My message to parents of biracial/multiracial children and those who have a desire to have one

[Cookies_AndMilk]

To begin with I'd like to state I'm biracial myself; I have a Puerto Rican mother and a Jamaican father. All the time I hear about people desparately wanting a mixed child because of how cute they are when they should be having a child for love, not as an accessory or as a means of revenge toward their family. I want to first point out that being biracial goes beyond black and white. There are people who are white and Korean, Indian and black, Japanese and Cuban, etc. and they do not have an accurate representation of who they are. If you were to google search mixed people right now you'd find images of people with lighter skin and eyes, with curly hair, the features you would prominently find in someone who is white and black.

Growing up biracial is very difficult for most and quite often breeds resentment toward one side, it could be their dominant half or the half that is under represented in their features. It is almost as if you know who and what you are but the world refuses to recognize that in you. At some point there's the conflict of not being white enough, or black enough, or Asian enough, or hispanic enough. You're never enough of something because it's only partial and not whole. It's a continuous stuggle and pull to find acceptance in yourself when the world refuses to view you as what you are. It's as if people want you to choose, when it's impossible to separate yourself from the other half that makes up you. You are both, you will always be BOTH. It is important for parents of biracial children to instill that thinking into their child. That no matter what people say or think, the reality is they are equally one thing as they are another.

Children already have enough to deal with when it comes to society's pressure, especially if they do not fit someone's idea of what they should be. If you don't look mixed enough some people will treat you differently than they do with someone who does match the idea they've formed of mixed. It hurts, it hurts us a lot and for most they fail to recgonize the self hatred they've developed inside of them. Do not have a mixed child because of how much you admire their features over your own, do not have a mixed child because of some weird self hatred you have within yourself, do not have a mixed child because you think they are so cute. And when you do have a mixed child, don't tell them they're black, or white, or asain, you tell them they are BOTH. We are people, not accessories and developing a healthy image in a mixed child is more work than with a child of just one race. Mixed people don't have many to relate to or many to represent who they are. If you have a mixed child it should be because you happened to fall in love with someone of a different race, not because you purposely sought them out.

[mskay]

I'm quite a mixture as well, but being most of my ancestors are Chinese, I seem to look very Asian. People often mistook me for Asian as well, and as much as I dislike to be classify into a race I'm only part of, sometimes I don't wanna explain too much and just accept it.

My mum used to tell me I'm part White part Asian, but I didn't care much about it. But the teen years are kind of like the worse, and I wouldn't deny that bullies often picked on the mixed kids.

Thanks for writing this take (: it's an awesome one xx

[Cookies_AndMilk]

You're so welcome, I've found that things do get better when you accept yourself and nothing more nor nothing less from other people. Anytime anyone confused what I was I always made sure to correct them. You're a beautiful mixture, good luck with everything. :) <3

[mskay]

Yeah, but I just got lazy of explaining it for like the thousandth time ahah 😅

Thank you so much ^^

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Lol, no problem dear!

[RationalMale]

"Do not have a mixed child because of how much you admire their features over your own, do not have a mixed child because of some weird self hatred you have within yourself, do not have a mixed child because you think they are so cute."

Yeah, I read that sentence and didn't need to go any further.

gifs.gifbin.com/...0_citizen%20kane%20clapping.gif

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Lol, thank you. :)

[GreatnessPersonified]

I don't think most people choose to have children, children just come.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

@GreatnessPersonified I'm not discussing most people, I am talking about the people who purposely seek out mixed children for the sake of them being mixed.

[alecz]

I'm sorry you had to go through this issue. It's very terrible that you had to grow up feeling like you had to prove yourself to people. However, I'd like you to take a look at my Take

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22081-race-v-s-facts

"All the time I hear about people desparately wanting a mixed child because of how cute they are when they should be having a child for love, not as an accessory or as a means of revenge toward their family."

I agree those are really bad motives. I don't think children need to be taught the "you are both" philosophy though. What are they both of? The races that don't exist? We need to move beyond that. What if you start developing a passion for Chinese culture or Arabic culture. Suppose American culture, African culture, Jamaican culture, European culture or Hispanic culture just doesn't interest you anymore. What then? You should not tie your identity as a human being to labels that were only meant to exploit people. Doing so limits you and simply causes unnecessary identity crises. You don't have to identify with anyone; just find good people. There is no guarantee that the person who will be the most helpful or uplifting to you will have dark skin or speak Spanish as you have clearly found out. A person being 'mixed' won't guarantee them being nice either. Some so-called mixed people feel they are even better than other 'mixed' people. Be careful how you view the world through racial lens; 'race' doesn't really tell us anything about a person only the false beliefs we can form about them.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Thank you for being so kind, and I've actually viewed your Take before. I think it was pretty interesting but I'm not convinced race doesn't exist. It isn't like race is a bad thing, and maybe we don't really know what to call each other, but race is real. Just like there's different types of dogs or cats or fish, there's different kinds of people. A chihuahua and retriever are type of dog, yes at the end of the day it's still a dog just like at the end of the day we're still people, just a different kind of person.

