He broke up with me, but says he still loves me...I'm totally confused!!!

[dolly11]

Ok, so basically my boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. His reasoning was because he just wants some time to be alone and focus on getting a job and doing good in school and just be spontaneous with his friends. We had gone out for two years and he said it had nothing to do with how he feels about me and has nothing to do with wanting to go out and date other girls, just feels that it is something he has to do. The night after he broke up with me he texted me saying "I hope you know I still love you and I always will." Then he said he didn't want to lose me and after he got over whatever this was he would come crawling back to me. I love him so much and we both felt that we were the one for each other. He even told me that he still wanted to marry me when we were breaking up. I'm just really confused because I feel like if you really cared about someone you wouldn't break up with the person you want to marry. But on the other hand, I want to try to understand his perspective. I don't think he is trying to hurt me and he told me that he hopes this feeling or whatever goes away soon so we can be together. But it's so hard to trust that. I want to give him the space he wants, but I also want him to realize that he might lose me through all this and hope that is a reality check for him that maybe I'm more important than this feeling. As of right now I feel like he knows I love him and even if I wanted to, I wouldn't really be able to move on easily or anytime soon. I feel like that is not fair to me because he gets to do his thing while knowing I'll still be here. How do I get him to realize that he could seriously lose me and speeding up this process without overwhelming him and pushing him away. Any advice about my situation will help... Thank you!

[nursesian21]

Hey I know this was a while ago but I was just wondering how it all went, because I just came across your question and I am going though the exact same thing now, I lived with my boyfriend then his nan died and he just said I'm moving out I'm not happy, (yeah we argued a little but we were really happy at the time, he even commented on it) since then I adopted the no contact rule, he's been texting saying he loves and misses me and its killing him, and I just told him thanks but to get his head straight and stop texting me that stuff.

I love him so much and really do want thim back, but its like he's gone on a complete rebellion against me he seems bitter that I'm coping so well without him (with the flat and stuff).

I just don't know where I'm at, because I also know he had messaged other girls asking them to go for a drink, but then more recently was texting me.

It all just seems insane, because if I felt like that about someone I wouldn't be doing what he's doing...

Anyway I just wondered how your problem went because you have a bit of heinsight now...

Thanks xxx

[dolly11]

Hi, um... 18 days after my boyfriend broke up with me he called me crying saying it was the biggest mistake of his life and he was so so sorry and he'll do anything to make things how they were again. He was saying that he was willing to spend the rest of his life making it up to me cause he doesn't know how he acted so stupid.

I was definitely hesitant. But after talking to his friends a little bit, he was just spending the couple weeks having guy time. Nothing with other girls nothing crazy.

[Gabboo]

I just went through this myself with my fiance, and I felt blindsided

[lafeeverte]

i'm a girl, but I'm in the exact same situation as your boyfriend is. it sounds absurd, but I would believe him... I love my boyfriend, but I just don't know what I want to do with my life and how he's going to fit in it yet (I want to move to europe eventually, so I don't know if he'll be able to come with me), and I'm studying abroad right now and I'm just meeting so many people I don't want to be tied down in a long distance relationship... so I'd say yes, he does love you but he probably just needs some space after 2 years, especially since you're pretty young... just give him some time.

[nametaken]

Hi lafeeverte, what happened between you and your boyfriend? I know some time has passed. Do you feel the same way still, did you figure yourself out and how he plays into your life? Its such a mature decision but such a hard one.

[phoenixgoddess27]

Well I think it's okay for you to believe him. I think he will honestly still love you and that he still wants to marry you. Time and space is all he needs. Patience is very important when it comes to issues like this. Give him the time he needs, it's okay to worry, every girl would, but be sure to trust his word, otherwise you will lose each other.

[Eken321]

Same