We are both in our 30's, and we were seeing each other for about two months. Things were good between us. We spent several days a week with each other. We have been physical (kissing, holding hands, holding each other), but not intimate. I treat her very good (maybe too good), and that's what she said that she likes about me, but just wasn't used to it. She was in an abusive relationship a couple years ago and dealt with a stalker also.
A fews weeks ago, I noticed her a bit distant, so I asked her casually if she was ok. She said that "she's been feeling weird lately." I gently asked her if she wanted to talk, and she said "No. That's ok. I can deal with it myself. I just have some thinking to do." I told her that I'm here if she needed anything. Her mom was\coming into town the following week that she is getting ready for, so I know she had a lot going on.
A few days later, I decided to add some gesture and to make her day, so I had some flowers (yellow roses, daises) and chocolates delivered to her workplace for administrative professionals day as a fun surprise for her. I put on there " you deserve this, for all that you do", so I felt that it wasn't too much or too mushy.
The following day I called her just to say "hi!", and asked her if she wanted to meet for a quick coffee. She got upset and said "this is too much!" She was not happy that I sent flowers to her workplace. She said "It was not appropriate sending it to my work, and she keeps her personal business outside of the office, and it was not cool!" Then she added that "she has been feeling pressured, we spend time together every single weekend, and I'm doing relationship things, as she is not ready for a relationship."
I honestly meant no harm, and it was not my intention to upset her, and told her that I was very sorry, and the last thing I want to do is for her to feel pressured and awkward in any way. The call didn't end well.
I felt that things were not on good terms at the moment, so I gave things a cool down period and emailed her a week later to say "hi!" and again apologized to her for the events the week before. She emailed me back a few minutes later saying " I know you didn't mean any harm, I am just overwhelm right now." There's another family issue that she just found about also.
My questions are... When she says "she's just overwhelmed right now". Is she saying that I overwhelmed her? Is that just another womanese term? Did I scare or freak her out?
I really meant well, but I just wished she would have told me up front why she was feeling weird. I can't read minds. I don't know how to approach and break this. I feel confused and a bit hurt.
A fews weeks ago, I noticed her a bit distant, so I asked her casually if she was ok. She said that "she's been feeling weird lately." I gently asked her if she wanted to talk, and she said "No. That's ok. I can deal with it myself. I just have some thinking to do." I told her that I'm here if she needed anything. Her mom was\coming into town the following week that she is getting ready for, so I know she had a lot going on.
A few days later, I decided to add some gesture and to make her day, so I had some flowers (yellow roses, daises) and chocolates delivered to her workplace for administrative professionals day as a fun surprise for her. I put on there " you deserve this, for all that you do", so I felt that it wasn't too much or too mushy.
The following day I called her just to say "hi!", and asked her if she wanted to meet for a quick coffee. She got upset and said "this is too much!" She was not happy that I sent flowers to her workplace. She said "It was not appropriate sending it to my work, and she keeps her personal business outside of the office, and it was not cool!" Then she added that "she has been feeling pressured, we spend time together every single weekend, and I'm doing relationship things, as she is not ready for a relationship."
I honestly meant no harm, and it was not my intention to upset her, and told her that I was very sorry, and the last thing I want to do is for her to feel pressured and awkward in any way. The call didn't end well.
I felt that things were not on good terms at the moment, so I gave things a cool down period and emailed her a week later to say "hi!" and again apologized to her for the events the week before. She emailed me back a few minutes later saying " I know you didn't mean any harm, I am just overwhelm right now." There's another family issue that she just found about also.
My questions are... When she says "she's just overwhelmed right now". Is she saying that I overwhelmed her? Is that just another womanese term? Did I scare or freak her out?
I really meant well, but I just wished she would have told me up front why she was feeling weird. I can't read minds. I don't know how to approach and break this. I feel confused and a bit hurt.
Most Helpful Opinions