recently I had a bad day and she started acting up and I just lost it and said some hurtful things to her (called her a hypocrite and things in that vein) so she got mad at me. We kinda talked about it and got over it and we have started talking again but she told me that I wasn't forgiven. I asked her if I would ever be forgiven and she just keeps saying that "she doesn't know". She talks to me but she is a bit indifferent and cold towards me and things aren't like they used to be. What can I do in this case to make things better?

[Anonymous]

well simply don't apologize! You where in a bad mood and you lost your temper

we all do that sometimes and you talked it out and now she says you where not forgiven..

perhaps you don't notice what is really going on here..

here is the thing:

you where in a bad mood

she noticed it and pushed the limit

you lose control

she pushed over the limit

she gets mad

then you come crawling back to her: IM SORRY!

she thinks: hey I can play with him!

you aren't forgiven... and I don't know if I can forgive you even if I want to I rather leave you feeling sorry for yourself for me driving you up to that point

now she is feeling kinda sad that you actually let yourself come to this point

if you really would like to make things better stand up for yourself and tell her you don't like her pumping you up on a bad day or this is going to happen again (same thing as saying SORRY I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY! but then yeah your not begging her to forgive you anymore and she will respect you for it and knows she can pump you up on a good mood but when your in a bad mood and you become the person to tell her she is a hypocrite and all to back away from you a little)

and you know why it is so diffrent now? its because she saw a diffrent side of you and she needs time to know why all of a sudden you called her all that..

[Anonymous]

You'd have to do something pretty damn impressive. Girls can be quite prickly about stuff like that.

I'd suggest at the very least, finding something small and sweet that she would love as a present, and getting that for her. Writing a hand-written note, where you explain in detail what a douchebag you were, and how you really do want her to forgive you because what she thinks about you *matters*, and find some favour that you can do for her which she won't expect you to do.

Then - do the favour first, and when she finds out, you give her the gift and the card.

The combination of all 3 at the same time might just do the trick.

[Anonymous]

I had that happen once and I never saw the guy the same way again it was like "ok I really don't know this guy like I thought for him to snap on me like this and be so mean and he really doesn't care about my feelings if he'd say that to me" and it just kinda kills it, whatever it was building or between you. Honestly I"m not sure there's anything you can do except hope for the best and just sincerely apologize like a puppy dog about how you acted because she's NOT over it or she'd be acting over it.

[Asker]

So there's NO hope? I have been apologizing but she says that it doesn't mean anything to her bla bla. I asked her that if she didn't want to talk to me anymore to just tell me and I would leave her alone. She kinda thought about it and she said that it was OK and we could keep talking but that I wasn't forgiven. I have been trying but she jst won't give me a chance and talk to me regularly and as much as it was my fault, I have dignity. If she would just tell me to leave her alone I would.

[Opinion Owner]

that's a possibility. I can't really say she won't get past it cause she very well might, but at very least you've learned a valuable lesson about women. You can literally kill all interest in one angry outburst(especially in the courting stage!). we don't like that sh*t... :\

[Asker]

Yeah, I know. She seems to enjoy seeing me suffer a bit too much. For a woman who is mad she sure smiles a lot when she sees me "trying". Sigh

[Opinion Owner]

in that case then Ia with jsm...she's jerking you around abit, maybe you deserve it maybe you don't but if you just back off a bit you'll see if that was the case.

[anony84]

Apolog8ize specifically for saying those things - don't just 'kinda talk' about it.

Then be nicer towards her. She will thaw out over time.

[jsm1966]

Don't beg. She's being a controlling bitch! Leave her alone for awhile and don't play games with her feelings. She'll come around.