[alecz]

I'm not sure that I'll be able to convince you that races don't exist but I will give you two things to think about and I'll leave it at that.
1. "It isn't like race is a bad thing" I'm not sure how racial ideas have helped us in anyway. They do not give a clearer understanding of each other; instead they are the basis of stereotypes. They don't help in scientific inquiry; not one scientific idea has been made by race. As far as I can see, exploiting and oppressing people have been the only use 'race' has served in this world, from the enslavement of Africans to the Holocaust; it's all based on race. The question is has race really been that good to us?

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I think it has, race is beautiful, it provides so much variety in the world and it makes us all unique from one another. The problem with racism isn't the recognition of race the problem is found in the individual. The belief that one race is inferior or superior is only determined by the person thinking it. Race isn't a bad thing, bad people make it seems as so. If the world didn't have the term "race" there would still be discrimination. There are obviously groups of people that have certain characteristics, getting rid of the term race won't get rid of the bias pertaining to what people look like. It might even enhance it. Because at least with race there's an explanation as to why our features are so different and it provides an understanding. Without there isn't an explanation, and people would probably have a harder time understanding why Johnny is so different from Hector who's so different from Marcus and on and on.

[alecz]

2. You compared humans to dog breeds. 'Breed' is a term used when talking about offspring born because of Artificial selection or 'selective breeding' (Sorry to get technical) so we can't apply 'breeds' to humans in that way. It's also not a scientific term; it's only used by dog breeders. Scientist only group animals to the subspecies level. Dogs (domesticated dogs) that we have as pets are actually a subspecies of the Gray Wolf; it doesn't get any lower than that. Here is the question though. If we are just like dogs; different kinds, Labs and Great Danes, then how many races are there? When you think about dogs there are so many different 'breeds' and as I showed in my Take, lumping people into 'black' and 'white' hides a lot of the different 'types' of people. So there would be a lot more races if we spoke about 'kinds' of people. Now if there are more races/breeds it would mean there would be a lot more 'crossbreeds'. So a Scandinavian and an Italian would make crossbreed kids.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I did admit earlier that we probably do not have enough terms to fully represent everyone out there but race does exist and it goes beyond the outside. If you compared the makeup of a black person to a white person on average black people tend to have larger muscles and thicker heavier skeletons. There are several processes that can be used to determine the race of someone just by looking at their skeleton which resulted in about 80% accuracy.

[alecz]

See this is the problem in the first place. We think that racial theories are about physical differences and they are not. Think about why East Indians and Chinese have been placed in the same racial group. They look different but they are placed in the same 'race.' And I'm sorry but it doesn't explain our diversity; evolution and genetics does that. Saying that there are 4 races in which humans are varied does not explain the greater diversity we see in the human population. Middle Easterners don't look like Italians and Italians don't look like Jews but racial theories ignore this diversity and say "they're just white." East Africans don't look like Khoisans but they're just 'black.' I understand that we've grown up our entire lives around 'racial ideas' and it's been very influential in the world we live in; it's even hurt some of us. I'm not saying that removing the term will solve all the problems but at least getting rid of a wrong idea is a place to start.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Try checking out this video, the speaker does a better job of explaining than I am capable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHDWlnah3b0 It's a little over 11 mins. long, so I do hope you take the time to watch it all.

[alecz]

"I did admit earlier that we probably do not have enough terms to fully represent everyone out there but race does exist and it goes beyond the outside."

Even you admitted it, if the language doesn't even accommodate the variety is it really about variety then?

"If you compared the makeup of a black person to a white person on average black people tend to have larger muscles and thicker heavier skeletons. There are several processes that can be used to determine the race of someone just by looking at their skeleton which resulted in about 80% accuracy. "

This doesn't prove that races exist. These statements already presuppose that races exist. "If you compared the makeup of a black person..." There is no argument in the form of premise 1, premise 2... therefore races exist. You already stated that there were 'black people.' Also there are genetic differences in European population and everyone outside of Europe is prone to lactose intolerance including Jews and Middle Easterners.

[alecz]

I won't say the video was stupid; just a bit misinformed. I agree with him on a couple of things but he choose many poor examples and did make quite a few categorical errors. I'll just hit on some major points.

1. He says that race is a social construct, like a chair etc. This is true and I don't think that simply because it is a social construct it is false; that's poor reasoning. However, he equates categories such as chair, color and so on to be a Biological category. They are not; chairs are non-living objects and is not an important category used in the study of Biology. He then misuses an overly-reductionist analogy as an explanation of race. Yes we distinguish between cars and trucks despite their quantum similarity but this is not the way in which we are saying race is false. We are not saying that there is no physical or genetic variation within human populations. We are saying that genetic similarity and phenotypic overlap makes it impossible to fit into these groups.

[alecz]

2. I agree with him that Lewontin's argument is in fact fallacious. The falsity of Lewontin's argument however does not mean that races must now exist. Now there is a point at which he says "Depending on how you divide up the breeds, or populations or subspecies or whatever synonym you wanna use for race." This is a fundamental taxonomic mistake. Breeds are not the same as subspecies and a population in Biology means all the individuals of a species within a given area. Subspecies are a subset of a species and this is what 'races' are. We Homo Sapiens Sapiens are already a subspecies of the species Homo Sapiens. Other subspecies include homo sapiens idaltu, and for some taxonomists homo neanderthalensis. He then later states that if you deny races you are denying other subspecies. This is just ridiculous; no one is denying that in the Species Homo Sapiens there are no subspecies. Of course there are; Homo sapien idaltu but not 'black', 'white,' 'Asian' and 'Native.'

