Getting Drunk Is YOUR Fault and Yes, There Are Consequences

[Callieeee]

It's simple: unless someone holds you down and forces a bottle of vodka down your throat, you are by your own volition choosing to hinder your sense of judgement. If you get knocked up while you're drunk, well, maybe you should've thought about that before you went and got sauced.

If someone takes advantage of you because you're drunk, yes they are a piece of shit who should rot in jail, but you're also an idiot. Oh wait I'm sorry, you were just "having fun" and no one should obstruct your right to "have fun," should they? You should be able to get as drunk as you like wherever you like without having to worry about those pesky bad people out there right?

I'm sure it'd be nice to be able to do whatever the fuck you like with no thought of personal safety, but this real life. This isn't Care Bear Fun Land where you can leave your doors unlocked or walk down any dark alley and act like there's nothing that could possibly go wrong. But some people think like that, they think, "oh I'll be a moron and then cry when it blows up in my face and no one has the right to judge me."

I will judge you and I'm not the villain for doing so. I'm the voice of common sense trying desperately to permeate this victim complex and abject disinterest in personal responsibility. When you decide to get plastered as fuck and it ends up with you getting fucked while you're unconscious, you know what? You're an idiot. No you didn't deserve it; yes the rapist is still a rapist and that's bad, but if you just hadn't made such stupid choices, you know what else? It wouldn't have even happened. Imagine that.

Look, this applies to alcohol, it applies to drugs, it applies to all the moronic things people do that get themselves hurt.

Poor choices people. That's all it is. Poor choices that lead to terrible outcomes. Being drunk just makes you more prone to them and that part is YOUR fault.

it doesn't take a brain surgeon to realize that in ALL circumstances, your actions have consequences and you need to take responsibility for your safety. Because the world outside your home is not your safe space where you can throw caution to the wind.

[bbch25]

Yes, I say this!

While I don't condone anyting a bad person does, and it shouldn't take away any of their punishment because you gave them the "means" to do it by being unconscious on the ground.
When I go out and leave the door unlocked, if someone goes in and steals something people will say how that sucks, I'll probably get some compensation but I'll still get told off for not locking the door.

My SOs motorbike insurance mandates that it needs to be chained up, if it's not and it's stolen they don't have to pay. It being stolen isn't his fault. Him PREVENTING it being stolen is.

Crime PREVENTION is as important as for offenders as it is for victims. I walk down a lit street. I avoid night time walks alone in bad areas. Always make sure I'm out with a charged phone just in case. Lock my car/house doors. I don't drink unless I know how I am getting home/where I am staying and who I am out with. That's me preventing bad outcomes.

If something still happens, then at least I tried to keep myself safe.

Does the girl who's unconscious deserve it? No. That person should've picked her up and taken her to cops, or called the cops, or an ambo whatever. But if my SO breaks his arm riding a bike, would you not think to yourself "well, if you had of worn that armour or not chosen a dangerous hobby, you wouldn't have gotten hurt".

We need to take responsibility for OURSELVES too, like we do our possessions. It doesn't mean we aren't allowed sympathy or people to feel for us after what happens though.

[RationalMale]

Nice take and agree.

If I get drunk and get in a brawl... my fault.

if I get drunk and drive... my fault.

If I get drunk and knock a girl up... my fault.

Likewise, if a girl gets drunk and goes home with some guy for drunk sex... her fault.

[krash2002]

I've sadly had more than enough friends go through the horrible experience of being raped, and it is terrifyingly sad ordeal.

This take is great in response to be aware, and I've read a lot of both the male and female responses. Both make valid points. On one side, those who are drunk and get raped should not have been drinking so much. On the other side, someone should be free to get drunk with friends and not worry about being raped.

The big variable here is safety. Going out to a bar by yourself, or getting separated from your friends while being drunk can put you in harms way. Can this be avoided to some degree; yes. Should it have to be avoided or is it fair; absolutely not.

I think the OP is speaking from the ideology of those victims that drank to the point of not being conscious to make accurate decisions and were not within the confines of a safe environment. This thought process of victim's being informed that they put themselves in harm's way is a difficult thing to swallow. There are often time's too many variables to pinpoint that one specific mistake that could have caused the entire situation to have been bypassed, but in retrospect. Removing yourself from being drunk around those you know won't have your best interest at heart by the nights end. Is putting yourself in danger. Whether it be drunk driving, getting mugged, raped, or even falling down a flight of steep stairs when there was an elevator near by.

