Stop Skinny Shaming!

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Skinny Shaming

This is my topic for today . Yeah it's a real thing and it happens. Buckle up because I'm about to start. I'd firstly like to say that I have nothing against people who are not exactly the skinniest, my problem is when people start shaming you for being skinny. Up next I'm going to give five reasons or scenarios in which skinny shaming happens but shouldn't.

1. Shopping

It's so grueling that people simply assume that you fit into everything and everything looks good on you just for the fact that you're skinny. Also people never take into account how bad it feels when clothes sag on you or when they slide right off, despite it being the smallest size that the store caters.

2. Picking Fat people up by putting Skinny people down

Skinny women are real women! You don't have to say that we aren't just to spread body positivity to women who are thick or fat. If they aren't comfortable in their own skin why should they have the right to make us uncomfortable in ours? Most of us didn't choose to be skinny. We were born that way and there isn't much that we could do to change our complexion or metabolism. All women are real women, doesn't matter your size or measurements.

3. All skinny people are on some sort of crazy diet or are starving themselves

Personally I'm skinny. My size ranges from 2-6 mostly because of my bust since it's a 36C and I eat whatever the hell I want. I'm not going to deny the fact that anorexic people exist but all skinny people aren't anorexic. Most of us achieve our body naturally or through working out and mantaning a healthy food regime. I'm so tired of having the words toothpick, plank, skin and bones and so on thrown at me. Don't put people down to feel better about yourself.

4. Why would a man want skin and bones?

It's this type of comments that hurt the most. Would you like to be reminded that no one will ever want you just for the way you look? I bet that you wouldn't. Why is it okay to put skinny people down simply for the fact that we look different from thick or fat girls? It's incredible the amount of doble-standards that we live in. If a thick or fat girl is shamed then everyone is outraged at the person who did it, but if a skinny girl's shamed no bats an eye. Why should we take all of the shit that is dished out on being skinny?

5. Skinny girls have it easier

Truth is that we don't have it easier. We suffer from societal pressures, low-self-esteem, self-doubt, self-consciousness, and so on same as any other person would. Being skinny isn't easier. Like everything it has its pros but it's not all chocolate and rainbows.

That being said, I love my body and this take isn't to say other wise. My purpose in this is to say that we should stop the shaming. Fat shaming and skinny shaming, because attacking eachother solves nothing. What is so wrong with having a different type of body? That just makes it all the more interesting and beautiful. If you love it there's nothing wrong with it.

I hope this didn't offend anyone because that wasn't my intention at all. If so I'm sorry, but this is my opinion and I have a right to say what ever I want to say. I don't care if I receive backlash. I said what was on my mind and it doesn't really matter what is said negatively about it. However I do hope that people reflect on this and think of how they've been acting towards others.

[CHARismatic110]

Body shaming in general needs to stop. I never understood why it was so easy for women to tear each other down. We're not all going to be the same size. And that's ok. Learn to love the skin your in. Skinny. Curvy. Fat. Whatever.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Agreed. Preach!

[CHARismatic110]

Thanks for MHO.

[Logorithim]

Body shaming is wrong, period. I am particularly sympathetic on this issue because I have been "skinny shamed" myself.

[lumos]

This. I especially hate the term "real women". Like real women have curves, real women have some fat, real women look like this and real women do that. No, real women do whatever the fuck they want and look however the fuck they want. I'm a very real woman, with some very real small tits and very real small buttcheeks. It's absurd how some thicker gals (and some other people in general) complain about society not accepting them for how they look, but then turn around and in the same breath complain about how skinny girls aren't "real" and that we're "anorexic" or "unhealthy".

Once I got past the weird growing stage as a kid, I've been skinny pretty much entire life. Sometimes I've been pretty unhealthy when not eating well and not exercising, and other times I've been working out regularly and eating healthy. My body has stayed pretty much the same, and the change has felt more internal than external (more strength, more energy, feeling healthier and happier etc). But people have aaaalways felt the need to comment on what I look like. How skinny my legs are, how narrow my waist is, that I look like I should eat more, that I look "anorexic", questioning my eating habits etc. What's even more hurtful is that these comments would more often than not come from my own friends and family, and would be cloaked as "concern" rather than flat out judgment or rudeness. Except for the fact that they always SEE me eat, they see my portion sizes, and it's not like I run to the bathroom every time I've eaten something either. But that didn't matter because I still look skinny and *something* simply must still be wrong with me.

Great take. Thanks for sharing.