[alecz]

3. He started describing how 'breeds' are determined. He said measuring eyes, looking at physical differences and this goes back to a point I mentioned earlier. There are 340 known breeds of dogs, 350 for horses. If we are going to put humans into these types then we are going to end up with at least 10 different types. Now suppose you had 4 dogs and 3 of them were great danes and one is a German Shepperd. Only one couple could produce mixed breed offspring. Now suppose you had 2 great danes, a German Shepperd, and a Border Collie the potential for having more mixed breed pups would go up. In other words the more variety you have the more opportunity for crossbreeding. Look at the world's 'mixed population' now based on only 4 races. Imagine if you said "we were wrong the entire time there are many more races," this would mean that countless numbers of people would immediately become crossbreeds, leaving purebreds almost extinct and humans mostly crossbreeds. Think about it.

[Rainie_]

I am actually mix race, French Guiana (my grandfather is really dark) and my mum is biracial and my dad is Swedish, although for some reason a lot of people think I am Spanish or Latina. Some people see me as a white person, some people see me as mix race (most black people actually do ask me if Im mix, more so than white people, don't know why).

Any how, I've had quite a struggle to identify where I really belong. I used to just say Im Swedish, until I revisited Sweden (after not having been there in a very long time) and I honestly felt like such a foreigner. All the Swedish people there spoke English to me at first until I told them I speak Swedish and Im born there, and they could not believe me, and kept asking me where I am "originally" from. I didn't come across a single person that did not speak English to me at first. Some even tried to speak "slow" English to me so that I would "understand" them better, in case I didn't even speak English well... I don't know, I just felt really sad feeling like a foreigner in my home country. And its just so confusing, you're seen as white to some, hispanic/latina to some, mix race to the very few, and a complete foreigner from god knows where to most people. But honestly, I don't even feel like a Swedish person. I've lived away from that country for so long anyways. I've just become one of those really multicultural expat kids who don't really belong anywhere but the international expat community.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle, and I certainly do understand. A few Hispanics are a mixed race people consisting of European and African ancestry but most come from Taino ancestry. A lot of people racially mixed with white and black have similar features to Hispanics so because for few Hispanics they are racially the same just culturally different. Most swedes are white, but they probably don't understand that race and culture are two separate things. Any race of person can 'originally' be from Sweden and are equally as Swedish as the others. I've found that a lot of white people don't consider mixed people to be the same as them and I think it's because of how different your features pair up against theirs whereas a lot of blacks tend to recognize & accept mixed people because they can see pieces of their features in you, so you're relatable. Don't let it get you down, if your mother is half white you're honestly more white than anything else. You are just as Swedish as the

[Cookies_AndMilk]

next person, anyone that can't recognize that is simply just ignorant and you can either choose to educate them on your background or leave it be. But you are mixed, you're a Swedish and French Guyanese woman and you should be proud of that. They don't need to accept this fact because whether or not another person looks at you that way it cannot change the reality of that being what you are. Be mixed and be proud regardless of their ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Good take. All this is due to the effect of culture. Often times culture is made within racial groups. So when you're multiple races it makes it tough to "fit in"to one or the other.

However, I believe this is how it should be. Why shouldn't people want to explore other cultures? Now sure some people don't really love other cultures outside their own, but hopefully they do. Hopefully their mixed kids are a result of a love of mixed culture and not a result of something else.

Something else I think people don't talk about is the fact that really most people (blacks in particular) are mixed anyway. I'm considered black, but really I have ancestors of different races. I never felt I belong any any particular culture other than the ones I love whatever they may be. Sure part of me feels for black culture, but that's due to how the world perceives me so I understand that. I think we should avoid the we vs them type of mentality but it's hard. Humans are know to want to relate.

It's a interesting dynamic.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Thank you for your input it's really appreciated. I don't like the idea of everyone being "mixed" because to me you need to be a good amount of something in order for that to be a part of you. If someone is white and only 1/16 Native American I would never see a mixed person, that's a white person. Now if they were 50/50 then yes they're mixed or say they're 1/4 white 1/4 native 1/4 black 1/4 Asian, that too is mixed. But if you have an overwhelming amount of something versus anything else then no it's not a mixture. I like to think of it this way, say you have a glass of water and you drop a grain of salt in it, does it stop being water.. no? It may not be pure water but it's still water nonetheless. Now add in equal parts of lemon and sugar to the water. It's not water anymore, it's lemonade, it's a mixture.

[Opinion Owner]

I understand that. I just see people as people and not really from a race perspective. I think mixed people expose that in others. It shows if someone focuses on race or doesn't.

I also don't feel like you have to be a part of a certain culture because of your race. I just don't like the division. I never felt I had to stick with one culture or another. The only thing that mattered was the love. The love of said culture. For instance, musically Hip Hop is a part of black culture. Musically pop is mostly white culture. I like listening to both. I don't feel like just because I'm black I can't listen to alt. rock or pop or heavy metal. I like Victorian Gothic stuff. I feel it's okay to be that way regardless of my race.