Situation's like those mentioned above can be avoided by making sure that you're cushioned with safety measure's that can help alleviate yourself from a bad scenario.

In general, I see the disasters of getting drunk kind of like swimming across a very large lake. Do you have to do it? No. Should you train to prepare yourself for it? Of course. Would stretching before hand help remove possible cramps? Absolutely. Does having a friend with a boat or jet ski near by just in case something goes wrong be beneficial? You betcha.

I don't think blaming victim's is the right course of action, but educating people on what to avoid is a better one. Such as be aware of your surrounding's at all time, and make sure to never go anywhere alone. If someone is raped while being drunk. Then that's a horrible ordeal and the rapist is at fault. The only but in this situation is to try to avoid being put into a situation as best as one can.

[Bandit74]

I look at it like this:t here is the rape and the situation that lead to the rape.

The person who got drunk is never at fault foe the actual rape but they are someyimes at fault for making a series of dumb decisions that resulted in them being in a vulnerable position. Her being drunk doesn't mean she deserved to be raped or that the rapist was justified but she undeniably put herself in a scenario that made it more likely to happen.

However, the rapist is 100% at fault of taking advantage of them while they were in that vulnerable position. The rapist is ALWAYS at fault for the actual rape but the victim is sometimes at fault for putting themselves in a position that makes them an easier target for rape.

Like if I leave a convertible parked in a shitty neighborhood, that doesn't mean I deserve to have my car stolen just because the keys are left in it but most people would agree I was foolish to have left the keys and parked it in a shady neighborhood. We live in an imperfect world and its in our best interest to analyze risk and avoid it where possible.

[Callieeee]

Exactly

[BuchitaBuchys]

I live in the hood, and a nice car is a lot less likely to get robbed than a carcacha

[Bandit74]

@BuchitaBuchys
Really?

[BuchitaBuchys]

Yes, in fact, that's what we call "bait" cars. I know lots of "shoppers" (that's the street name for car thieves) and the main cars they go for are cheap, shitty lemon cars

[Bandit74]

@BuchitaBuchys
Are you friends with the shoppers or do you just know them?

[BuchitaBuchys]

Friends with some, more like acquaintances. Grew up with them and they leaned to that life, I do my own thing, and now just drifted apart.

[Hidden_P]

Considering the tone of this myTake I don't feel the need to apologise first for this statement.

Have you been living in a cave of stupidity or were you born this retarded? Don't lump everyone in one boat.

"You had a drink, you are responsible for being raped" no!! People can slip things, and you shouldn't have to constantly watch your actions for other people being bad people.
"Well, you weren't mature, you deserved to be abused as a child" is a similar argument to what you are proposing.

This "take" is offensive, generalistic and lacks any insight other than the words of an unintelligent, close minded individual. You should be ashamed.

[genuinlysensitive]

"You had a drink, you are responsible for being raped" Nowhere in the take was this said, or even paraphrased. Good job committing libel, in an attempt to generate false outrage, because you didn't agree with something someone said!

[zagor]

"You had a drink, you are responsible for being raped" . The take says nothing of the sort! She isn't talking about girls who were roofied, she is talking about deliberately getting so trashed that one can't physically and mentally take common precautions. If I go to the worst part of the city deadass drunk and wake up beaten and robbed, how much sympathy do I deserve? Yeah, someone else committed a criminal act, but who enabled them to do so?

[Ozanne]

Good MyTake :) There is a thing called taking precautionary measures. We do it when we travel to unsafe countries. We do it if we decide we want to take up membership at the rod and gun club. We do things that in some way, puts insurance on what we are about to do. If one chooses to get drunk when they know they are heading in for some bad news - no matter what the situation, the precautionary measure here would be to keep your wits about you (stay sober) and you thumb on the 911 speed-dial.

It's reasons that you stated that defense lawyers have a field day with [women] who get drunk and put themselves in dangerous situations to begin with. I'm not saying the perpetrators are in the right - but the person who makes the decisions to take a risk should be self-accountable. I choose not to put myself in harm's way of something I don't trust, therefore I choose to do other things where I have more control. It's that easy.

[BuchitaBuchys]

The fact that so many men agree with this is troubling. You don't realize it, but you're actually victim blaming.

