While in University, I learned to play the academic game and got top grades, even breaking records with my academic performance and university taught me courtesy, civility, humility, tolerance, grit, respect, confidence, submission, patience and philanthropy, but there was a down side too….
I became super competitive because of my top grades and got so jealous it lead to misery and depression and a sense of betrayal when anybody outperformed me at something and it also led to me being an attention leech where I insisted on being the most respected and dominant person in the room.
I believe I had undiagnosed histrionic disorder during this time, which is basically a disease where you need constant acceptance and validation and approval from others and are dependent on their respect for your happiness. Gradually, day by day, God helped me to overcome my disorder so that I no longer needed constant praise and attention from others and I believe God kept me out of graduate school to teach me not to be competitive anymore but to celebrate the achievements of others, as if they were my own.
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wow i never thought about that, thanks for help me learn something new today