My boyfriend ditched me for his friends?

[KimK14]

My boyfriend and I had plans to hang out today and he had texted me that he was going to visit his friend for a bit before we hang out. Then he calls me later and says that if we can hang out a little later but later calls me to say that we can hang out tomorrow. This I super irritating because this is the 4th weekend in a row that he's hung out with his friends and cancelled on me! During the week we have busy schedules and he is always too tired to hang out so the weekends are usually the best time to spend time together but he's always busy now it seems with his buddies. Should I be mad and am I in the right I be mad at him and not respond to his texts? Please help.

[christinalong338]

yes you can be mad about this! (obviously you're always allowed to feel how you feel). tell him that you're sick of being relegated to a last resort. there's nothing wrong with guy time, but when he keeps cancelling on you and putting you off until a "later" that never comes, he's telling you that he doesn't respect you or value your time. tell him that you're done waiting for him. If you're important to him, he will save some time for you, if he doesn't then tell him it's over. my boyfriend tries to pull this card sometimes and then tries to call me "controlling" for being upset, but that's bullshit. he's free to spend his time as he sees fit, but if he's not respecting you and making time for you (or if he's cancelling on you and putting you off) then you have ZERO requirement to wait around for him until he's "free" to see you.

[dan87]

i can understand the frustration because you want to see him huh, if he has plans with you then he should have kept them especially if this is becoming more of a habit and happening more frequently, i think you should tell him you need to see him too and see how he reacts, honesty is the best policy so just tell him what he does annoys you, you have every right to be mad at him! but don't not reply to his messages to get revenge, if it is annoying you that much calm down before you send anything you regret, sometimes it is best to wait an hour or 2 to send a decent reply than to send an angry one immediately

[BoundByCuriosity]

Yes you are well within your rights. you are an excellent girlfriend if this happens once, and something has come up out of the blue and you give him the ok to go hang with is mates.

but honestly i think he is taking you for a bit of a ride... and i personally wouldn't put up with being treated like that (well not once i realized i was being taken advantage of)

[KimK14]

Thank you! I don't care of he goes out with his friends, but when he does it constantly and cancels our plans to do so is what I'm not ok with. I'm honestly getting tired of him telling me how tired he is and how doesn't want to do anything when we hang out but all of a sudden has all the energy in the world when it comes to hanging out with his buddies. He always tells me how sorry he is but I don't think I want to hear it this time... What should I do or how should I respond?

[BoundByCuriosity]

i think normally i would just start treating them how they are treating you. and see how much they like it, but really it solves nothing.

most ways of responding to or dealing with this will result in you being really sad, or a break up, the only thing to do if you want to fix it is to call him out on it. point out to him that the only time you really get to spend with him is on the weekends, and that for the past X weeks, you feel like youve been neglected and that something needs to change.

[Thatguy321]

Im sorry Kimk :( Konya West must be busy with drake i guess :/

[Thatguy321]

Oh come on mine wasn't even worth a haha?

[KimK14]

Oh no! :( Leave your unhelpful comments for someone else. Thanks!

[Thatguy321]

Well if your anything like my previous gf's sitting on the couch to watch movies or going shopping doesn't beat hanging out with my friends.. Think of something actually fun to do with him and he will choose you over his friends

[christinalong338]

maybe you should date guys then if they're the only ones you have fun with...

[Thatguy321]

You ask your guy if he likes shopping with you all day at forever 21, go to starbucks and all those stores or go play basketball with his friends

[christinalong338]

i don't do that. but if you don't want to spend time with girls like that, don't date them. if you're dating someone, you're obligated to spend time with them.

[Thatguy321]

Well yeah, thats what I'm saying only maybe that asker isn't doing activists that appeal to her bf too.. There has to be balance

[christinalong338]

it doesn't sound like there's any balance. he just ditches her weekend after weekend.

[Thatguy321]

Then she should move onto a guy who prioritized her first if she wants

[Metal189]

It's one thing to have feelings, it's another on how you deal with them