12 Dumb Things From The 90s

BeeNee

Every decade has it's share of the good and the bad. We all get nostalgia fever thinking about our childhoods or some decade that happened to be awesome for us, but lest the rose colored glasses cloud our judgement, every decade also comes with it's fair share of things that we look back on and cringe.

12 Dumb Things From The 90s

1. The High Platform Shoe

Spawned largely from "The Spice Girls," women and some men, rocked these monstrosities as normal everyday footwear. They came in flip flop form, boots, shoes, and various chunky heels. Great if you hated having to balance in a pair of high heels, but if the trade off looks like you are interning for Herman Munster, than we all should have seriously passed on this one. I wasn't immune to this fad unfortunately. I had a pair of big black platform boots which I wore religiously. At a doctors appointment, my doc asked me out of sheer curiosity about the stupidity at my feet, if I could remove my shoes and weigh them on the scale. They weighed 4lbs. SMH.

12 Dumb Things From The 90s

2. The Pain And Suffering of AOL/Dial Up Modems

You whipper snappers of today have no idea what we went through with dial up modems. Imagine you're on your computer right now, and someone calls, and your internet just cuts out because you have just one landline hooked up to your internet. This happened all the time. Also AOL was a serious thing back then, and just about every month, they would send you a free disc in the mail which included 500 free hours of internet, 1,000 free hours of internet, and so on, and you would put that disc on and then have to sit there for sometimes hours trying to just get on to the web. If you lived through that era, the above picture gives you low grade PTSD.

12 Dumb Things From The 90s

3. Zubaz Pants

Let's make a distinction here. Today, a woman who walks around in and outside of the gym wearing her Capris or tights might very well look under dressed or dressed for the wrong occasion, but most guys can agree that at least she still has the ability to look hot in a pair of those skin tight second skins. Not so for Zubaz pants. They were the horribly patterned 90s equivalent, except not awesome. Tight at the waist, ballooning at the thighs and back to tight at the ankles. It was not a good look. It was also the go to uniform of your local meat head at the gym. Something about his thighs being able to breath in them or whatever was used to justify this much pattern in this much daylight worn that often.

12 Dumb Things From The 90s

4. Frosted Tips/Highlight Overload

Lance, I'm looking at you buddy. Actually I'm looking at most men in 90s boy bands and the terrible trend in men's hair that followed. The most natural looking thing in life is to decide to just frost (actual name for this process) the tips of your hair. No...

Ladies, you weren't immune. This is skunk hair. Way too much highlighting, and then when you add extra color on top of that that isn't even found in nature, oh boy.

12 Dumb Things From The 90s

5. Batman and Robin

When something is beloved and iconic and already has a pre-scripted formula for continuing to make it so, how on earth do you make something this bad??? Everyone in this film from the directors to the cast admit this was trash. George Clooney as Batman??? We started there???


6. Chain Wallets

12 Dumb Things From The 90s

If you take your wallet and attach it to a chain, "no one" will steal it. It just lets everyone know, you're a dude, who's got a wallet, and he's not afraid to draw a big long stupid leathery arrow to it for all to see.

7. Backpack Purses

12 Dumb Things From The 90s

There are things in life that should not be combined and these two words are such a thing. It just looks like all those parents who walk their kids to school and sling their kids backpack over their shoulder so they won't have to carry it until they get there. It's the wrong size for you I want to scream. Plus what happens when you have your actual purse or backpack on you...isn't it all a bit redundant?

8. EXTREME!!!!!


First of all, calm down, it's just a soda. For some unexplained reason (probably drugs) the 90s introduced us to IN YOUR FACE TO THE MAX EXTREME marketing. You couldn't have skates, they had to be skates to the max. The commercials had pulsing lights, stuff being thrown directly into your face, lots of close ups and shots of people jumping, running, and punching through things with a soundtrack that included intense music and screams or thunder. Your coffee was meant to be so extreme, you'd get a whole days work done in a few minutes by drinking it. No sport was a sport unless it was near death...and did we mention everything had to be...TO THE EXTREME. It is way way too early for all of this at any time of the day.

9. Heroin Chic

12 Dumb Things From The 90s

No, no, no, Calvin Klein! It's just the idea that someone took an actual crippling addiction, put thousand dollar clothes on it, and then turned around and marketed it to the very people who were most in danger of succumbing to drugs and the real pain and suffering behind faux pictures of emaciated models lying in doorsteps and propped up against sketchy warehouses, their eyes and lips darkened and saying, this is cool, buy into this. No, an ad can't make you do drugs but there are better things we should be encouraging young people to do in ads, like eat at McDonalds (sarcasm).

10. This

People like the following who seemed to emerge from the 90s suddenly claiming to be hardcore thugs and inventing personas for themselves not actually based in any type of reality to help them appear cool, but really they were stupid and ridiculous and sometimes even racist.


11. Straight Edge

12 Dumb Things From The 90s

Not really new in the 90s, but rather re-invented for the decade, you stood around with your punk heavy metalcore band friends drawing the symbol of choice, an X on your hand, and you proclaimed you were straight edge, swearing off sex, drugs, alcohol, smoking, and meat and picking up on some cause or other for social justice and change. Doesn't sound all that bad, in fact, sounds good to a lot of people (your parents), but as with anything starting off with good intentions, people frequently lost their way, the movement got twisted as to its meanings, some people took it WAY TOO EXTREME (see number 8 ) and became militant and violent and overly conservative with their need for others to submit to the cause. Now you probably have a few regrets from that straight edge tattoo you thought was awesome when you were barely legal.