Let's take it further shall we?
Women in the middle east, you looked at a man who wasn't a your relative or husband? It's YOUR fault! Take responsibility! Kids who were preyed upon by priests? We can't teach them this "victim" complex right? Let's teach them while they're young, it's YOUR fault! You would not have gotten raped had you not spent time with that priest.
Disabled people? Fuck it, no one is a "real" victim, they probably could have done more to prevent their abuse too. Take responsibility you bastards!

*in case the sarcasm isn't obvious. I don't actually agree with this. But it sounds as ridiculous to hear this, as to tell girls who were roofied or taken advantage of while unconscious that it's their fault.

[Kylesar]

Funny, because not only did she say if she was raped, it's the rapist's fault, but the cases are CLEARLY different

In your first analogy, you use a plance where women are heavily oppressed
In the second AND third, you use someone defenseless who aren't CAPABLE of handling their own

Of course if she's taken advantage of, it's not her fault, but it could've been avoided. If there's a dark alley and you KNOW there's a risk of you getting hurt, if you walk down it, sure it's not your fault that you got attacked and mugged, but it could've been avoided

It's on no one to ensure your safety but yourself.

You can't teach a rapist to not rape, so you have to teach preventative measures. If telling someone to take control of their own safety is victim blaming, then we live in a doomed world

If we can't tell people to not do shit that'll put them in a dangerous situation, we're doomed

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Kylesar all rape cases are clearly different. Funny.

And no, you actually are supporting rapists when you say "there are preventative measures". You say 'it's not your fault, but had you not drank you wouldn't have been raped". They hear "it's her fault I took advantage of her (if they even think they're wrong that is, many don't because oh gee, saying things like "you shouldn't have done this" sure makes it seem like you're placing the onus of responsibility to prevent rape on victims.
Whether you like it or not, you're contributing to this mindset that only certain victims are "truly" blameless.

Also, you're not stopping rape. You're just stopping HER from getting raped. Because like it or not, alcohol wasn't the reason she got abused. It was because of her rapist. You're changing the victims behavior, but not the rapist, so he will just get the next unlucky victim.

[Dimmu]

mentioning middle east just to feel better about yourself and look sophisticated just shows how isolated you are
i am in middle ease, and my ex wife was bisexual and cheated on me with a man, this is not the image you are giving about the middle east you know nothing about

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Dimmu this isn't an "men are terrible" post. It's about how you can fit the narrative of "controlling your behavior" - not dressing provocatively, not engaging in "risky" behaviors like drinking AND STILL BE RAPED

[Kylesar]

No, your analogies had NOTHING to do with rape or anything similar. It could have its own completely separate argument. That's its OWN issue.

You can't stop rape. Trust me, everyone would love to live in a world where rape doesn't happen. Be we don't, so we take down as many rapists as possible and prevent as many victims as possible

We have to have BOTH sides to stop rape. Otherwise, we only take down rapists AFTER they strike, which is too late. With preventative measures in place, we stop rape BEFORE it happens.

If you stop rape before it happens, you won't have victims to blame

[genuinlysensitive]

Lol someone went way way way way of the reservation! To be honest I don't think she read this at all...

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Kylesar again, you're contributing to victim blaming. Duh, obviously not all rape will stop, but it's obviously not working how we set everything in the rapists favor. Lenient prison sentences for even child rape? Check. Not believing victims or even ridiculing them (especially males) that further discourages victims to come forward? Check. Going so far as to place blame on them? Ding ding ding! Check!
All of this contributes to the reason why only 3% of rapists serving prison time.

You don't prevent rape by "checking" the victim's behavior, you prevent it by stopping rapists from having power. Stop making them feel like it's her fault for drinking too much. How hard is it to not violate an unconscious person? How do you even get turned on by an unresponsive partner? Fuck. My mind is blown at how much support rapists have

[BuchitaBuchys]

@genuinlysensitive I read it. And because I don't lack empathy or reason, I disagree

I can't wait until the day comes that it's equally appalling to ask "how can that drunk woman prevent her rape?" As "how can that middle eastern lady in a hijab prevent her rape?" "How can that child have prevented his rape?" Etc.

