The N-Word is a word that has a different meanings to different people when it is said by certain demographics. One demographic , black people for example , its not derogatory when they say it, but can be derogatory when other demographics say it. First I'll say how the word changed its meaning when used among black people, after it I will show a widely accepted example of this that no one complains about , last I will compare that commonly accepted example with the N-Word issue and show why its the same concept.
The reason is cultural reappropiation , when a group reclaims a term , symbol, or artifact that was used to demean their group , as their own with a different meaning. In other words, the reason is black people took a word, that's meant to degrade them, as well as lower their status as a human being, as their own and reinvented it as a positive word used among their oppressed group. The meaning of it from members of their own group , black people, isn't the same as when its used by members outside their group, for example white people. From a white person it still means what it meant back then from the white people. What changed is what it means when the oppressed group, black people, say it, not when the previous oppressors say it. As a result, it became a natural and commonly used word among the African American community as we can see today, but still can be deemed offensive if another demographic says it.
We have a commonly accepted example of one group being able to say certain terms to each other in accepted manner , but have it be insulting when another demographic says it. This example is when girls call their girlfriends female derogatory terms, like "bitches" or sluts and its okay, but if all the guys around called her or her friends that, whether its bitches or sluts, those girls would be usually be offended even though they called their girlfriends that. The demographic that can say those terms to each other are girls with their girlfriends, maybe her gay or meterosexual guy friends could too, but the other demographics, her straight guy friends and guys she doesn't know, never go around complaining, "How come they can call each other bitches and sluts but if I do it they get mad or people think I'm a dick?". This never comes up , think if a guy went around to girls he did and didn't know, kept calling them bitches and slutty, then being completely confused why they didn't like him, he turns to us complain, "I kept calling her a slut and she kicked me in the shin, what did I do wrong? She and her girlfriend call each other that sometimes, so she's just really sensitive." We would be saying, "Well yeah I'm sure she did you stupid fuck, you don't just go calling girls bitches and sluts at will. You seem to lack the common empathy and IQ to have a conversation with girl." What made it different was that one demographic , girls and their girlfriends, could say it, without it being an insult , but when the other demographic , her guy friends who weren't looked at as another girlfriend or just random guys, says it to them, its offensive because it has a different meaning then when they say it. Thus, we accept another version of the N-Word issue with no problems , through accepting girls being able to call their girlfriends the b-word , along with other derogatory female terms and phrases.
When it comes down to it, the reason why its accepted that girls can call their girlfriends female derogatory words , while all of her guy friends, who aren't looked at as another girlfriend, along with guys she doesn't know, mostly can't without it being an insult, is a similar reason it can be considered offensive when someone who isn't black using the N-Word, if you understood one of these , you should by the same logic, understand the other. For the comparison, when talking about the N-Word, the demographic that can say it to each other without it carrying a negative meaning is black people, the groups and demographics that almost can't say it without it having an offensive meeting to it aren't black , but do vary by the individual in question. When talking about girls being able to call their girlfriends "bitches" and other deragotry female names, the demographic that can say that them are girls and their girlfriends, like the demographic that can say the N-Word to each other without a negative meaning is black. The demographic that can't call those same girls those same female insults without it being offensive, are their guy friends and guys they don't know, but can vary by the individual girl , for instance her gay guy friend or guy friend who's personality makes him another girlfriend might be able to call her them like her girlfriends could. In the same way the demographic that couldn't call those girls those same female insults they say to each other with no problem , which was most of those girls' guy friends and random guys , is the same as when the groups or demographics that can't say the N-Word without it being offensive most of the time aren't black.