[Opinion Owner]

But again that's not to say that transitioning from one culture to another isn't difficult and mixed kids are caught in that web really early. I was too though, so it makes me think that other kids who aren't mixed experience it too.

I have heard of people wanting to have mixed kids due to certain features. I don't think that's right. I'm happy having kids with w/e girl I'm truly in love with regardless of her race, which includes my own.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I see your point, I think the problem that stems from that is most people don't understand culture and race are two separate things. Multiple races can be found in one culture, they don't need to go hand in hand. Take Jamaicans for example, most people would assume Jamaicans are black when that's not the case. The CULTURE is Jamaican and a good majority of Jamaicans are black, but there are white, Asian, hispanic, mixed, etc. all kinds of Jamaicans. Same thing with Africa, I've seen white Africans with pale snowy skin and blond hair, why is that? Because African is a culture not a race. Just like Black English people, they don't like to identify as "african amercan" because they are neither African nor an American, they are black englishmen. Race isn't something that we should pretend doesn't exist, the recognition of race doesn't breed ignorance it's the intolerance of it that does. Race is a beautiful thing, culture is even better. Race and culture are what makes the world so unique

[Cookies_AndMilk]

And it helps us celebrate the beauty of humanity. The problem people have isn't due to race, it's because they fail to realize race and culture are not inclusive they are exclusive.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree. Jamaican is a nationality. Just like American. People would think white person when they think American. Yet of course there are many different races that are American. Same thing.

Yeah I know there are plenty of white Africans. There are a larger percentage in South Africa. I think 9% but don't quote me on that, because I'm not sure. Due to this though the media highlights white South Africans more than black ones.

I don't like to identify as African American. None of my family is from Africa. We were all born here. My parents. My grandparents. My great grandparents. My great great grandparents (and my great great grandfather was white). I've met a real African American. She came over from Africa.

I'm not saying we should say it doesn't exist. I'm saying if you love a certain culture who cares what race started it? That's my point.

[Opinion Owner]

Some people come into a culture to misuse it. I understand that. However, for instance going back to music (sorry it's the best way for me to describe my point) Macklemore is a white hip hop artist. There are some hip hop artists of other races who may misuse the hip hop culture for the sake of making money. People question artists like Iggy Azaelea (however you spell her name and she's white btw). I don't know if Iggy truly loves the culture or not, but Macklemore I feel does. Some people say he's a sell out or what not, but I don't think so.

So I'm saying if you are genuine in your love of the culture then I feel you don't have to be the race that started it to be a part of it.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Yes, I agree with you 100%. If only the rest of the world could realize that as well lol. I'm glad you don't identify as African American, I say this to my boyfriend all the time that just that term alone is racist and separates blacks from the rest of the population. If a white African came to the U. S. for citizenship they would be African American, but I guarantee there would be a lot of black people offended and angry when they fail to realize they've been segregated from the rest of American society by just that term alone. Americans come in all shades same with every culture on the planet. I just wish people would understand that.

[PSIHEPA]

No because I'm recognized as European American being that I'm white dumbass.

[Opinion Owner]

I've noticed that you're one weird dude.

[GirlsLie]

Nice take :)

I'm really surprised this is still even an issue but then again the world is full of ignorant people who are overly critical and still judge people for any and everything even after we've evolved so much.

Also a lot of people are biracial now it seems, so you would think more people would be open minded towards it. Where I live there are lots of interracial couples (black and white) with children and even my family members have biracial children.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

There still is the issue of people not being able to understand biracial goes beyond black and white. Mixed people can be white and Asian or Indian and Hispanic but people won't identify them as mixed because they don't look a certain way. It's quite frustrating especially when whatever half you are refuses to acknowledge you. I have plenty of friends that end up hating their black side, because they have white family member that look at them as black and only black. They refuse to accept that as black as you see them they're equally white.

[GirlsLie]

Ahh I see, I had a friend like that, he has an Asian mother and a white father but he claims to be white and he actually looks white more than anything, sometimes I think they just do it because it's easier for the people around them as well lol

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Maybe, I think the more for lack of a better word 'extreme' the mixture might be the harder the time someone has. Asians and whites do have similar features and it's not too drastic of a change as with someone who's Asian and Black or whatever else that looks completely opposite of the other.

[GirlsLie]

Yup, I think so too. Honestly seeing black and white people where I live is very normal. I saw another question posted about how the future races will look with the way people are mixing today, it was interesting to think about.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Yeah it is, I know a few people are seriously worried about it though lol. They're afraid their race is going to die out and everyone is going to look the same. I highly doubt any of that will happen. There's plenty of mixed raced people that choose to date within one of their races, this ends up creating children of just one race again. For example, I'm black a Hispanic and my boyfriend is just black. When we get married and have children they'll hardly be mixed with anything as about 75% of their makeup is black. If they had children with a black partner as well, then my grand kids would be black, they wouldn't be mixed.. just black. A lot of biracial people date within what they are, so this idea of everyone being mixed is silly. Plus it would take an extremely long time for that to even happen so the people worried about it would have passed on anyway.