[Dimmu]

@Kylesar
i am just annoyed that it became a trend , feminist also do this
they refer to another women-who CHOOSE to dress in a certain way- and claim that these women are less human ,

and i dont agree with her, but i dont think you got what she means
she just means when you get raped , accusing someone or even getting him into jail won't change the fact you will have been raped , so try to avoid that
she has logic somehow, if man was drunk till he got unconsciousness and got robbed , it will be obvious it was his fault, cause he offered easy chances to thieves to rob him

[Dimmu]

what about girls who get drunk and fuck
then wake up , regret it and then accuse him of raping

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Dimmu the lack of empathy of you men is literally what's wrong with the world.
And I'm referring to "you" as in the men in this comment section, NOT all men in general because many men aren't fucked in the head

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Dimmu I'm not talking about them. I don't care for those who trivialize or mock rape, male or female.

[Dimmu]

I dunno
But one from the few times I cried while reading about the rape of Nanking

[Kylesar]

Lenient prison sentences for even child rape?
Huge confirmation bias. There are far more people rotting in jail for rape than there are getting lenient prison sentences. FAR MORE

Not believing victims?
Innocent until proven guilty. It's the founding document of the nation. Legally speaking, in a court of law, you have to look at the evidence, not simply what they say. Some innocents get put in jail and some rapists walk. It's not a perfect system

Going so far as to place blame on them?
Preventative measures aren't victim blaming. Seriously, the ONLY people I've seen go against things like self defense are feminists and rapists. No one blames the damn victim.

How about we do something to stop MAKING victims. This entire thing about victim blaming will end in stopping rape with a fuck-ton of victims because preventative measures are a no-go to you people. If we stop them BEFORE they happen, we stop rape with no victims

[Kylesar]

Ad hominem

Of course it's MEN'S empathy that's the problem. Haven't you heard? We're the source of all the world's problems, apparently

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Kylesar Can you not read? I said it's not all men, just YOU men, as in the men in this comment section.

Again, the best way to prevent rape is to stop rapists, not victims.

[Kylesar]

But the only way you'll stop a rapist in that regard is to get him AFTER he already strikes, thus you'll end up with a traumatized victim

If you stop it before it happens (aka preventative measures), you stop rape with no victims. Preventative measures PREVENTS victims from forming in the first place

The only people who are against things like self defense are feminists and rapists

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Kylesar No. you can stop a rapist before they rape. Granted, they would no longer be a rapist, but we can stop them by simply saying to not have sex with passed out people. Dont ever have sex with a minor, ever. No matter how much "they" want it. If your spouse says no sex, resepet their wishes and don't force yourself onto them. Yes, spousal rape is a thing. If she's wearing a short skirt, or he's shirtless and showing his washboards abs, dont touch them (granted, this isn't rape, but it is teaching them you are not entitled to anyones body no matter how attractive you find them) lots of people seem to dismiss it as "well, what did she expect? Her cleavage was showing".
I can go on and on. We are creating a mindset where we make predators feel that they're actions are less "wrong" because their victims aren't "fully innocent".
I cannot count how many dudes on this site think it's ok to fuck a 13yr old just because she has big titties. Thats rape, unless you're in her age range.

[TheEnd2]

You're foolish and naive. If you put yourself in a vulnerable position then something happens you're at fault. Without you making yourself vulnerable you couldn't have been taken advantage of. The root cause is making yourself easy prey. There will always be good and bad in the world to think otherwise is delusional.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@TheEnd2 read my other responses because im not repeating myself

[TheEnd2]

Already have that's why you're foolish and naive even delusional. I can do whatever I want and there can be no bad consequences for my actions. Wishful thinking at best.

[Kylesar]

You're stating the obvious, things people ALREADY know. Rapists keep going because they don't give a flying fuck about it being wrong or about the risk of jail time, not because "oh I didn't know I couldn't fuck a blackout drunk chick. Stupid me." I know this teach men to not rape shit is flying around society, but we're not stupid. We can tell the damn difference

You can't tell a rapist to not rape and expect it to work. This isn't Dora the Explorer.

"I cannot count how many dudes on this site think it's ok to fuck a 13yr old just because she has big titties."
Show me some articles/questions/takes of guys who think like this

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Kylesar obvious to you, but I've heard many grown men who didn't believe spousal rape is a thing.
Also, there are "men's rights" movements that support Brock Turner because they claimed violating an unconscious woman is what "any sensible man would do".