Similar to which specific types of a girl's guy friends can call her , along with her friends, "slutty" , "bitch", and similar depends on the individual girl, like maybe her gay guy friends or similar could say it without a problem, maybe she lets all her guy friends call her that, maybe she doesn't even like her girlfriends calling her that, the general natural empathetic assumption is for guys NOT to call girls bitches and sluts. Depending on the individual African American your talking about, they may not like any other demographic say it other than black, they could be fine with some others saying it but not all of them, some don't care when any demographic says it, I know some that don't even like it when African Americans say it, but like the general assumption with girls and derogatory female names, you DON'T call them the N-Word or say it. If a guy heard a girl's gay guy friend say , (imagine an excited gay guy voice) "OHHH MYY GODDD! Haha We are such bitches." , the girl laughs in response. Then that guy went up to that girl whether he knew her or not and kept calling her a "bitch", when she clearly was offended and kept telling him to stop them shot an insult back calling him a dumbass. His response to her and everyone who was watching the whole thing , "What?! Her guy friend said she was a bitch and she laughed, why did she get mad when I said it? If its okay when that guy friend says it then its okay for all guys to say it." They'd be saying he's a dumbass. Thats the exact same thing when a white person thinks because one or a group of black people aren't bothered when a different race said the N-Word and thinks it means its always the same way for all demographics. Which demographics can say it without it being offensive is up to the individual, so imagine that girl is a black person, that gay friend is some other race other than black who said the N-Word kind of how black people say it , and that guy who kept calling the girl a bitch is a white guy saying the N-Word over and over and not knowing why its not okay with the black person. Its typically going to be perceived worse from a white person than any other group. In the end, they have a strong relation in the reasoning behind them, if you agree that guys shouldn't or wouldn't go around calling girls bitches and sluts whenever they want, expecting it to be okay, then you don't agree with races other than black saying the N-Word even though black people say it, also by the same logic , if you still think that any race can say the N-Word to black people whenever they want , with no repercussions, or expectations of them being offended, because black people can say it, then you also think any guy can go up to girls he does or doesn't know, then call them all bitches, sluts, or similar as he pleased because girls can say it with their girlfriends.
Not only that but white people have no use for the word in general. The only reason you even talk about it is because someone told you that you can't. Its in human nature to want something when someone tells us we can't have it. The only time you would even use it if you were imitating black people for the moment.
In conclusion, the N-Word was a word that was meant to degrade, as well as belittle African Americans as people, also as humans, the African Americans took the word as their own and reassociated it in their culture, so it carries a different meaning when said by the oppressed group but didn't change the offensive meaning it carried when the oppressor group says it, we accept a similar issue when girls and their girlfriends can call each other sluts , bitches, as well as other female derogatory terms in a friendly manner , but have it be accepted that its usually offensive when their guy friends or random guys say it to them, I showed how the N-Word issue and the girls calling their girlfriends female derogatory names being okay is extremely similar, if you accept or understand one, you accept the other, also if you disagree with one, you disagree with the other , both scenarios by the same logic.
If you still don't understand why black people can say the N-Word and have it not be offensive , but it can be offensive when someone other than black says it, then ask yourself, given girls can call their girlfriends bitches or sluts, would it be appropriate for a guy to walk up to a group of girls he just met and say, "Hey all you bitches over there!" He points to a girls best friend, "Who's this bitch!" "Nice to meet you bitch!" When those girls get clearly upset or just walk away from him, would you be confused why, or would you side with the guy who thinks he's not doing anything wrong.
Another example, if you're a guy , imagine you're with the most important girl in the world with you, or if your a girl, imagine your with your significant other in this one. You're in public and a random guy walks up to you , if you're a girl, or to that most important girl to you if you're a guy, then says "Hey BITCH! ..." , at this point the the girl or you give him a WTF reaction, he immediately says, " whats your problem BITCH, i just greeted you?" At this point the girl or you tell him to stop calling you a bitch, your clearly upset at this point. His response was " well I hear girls call their girlfriends bitches and its not offensive , so that means I can say it to whichever girl I want to when I want and they can't get offended. So I get to tell you whether or not your offended." Then he tells your boyfriend , or you if you're a guy, "tell this bitch to shut her mouth, this bitch is overly sensitive, talk some sense into her!"...
(Him telling her he's the one who tells her whether or not she's offended or should be, is the equilant of someone telling a black person whether or not he can be , or is offended.)
Now what would you think the response should and would be? If it would be a negative response then that reasoning is the almost the same as why its negative for other races to do that to black people when they use the N-Word.
If you think the guy's, or SO's response should be a passive , "yeah, she's a hypocrite, I'm sorry she made you look like dick. She's just overreacting." Then please say so on here. :)
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