Having An 'Ideal Body' - Not A Big Deal To Me

[Luci92]

I am going to try extremely hard not to come across as arrogant, conceited or vain in this Take. I am none of these things, and while I have a relatively positive outlook on my body, I do not place myself above/or compare myself against another human because of it.

Okay, so there are two common 'ideal' body types as portrayed by the media, one being relatively skinny, and the other being 'curvy' which by that I interpret as having a small waist, wider hips, and a large butt and breasts. By no reason other than purely genetics, I have the latter body type.

The aim of this Take, plain and simple, is to explore how having what is widely viewed and portrayed as an 'ideal body' doesn't actually make much of a difference in my life to me, nor does it make me feel better about who I am as a person.

I'm in high school, so there's a lot of pressure to look and act a certain way, while still 'retaining individuality' and to 'not conform'. Blah blah blah, it's all crap.

Now, there's a common consensus that large breasts and large butts appeal to high school boys, and from what I've experienced, it's not wrong. (Sorry to the teenage boys who don't feel this way, I know you're out there, and I don't mean to generalize). This is likely due to factors like the media, society and porn etc. But that's another debate.

I've been told in the same and different words:

"Nice ass -I'd love to grab it,"

"You have tits like a porn star",

"You've got great curves,"

Etc etc...

Now, some people would be perfectly happy to hear things like these, and fair enough, for a long while, I was too. But I've come to the conclusion that sure, while a superficial compliment may feel good in the moment, I'd rather be complimented for something that is unique to me, something that I did and I am responsible for, like my personality or characteristics rather than for features I received in the 'genetic lottery'. I didn't work hard for my body, in fact I have a lazy ass, sedentary lifestyle and in no way do I make any attempt to maintain my figure!

I read a wonderful Take by @SweetHomicidalQueen and she wrote this in response to a Take that in her words was '1. complaining and 2. showing off that he was good looking. Attractive people whom know they're attractive tend to be cocky about it.' And I definitely don't want this to turn into something like this!!

She also says 'When someone complains about how being good looking is so difficult for X, Y and Z reasons, it's literally just another way to show off that they're good looking. We get it! You're attractive! We don't need to be reminded every god damn day. Complaining about being attractive (in my eyes) is just like complaining about having too much money.' Check out the full version of her Take here.

This isn't about me bragging about my supposed 'admired features' (which is regardless anyway as beauty and physically attractive features are subjective), or even complaining about 'how difficult it is' the point I am trying to make is that for me at least, being complimented about features isn't a big deal. I do not get a sense of fulfillment when someone says something, in fact, most days I still feel like a shitty person. These comments don't, in the grand scheme of things, make life easier or harder.

And, regardless of what people tell me, I still have confidence issues, I still have issues with the way I perceive myself, I still get really anxious going swimming with people, and I get anxious about wearing clothes that are figure-hugging. I'm still trying to practice self love, and it's a challenge I face daily, regardless on whether people comment on my 'ideal body'.

For anyone striving to look a certain way purely to seek approval of other people to feel better about themselves, I ask you to rethink what you consider important. Having an 'ideal body' certainly does have its superficial benefits, and if this makes you feel better and gives you a confidence boost, than go for your life, but for me, it doesn't make me feel any better about who I am as a person.

Check out these really helpful BuzzFeed videos I've watched, that also assisted me in writing this Take.

If you do disagree with any of the points I've made, please do so politely. Thank you for reading :)

[AllThatSweetJazz]

I would rather be complimented on my body -- and I think one would appreciate that kind of thing more if they have experienced not being attractive. When you fix a flaw, you tend not to notice. Before, you were worrying about it and though it would be fantastic to be better/fixed. But once you've changed you won't feel amazing like you might have thought you would but you may notice (and it doesn't often come right away) that you're not feeling bad anymore, which is actually good if you really know the difference.

I absolutely want the reverse of what you said about being complimented. I want something innate, something I *just have* that people like -- and the body is a great example. Something tangible that I have without having to think about not something I"m 'responsible' for. Being complimented for these things I'm 'responsible' for make me feel like I"m liked because I resemble a caricature in your mind and that you're not really into me specifically, then it's like I'm trying to live up to this caricature all the time.

What you find complimentary will be based off of what you can personally appreciate though knowing the contrast.