And I'm not going to link them. You look for that shit it's too much work and I'm lazy, plus, you're the one who wants to find out. I will tag you in these pedo comments.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@TheEnd2 I never said that. I just said that controlling victim's behaviors doesn't stop the crime. It only stops it from happening to that particular person. Because they'll easily just go to the next victim. Fuck you guys are dense

[TheEnd2]

Fuck you're dense. You'll never stop the crime is what you seem to be missing you can only stop the behavior that makes the crime easier. By stopping that behavior the crime won't go away but will be reduced because of less opportunity.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@TheEnd2 so women shouldn't drink?

[Callieeee]

Where did I say that? Look, just don't get drunk off your ass around strange people. Have a couple if you like, but also have some common sense and stop after that. And be around people you trust.

[TheEnd2]

No one should drink to the point of passing out or becoming impaired to the point of not knowing or remembering what happened. It just plain stupid and idiotic behavior.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Takeowner and the women who get roofied?

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Kylesar and @theending2 how should men prevent rape? Provided they're not in jail, but other men? How should they prevent it? @take owner, this question is for you too

[Callieeee]

Did they take it themselves? Then they're stupid.

Did someone slip it in their drink? Then it's not their fault at all but there's also some nuance. Let's say this person leaves they're drink on the bar, not even at their table, but right on the bar while they go to the bathroom. That's a dumb thing to do, but there's still not the deliberate action on their part. A passive ignorance if you will.

Obviously you can't avoid all danger without living in constant fear and that's not something anyone should do, but my point is that if you show gross negligence then you have a responsibility in the end result. It doesn't negate the responsibility of anyone else's actions, because your behavior is a closed system morally speaking the same as there's. Understand?

[TheEnd2]

Only way is for one that cares about right or wrong to stop in in the act. You'll never stop a person who wants to rape from doing so unless you put him in jail. You can't turn bad into good just plain stupid naive and foolish to think you can.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Who the hell roofies themselves?

And answer my question. How can men, not in prison, prevent rape?

[BuchitaBuchys]

Prevent *their rape

[Callieeee]

Men can prevent their rape the same way of course. Not getting drunk and passing out at parties, keeping their drinks with them, keeping their wits about them and recognizing dangerous situations when they appear. You know common sense.

Now answer my question. Did you understand what i said?

[BuchitaBuchys]

I understand but rape isn't just drunk negligence. Since you're such an expert on rape prevention, how do sober adults prevent rape? What can they do?

[Callieeee]

Your talking about what? Someone jumping out of the bushes and grabbing you? Holding a gun to your head and forcing you? Holding your job ransom unless you have sex? The specific situation matters and I addressed negligence via excessive drinking in my take. If you want to change the subject then you need to be clear what we're talking about.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Not all rape is violently forced, I hope you realize that.

[Callieeee]

When did I fucking say that it was? Jesus Christ either raise a valid point about something I ACTUALLY SAID or bugger off

[TheEnd2]

Everything within reason to make yourself a harder target or prey. Make no mistake most criminals are predators and cowards. Like predators in the wild only go after easy prey the weakest link. Because criminals are also cowards will be discouraged not likely to go after harder prey. It's the only thing you can do. You can't control free wil.

[BuchitaBuchys]

You apparently made yourself out to be. And since you admitted you're no expert, stop trying to control and shame women's behaviors.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@TheEnd2 ok, then explain it. What can a man who is sober and physically bigger than a woman, do to prevent his rape?

[TheEnd2]

Don't put yourself in vulnerable positions or in situations with a lot of unknowns. Take self defense classes. Be harmed with a weapon of some kind. After dark travel in groups. Fight back with everything you got. Pretty much the same as a women can do.

[Kylesar]

@TheEnd2 Exactly
They act like self defense and preventative measures only apply to women

It applies to any situation that could be dangerous

Sure if it doesn't work, it's not the victim's fault, but it'll lower the rate significantly

[genuinlysensitive]

" Kids who were preyed upon by priests?""You would not have gotten raped had you not spent time with that priest.""Disabled people? Fuck it, no one is a "real" victim, they probably could have done more to prevent their abuse too" At no point was any of this mentioned, said, implied or even alluded to. Proof you didn't actually read it, at best you just skimmed it and assumed a lot.

[zagor]

Many of the crimes are crimes of opportunity, so to say they would have just moved on to another victim is not necessarily true. Most of this kind of sexual assault isn't carried out by serial predators who plan their actions. Many are just amoral dirtbags who happen upon a vulnerable person, perhaps on their way home to bed themselves.

