After hearing about this story last week, I thought it would bring to light a controversial topic in today's story, and would make for a great take! I hope you enjoy as much as I did writing about it.
Matthew Santoro, a very popular YouTuber whose educational comedy channel has over 5 million subscribers, put a video with a serious vibe, talking about his experience in what he says was an 'emotional and physically abusive relationship' with an unamed girlfriend. He claimed to have recorded the video privately for himself in September, but accidentally made it public. He deleted the video soon after realizing this, and when other people reuploaded it, he decided to make it public again after all the support he was getting from his fans. Further complicating matters, his allegedly abusive ex girlfriend claims he had put the video up for attention.
In the video, Santoro is on the brink of bursting into tears as he talks how his ex made him cut important people out of his life, and how his world 'became about her'.
“This individual I was with was extremely jealous, viciously jealous,” he says. “If I had a female friend, I must have been cheating on her with them.”
He claims that when he tried to leave after experiencing a panic attack one night, that is when the abuse became physical — when he tried to leave the woman's home, she wouldn't let him, and struck him in the face.
A month after the incident, he claims to have took her back — but she continued to be manipulative and jealous.
“Domestic violence knows no gender,” he says. “It happens to men and women.”
Still in tears, he continues: “And it’s something that men never talk about, because we’re made to believe that we’re supposed to be strong. I never talked about it because I thought that no one would believe me, no one would give a shit, and it’s sad that we live in a society where people have to feel like they’re supposed to keep quiet about these things. And it’s wrong.”
Santoro doesn’t name his alleged abuser, but it is blantantly obvious that it is Nicole Arbour, who he had dated last year. Arbour is largely known for her video “Dear Fat People,” a controversial and unfunny series of comments and 'advice' about overweight individuals that miraculously goes on for six minutes.
(Link to video, watch at own risk )
She denied Santoro’s claims on Twitter Tuesday, posting,“Damn right I beat him!! ...at Scrabble, Wii, chess, pretty much everything!!” and “If you are being abused, get help. If you are making up lies to get back at someone for breaking up with u six months ago. Also get help.”
She also mocked Santoro's claims of one of her videos, writing, “Heard that little bitch I dumped months ago is still trying to use me to get attention on his vlog channel. Ew.”
The story is vague up to now, with the exception of an interview given back in September by one of Santoro’s close friends and fellow YouTuber Rob Dyke. Dyke’s story matches up precisely with the events Santoro mentioned, but is much less vague, including claiming that even police got involved at one point. However, he doesn’t claim he was present for the incident of alleged physical abuse, so he’s is going by his friend’s word for that section of the story.
This video goes into more detail about what happened:
My Thoughts
Due to there being two sides to every story, it is near impossible to know who is telling the truth and who is lying. I commend Matthew for being so brave in telling his story however, despite the hate he would get. In this world we live in, men are expected to be tough, macho, and fearless, but when someone of the opposite sex abuses or commits violence on them, they are told to 'suck it up' or 'be a man'. What is "being a man" anyway? Is crying somehow only a feminine quality? I thought that it was a human quality, that both sexes could do openly?
They aren't supposed to feel sadness? They are supposed to suppress their feelings because it is socially unacceptable for a man to express his feelings? That is BS! Men should be allowed to express their feelings without other men bashing them for it! Men should be supportive of other men. They should be lifting each other up in situations like this, not tearing one another down.
Again, good on Matthew for coming out with this story to tell, as it must have been tough to put himself out there in such a vulnerable state.
As for the both of them, I hope they will move on with their lives eventually after experiencing this burst of drama, and that this incident encourages victims of domestic violence--man or woman--to seek help.
Conclusion
If you are being abused in relationship, get help. Don't stay in a toxic environment and let that person destroy you. You are worth it, as Santoro says.
I hope you enjoyed, and takes for reading. Have a great day! <3
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