Although crass may it have been, what if those guys saying those things to you felt that it's more powerful to make you feel wanted/accepted/valued for qualities that are fundamentally and intrinsically a part of you? Does viewing it through that lens, make it seem a bit more meaningful?

[Luci92]

I do see your point, you've made a very valid argument.
From that perspective, it does seem more meaningful.

[popsickle]

How come there are so many posts lately about body image/fat shaming? More than usual. Did something happen that was publicized? I feel like I'm missin something here

Anyways, becoming comfortable in your body is a process and may be a more active process. Keep it up, your body is sacred and uniquely yours :)

[meatballs21]

Beach bod season approacheth.

[popsickle]

@meatballs21 Ah. okay that could be it.

[Luci92]

Well here it's winter :P but I've been motivated to write this take based off a few others I read, which in turn, probably fuels other people too.
Thank you :)

[Ethrealness]

Buzzfeed is a very biased source to get your material from.. but "MyTakes" aren't exactly filled with facts so I guess it doesn't matter. They're a very left-wing, feminist organization with far-fetched beliefs. They brainwash impressionable high school and college students (and probably younger) people every day into believing body acceptance at all sizes, the wage gap, gender inequality, cultural appropriation, racism, BLM, white privilege, rape culture, etc. Those are just a number of things they continue to spread around like a disease. They've been discounted and are conspiracy theories yet people buy into them still, and liberal professors still teach this. Just to clarify, body acceptance is positive to a degree... they encourage not only normal-sized people to accept that they don't look like women from hollywood, but they also encourage overweight and even obese women to accept their bodies, claiming you can still be "healthy" while dangerously overweight. That is completely false and needs to stop being spread around. Women and people in general are much happier and healthier when they work out and strive to look and feel their best.

[Luci92]

Interesting information about Buzzfeed, while I agree that if your health is at risk from your weight, you should work out, I still appreciate some of the messages Buzzfeed presents. But I'm but a naive teenager, so who knows.

[meowcow]

I don't think the media is the generator of the "ideal" body image.
It is the public who consumes this material that creates it, and the media is reacting to the pressures placed on them by the public.

You see, at some point in time, media executives noticed that when they had skinnier models on their covers, people bought more of their magazines and talked more about their articles. Their analysts determined that "people want skinny models in their magazines". Media which featured larger women, or out-of-shape people simply did not sell. Those who continued to feature body types that the public did not want would eventually go bankrupt.

This is perpetuated by young people today buying teen magazines featuring dolled-up models. If you don't buy it, the media will change their tactics by analyzing the things you DO like. But alas, that is highly unlikely to happen.

I have never seen any magazine call their slim models the "ideal body" image. I think that's something the public have created themselves, and pretended that the media is responsible for generating that concept.

[ObscuredBeyond]

I wouldn't mind meeting a gal that looked like this:

vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/.../...aTarington.jpg

For now, though, she may be just a fantasy.

[Luci92]

Nice! Good luck :)

[JohnDoe3000]

I think this whole mytake is a bit like saying "I was born in Canada, but I don't feel any better of it, people born in Somalia ould stop complaining."

I'm a guy and even I notice how pretty women consistently get more attention and help and people are friendlier to them, etc... It's annoying to then hear these same women tell you how everyone is so nice and helpful "around here", like they just don't have a clue because it's been like that their whole lives.

I can only imagine how it must be for less pretty women who see this happening around them... Of course this should never be an excuse not to work hard or try to lose weight, etc... but I get where these less pretty women are coming from when they complain.

Thank god there are also pretty women who weren't pretty when they were kids so they have a different attitude and know what's up.

[BuchitaBuchys]

This ^^^^

[rosey_bananas]

I think this is one of those things where you don't have much credibility talking about how it affects your life until you've either been on the "Lacking" end (not an ideal body) or have experienced both sides (having both an ideal and not ideal body) at some point in your life. It kind of goes with the saying you don't know what you have till it's gone. Sure you don't think about your body a lot now and it doesn't seem to play a big role in your life and that's a good thing, because otherwise that could be a little vain. But I think someone with a less than ideal body would have more to say about how it affects her self esteem, perceptions and interactions, possibly.

[Luci92]

That's very true, and I am a very biased source. I think it would be different coming from the opposite end, for sure.