[BeeNee]

Standing ovation. I for one would love to believe I live in a safe neighborhood and can leave my doors unlocked at will, but then I shouldn't be surprised, in the same way drunk people shouldn't be surprised, when bad shiz happens because of an action you knew MIGHT have consequences. At the very least if you know you're the type who can't control themselves around a drink, you bring someone with you that can and can watch your back and first and foremost drive your drunk self home.

I too have little sympathy for people that try to blame the alcohol as if it drank itself. It shouldn't be a hard choice for someone to decide that they'd rather make it home alive, or not raped, or not killing someone with their car, or not passed out and their wallet stolen with a few smart choices like limiting the amount you drink or going with a buddy or not drinking at all.

[Anonymous]

Oh, great another woman who hates other women. Lets face it, that's who this is aimed at.

Women who lie about rape are the scum of the earth of course they are, but when it does actually happen to her, it's all her fault because she expected a bit of self control from the people around her? ( even drunk people have self control) Really?

What next, if someone is date raped, they should never have gone on a date?

A lot of people seem to get off on victim shaming rather than looking at the picture as a whole

You wrote "getting knocked up while drunk" that's fair enough why did you leave out "knocking a girl up while drunk" because that's OK? It was all her fault anyway? It doesn't take two to make a baby?

You seemed very angry when you wrote this, but then, judgmental people tend not to be very happy people.

[Kylesar]

Oh great, someone who won't let people criticize the actions of women. They're always a "hater."

She didn't HAVE to say "knocking up a women while drunk." Why? Because no guy ever tries to say it's not theirs because it was done while drunk.

[Opinion Owner]

@Kylesar I'm not saying that, My point was everyone, women and men should be held accountable for their part, but in this girl's mind, it's the stupidity/irresponsibility of women. End of

She can say this, because non of this has ever happened to her.

... and you can't say this is not a girl who hates other women, she does. It's not just what she writes, it's the tone.

If it had been a more open minded, mature, balanced post then I would have agreed with it. Absolutely

[Anonymous]

Being roofied can look like your drunk. I've been attacked and it was the persons explanation to others of what was wrong. They said "oh she drank too much" when it happened at a club and once when it happened during the day (abusive ex) he said I had taken drugs. I don't do drugs of any sort except those prescribed to me by a doctor for health conditions.(and I take it as prescribed and it doesn't make me look drunk though one helps me sleep) So if you ever see someone acting intoxicated in the sense of floppy, drowsy, slurred speech, problems standing, and people are helping them walk or carrying them and those people both look completely sober. Question the events it might be a roofied situation and you might prevent an assault. Outside of that real drunks do deserve what they get. Though even they don't deserve to be assaulted.

[ladsin]

Sure getting drunk can be a choice (although many people especially at first do not know their limits so I don't think they could be blamed.)
In addition, your argument is no different from saying that women deserve to get raped for wearing some clothing. That is asinine. No matter what a person does they are not responsible for another person harming them. If I say something mean that does not mean I deserve to be struck. If a person is walking around naked they don't deserve to be raped. If a person gets drunk they are not responsible for another person taking advantage of them etc. you claim to be the voice of reason but I do not see it that way. You are saying that getting drunk could make one more likely to get assaulted, and that may be statistically accurate but that in no way makes them have any responsibility for another persons actions.

[zagor]

No, but you are responsible for enabling that criminal. If I get shitfaced drunk in a bad part of the city and wake up with a bump on the head and a missing wallet, yeah, I was the victim of crime. But who really set up the whole incident?

[ladsin]

@zagor you aren't responsible for enabling them. They committed the crime not you.
@zagor

[zagor]

But who wound up with the loss? Bad judgement may not be a crime, but it's not going to generate much sympathy.

[ladsin]

@zagor that's the fault of the one hearing the story.

[zagor]

So if instead of getting sexually assaulted she falls and breaks her collarbone while drunk, I guess that wouldn't be her fault either.

[ladsin]

@zagor how do you go from someone drunkenly hurting themselves. To someone assaulting them?

[zagor]

The point is that the individual set themselves up for the harm that befell them. In the one instance the damage was caused by a devious other, in the other case maybe an uneven sidewalk or something, but there never would have been damage if the victim had not put themselves in a situation where they were incapable of taking care of themselves.

[DodgersGM]

This take is a really bad take.

You can try and paint it however you want, but really you're just shifting blame from rapists onto their victims.

