Stability and Loyalty vs Fun and Excitement in a relationship?

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Ladies, which do you prefer? Stability and Loyalty or Fun and Excitement in a relationship?

Stability and Loyalty

Fun and Excitement

[ibjared]

Too many women want an exciting and fun guy who is unstable and definitely lacks loyalty. I have seen it time and time again. Women go after the fun and exciting guy, hoping that they can make him into a loyal and stable companion (tame him basically) and failing miserably. Those guys whole game is being unattainable, I've been there and done that. Women who go for the "bad boys" got it all wrong and that is why you see so many single mothers out there, scorned by their fun and exciting lovers who left because they never wanted to settle down in the first place.
Really, loyalty and stability should come first when looking for a long term mate, because you can always add fun and excitement to a stable relationship. But we all have to learn things in our own time and on our own terms, right.
So, I see women who go for the fun and exciting guys getting their feelings hurt over and over again until finally they decide to change their values and get themselves a nice guy who will always be there when they come home. It's all about where you are in your life at the time. We need balance in life, and if you have too much of one thing you're going to be longing for the other, the grass is always greener, etc...
Ideally you would want a stable and loyal guy who can keep you on your toes, and f*** the living daylights out of you when needed. Having common goals or mutual aspirations helps to keep things interesting.

Don't waste your time with the bad boys unless you only want to get D***ed down or else you're just going to get your feelings hurt.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Good answer man.

[goldgunsgirls]

link

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Because you can't have everything you want in life.

[goldgunsgirls]

Well then based on what I know girls are into I'd have to say that most would actually prefer fun and excitement in a relationship, despite what the poll says. That's not to say that they don't want loyalty though. They want both. But they can't stand a relationship with someone who's not fun. (Well, most can't. Obviously everyone's different and has different tastes, and I'm sure some girls out there totally dig the more low-key, "boring" guy.)

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Yeah true. I just read that infidelity is on the rise due to women being bored in the relationship so they have affairs (hoping their lives will be fun and exciting again). And they're not so scared of divorce as that usually leans towards their favor anyway.

[goldgunsgirls]

I think everyone is scared of divorce. The lawsuits aren't the only reason people are hesitant to get divorced... they've put all their cards on the table, thought for sure that their SO was the one, and then suddenly everything falls apart and they realize that they made a bad decision marrying the person. I think divorces are more emotionally stressful than financially stressful.

As for the study, well, that could be true for some women but I try not to generalize.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

What you said actually makes some sense I guess. Anyway, check this out and tell me what you think?

[goldgunsgirls]

Check what out? You didn't post a link.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Whoops, sorry lol link

[Aphropuff]

Guys, this article seems kinda lame.i'd say the same thing if it was written about guys and infidelity because I think it's awful to try to predict people's actions reactions and deisions by making up rules and applying them to everyone when each of us is a unique person and will have different reasons to act a certain way. My opinion is that people who are satisfied with ther lives and have dated a lot and have eventually decided to be in a relationship and can be honest in one won't f*** up.

[goldgunsgirls]

Completely agreed with Aphropuff. Generalizations of an entire gender never work. They only apply to one portion of the demographic, and often that portion is just the minority of the demographic, not even half of it.

[Anonymous]

As a female I'll be honest with you we both but on OUR TERMS

At 22 I'm young with a lot of pint up energy I'd rather be thrown against a wall and f***ed really hard then come home to the nice guy everyday...

thts why the girl from the twilight movies did what she did her relationship probably got SAFE, STABLE, AND BORING it didn't matter what she had at home..yes she was wrong for cheating but to be honest she is a platform for how we think whether we'll admit it or not

WE WANT OUR FUTURE HUSBANDS TO BE THE SAFE STABLE ONES IN OUR YOUTH THO, GUYS I'M SORRY TO TELL YOU GIRLS THINK EXACTLY LIKE YOU DO! We just suppress a lot because of social restrictions...

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Haha, I knew it! They want a nice guy to go home to for the emotional aspect, but also want a fun and exciting wild boy that will f*ck them hard!