[xKaurax]

I think this is a really great take! It seems like it's becoming more and more common that people are using their children more as trophies or achievements to make themselves look better. I'm half white and half Indian so when I was younger, people were a little confused and judgmental when they saw me with my dad (he's brown and my skin is quite light) and at the time I didn't get why people acted like this until I later realized that not everyone was okay with the idea of ethnicities mixing. Now that it's more common, I think it's great that more people are becoming accepting of it, but it's sad that some people are almost taking advantage of it.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Is it bad if i dont really care what so ever about race or races mixing. Like i feel like its just people dating people. Its not wrong like some racist assholes think but its not better or more beautifull than any other combination, its just like a normal relationship. I feel like people make it out to be bad or really good but in reality its just normal. Two people of different eaces datibg is just like two people of the same race dating. Thats how i feel about interracial relationships, gay relationships or biracail kids, its all normal. Ijust wished people would stop talking about it and treat it like its normal. By the way, im a white hispanic so i identify more with mexican culture but everyone expects me to like "white" things because of how i look. Kind of sucks when people expect you to like certain things or act a certain waybecause of skin color.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

No it isn't weird to feel that way at all, it's actually what I was trying to get across with this take. I've encountered so many people that act as if having a mixed child is like giving birth to gold and it's sick. We grow up with a lot of complexes and an internal divide. If you have a mixed child let it be because that's the way it happened, not because you sought it out. That's how I also feel about interracial dating or dating within your race. It's just weird to me that you would purposely seek out a certain race and that's it. Kind of like some weird fetish, there's a difference between a preference and being a douche about it.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

If some idiots want to go out and have a kid with a guy of a different race just so the kids cone out cute , then let them. Who cares, no one is getting hurt. By the way, I've met a lot of mixed race people, 80 percent are not attractive but just weird looking if not ugly. But then there is about 2 or 3 who happen to be girls who look hot. I thik its weird when people say mixed race babies look cute as all babies look cute untill they hit a certain, age then they are just little chuckys running around.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Lol really? I've always been cute as a button :) most mixed people I've met look average and a few are really beautiful. I've only met a small amount that weren't all that attractive but that's the same for all people. I think the idea of mixed people being so cute are those few ridiculously amazing looking babies you see on the internet. I think most people believe their child will look like that but more than likely it's not the case and they just look regular lol. May I ask what area you're in?

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Denver colorado. Where do you live?

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Central Florida. What are the people like in Denver, is there a lot of cultural diversity in your area or no?

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Yes, denver is a minority majority city. Lots of white, black, hispanic, indian.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Oh nice, down here it kind of varies depending on what area you're in. Where I am specifically there seems to be a decent number of blacks and whites, a lot of island folk too. There's also a good amount of Hispanics and a few Asians. If you go down to FIT you'll see A LOT of middle eastern students.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Mmmmm, i have a friend who is from florida and he says the hispanic girls down there are amazing lol, is that true?

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Ehh they're so so. If you go to Kissimmee Florida or more Hispanic dominated parts of Orlando then you'd see a huge selection of Hispanic women. Since there's a wide variety the chances of seeing someone extraordinary increases. In my area they don't look too special. There's some pale thin ones that pretty much just look white with wavy hair and there's some that are jaw droppers but I think in my area in particular everyone's pretty basic lol. You'd want to go to Orlando or something if you want to see some lookers.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

What about the guys, are there a lot of attractive white, hispanic, black, indian dudes?

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Honestly it's kind of difficult for me to answer. In my opinion the majority of people are at an equal level of attractiveness until their personality comes into play. Depending on who you are as a person makes you more or less attractive. Most people I find unattractive due to what's below the surface, also my boyfriend is the most and honestly the only attractive man in my life. Maybe it's weird but I can recognize beauty and not have an admiration for it. My boyfriend is the only one I can look at that way, everyone else is just meh. For the girls I guess it's easier to identify because I'm not attracted to women so feelings toward them remains constant in most situations.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Mmmmm okay. Well it was great talking to you.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Yeah you too. Take care!

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

This is very good MyTake and thank you for sharing
my cousins are biracial and my cousin who just passed
was married to a Hispanic man so i do support interracial
relationships and i think we are all beautiful in God's eyes.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Thank you for your kind words, it's really appreciated. :)

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Your very welcome :D :)

[Anonymous]

I just have a question for you asker. I hope you don't get offended. I have a Puerto Rican and Guyanese (Black) child. Pretty much the same ethnicity as you are (Caribbean black mix).
Why do you consider yourself bi racial? When puerto Ricans are 25 percent black or more. That would mean you have more than 75 percent black DNA. Why do you not identify as such?
I am raising my child to be black.
I believe biracial means two different races. Puerto Rican is an ethnicity although his Dad appears white.
My kid is the girls complexion in your very first photo with thick , soft afro , loose curly hair.