"if she'd never gotten drunk, I'd never have been able to rape her. God, she's such an irresponsible idiot!"

[zagor]

BS. So 14 year old girls should feel free to hitchhike alone at night, because it is their right to freely move about without fear. After all, they are not responsible for the actions of the evil predators out there and shouldn't have to adjust their behavior to account for the actions of criminals.

[Anonymous]

Harsh, unempathetic & worrisome for the human race,

Guess what life happens to us all rich/poor, educated/uneducated, good decision/bad decisions, BUT what shapes us as people is good and bad experiences, we learn, grow & evolve from it, that is the very nature of the human race to overcome and survive & thrive.

When life/destiny, who knows maybe karma, throws a few curve balls your way, despite your "good choices that will never backfire/ensure your safety) & reality hits like a ton of bricks, you will eat your words madam, but let's hope your friends are of a more empathetic & supportive nature than your fine yet rather naive self

[Anonymous]

Seriously? You think if a person slips up and makes a small error in judgement, they deserve to be preyed upon... Usually by people they know and think they can trust? Because most rapes don't happen in alleys with strangers. They happen in friends' bedrooms, their boyfriend's trucks, their own homes with people they invited in thinking they knew them well.

[Fathoms77]

A "small error in judgment" is still that person's error. We all make mistakes, some larger than others. In a world of bad people with bad things happening, it's up to each of us not to place ourselves in potentially hazardous situations. I think that's really the point of this Take, as it's certainly not removing blame from the aforementioned bad people, but simply saying that the victim can't be completely absolved of guilt. Because that "small error in judgment" was still THEIRS. And if it didn't happen, the second thing couldn't have happened, right? :)

[Opinion Owner]

I get what she's saying, but her anger at victims of sexual assault is absurd. Are you an idiot for deciding to drive back from a concert that got over at 1 am because many drivers are impaired?

[Fathoms77]

You're an idiot if you got in the car and drove drunk, if that's what you're asking. If you weren't drunk and other drunken drivers ran into you or something, of course it's not your fault.

[Opinion Owner]

My point is that you can only control your own car, not other people's. But hey - a lot of people are drunk at 1 am. Maybe you should know better than to drive at that time, since being on the road that late puts you at risk.

Like I said, the vast majority of rapes take place in an environment the victim thinks they are safe.

[EmiliaB]

@Fathoms77 In relation to the whole "putting themselves at risk" thing I'm going to write something. It's got nothing to do with being drunk, but bear with me.
My boyfriend and I have talked about this, it's not a taboo thing or a secret, he's spoken about it to his brothers. A couple of years ago, he and I were going though an awful time. I'd hurt him pretty badly and he was having a really hard time dealing with it.
There was a night where we were in bed talking and it had started to get pretty nasty like it always did. I was trying to ignore him because I didn't want to get into it again and he carried on and he got on top of me. I tried to push him off. Not in an aggressive way , it was half hearted because I thought he'd get off once he was done insulting me, but he didn't.
I didn't want to have sex with him, but we did. I tried to make him get off me, he didn't. I'm not saying it was rape, I'm not saying that, but I still didn't want what happened to happen. All I did...

[EmiliaB]

Was get into bed.

We've talked about it since, he has even said to me "did I rape you" he didn't. I wouldn't know what to call it, but he didn't.
We got through it, it hasn't affected me. In fact it affected him more.

My point being that things aren't so cut and dried. Someone else in a similar situation can't be accused of being irresponsible.
It's not always a case of being stupid and putting yourself in harms way. Not everything we do should be expected to have a certain type of consequence.

[Fathoms77]

@EmiliaB I don't think I understand the example. You didn't do anything wrong and made no mistake to put yourself in a compromising position.

The author of this Take (I believe) is talking about people who make that mistake first, on their own, of their own volition, thereby placing themselves in a bad position. It's not about placing blame on ALL victims of everything, but on victims who aren't blameless. That's all. In your situation, I'm pretty sure you were blameless. :)

[EmiliaB]

@Fathoms77 I get it a little better now you've said it like that. I know the original post was supposed to be about taking some responsibility for yourself and your own vulnerability.

I'd just read all these replies about how the things that happen to people are always a result of their own original decisions regardless of the situation, and I really just to explain why it wasn't so straight forward for each and every person.