[FallOutBoy2001]

I enjoyed the myTake, specifically the bit about high school and conforming while not conforming.

To be honest, I gave up on conforming. Everyone else at the school is wearing shorts that cover less than a bikini does? I'm wearing the same jeans I always wear. Everyone descides sweatpants are the new cool? Nope, I'm wearing those jeans I've been wearing. Suddenly people descide that skinny jeans are "in"? These jeans are still comfortable. Everyone wears my jeans? Eh, who gives a crap? I have my jeans and regardless of who else wears them, I will wear them. My style doesn't depend on who's wearing what, it's what makes me comfortable and I enjoy wearing.

The faster you can work out that you should base your style on what's comfortable for you, the more enjoyable life is

[Luci92]

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Yeah all these trends that change each week are a bit ridiculous and get a little tiring after a while. I'm actually so glad my school has a uniform, but on casual days, everyone still looks the same and dresses a certain way 😂😪 it's like the Stepford Wives.
I totally agree with everything you said though, 110%.

[MakeShiftThug]

media.giphy.com/media/7hCY0cBt54Eve/giphy.gif
You are in highschool so your perspective might change later on... but cool take.

I don't really believe there's one ideal body. In my opinion, beauty is in the eye of the beholder; that which one person finds beautiful or admirable may not appeal to another.

[Luci92]

Thanks, it probably will.

I 100% agree with you on that one.

[MakeShiftThug]

media.giphy.com/media/bAUp9Lcx1HY4/giphy.gif
Respect fam!

[Luci92]

Ahahaha thanks! :)

[Bandit74]

Nobody's life is without struggles or hardships but being conventionally attractive is advantageous over being average or unnatractive. Same thing with wealth, being birn into a wealthy family is advantageous over being born to a poor or average family but there are still other variables that affect what kind of struggles you face.

Also I actually find it more annoying when people who are clearly better looking and more intelligent than the average person tries to downplay their attributes. I'd much rather have them be realistic about it. When a person who is better looking or smarter than me is like "oh me? Im just average" in my head Im like " fuck you you condescending prick, if you're just average then where the fuck does that leave me?"

I obviously don't say that to them though =.=

I think its just fake humility. They know they are smart and attractive but want people to think they are super humble and down to earth too >.<

[BuchitaBuchys]

I wish I could like this 100000x lol

[Bandit74]

@BuchitaBuchys
I wish you could too 😛

[Relentless_Hippie]

Ew, those are not compliments. Whoever talks to someone like that is just gross.

https://data.whicdn.com/images/144944130/large.gif

[Luci92]

I agree. Most teenage boys don't understand what compliments are or what class is. They're disgusting comments and reading them makes me cringe.

[Relentless_Hippie]

Yeah definitely lol. xD

[KittieCat]

This is beautifully written, I struggle with my own body image and this was really nice to read. Thanks! ❤

[Luci92]

I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you enjoyed it <3 You're very welcome :)

[Anonymous]

static.independent.co.uk/.../karen-meangirls.jpg

[somebodysaycheese]

They didn't just change the bodies of the guys but tweaked the faces as well.

[Mesonfielde]

Eh, I don't find the two girls linked as possible ideals attractive, but good for you that you won the genetic lottery :p it helps in all aspects of life

[Grungenoreos]

Lmfao nah it really don't. After all you once said it shouldn't matter and caring about it is something wrong. By the way I sort of have to take measurememts all the time. Its part of my aquatic fitness program at school

[Grungenoreos]

I notice a bunch of gag dudes like you. They say one thing some where else and than other on a different place on here. I find it hypocritcal how y'all act like it doesn't matter how good we look and then start talking about how good it is to look goodm make up your damn mind

[Mesonfielde]

@Grungenoreos well technically what you do about your looks is far less important than how your looks are defined innately by your genetic structure.

[Grungenoreos]

And its my genes to be an hourglass. Almost every woman in my blood line was one that i know of

[Grungenoreos]

But seriously though how do you except others to not feel insecure about themselves if you go around praising good looks. I have good genes. My father was a good athlete and a soldier. We have powerful people in my family and he was one of them. One of the strongest men I ever knew, both physically and mentally. My grandmother is 71 and still kicking it and can do things most 71 years can't do and looks young for her age. Not to mention she along with many other women had that hourglass measurments going on.