[OlderAndWiser]

What does someone do that causes you to feel shame? I don;t understand. I get this argument all the time about slut shaming. I have never chased after a girl to tell her that I think she's a slut. However, if I express an opinion about slitty behavior, I get accused of "SLUT SHAMING!!!" I haven't done anything to cause anyone any shame. I have only formed private opinions but, apparently, there is a move afoot to make having unauthorized and unapproved private opinions illegal.

[OlderAndWiser]

by the way, my girlfriend is a size 2 and she looks just fine to me!

[simplyaramdomgirl]

For me skinny shaming would be telling you that you look like a 12 year old boy, that you don't have a real woman's body, that you are just skin and bones, that no man would ever find you attractive ( I know it's not true, just an example) and so on. Mostly it's girl-on-girl shame, because guys don't really tell you that you're too skinny or too fat, at least not to your face. Anyway I respect private opinions. Shaming essentially is something that is found to be offencive or harsh. The sad thing about our society nowadays is that everything is considered harsh and offencive, so you really have to measure your words. It's quite annoying at times.

[OlderAndWiser]

I am an old Southerner and I was taught that it is quote impolite to offer opinions about someone else unless my opinions were specifically requested. Unfortunately, most people think that the old South ONLY means racism (which, of course, has never existed in the North.)

[LegateLanius]

You have some awesome opinions and I agree.

[ronaldo75]

The south is proud of it's history with racism. Northerners at least have the decency to pretend they're not racist.

[OlderAndWiser]

@ronaldo75 Ho does racism in the South relate to this discussion?

[ronaldo75]

You said people assume "Southern ways" means racism

[OlderAndWiser]

@ronaldo75 Not germane, but if you want to discuss it. . .

"The south is proud of it's history with racism." The South is a very diverse region. Actually, all Southerners do not believe the same things. Any notion that we all ascribe to the same beliefs is horribly simplistic. Prior to the Civil War, there were large portions of the South that opposed slavery, and portions of the North which supported slavery because Northern textile manufacturers made huge profits because of the artificially cheap price of cotton. Abraham Lincoln did not strongly oppose slavery but used abolition for political posturing with Europe.

"Northerners at least have the decency to pretend they're not racist." If you truly believe that constitutes decency, there is no reason to continue this discussion.

[Allie_Oops]

The only decent point on here is number 2 but everything you listed isn't skinny shaming. How is it skinny shaming that skinny/thin people have an easier time finding clothes than someone who is 200lbs?

[simplyaramdomgirl]

That's not the point at all... You missed entirely, by a long shot. The point of the mytake was to say, and I quote, "My purpose in this is to say that we should stop the shaming. Fat shaming and skinny shaming, because attacking eachother solves nothing. What is so wrong with having a different type of body? That just makes it all the more interesting and beautiful. If you love it there's nothing wrong with it." So really you just went by the tangent and a not so important detail/example which you got entirely wrong also.

[EpicDweeb]

I think we ought to encourage healthy living. There is a point at which a woman is so skinny she doesn't seem healthy and there is a point at which a woman is so fat that she doesn't seem healthy. I personally prefer larger women because they tend to give better hugs. I've got nothing against skinny women, of course they're people just like anyone else. Even so I've seen many more hostile skinny women than hostile fat women. I've seen many women say shit like "If you're any fatter than me (they are toothpicks) then you should just go die because you're completely worthless). That's the kind of bull I don't like to see from either group. Shaming one direction or the other is not okay, we ought to encourage people to simply be healthy. Don't be proud of your body if you aren't doing anything to take care of it. It's like a college kid being proud of how messy their dorm is. It's not okay to be proud of an unhealthy lifestyle or body, we ought to strive to be healthy people. Not fitness nuts, or obsessed with our health but we ought to strive to maintain good health.

[Anonymous]

Personally most arguments I see in the body acceptance camp are usually hypocritical. I agree body shaming should be put to an end whether you're fat, skinny, or obesed. Though I also think that yours doctor, a close friend or a family member who brings up your weight out of concern for your health isn't shaming but trying to help you. Anybody else who brings up your weight should really just butt out of it because it's none of their business and it's not affecting them.

Also for one of your points whether your skinny or not, there is a man out there who'll love you for your body type. Some people will think your beautiful and others will think your ugly. You shouldn't let a handful of people not finding you attractive for body type affect you. It's even like this for the most attractive people out there. There's jus tsome people who aren't into them. That's okay and says nothing about them.

Also I don't eat a lot but I do eat pretty crappily when I do eat. I could stand to lose about 15 to 20 pounds. Though I know people who are older than me who eat junk food all the time and never exercise and they're super skinny. Sometimes things do come down to genetics so I agree we can't tell a person's diet from just looking at them.