[Opinion Owner]

Oh yea absolutely!

[MakeLoveNotWar]

God, that scares me. Paranoid of future relationships now lol

[Opinion Owner]

Ha! Don't be just because a girl is bored doesn't mean ABSOLUTELY tht she will cheat I wouldn't...this is just one of the many many reasons why a relationship can break down :p but better to have love and lost as the saying goes, right? :) it's a chance we all take

[MakeLoveNotWar]

I guess so lol. Anyway I'd rather she break up and leave me for another guy than her to cheat on me. If the relationship ends then I guess that's that. Everything happens for a reason and there's always someone else out there.

[Opinion Owner]

Of course there is and I'd have it the same way...I've never been a big believer in the whole one true love thing either there are plenty out there just as evenly suited for you as the next!

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Picked you because it seemed the most honest. One thing I want to make sure though, you want your future husband to be safe and stable in your youth, but fun and exciting later on in the relationship? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

[Opinion Owner]

I guess I should've used better punctuation lolz :p what I'm saying is tht we want our husbands to be the safe and stable ones but right now while were young all we want is excitement. :)

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Ah, now you make sense lol

[Anna_Drouga]

I believe young people looking for fun and excitement but as they grow they have more responsibilities and even if they want to do crazy things either they are tired from work or for the housekeeping or they think that other people will say that they are lunatics(although I've seen men that act crazy and I like it cause its nice times to times to show the child that you hide inside)

so grown people are looking for stability and loyalty because they don't want to have an other thing to worry about they want to return home and relax.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

True lol

[iAmAWESOME18]

I'm young, I'm 18 years old, I've had the fun and excitement without the stability and loyalty. It's not fun in the end. There's hurt feelings, mixed emotions, and no closure. So I prefer stability and loyalty, because I always bring fun and excitement to my relationship. But if there is no loyalty, there is nothing. If there is no stability there's barely a relationship.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Hmm, interesting...

[XRabbitHeartX]

Why just one ? It is very much possible to have all of them in one relationship. I've never been in one that didn't have all 4.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

It's just that when people mature and start to mature, the relationship tends to lean to 'A', but then some people get bored and have affairs looking for fun and excitement.

[XRabbitHeartX]

Very true. But I do think A stays the winner. It takes a certain type of person to actually have a affair really. If you truly love someone you'll make it work or at least try. A affair is not a excuse because your relationship is boring. If it is then try to fix it, if it doesn't help then you end it. Cheating is never okay regardless of whatever excuses a woman or man tries to come up with. You either love someone or you don't and if you do you would certainly not cheat.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

I agree with you 100%. Need more girls (and guys) that think the same way!

[Aphropuff]

Awesome comment XRabbit! Itdoes take a certain type of person to cheat--so careful o the decisions you make along the way, you don't wanna evolve into such a person...! Inhibitions can push you ofd the edge

Dude I loved your question I've been commenting on everyone's answers sorry LOL

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Hehe, glad you like my question lol. And also thanks for answering! :D

[Aphropuff]

It depends on what phase you're in. I was all for fun and excitement but I got tired of it and need someone who I can trust and be with exclusively. So even chosing loyalty can't we have fun too?! LOL but I see what you mean.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

I agree that it depends what phase you're in. I've read a lot of women in their mid 20's say they want stability by that time, but then later on regret settling down so early.

[Aphropuff]

Yes I agree, half my friends are either married or with babies or living with their girlfriend/boyfriend while the other half of us are running around dating going nuts ha ha (well, the single life isn't consistently that fun!) I guess now in my mid twenties I'm starting to think I could enjoy having someone exclusive in my life. Still feel too young to settle down though! :) Because it sounds boring altho I hope fun and excitement CAN exist in a serious relationship. What a confusing age!:p

[NyappyCat]

Stability and Loyalty for sure! I have never understood woman who complain about a guy being "too safe" or "boring" when in reality, they are the kindest, and most gentle, sensible men who always are respectful and treat their woman right.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

It's just that I've heard of women leaving their partners, looking for fun and excitement after many years of a boring, stable relationship. Usually they're in their mid 30's when this happens.