[Grungenoreos]

My grandmother still gets hit on to this day and at 38 she was still having teenage men and college men crushing on her, not knowing she was way past their age and married too. Good genes run in my family. I only spoke of two people...

[Grungenoreos]

My point is... IT DON'T MEAN SHIT. Whoever that thinks it does is clearly being a bit naive

[Mesonfielde]

@Grungenoreos Actually you've just specified the fact that genetics are very important, as I said

[Grungenoreos]

Nahh its not because at the end of the day it doesn't mean much. I mentioned my good genetics because its what I have but it doesn't make me any more beautiful than other women i know who dont have"great" genes. But nah it doesn't mean shit

[Grungenoreos]

Reason being is because there are plenty of people with not so great genes that turn out beautiful and plus loooks change. Either simply due to ageing or bad habits. For instance I have an uncle who was deemed very attractive at one point... Now not so much at all. I have no idea if it was just his poor habits or his problems that changed him as well. But ya

[BlueCoyote]

@Grungenoreos However, good looks have been proven numerous times to be advantageous in certain life situations, such as job interview. The same is true for height in men. Though some powerful men (such as politicians or CEOs) are also short, an unlikely high number of successful, powerful men are tall. It surely doesn't mean that you're a better person but it would be naive to believe that good looks make no difference at all. We're all just humans and we like certain things. Frequently, such decisions are not even made consciously. For example as an employer, I wouldn't deliberately choose the job applicant with the long legs and large boobs over the short, overweight girl if they had the exact same qualifications, but rational thinking is not everything. So I might go for the hot applicant without any good reason, simply because my subconscious tells me so.

[Grungenoreos]

@BlueCoyote Thats just an excuse. As my logistic teacher says, you make the choices because you want to. You dont just "subconsciously" do it. And I am saying great genes don't matter too much because I have beautiful, healthy genes in my family but I am super ugly appearance wise.

[Grungenoreos]

@BlueCoyote That just sounds wrong. You choosing the tall girl with big boobs. People like you aren't what we need as employers. We need honest men full of integrity that care more about having someone that actually can get the job done and not just some pretty bitch

[Grungenoreos]

@BlueCoyote its peoppe like you two men that cause insecurities to happen. If you dont want to deal with insecure people then stop acting like looks are so good. You aren't doing anything for someone whem you tell them they shouldn't care and then next thimg you are praising someone's looks.

[Grungenoreos]

I know I am a good person. I know I am strong. I know I am smart. I know I am kind hearted and loyal as fuck. So why should my looks even matter? Why choose a fake ass bitch thats good looking (you never know with us girls , we be wearing masks) over someone that actually can bring meaning into your life

[Grungenoreos]

But of course I suppose you guys are right. No one wants an ugly but beautiful on the inside person that loves doing her duties the best she can and has a lot more to offer than just a pretty face and hot bod. I have so much to offer I ain't even kidding.

[BlueCoyote]

@Grungenoreos I don't think you understand the power of the subconscious. My mother is a psychologist and I can tell you that I know a thing or two about this stuff. Look, 90-95% of all the decisions you make in your daily life are made by your subconscious. Your logistics teacher might disagree with this but that simply means he doesn't know anything about psychology. And just to make this clear: this is not just some random claim or hypothesis, it's a fact that has been proven numerous times in empirical studies. I'll give you another example: it has been proven that teachers favor students with certain names and discriminate other kids with certain names. This is NOT done deliberately. It's NOT a deliberate act of malice. Most teachers try hard to be neutral and fair but this happens nonetheless. In Germany, psychologists were able to prove that employers favored a German last name in a job application to a foreign-sounding last name, ESPECIALLY if that foreign last name was

[BlueCoyote]

Albanian or Serbian (usually ending in -ic). This favoring happened ALTHOUGH the two applicants had the exact same qualifications. Everything about these invented applicants was exactly the same, except their names. Now, does this mean that the majority of German employers are racists? Of course not. But it proves that EVEN IF WE TRY to be neutral and fair, we are influenced by our subconscious. This is of names true but also of looks and other things.

Therefore, you've completely misunderstood me. I am not saying I would deliberately choose a hot woman with large breasts as my employee, I am saying that I would PROBABLY pick her due to my subconscious. There's a huge difference.
And to come back quickly to what your logistics teacher said: what he doesn't understand is that conscious decisions usually depend heavily upon subconscious decisions. By the time we actively and consciously decide to perform a certain deed, our subconscious has made this decision for us long time ago.