[Opinion Owner]

And to make things clear Jamaicans are black so that's 50 percent black added on with the 25 which is where I got the 75 percent from

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Not all Jamaicans are black, Jamaican is a culture not an ethincity there are white, Asian, and every race of jamaican the same as with Americans. Not all puerto ricans are black, there are a few who are just black, a few who are just white, a few who are a white and black mix, there are also a few who are part Asian but most come from taino indians. My mother is a taino indian and white mix, I have two different races. She's not black at all.

[Opinion Owner]

I want my kid to acknowledge both cultures if anyone is curious about the mix but identify as black. In the real world there is no in between

[Opinion Owner]

99 percent of Jamaicans are black.

Puerto Ricans are black , white and Indian. They are a combination of races. Some puertoricans have more black than others.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I know what my own people consist of especially pertaining to my own mother, she's not black. She's a Taino white mix, I have two different races therefore I'm biracial. It doesn't matter what the majority of Jamaicans are it is not a race it is a culture. Being Jamaican is exactly the same as being American, you just need to be born there.

[Opinion Owner]

I think my hubby knows his culture as much as you do. I think the problem with puertoricans and Dominicans is that they are so quick to claim white and Indian but want to be as far away from black as possible.

Oh well... thanks for your response

[Opinion Owner]

My guy looks as white as European. But he's one of the few to acknowledge the black in his culture just to add.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I really don't care about you or your husband. I know what my family is, you've never even met me so how dare you talk to me like I don't know anything about my own family. You're just one of those black people that thinks the world hates you and owes you everything, my mom isn't black. So get off of my post and leave me alone. It's people like you that make biracial people grow up with this complex and hate themselves. Not everybody is black get over yourself.

[Opinion Owner]

No, you're almost fully black but want to cling on to your white and Indian side. I find this behavior typical of puertoricans and Dominicans. I'm glad I met a guy who looks White as any European but we acknowledge that three races is what created puertoricans in the first place.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think anyone owes me anything. Not sure where you're getting that impression from. But I'll leave you alone , I can see you are offended by the truth.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I never said that! I always say that I'm both I never take up one side over the other. I am aware of my race and I'm mixed. because I'm mixed i will NEVER claim black over Hispanic or Hispanic over black. I am both and will forever be both. The whole purpose of this post is to bring awareness to the issues mixed people face. It's statements like that that end up hurting people. I'm crying right now because all this has done is brought up feelings of frustration and sadness that I've had to grow up with. You've completely missed the whole entire point. You don't know how damaging it is.

[Opinion Owner]

My kid is only toddler age , so I don't know first hand what you have been through. I apologize for offending you and if you have had it rough. I agree with your entire take. I just wanted to speak to someone a similar mix of my child and find out why you choose to claim both instead of one side.
Alicia Keys , Obama , Halle Berry all chose. There comes a time where you have to mark off a race and identify.

[Opinion Owner]

But I will end the discussion on a positive note. Fare well.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Honestly if your daughter grows up like most mixed people she's probably going to resent one half, most cases it's the dominant side, but sometimes it's the half under represented. I have a friend who's white and black, she grew up with her white family but they call her black. They don't even acknowledge she's equally white, because of this she's so insecure with her appearance and hates her curly hair and her curves. She burns her hair straight every single day because she's not fully accepted. I grew up on my black family distant from my Hispanic half. I always felt so outcasted from both the black and Hispanic kids because I didn't look like either of them, it was like I was weird or something. It was so frustrating having to 'prove' to people what I am because I didn't have my mom or my dad around. I'm not denying that they're Hispanics with black roots but my mom isn't one of them and if she is it's about as much as my dad has white in him. The idea of having to choose is what

[Cookies_AndMilk]

gets to most of us, you don't need to choose. The problem is people's failure to recognize the both in us. That is what causes an internal divide and develops self hatred. If people or more importantly our parents would recognize we're both, we wouldn't have so many issues within ourselves.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for your response. Often times people think mixed kids have it easy, but that's not the case. I admit they have to easier than me (a black person), but they go through their own struggles as well. Have a good day!

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Thank you so much, and you too. I wish you and your family the very best! <3 :)

[LittleSally]

I agree that it might not be the easiest thing in the world, but then again America is one of the most judgmental countries - the more they forbid you to do something, the more people will do it.

I sincerely doubt people just go out there thinking "I'm going to conceive tonight with someone not of the same race as me just to have a cute baby."
People who love each other and want to have a child - will.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I'm not speaking from skepticism this is from actual experiences with people who have said these things to me in person and people I know. My father even knew a woman from work who was white and had this obsession with dating black men. He asked her why she liked black men so much and everything she said was some racial stereotype involving them being things etc. etc. She also went on to say she wanted to have a mixed baby because of how cute they are and she did not care if the father was in the child's life, she just wanted to have a half black baby. I've personally listened to conversations from girls who will only date black men simply because they're black. The don't care about substance, those guys treat them like crap and they're okay with being a living doormat for the sake of a black man and a mixed baby. Granted the area I'm in most people are just plain bad, but this post was directed to those with that form of thinking. Not regular people.

