Search Results: marriage relationship

Hi guys!

28 year old f who just got engaged to a lovely 27 yr old m. Just wonder if any one could give me a third opinion.

my fiancés father is a pastor and does marriage counseling for a lot of couples at our church and outside of our church. His dad and mom counsel the couples together. They’ve brought up that they could counsel us as well but we are honestly unsure if they should.

His parents are very cool and I have no issues with them, it’s just a matter of privacy I’m worried about and don’t know if his parents should know all the ins and outs of our relationship.

My mom recently asked who would do the counseling, and she asked would his parents do it. I told her we’ve been trying to figure that out but I knew when she asked me that she wanted to comment further but hesitated.

Any advice on this? It would be super helpful.

Thanks!

My ex and I were in a 4.5 year relationship before he ended it about 7 months ago now. His mom and I, while I was with her son, didn't have the best relationship due to external factors like my family's stance on the union and other things since it was an interracial relationship. After the split, she became kind towards me and helped me emotionally/mentally as a mother figure, basically treating me drastically differently than before. She even told me the day after the breakup that she believes her son needs to mature during this time to be ready for marriage with me since we were planning on getting engaged this upcoming year. That obviously should've been kept to herself since I was in a vulnerable place and assumed that he told her that, which led to delayed healing.

Since then, I have met up with my ex's parents a couple of times just because they wanted to see me, and they have treated me with tremendous respect and kindness. They invited me to their home to help paint furniture, and during that time, the mom kept referring to me as daughter-in-law even though my ex and I hadn't spoken to each other in months. We also talked about my healing during that time, and she supported my journey. Her son's birthday was in October, and she asked if I wished him a happy birthday. I said no since he told me that he wasn't comfortable with me communicating with him at the beginning of the breakup. My birthday was in December, and she didn't wish me a happy birthday, but today, she wished me a happy holiday season and asked if I was dating anyone. I didn't respond to her question and was taken aback by it since there was no reason for her to ask that. I have removed him and that whole family from my social medias, so maybe that's part of the reason why? Do you think my ex is asking her to find out on his behalf? Why wouldn't he just message me to find out?

We are dating 3 months, we agreed to exclusively date 1 month into seeing each other.
Around 2 months we became sexual. He's very affectionate in private. He's shy and doesn't do PDA much, but will kiss/hug/hold hands during outdoor walks/hikes.

Before the first date we both said what we want and they align pretty well: marriage, kids and committed long term. This has not changed for either.

We go on dates: morning hikes, drinks at bar, afternoon dog walks etc.
He has no family so I have not met anyone, mine is very traditional (so I can't tell them about him yet), he has casually met some of my friends. He usually comes to me and we are both on tight schedules so honestly haven't felt like sharing him with other people- so we haven't really had a double dates or hanging out with friends.

I've been to his place, mostly he comes to me, picks me up and drives me to date locations, he is good at planning thoughtful dates. He pays for all the dates, and he's a little traditional.

When I brought up "where are we going?" he said he enjoys his time with me and wants to continue seeing me, and get to know me, but didn't want labels yet, I am falling for him and was a bit hurt but given we are still relatively new it seemed fair.

To me everything we do feels like a "relationship" but we are just "exclusively dating".
What are we?