12. Squatting

12 Dumb Things From The 90s

No not the type that has you cursing the day leg day was born, but the kind where usually young punk teens would abandon their perfectly wonderful Midwestern life in the burbs, to go live in an old graffitied and dilapidated rat infested asbestos having abandoned tenement always on whatever east side of town existed, so they could live without rules and play music at 3 am and do drugs because having parents that love you, a warm bed, food in your belly that wasn't found in a dumpster, and working a/c in the summer was just way harsh, you know?

12 Dumb Things From The 90s
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  • meatballs21
    7. In 20 years we'll be laughing at these:

    www.luggageonline.com/.../sa17896.jpg

    Nobody ever wears it as a backpack! Why would you? Especially after it's been dragged through train stations, up escalators, across streets and through airports! The straps will be filthy to say nothing of what the wheels will be doing to your butt (which they will be in direct contact with)

    2. Your modem would only disconnect if someone else called and you had call waiting. There was a way to dial a code ahead of time to disable call waiting for the call you were about to make; and AT commands you could add to the string so your modem would automatically dial it before it dialled your ISP/AOL. As for dumbass family members picking up another phone elsewhere in the house... just get a second line.

    My favourite 90s cringe is the amount of denim we wore, and how everyone wore huge baggy mom jeans. Not saying skinny jeans are better (they're not) but I found an early 90s LL Bean catalogue at work and it's all huge sweaters and denim everything. Including a denim dress.
    • zagor

      No way, those are great! You can wheel them on smooth pavement to save your back, yet carry them like a backpack over muddy streets.

      I took a regular backpack when I spent a summer in Europe and I was exhausted by the end.

      Though those probably wouldn't be good in France, where the sidewalks seem paved with dogshit.

    • @zagor they tried to convince the French to pick up after their dogs, and found it was easier to just employ a lot of street cleaners.

    • zagor

      Unfortunately cobblestones are a bitch to clean.

  • stanhelsing
    I agree with everything listed. Especially Batman and Robin, hands down the worst superhero film ever made in my opinion. I have seen some people even today with those over-frosted or over highlighted hair and wondered if they are some throwback from the 90's
  • brocklee
    Remember there was a swing music movement that lasted about 6 months? Cherry Poppin' Daddies, The Brian Setzer Orchestra, and the movie The Mask are just about all that is remains as proof...
  • Zorax
    Well, Dial Up Modems were inevitable, technology of the 90's wasn't as advanced as present internet tech.
    I thought that high platform shoes were from the 70's...
    As for the Batman and Robin, I think Batman Forever was much worse.
    I agree about the other stuff, very good Take :)
  • newbie2015
    Awesomeness!!! I'm also a fan of. Hairsprayed chicken bangs ala kelly kapowski and hypercolored tees :)
  • MysteriousDarkness
    The only one on there I liked and still like are platform shoes.

    Instead of AOL my family had Prodigy. Now you can be using the internet at the same time on a phone that you are talking to someone on. Before it was phone or internet. Remember AOL and Yahoo messengers?
  • Hopefuldreamer8
    I remember tear-a-way pants. Everyone had to have those but now looking back I think of them as ridiculous. I remember all of this except the Zubaz pants.
  • Fathoms77
    LOL Oh yeah, I remember it all. Just watched "Swingers" the other night (one of my favorite movies) and I got a face-full of those chain wallets. :P

    And ZUBAZ PANTS! ... what kind of effed-up fashion abortion WAS that?
  • BubbleQueen
    Hey! I was born in the 90s! The 90s hold a special place in my heart.. YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY GAMEBOY COLOR AND POKEMON! RAWR
  • LittleSally
    Haha Actually, most of those I like. xD And liked...

    And I'm even not one of those millenials who think the 90's are now so cool and hip.
  • WhiteSteve
    • WhiteSteve

      JUST noticed the bro in the middle of the Merry Go Round ad is wearing a Skidz fanny pack. I would pay TOP DOLLAR for that.

  • somebodysaycheese
    Um nur. The spice girls where the shit and so was platform shoes. I mean the 90's has been back for the last 6 7 years
  • akadatank44
    All of these were awesome 😜 what are you talking about? Well except squatting which reall was way before the 90s called the hippy era. Just advance to this and continues till this day haha
  • mutedaisy
    I love the heroin chic look. I can't let it go. Nor can I let platform shoes or backpack purses lol
  • Blueeyes81
    I miss my chain wallet! :( I rather liked dual up Internet. Yes it was slow but the screech and squelch of it connecting became a sound I absolutely love. Nice take.
  • Saoirse_Nua
    Yeah lots of "Oh Gawd" cringe moments in there - As far as I recall I didn't fall for any of those trends.
  • Sara413
    Fuckin straight edge punks were the WORST PEOPLE EVER!! Ruining the scene from day 1.
  • Sorry to disappoint you, but I think the backpack purses looks cute. 😊
  • Nice_Guy_Last
    Yes, 90's Batman was bad, but it was so bad that, in a way, it was all the better for it. Like the original Batman series with Adam West.
  • AlwaysBelieving
    Zubuz was 80s. I had a pair in 2nd grade. Yeah, I know. 🤓
    • BeeNee

      Zubaz started in the late 80s, trademarked in '89, but didn't gain in popularity until the early 90s.

  • Bluemax
    (Hanging my head)
    I liked Can't Hardly Wait.
  • Máiiréad
    I like backpack purses.
  • BuchitaBuchys
    I like backpack purses :/
  • phil2
    You forgot jnco jeans
  • YourFutureEx
    6,7,11,12 FTW!
  • douride2
    I couldn't agree more.
  • bobbyxx
    I don't know any of these.
  • Anonymous
    Stupid, yet nostalgic. Wonder what people will be saying our generation 20 years from now.
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