Search Results: i feel hopeless

Is it after the first, second or third date? Or is it much later than that?

I feel like being a hopeless romantic, I tend to fall easily for someone. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. I'm trying not to do that this time around but I think I'm heading in that direction.

So I’ve had an online friend for a few years and he started wishing me a happy birthday every year after we got to know each other a little better. There were times where he would & I wouldn’t, when that were the case, he’d follow up a few days or maybe a week after saying I forgot it was his birthday (more subtly). Last year, he wished me a happy belated & this year I decided to also be more laid back. I just asked him if he had a good birthday maybe a day or two after it actually happened, I sent him that message after he followed up with me about something else. He leaves me on read yet continues to view my IG stories.

This has always been the case, he’s always one of the first to see my stories but may go weeks without msging me. A few years back, he’d literally go weeks without replying but will be the first person to see my stories or comment. But when I’d take long to get back to him, he’d *jokingly* say that I’m ignoring him or ask if I’m busy. Honestly I don’t feel like I did anything wrong so I don’t see the need to reach out, it just seems hypocritical. You can be busy but I can’t? He hasn’t made a comment like that in years & his response time has gotten better. I have a tendency to delete people when my frustration has built up, I don’t know if it’s an avoidant personality style trait.

I just…couldn’t bring myself to confront him and ask if he was upset with me. I just felt apathetic yet hopeless in a way, even though I had total control. It’s been over 5 months since I heard from him and we’ve never gone that long without talking, so I took a hint and removed him (unfollowed him/he’s no longer able to follow me) from my IG. He’s still on FB, gaming app & linked in but those platforms are a lot less personal. Now I officially have no “friends” and at 30F I should be A LOT more upset but it’s more worrying about how I’m perceived. Is avoidant attachment the cause? Or excuses and I’m just a shitty friend?

It’s been a year and I can’t seem to get over the hurt he caused.. I feel hopeless and I feel that I’m at risk for losing everything I worked hard for including my teaching license because I can’t get my mental health together that is revolving around him. I hate him.

I went on a date with a guy that ended up only wanting something casual after I expressed to him that I didn’t want that and he made it seem like he wanted something more.. and it hurt because of how he made me feel initially.

then I found out he’s possibly bisexual and has an attraction to trans women and that caused more anger on top of him disrespecting and disregarding me. It’s like I was nothing… he lied, manipulated and then insulted me in the end.

he doesn’t fully understand the pain he caused by being a selfish liar.. and then to know I’m a hurt or wounded individual and he really played on that. It’s sick