[LittleSally]

Oh... well then that's pretty terrible.
I didn't know there was such a big community with the same manner of thinking (negative thinking). It would be understandable that people would be weary of dealing with others - or eager to use some idiot who is after only one thing.
There are some crazy people out there.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Lol yes there certainly are. This whole place is just sketchy I would say about 90% of people here think the same way, and it isn't too bright xD

[Blackjack_]

I am white and married to a korean. I am pretty curious about how my babies will turn out 😂 we all have struggle with bullying at some point of our lifes. Being biracial i think can also be beautiful. You get to have two cultures. Feel like i have it just as hard as a white girl marrying into an Asian culture where I am always out of place 😜

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Lol yes the experience may be similar. As long as the two of you teach your children that they're equally one thing as they are the other then they'll be fine. It's just very important to have that cultural identity starting from your home life.

[Blackjack_]

Since we are moving to the states but will be surrounded by his korean family, i think it will be easy to remind the child of both its cultures. I will do my best 😊

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Well that's really awesome of you, glad to see your hearts in it <3 <3

[Primarypoo2]

I'm biracial, my fathers Jamaican and my mothers white. I found life hard, I hated being half black and white. I would never fit in, because at my school, everyone was either, white, black or Asian. Literally nobody was both and it felt really hard to relate to someone.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I completely understand what you mean. It's almost like this sense of shame inside but I've moved far past that. I refuse to identify as just Hispanic or just black I am both and I make sure everyone that knows me knows it too. There's so much beauty in what I have and what you have, I just think people don't understand what it feels like being torn between your two halves.

[Anonymous]

I will have mixed children. I and my boyfriend are very concerned about what they will experience growing up. Neither of us really relate to one race because how white washed we are (no one loves us._.), so our kid might not be able to relate to anyone. We don't know what the future will be like for them.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

May I ask what the two of you are? Are you both mixed and if so with what?

[Opinion Owner]

No we are not mixed. He's mexican and I am black both raised by white parents.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Well that's so interesting. Well if you're both from the U. S. you could teach them about American culture. Culture and race don't need to go hand in hand if you were interested the two of you could learn about you family's lineage along with your children. It may be fun you know?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you had to go through that :(

Im mixed (does arab and european count as mixed? I think so) but I never had a problem with it.. People respected that i am mixed, sometimes they made jokes of course, but that was pretty funny. If people ever 'hated' me of it, just shrug it off or laugh it off, theyre most likely jealous.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Thank you so much for your feedback and yes I would consider that mixed as well. I'm glad you didn't have too hard of a time growing up. I'm fine now lol, I just wanted to put something out their for the people who may still be dealing with things.

[Opinion Owner]

Your advice in your take is good :)
But i honestly dont know why people would 'hate' mixed kids/people. I saw you live in the US, i dont know what it is like there, but here in the netherlands nobody really 'hates' mixed people, maybe thats why it differs

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Some people have a hatred for it but those people are racist. They think racial mixing is an abomination and that it's going to wipe out whatever race they belong to lol. Those people are extremists and I don't pay them much attention. I used to have a "friend" who said it was wrong for people to be mixed, I stopped talking to him as soon as he said that. I think for most people here it's a struggle finding a place to fit in. Some people want to force you to choose which is stupid because it's impossible to choose your race. Other people just don't accept you. I think when you personally decide to accept yourself all of those pressures go away. I personally identify more with mixed people than I do black or Hispanic people. I identify with all of mixed people even if the mixture is different from mine, like yours for example or someone who's white and Asian, or indian and Hispanic, or whatever else. Even though we're different we have something in common.

[Xelebrum]

I am heavily mixed (Puerto Rican, Cuban, Italian, Chinese, Spanish, and Hebrew) and while I was not bullied to the extent that many other mixed kids have, I understand the struggle and I am happy that you wrote this.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I'm glad I was able to make something other mixed people could relate to. I wish you the best in everything. <3

[longjohndan]

So you are saying don't treat kids like you are buying a piece of jewelry? Isn't that kind of true for all kids? Just sayin' my girlfriend and I are different races so im kind of curious.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Of course what I'm aiming for should be applied to all children everywhere, I'm specifically talking to parts who wants biracial children simply because of the aesthetics. I've seen and heard so many people want mixed children just because they were cute, as if we're a designer bag. Biracial kids have a huge internal struggle and I think it requires more effort on the parent's part in developing that child's self image. I have friends that are black and white and are only told they're black because their white family refuses to accept that they're equally a white person as they are black. This builds resentment in yourself and honestly it's so damaging. If the two of you are together for love then that's wonderful, but if you have children make sure they understand they are both, not one over the other and they should never accept someone else's ignorance toward their race.

[longjohndan]

Really , is this really a thing that people want bi racial kids because they think they'll look good? My girlfriend and I get people telling us constantly that we'll have beautiful kids, its kind of weird actually cause we get total strangers saying that to us... but to take it and say I wanna have a bi racial kid because they'll be beautiful seems kinda out there.