[Grungenoreos]

@BlueCoyote Thats an excuse. Most people dont own up to their mistakes because of stuff like this. We are more aware than we think we are. Oh and he knows physiology. He studied anthropology and human behavior analysis too.

[Grungenoreos]

@BlueCoyote You don't just subconsciously choose an employee. You made that decision because you were drawn by her looks. This is why we have a lot of workers that dont know their shit. But seriously, I know about the power of subconscious but in a daily job, you just do something just because. They are important decisions made by our own will, especially when on duty

[Grungenoreos]

I perosnally feel bad for your employees and could have been employees. You don't just automatically choose someone because of their looks. Thats why so many people have fallen stupidly by the hands of a beautiful person. They aren't viewing the full picture and are easily distracted by what looks good instead of making the right choice

[Grungenoreos]

I know a dude like you that screwed one of my friends over. He thinks he is such a good guy and all and that its okay to choose the younger and more beautiful people. He doesn't even realize how much of an ass he actually is because he always doing shit subconsciously. That is no excuse for what a shitty person he is inside (he has problems but doesn't seem to know it)

[BlueCoyote]

@Grungenoreos Omg this was an EXAMPLE. I'm not an employer, I'm trying to explain a point. But nevermind. This discussion is pointless.

[Grungenoreos]

Oh and my logistics teacher knows a lot about physiology. He took it along with anthropology and human behavior analysis.

[Grungenoreos]

I have another teacher who also told me, if you are way past caring about the looks of people around you, you are way ahead of the game. Because at the end of the day what matters is who we are as a person. Looks change and they fade and one day this life will be no more. Many people die superficial and thats sad

[BlueCoyote]

@Grungenoreos Hey, whatever. You're still a kid and in high school. I've got an M. A and I'm almost 11 years older than you.. But if you think you know everything better, then please, go on believing that. There's no point in arguing about this anymore because clearly, you don't get my point.

[Grungenoreos]

@BlueCoyote Lol I just graduated and no I dont think I know everything but that doesn't make you right. You sound very superficial. Your work environment, who is able to get the job done better, and your career should matter more than some chick's looks. You know i am right. That doesn't make me some bitch that is a know it all. If you got to know me you would know that I am open minded and always ready to learn something new.

[Grungenoreos]

@BlueCoyote oh nevermind. I didn't see your other comment

[Grungenoreos]

@BlueCoyote Hey wisdom comes with age but there are many people that are in their 50s and still dont know much. We all are smart in different aspects of life... Again I know I don't know everything. Which is why I am very open to learning things and finding out more about TRUTH

[Grungenoreos]

@BlueCoyote But I ain't for superficiality.

[Grungenoreos]

Your degree only matters to a certain extent. Its like me and my brother getting post high school placement in math, science, and spelling in 11th grade. That doesn't mean others who aren't as educated are dumb and don't know things better in any way. Education only means so much.

[Mesonfielde]

@BlueCoyote Totally random fact, but my subconscious would probably choose the slightly overweight, shorter girl instead of the long legs. I've never been into long legs.

But I know that's beside the point, I wanted to mention it anyways :P

[Anonymous]

i don't know why but im almost 100% sure that you actually suffer self esteem issues and you take like 2453463 selfies a day for your friends to comment on how "beautiful" you are.

It's incredible.

[Luci92]

Nah I actually hate selfies, never taken one in my life.

[John_Doesnt]

Idea body type is in the eye of the beholder. So many dudes are chubby chasers.

[Music_Hangover]

I don't like my body. It's awkward XD and is shameful compared to... others. But hopefully I can get it to the way I want

[Dtegesd123]

Why were these people not saying bieber was photoshopped too?

[Luci92]

At 3:00 into the video, they do talk about it.

[Anonymous]

What I hate mostly is, when people comment "you are lazy" if you don't have the ideal body for your gender according to what the media says.

Like the media is always right. I feel sorry for those people.

[Luci92]

Yeah, I feel you.

[Shorty1991]

No biggie to me either.

[Luci92]

That's good :)

[ConsultantIsBack]

Having an amazing body is a great way to go in life tho guys, I promise