[NyappyCat]

That's strange. I'm not in my 30's so I can't speak for them, but I certainly wouldn't feel the same way. I want a loving, stable relationship, and have never befriended anyone I would consider boring. xD

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Nice, you're life sounds pretty cool right now!

[Aphropuff]

i think it's important to date around a bit when you're at the beggining, when you're young. First, you have no regrets later on when you're settled down (YES I hear that from a lot of my friends) and 2nd you can safely say that you picked a goos person to have a relationship with. Generally speaking I believe that having some time on your own befre any relationhip whether its your first or fiftieth is important so you discover your needs and enjoy yourself. Then again we don't choose when or who we for

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[999freakshow]

stability and loyalty for sure. Because if we're in a stable relationship and he's loyal, I"ll make sure we have tons of fun and I"m sure if those things are present we will be happy.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Cool!

[Fiona83]

If I can only have one without the other, I won't choose either of them. Stability and loyality are necessary, but if there's no fun and excitement, there's no happiness either. And having fun and excitement only feel great sol long until you realize you can't trust each other. That's no fun anymore then.

[samhradh_leannan]

Fun and excitement are an important part of a relationship, but loyalty trumps all.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Yes, agreed.

[crookthings]

I wouldn't be in either relationship :P One without the other is no good.

However, an "exciting" relationship with someone who cheats is much more miserable than a "boring" relationship, to me personally.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Is it because of your morals?

[crookthings]

Hm what do you mean by morals? It's simply not enjoying being cheated on, haha.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

I read that as being in a relationship with someone who is cheating on their partner just to be with you lol

[Anonymous]

I would be totally good with my boyfriend and I watching a movie at home every day and taking a nap. I'd be good with that. Ideally, I'd like excitement too but if push came to shove, I'd rather be able to trust him.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Hmm, good to know.

[Anonymous]

What girls say and what they do are two different things. No surprise more voted for A.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Yeah lol

[drummerdude25]

This.

[anon94]

True.

[Aphropuff]

Guys are players and it's cool. Girls fool around and it's slutty. Stereotypes! I think everyone should dool around because that's how you figure out what you like. And later on you have no regrets no inhibitions when you enter a relationship and you wanna make it work cos you're satisfied with your past and the fun and you appreciate your partner. Needy clingy people who hvent had any fun feel oppresed and go wild later and hurt others. Stupid stereotypes! Girls go wild when you're young please!:)

[Opinion Owner]

Guys are players women are whores debate. nice.

A girl can go in the middle of the street and f*** 90% of the guys in the vicinity, merely if she wanted to. For a guy to lay the large proportion of women he meets he actually needs to have skill. it's a badge of honor because of that, not the other way around.

[Aphropuff]

I didn't say it properly.i don't want to label guys as players or girls as whores. I'm just saying that guys who are fooling around are cool, their friends think it's a-ok. When a girl goes frisky, she's a slut. What I also meant to make my most important point is that these labels suck and are for people who can't explore their sexuality. Bluntly put, I think the world would be a better place if we all had tons of sex before getting in serious relationships.You're right, girls can get laid easier

[Opinion Owner]

I know what you meant, I was just explaining why when guys fool around it's cool, and for girls it's not.

If a group of guys go out and one approaches a group of women, then has all the girls hanging over him..He's the man. For a guy to be ABLE to fool around, it requires actual skill. Simply put, it's actually impressive.

If a girl goes and approaches a group of guys and has them all hanging over her, she's just being easy. Because she can have practically any guy she wants to have sex with.

[Opinion Owner]

"Bluntly put, I think the world would be a better place if we all had tons of sex before getting in serious relationships."