[longjohndan]

I guess that's naive on my part, but that thought would never have occurred to me.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

It's bizarre to you because you're one of the few people that actually go for love and not some strange fetish they have. I've had and have overheard so many conversations from people who only want a mixed child because they think mixed people are beautiful. They only want a mixed child because they think it's cute and exotic. They want a mixed child because they hate whatever features they naturally have and don't want to 'curse' their babies with the same. Or they want a mixed child as revenge to daddy and the rest of the family, because they're racist. A lot of people treat mixed people like accessories. My father even told me one day when he came back from work, he was talking to a co worker. He asked her why she liked black men so much, everything that came out of her mouth was some crazy thug stereotype and she finished it off saying "I want a mixed baby, I don't care if the father is in their life or not, I just want to have a mixed child." Tons of people r this way & they do

[Cookies_AndMilk]

more damage than good

[longjohndan]

Well, I sometimes wonder what it means for the kid and how to manage it so I appreciate the perspective. I am always wondering about how society would look at and treat kids. Fortunately, we live in an area where there is a great mix of cultures and races and there are actually a lot of mixed race couples around. My girlfriend is Asian, I am white, but I really think the situation is a lot harder for black/XXXXX mix. I think the stereotyping and bias is a lot stronger there than against white/Asian mix. I don't mean to be offensive in anyway so please don't take it that way, I just think there is some truth in that. Other than that, i like your points about identity and belonging.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

You're actually 100% correct, and I feel the same way as you do. It's really great that you're in a community that is so similar to what your child's home life would be like. I think if the two of you had a kid together it'd be great because you recognize the importance of them understand who they are in its entirety. People outside of your community may not understand, but honestly home life has a much greater impact. If the two of you show teach your future child about both sides of their race, whatever the outside world has to offer will have little effect.

[GreatnessPersonified]

Good Take, but I want to add that mixed children are no different than any other children.
Also, who isn't mixed? Even "full" race people are mixed with something.
I dunno.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

We're no different because we're people all the same but there is a struggle in finding acceptance in yourself and from other people. I am pointing out the importance in emphasizing to your child they are both not just one. And although every race has ancestors of different races that does not mean every person is mixed. You need to have equal parts or a significant amount of something to be mixed. If you are white and 1/16 Native you're not mixed. If you're 50% white and 50% Native then you're mixed. If you're 1/4 white, 1/4 Asian, 1/4 Native, and 1/4 black you're mixed. I like to think of it this way, if you have a glass of water and you drop a pinch of salt into it, it doesn't stop being water. If you add equal parts water, sugar, and lemons, you no longer have water but lemonade. You have a mixture.

[abundantlyrich]

Yeah people just think...

Beautiful looks and trophy babies.

Its shallow but necessarily for survival. More job opportunities, more attractiveness etc

[abundantlyrich]

But still cultural confusion with genetics/ race classifications.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

The only time there's confusion is when people choose to deny or refuse to accept what you are. Being biracial isn't hard to understand you're just both instead of one. The confusion and frustration arises when society can't accept you or you can't accept yourself.

[DarkHumorRUs]

I just have a desire to have kids.

#StopMentioningRace

[Cookies_AndMilk]

What's wrong with mentioning race? It's a beautiful thing.
#StopActingLikeRaceIsABadThing

[DarkHumorRUs]

There's no need to mention it unless you're identifying someone. Just say "kids" instead of "biracial kids". That's how you end racism.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Pretending race doesn't exist doesn't end racism, believing that one race is superior is racism, the problem is within the individual not the within the recognition of race. Because clearly you've missed the entire point of this post.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

This post is for biracial people, and in case you haven't noticed, all the biracial people have been really appreciative of the post so instead of looking for problems try looking for the message.

[thegingersnap16]

According to Answers in Genesis, the only race we have is human.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

@thegingersnap16 Could you not? I'm seriously done trying to argue with people who completely missed the point. If you can't take away something from this, you're part of the problem.

[thegingersnap16]

Well sorry, @myTakeOwner but to think we belong to different races, is well, racist. The Nazi's used that term race to describe there "super-human" blue-eyed Germans. www.newsweek.com/there-no-such-thing-race-283123 Read this if you don't understand what I mean. And if I'm an oozy eye-sore for stating the truth about humanity, you might as well deal with it. I believe that we all come from one Adam and Eve. I trust that though we may appear different physically, that does not destroy or differ our humanity, culturally. I believe that Cain married his sister long ago when population was scarce in the beginning days. (Genesis) I also know from reading the Bible that the Tower of Babel is what divided the human race into different cultures and appearances. I can't make you believe, but that's why I don't think you're correct.

[DarkHumorRUs]

It's basically like if we tried to divide people based on hair color. That'd be ridiculous.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

@thegingersnap16 Because I believe in different races you assume I don't believe in God. How very Christian of you. :) The reality is I do believe in God and I do my very best to serve him each day of my life so thank you so much for behaving out of character of the "christian" you claim to be. To deny different races is like saying there isn't different kinds of dogs and cats. And to say races don't exist is stupid. Acknowledging race isn't racist believing one race is superior or inferior is what racism is. I'm done arguing with you though so do us both a favor and leave me alone because you missed the point. You're part of the problem just know you're hurting people

[FakeName123]

And with many issues in life - just being yourself and not caring about what others might think of you would easily solve it.

[Anonymous]

Puerto Rican and Jamaican are both nationalities not races

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I am aware of this but I'm still mixed. My mother is of the Taino/white Puerto Ricans and my father is a black jamaican. I'm a biracial woman.