Search Results: ask her to marry me

I’ve been with this guy for 7 years now on and off. We had just got back together and things were going fine. We are both senior execs in different companies so he knows I travel a lot for work. It was my birthday and I had to be in NY for a business gala thing. A guy friend of mine who I’ve talked to once in the past but who I realized I wasn’t interested in messaged me happy birthday and wanted to hang out. I let my guy know everything and asked if he was comfortable with me meeting up with him and that it was fine either way. He said for me to do what I thought was best but then ignored me. I ended up meeting up for dinner with him but took a friend with me to buffer. I was dressed apropriately and didn’t flirt but he messaged the next day and wanted to come to my room etc but I said no. When my guy finally stopped ignoring me, we got back to normal and he said he’d just been busy and asked how it went. I told him what happened and suddenly it went 0-100. He said he knew I’d meet up with my friend and that I likely did something for him to proposition me. He said I kept wasting my time on people like that and called me a whore and lemon car.. he also said he figured that guy would slip something in my drink or that I’d eff my friend and he kind of hoped it happened so he could confirm I was defective. He laughed and said at least now he knew he would never marry me. He was incredibly cruel and said everything to try and hurt me. He has never called me a whore before but he has said slut once in the past when he got jealous. Is this justified? Did I do something that horrible? Is this normal? Sorry, just really upset and trying to make sense of it all.

I’m not really sure how to put this, but sone of you know I had ashes secersl questions about how you might react if someone you were seeing told you they plan to marry, you told them you do not, and they wanted to continue dating regardless. I found this odd and suspicious bc if you already know what you want and you know it’s not what the other person wants, well you either think they are not being serious or you are not being serious. That’s how I see it tho I know there’s varied opinions.

this situation confused me not just bc he said he def wants marriage but the whole way he spoke about his future plans he is not flaky and he seems kind of traditional so I don’t understand how he’s ok with a situation that doesn’t line up with his plans or values.

he wants to finish his phd and hopefully get married before his grandparents die (he’s not going to just marry anyone but he’s hoping the timing works out bc it will mean so much to them and they mean so much to him. I mean no doubt it’s super sweet it’s just…) he wants to go beck to Ukraine to get narrated have the celebration there & locate work in Europe bc he expects there will be few job opportunities in Ukraine itself and wants to be as close as possible to his family. We both have family from Ukraine but his is immediate family, mine is several generations down, so while I am Ukrainian so I’m not Ukrainian in the same way that he is.

now he’s telling me all this on basically the first time we were in a sort of date (went to the park before I went to work) we have been friendly for two years but I only asked him out a few weeks ago and bc of scheduling conflict it took us a while to get it together.

I did tell him I do not plan to marry for various reasons, he was quite in disbelief at that, also that I’m not sure what my ten year plan is. At the same time, he was very eager to see me again and as of now we will be going in a date next week. But I’m not sure it’s a good idea.