A guy named Mo Gawdat gave a lecture on happiness yesterday and he said something that I think has defined the trajectory of my life this week
And this phrase is “committed acceptance”
My parents were growing up were very unpleasant and abusive and endangered me health from neglect and recklessness on a daily and sometimes hourly basis
I for the longest time thought I had two options: I could let them abuse me by submitting to their hatred or I could destroy them by punishing them for what they did and hate them back
As I got older and stronger and learned to shake off their hateful coating like stainless steel without injuring my crusty comfort in the process and I realized I had a third option which is that of committed acceptance
As Mo says committed acceptance is not surrender - it is heavily charged, maximum exerted, primally contained and mechanically disciplined self restraint by forgoing the rights and gossip or belittling and vindictive privileges our inclinations say we are allotted. All this to achieve the higher state stationary reserves of peace and docility before God without succumbing to the abyss of injected moral corruption or self hatred by derogatory caregivers
This idea of maximum exertion self created peace at the expense of ego and personal desire is how I understand committed acceptance
To deny my parents ideologies and morals completely without hating them in any great or weak sense
That is the balance of committed acceptance I’ve been trying to achieve
I find my logic and rationality and non superficiality as well as my ability to listen and understand and read people has increased exponentially with this new trajectory that I’ve been trying to adapt to and manufacture
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