[dantetheexplorer]

I think skinny women have to deal with all the things that you mentioned in your post. And I totally agree that all those points (bar No. 5) ring with truth. I've heard too many times the old "Men want REAL women" as if skinny women aren't real women. *rolls eyes*

However, I will have to disagree with Point Number 5. When you add up all the pros and all the cons, skinny women DO have it easier THAN fat women. Why? Skinny women fit society's ideal. Do skinny women catch flak for it and have to take shit from some quarters? Definitely. But it isn't anywhere near the vicinity all the crap that fat women have to take. If I were a woman, I know which body type I'd rather have to get by in society.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

I guess I agree with you with what you said about number 5, the pros are pretty good. My take was really to say that people should stop making us villains for something that half of the time feels like a curse. And by people I mean thick/ curvy and fat girls, because most of the hate that skinny girls receive aren't even from men obviously. It's all from thick / curvy women that think that by putting us down they're making us seem less attractive or fighting "fire with fire". Because apparently hating on fat girls is something that skinny girls do. I for one have never done that because my sisters are thick/ curvy and I would never say something to shame them or make them self-conscious. Same as they would never do that to me. Really this whole competition thing between women has to die already. As a united front we could do so much more.

[dantetheexplorer]

@simplyrandomgirl I agree. We should all stop the body shaming. Just live and let live. Life is too short to waste on negative things like body shaming. Let us work instead to raise people up, instead of tearing them down.

[SirRexington]

I'm sick of hearing about things like this.

1: Too fat, too skinny, doesn't matter. There is a reason the word "too" is being used. It's pointing at an extreme that we don't want to see. It's not healthy to be that skinny. If people are telling you to gain weight but you still have anxiety to be skinny, that's your fault. Not ours.

2: "Most of us did not choose to be skinny"? Bullshit. No one is naturally that skinny without doing it voluntarily. If you are skinny enough to have it commented on then you are too skinny and probably could benefit from eating healthier.

3: People still fat "shame" all the time.

4: If eating healthy and working out are things you do, no one will comment on how skinny you are. Meaning you have over done it or done it incorrectly to get that skinny.

5: Some men like thinner women. I don't mind what size you are, as long as you aren't one of the extremes. If someone is commenting on how skinny you are, you are probably too skinny! How many times must I say it?
Also, we love thick women, not fat women. Don't confuse the two.

6: No one is shaming, or at least what you interpret as shaming isn't. It's merely an opinion, a critique. Again, everyone faces pressure and anxiety. I feel I need to lose my belly considering the rest of me is muscle. It wouldn't be shaming me if it was the truth.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

🙄🙄🙄 it's because of people like you that I wrote this take. Let's get one thing straight I never said anything against thick and curvy girls. Secondly never said that fat shaming wasn't a thing, not my fault that you didn't read the whole take.

I always get the typical "you're so skinny, how do you do it?" And the "you must be on a diet" and let's not forget the "you have a blessed metabolism" , things that are always said to me despite my averaging weight being 110-120 depending on the day. I am not "too skinny" and if my thinness is something that people notice it's because it's a noticeable quality and a striking feature. Also I've always been skinny I've never been on ANY type of diet. When I was a kid I was 60-90 pounds and when got into high school I was 100-110 pounds and since then my weight has averaged around 110-120. My measurements are not one of a girl that's "too thin" being 36/25/35.5 and over all I don't look like I'm "too thin".

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Also I RARELY work out. The most I've done is three times a week and it didn't even last a month. How could I possibly be over doing it? Lastly I don't know how you would consider calling someone a toothpick or a skinny bitch being a critique. It's an opinion I'll give you that, but not one that was wanted nor one that made that person better. It's simply hurt their feelings, their self-esteem and their body image. Anyway in the end you believe what you believe and I'll believe what all would leave. Let's leave it at that.

[SirRexington]

I used the information you gave me from the MyTake which I read all of. It's not because of people like me, it's because of people like you who are so privileged they have to find something this unimportant to complain about.

[MelaninDoll]

most of these are absolute bullshit! yes someone can be naturally skinny it's called fast fucking metabolism.

[SirRexington]

@MelaninDoll naturally skinny is one thing, but if you are naturally skinny then most won't comment on it.

I had a high metabolism when I was younger and my doctor told my mom I needed to start eating more and eating more protein.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Not everyone's case is the same as yours and I didn't have an "unimportant complain", most girls and guys found truth in what I said. So how can it possibly be "unimportant"? If you considered the Mytake such a waste of time and such an "unimportant" thing then why'd you comment at all?

