My boyfriend hangs out with his friends everynight do I break up with him?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend & I get along great we have so much fun we talk for hours he always tells me he loves me.the one thing is he has lots of friends and goes out drinking every night.When we first got together he said all my ex girlfriend would get so mad at me for having friends I told him that's crazy everybody needs friends .Well now I know what the girls were mad about.He goes out with his friends (mostly Girls) every night and they get so drunk its crazy.When him & I hang out he tells me of the friends he had to tell he could not hang out tonight because he was with me.Tonight we had plans to hang out (he was with his friends last 3 nights)he called when he got off work and said don't be mad but my friend asked me to go watch a game with him tonight at a bar I said but I am all dressed and ready to go out he said well you should have called me before I left work and told me? What?I don't know what to do I feel like I'm not good enough for him or his friends also I think not sure he is flirting and maybe more with a girl that works at bar he always goes to. help do I just break up with him?

[adam__808]

Break up? depends if he's worth it.

I hate to speak in generalizations, but I think that when a girl really falls for a guy she wants A LOT of time with him and attention from him. A guy typically doesn't want as much. If it's severe, it's a sign that the two were never meant for each other.

But usually it's not severe. Usually people like each other for the right reasons, but that dynamic will still be there. Guys don't learn how to form deep relationships at an early age the way girls do, and it takes some patience and learning.

However some couples are very active. If they're both in a similar career, share a lot of interests, they can totally find ways to interact with each other. I think this is somewhat important, I want to write about a theory that I want to see put out into the world... that people should date with similar career interests being a VERY important factor, among many other interests.

And again, you can always fall back on male chivalry and female vulnerability. A guy can really be sweet and caring during those moments when you find yourself hurt, and so while in the waiting period while a guy is ignoring you and in general "not getting it", pay special attention to when you're emotionally hurt and even needy, and be a bit proactive in letting him know that you want his help. That's a very powerful, emotionally charged statement for a man, it makes love bloom very hard and quick inside him: "I need help." It is much better than a request or complaint.

People love each other because they've found someone that intrigues them, for sure. But they also love because it makes them feel good about themselves. They've found someone that completes them and compliments them in a special way. Most guys want to protect something, give to something, etc. They don't want to be spoiled too much, which is why they pay for things, want to do things themselves, etc. But they do want to help, and when you give a guy the opportunity to help you with your heart, he feels good about himself. It's really a gift to him.

'Scuze the Dr Phil statement, but I think that girls, in their treatment of men, should shoot for the following ratio -a teaspoon of pity for a male's typically tougher and colder life(maybe done in secret, probably against his insistence that he doesn't need it, he probly needs a little)... a cup of accusation, and a ton of support. I think you'll be alright, and again, when you're hurt, let him know, with that ratio in mind.

[BeerME]

Honestly, sounds to me like the relationship is not his top priority. There's nothing wrong with him wanting to hang out with his friends but time is a limited resource and if he isn't willing to invest as much of it into you as you would like then it might be time to weigh your options.

[whatlove2212]

Priorities, priorities, priorities. Obviously, YOU are not one of his priorities.

It's not that you're not good enough for him, he isn't mature enough to put the woman in his life above his ridiculously busy social life. Does he work or go to school?

I would definitely talk to him about it (when he's sober, of course). I would just say when you tell me you're not going to hang out, it makes me feel like you're really dating your friends: My friend asked me to go out to a bar so I can't go on a date with you. Am I just a friend to you? Also, does he ever invite you out with them? Do you not go because you're not really part of his social circle and don't like it, or because it's ridiculous that he's going out to the bar every night?

It sounds way crazier than I could handle, with my personality, I would have dumped his ass a long time ago for being a drunk. Honestly, I would be seriously concerned about both the friend problem and the getting trashed for nights on end. I would be worried that he would end up an alcoholic. Do you want this life for yourself in the future? But that's just me, take it all with a grain of salt.

[whatlove2212]

Thanks for the best answer. :)

[silkshortshart]

I would say break up with him. If a guy likes you enough he will make time for you. If you break up with him you no longer have to worry about his antics and you're free to find a guy who isn't an attention starved moron.