No harm meant. Sorry :)

[Fathoms77]

@EmiliaB No worries. :) Very little in this life is cut and dry, anyway, as you said. It's just a matter of being stand-up individuals in all respects; assigning blame where it's logical and accepting responsibility when it's warranted.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Fathoms77 how the fuck do y'all even decide who's "blameless"? Literally the only person at fault is the rapist. You can "control your behavior" all you want, but the sick fuck will just prey on the next vulnerable person.

Please read my take about rape if this is really such a hard concept to understand

[Fathoms77]

@BuchitaBuchys This isn't a gender issue. Men and women both make mistakes, and both are equally responsible for their mistakes. I didn't even mention rape, anyway.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Fathoms77 And I didn't mention gender either.

[Fathoms77]

@BuchitaBuchys Yeah, I'm fairly certain you weren't talking about female rapists in your message. Most people never are.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Fathoms77 Dont quit your day job. As you're apparently not a good mind reader.

[Fathoms77]

@BuchitaBuchys If you say so. Your comment still made no sense, as I never once referred to rapists.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Fathoms77 @EmiliaB I don't think I understand the example. You didn't do anything wrong and made no mistake to put yourself in a compromising position.

The author of this Take (I believe) is talking about people who make that mistake first, on their own, of their own volition, thereby placing themselves in a bad position. It's not about placing blame on ALL victims of everything, but on victims who aren't blameless. That's all. In your situation, I'm pretty sure you were blameless. "

thats you

[genuinlysensitive]

"You think if a person slips up and makes a small error in judgement, they deserve to be preyed upon" Once again for what feels like the billionth time, not only did she not say that she said the opposite. Maybe actually read it?

[Opinion Owner]

Her words say it, her tone - including calling rape victims idiots, distinctly say otherwise. Like I said, would most people call someone an idiot for driving after midnight and getting hit by a drunk driver because more drunks are on the road then?

[HeWhoPonders]

Careful darlin. It's this kind of logic that got me in trouble in another take. I'm not saying I don't agree and that this isn't a really good take (because I am and it is) but be prepared for the leftists to kick down your door and shove a sharp poll up your rectum.

[Pyrofox]

Life is full of choices, of course no one is going to make them for you. So I applaud the MyTake. As its brutal and honest.

I mean yea you can feel bad for someones bad mistakes but in the end of the day it was their choice. They had the option to quit. I mean addicts dont stop their addiction unless they actually want to stop it.

[DiogoRibeiro]

Irresponsible behavior is not the same and does not attenuate a criminal behavior in any way.

But yeah, I understand where you're coming from... It's our responsibility as parents to teach our kids to be safe in this world. And that includes dealing with alcohol and drugs.

[genuinlysensitive]

To be fair I think she stated that a couple of times:

"If someone takes advantage of you because you're drunk, yes they are a piece of shit who should rot in jail..."

"No you didn't deserve it; yes the rapist is still a rapist and that's bad,..."

"

[DiogoRibeiro]

@genuinlysensitive I know. I just feel this point cannot be stressed enough. ;)

[anonman32]

yeah, i always gamble my money away in casinos but i am always so angry because i keep losing my money, people tell me its my own fault for losing all my money but thats not true, they are victim shaming me. casinos should not make me lose my money because i want to have fun. they totally take advantage of me.

[Library]

So this means that people shouldn't drink anymore because if they get raped then it will be their fault no matter what... Like what if someone roofied you? Does that still mean it's YOUR Fault? Damn why the fuck was this myTake promoted? smh

[genuinlysensitive]

Yea just like you should be able to drink and go driving, and not be blamed for anything because being drunk is an excuse for everything! You want to run over a pedestrian, I was drunk so it doesn't count! Oh wait...

[posted]

Yeah you can really only control yourself bitching about rapists won't change anything. Yes it's extremely fucked up, it's really not going to accomplish anything. It's illegal and everyone knows it's morally wrong. But when you basically drink so fucking much you don't know whats going on or you pass out, you're really doing some stupid shit.

[fuqthegovt]

It's not that we're mostly morons with the IQ of a piece of moldy cheese and can't think 24 hours ahead. It's more like that we simply don't care. Consequences be dammed. No risk, no reward. As far as getting drunk, it's fun, even if the puking and hang over (and maybe rape kit and morning after pill) the next day isn't. Same with unprotected sex, extreme sports, and 100 other things.

[TripleAce]

Part of the blame does of course fall on the women. But legally its not structured that way to protect from moral hazard