[MelaninDoll]

yes they do comment if you're naturally skinny! for example: ME!

[Sbleigh]

@simply random
Hey, I feel you 100 percent! I have been both thick and skinny. When I lose weight from being a size 12 and go down to a size 6, my mother tells me I look great. But then tells my family that I look like i will blow away in the wind. She used to accuse me of doing drugs to lose weight. But every summer my body tends to drop about 20 lbs and pack it back on in the winter. Im not trying to accomplish this, it's just how I've been a long time. Im now 38 and had c sections so when I lost weight this time I was excited to finally not be asked if I'm pregnant (which happened often, tho im not pregnant). It just feels like hate and I can't win. When im larger, she says things like " ... your rings would be bracelets on kiki " (very petite best friend) and so yes, it's unkind and hurtful, esp from people who are supposed to be supportive.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Damn, that's horrible coming from your own family... I'm glad this resonated with you so people can see that it's a real thing and that it does happen. Although I am sad that you had to go through it... Best wishes though!

[Sbleigh]

Thank you. Best wishes to you as well and I appreciate the post.

[Emptyheart]

Aww sorry you have to go through this. If it makes you feel any better, the last girl I dated was really skinny (and 3 inches taller than me o_o). Even when she had anorexia from being shamed at school (I was in college because I am a year older than her), I still tried my best to contact her as much as possible despite the fact that she would constantly break contact because she was so depressed. She is still one of the most beautiful women I know. Nowadays we broke up, but we are still friends. Hon, I think you should be proud of yourself because your satisfaction comes from how you view yourself, not how others see you.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Thanks for your opinion! I am proud of my body and I love it , especially now that I'm working out more than I did last year and I'm starting to look how I always wanted to. I'm sorry that your ex-girlfriend want through that, it is a horrible mental disorder and sickness, and I could never imagine how she was feeling to go down that path. Thanks for your wise advice and I hope she gets better!

[Emptyheart]

She is much better now, thanks for your concern. I feel especially sympathetic towards skinny people over fat people because typically being skinny isn't always a choice and sometimes being skinny is just genetics. I myself am more slim than skinny to be honest, so I have never been insulted weight wise. But I can understand how you feel :)!

[ChurchOfIron]

I agree. We should praise skinny people. So long as they aren't legitimately underweight, as that causes health issues.

Likewise, we should encourage fat people to lose weight, rather than attacking them for it. No one should be attacking anyone.

But we should never approve of fat as a sexy or desireable thing. You wouldn't praise a smoker for destroying their lungs. So why would we praise a fat person for destroying their arteries? Being overweight causes a host of health issues and diseases.

The approach to that shouldn't be shame, but concern for their health and encouragement to maintain a healthier weight. Underweight or overweight.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Well I wouldn't go as far as praising, but yeah I agree with you.

[ChurchOfIron]

I would. So long as their weight is healthy.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but its completely not true that thinner women dont have it easier. Our society praises thinness in women. For every negative comment you get, those of us who are bigger get far more. Body positivity is for everyone, but it's a complete falsehood to think thin women have it as difficult as women who are overweight. Not even close. That doesn't mean you dont receive negative comments and women are pressured in general for their looks, which is a major problem, but dont lie to yourself. Usually women in general struggle toward thinness.

I will say that there's a cultural component here too that definitely affects experiences. In black and latino cultures, I would say there is an example of actual thin shaming because the ideals are so geared toward "thick" and curvy shapes. However, even then being plus size/fat can still be an issue and in the world outside of those cultures, thin women of culture will experience validation and advantage. So I disagree.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

I understand and it's true, I never wanted to insunuate that it ever came close to fat shaming. I'm partly speaking in experience there because in my culture having a big ass is much more admired than having a flat belly but I do acknowledge that it's not like that for everyone and I'm not blind to that. I respect your opinion. Thanks for reading my take!

[desidoll]

I have been skinny, average and curvy. From my experience, people always have something to comment. I don't understand. When I was skinny, some commented saying I look better curvy because my chin looked horrible due to the weight loss. When I was average, some said they love it when I was skinny because my tummy was so flat. When I stayed average, they said I had no curves. You can't win either way. People are gonna shame you regardless. I stop taking people opinion as long as I am comfortable with my own skin. Women can look good in any size (as long as she is healthy). It depends on how we carry it.