I couldn't agree more! I do see your overall point, and think it isn't very fair. But I think that women are the ones who made it that way in the first place (Women are the selectors, men need skill to be selected). If only women were as open to sex as we are, we would definitely be having that tons of sex before serious relationships. -__-

[Aphropuff]

So true, so true! Girls seem to be confusing guys a lot by the way. Still I think it's up to each individual to break these stereotypes and start having a healthy sexuality and mentality towards the opposite gender in general. Because trying to categorize people doesn't work since we can't apply the same attributes to different ppl. So yeah I'm gonna stick with the idea that you need to be satisfied before getting in a relationship and that means less reasons for you to mess it up! Not to be needy

[Opinion Owner]

"Girls seem to be confusing guys" Tell me more. :O

I completely agree. It's actually why I'm not in a relationship now. I just feel like, how can I settle with ONE girl when I still have so many sexual needs? I'll still lust for them while I'm with her, and I'm sure she will have hers too. Not fair for anybody. How can I know if more girls think like you? Whenever we have sex they always want to lock us up :\

[kereru]

i don't see why you can't have both? none of these things contradict each other ...

[sixstring]

I'm pretty sure both are very important to women. Lack of B will get you friend zoned instantly.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Lol, I agree.

[bel42]

I prefer being with someone who is stable and loyal to me.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Okay.

[Anonymous]

I would like to reference the widely known and hit classic, "Girls just want to have fun."

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Well, that says it lol

[Anonymous]

Stability and loyalty from the guy at home. Fun and excitement from the guy on the side. lol!

[MakeLoveNotWar]

That's how it works these days :/

[Opinion Owner]

Yep. So you'll want to figure out which of those guy's you'd rather be. . .

[Lauramcutie9]

I chose fun and excitement, but there also has to be stability and loyalty in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Why does it have to be two over the other two? It's possible to incorporate all of those things into a relationship.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

They claim A, but they always go for B.

[MakeLoveNotWar]

Yes, I read that after many years of stability and loyalty in a relationship, they get bored and then cheat on their partner with someone who is fun and exciting.

[Aphropuff]

Guys do that too. It takes people with guts to admit they just wanna date around and have fun without having someone believe they share a relationship. Applies to guys and girls. I will agree however that there is the stereotype that guys can be players and it's cool whereas girls who fool around are sluts. So we feel opressed and then act like B even tho we say A. I think foolin around is necessary and you don't come off as needy an insecure later on when you actually have a relationship.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

A lot of guys are like that. And many will be honest when they don't wanna date and just be casual. Then again, there are guys who will lie about wanting serious just so they can screw a girl, and yes, f*** those guys. They suck a d*** and are selfish f***wads. And I hate the idea of a player. I hate the idea of casual. I think it's weakness in either gender. But I don't really care either cause it's their life, not mine. I just won't be getting intimate with anyone who is such. That's all.

[Aphropuff]

You're right! It's just that I find that it's all the hype lately (OR I just didn't see it happening until now) and people think it's so easy to mess with your head get what they want and go. I'm just so friendly and impulsive, ready to accer anyone in a loving relationship ad so trustworthy right off the bat, so I attract these people with casual intentions. Didn't know how to control it--so I've been single for almost two years. And the guys I go on a date with find that scary and run off! LOL

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

hmm, I think I'd just be annoyed with all the guys hitting on you (or a girl like you) if I were going out with such, but I don't see how it's a bad thing. I, personally, don't trust easily. But I don't necessarily distrust people either, I just hold them in a neutral level of trust until getting to know em better.

And pfft 2 years. I've been single longer :| but it's whatever.

[Aphropuff]

It's just that I'm very excited to have someone to share all the good times with--hopefully,soon!-- that I get carried away and believe everyone has good intentions. Mostly it's just great to enjoy yourself every day and not be needy--that way yeah you can achieve what you said, hold people in a neutral level until they prove themselves. Very wise, good point.

BUT WE ARE YOUUUUNG AND WAAAASTING AWAY! Haha I kid. It's a choice,being single I mean. And a good one, too!

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

I'd prefer to be with someone I love, tbh. But that doesn't seem to be in the cards >.> so I just focus on other stuff instead.

[emzy-89]

Loyalty and respect trumps everything.

[drummerdude25]

Obviously B...

[shenholds09]

A...