[Ouroboros8Fate]

Body shaming in general needs to stop. I do agree that overweight people get more sympathy over skinny People. But normally that is only with females and not males. When you see plus sized models or advertisements for plus sized people it's almost always women and not men.

I'm sure if you compare how much overweight women find relationships compared overweight men the odds would not be in the favor of men, hence why the term BBW or Big Beautiful Woman is a term and there isn't really a term for men, we are just obese.

An overweight man has to throw himself into traffic or jump through hoops to be noticed where as an overweight woman could just hit on a few guys or hit up a bar and she's probably going to get hit on at least once.

I should know because I'm an overweight guy and I am always overlooked and judged. And trying to ask a girl out on a date is like pulling teeth, unless I look for someone larger than me. Thus why I'm working in losing weight.

[ScaryCool]

Thank you. This happens to both genders as well just so everyone knows. There is a lot more stigma towards people walking up and saying someone is fat, but all throughout school people would constantly point out that I was skinny/toothpick etc but the thing is I could tell they weren't TRYING to be mean and on top of that I'll even admit that I'm an exception where it didn't hurt my feelings. I'm someone who doesn't care what others think BUT I felt bad for others like me who may. That's not fair to them. Someone who may be insecure about their weight shouldn't be constantly reminded by that. Sure some people will tell them they're jealous, but a lot of us skinnier people actually do try to gain weight. I'm an ectomorph and I have a very high metabolism. I burn my calories quickly and just have a smaller frame in general. I'm gaining weight now but it's taken a LOT of effort and hard work to do so.

[psychoticallyawkward]

Fantastic MyTake! There are plenty of times I’ve gone shopping and the salesperson says “You’re so tiny! I bet everything looks good on you!”
Yeah I am very petite. It is actually hard to find clothes that fit me everywhere, I could try on clothes at 10 different stores and walk away with nothing.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

I relate so badly. Usually I get clothes that somewhat fit and and up getting them tailored.

[psychoticallyawkward]

Yeah! Tops may be too big on my narrow shoulders, but too tight across my chest. Or I find ankle length jeans, but it sags at the butt. I've learned not to buy clothes unless they fit 100% cause tailors are expensive.

[CherryRoseChampange]

All I care about his health. As long as the people are healthy and fit enough I have no problems. Don't care if the woman is skinnier or thicker. To me, it's all about not being unhealthily thick of skinny. Once you reach the point where you are, I won't shame but I won't support it either. You're a hazard to yourself and it doesn't need to be glamorized. It needs to be fixed. When health and happiness is there I think all is well.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Completely agree.

[Lilyanony]

I'm envious of slimmer and naturally thin women. I used to be and well I'm not anymore. would I trade my body now possibly especially since I have a bad back and I struggle to exercise.
But I get your pain and misery from the reoccurring insults you face.
I'm sorry. I really am just try and learn to love the skin your in. and remember there are women dying to have a body like yours and most bitch to make themselves feel better. X

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Thank you! I do love my body which used to be kind of a struggle because I felt like I was never enough, but once I came to peace with my body I learned how to get comfortable in it and eventually love it. Thank you sm though!

[ChronicThinker]

Or, we can all grow thicker skin and stop expecting assholes to stop being assholes. Just tell them what for and move on, not approving of their antics isn't going to make them stop, getting in their faces is more likely to do that.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Haha I love your comment because it's so true. I usually try to avoid confrontation though because when I get hot headed it's like a bull seeing red and it's kind of hard to stop. So usually I avoid confrontation because if not I'm going to go off on that person.

[ronaldo75]

Modern Feminism and SJW-ism in general is about never being responsible for yourself or anything you might have to correct about yourself while at the same time attacking everyone who has what you don't. So women in good shape or thin are wrong and need to be trashed by overweight whales. Attractive women with husbands and children are just tools of the patriarchy and need to be attacked by all. That cute guy in you office rejected you but went out with that hot skinny secretary? Accuse him of rape and say men are promoting western beauty standards.

[Anonymous]

O hell yeah preach girl. Its just as bad for a guy who is slim.
Every one is like flipping eat something man, or asking if I have a eating disorder.
That or they hate that I can eat everything and never gain any wieght. My doctor always nags me about gaining weight.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Yes I hate when people nag me about the eating specifically since I like to eat a lot. I'm not a big meal person but I do like to eat many tiny meals or snacks through the day and night. You know I'll be going down to the kitchen at 3 a. m. to look for that sandwich.

[Opinion Owner]

Haha at work 3 of my coworkers think I don't eat. I regularly eat there but they just don't usually see it.