Black and eloquent? How annoying!

[scorchedwater]

Before I begin:

I’ve probably had some huge disagreements with some of you; 90% of whom I’ve made up with and have no grudges. However, if we haven't made up and you recognize my username from some dispute from long, long ago: i’ve moved on and I hope you have, too. if you feel as if you deserve an apology: I'm sorry and this take is not being written to vilify anyone.

So, I'm writing this from the point of view of a black person who went to two very good private schools, (The Potomac School and St. Andrews...a big welcome to Barron Trump; I hope you thrive), lived in an affluent neighborhood (Potomac, MD), and had a rather diverse group of friends...

Ah. The alma maters.

Oof. The pocket$.

...but, at the end of the day, none of that REALLY mattered. I remember when I was having a wonderful conversation with a cop, one who would be teaching me how to drive, when he interrupted me mid sentence to say, "Wow. you are so articulate! Where do you attend school?" .....okay. So, because I have an above average vocabulary of the "typical" black person, I'm so out of the ordinary that you just HAVE TO point it out. And before people start saying "oh, it was a compliment/it wasn't a race thing/you're being too sensitive". Yes, I know it was meant to be a compliment. But, yes, it was a race thing. Stop expecting black people to be less competent and less academically inclined. Start using "melancholy". Start using "commodious".

And I'll address black people, too: hey, guys, we need to be open to LEARN. We should expand our vocabulary instead of referring to other black people who speak differently as white or "show offs". Then we get mad when we are grossly unrepresented in powerful positions...how about we push ourselves to be in those powerful positions and distance ourselves from picking fights with people in public places? Or shooting people for looking at your girl? This is such an abecedarian concept it's ridiculous why we aren't adjusting ourselves. I'm not saying it's "easy, just study, guys", because let's face it, it's hard. I swear I'm not dismissing that. In fact, as I'm writing this, I should probably be writing my dissertation. Eek..

Ifeoma White-Thorpe--a girl who got into all 8 Ivy League schools...plus Stanford.

Now, as I look deeper into how being eloquent is "annoying", I address black women. My dear, sweet, beautiful sisters...we need to stop taking TV roles and movie roles where we wave our fingers, roll our eyes, and swivel our necks, and continue to be mammies and caricatures that elicit all the laughs audiences love—you know the ones who act ghetto and make every black woman look like an angry, “i don’t need no man” stereotype? That people then apply to real life then claim they don’t like black girls because of their “attitudes”? That's where being well-spoken doesn't matter.

Thinking about this, I've come to the conclusion that I'm confused as to which political party I even stand with due to these black women in Hollywood slipping into the black woman tropes that give young black girls almost no one to look up to...you know besides the typical Michelle Obama, Oprah, and Serena Williams. It almost forces me to look up to Candace Owens (NOT her Tweets, but her way of coming across):

To be quick (10:10-11:23...feel free to watch it all; she holds her own incredibly well while talking about "racist white liberals".)

I won't get into politics though. Just a quick example of some good ole "you talk white".

Now, I'm not saying it's our fault that people assume that we are uneducated. That's complete nonsense! In fact, people who say that are utterly ridiculous and were probably raised in a shoebox. All I'm saying is sometimes we need to be aware of our surrounding and maintain decorum. We need to represent ourselves well when we have the CHANCE to represent ourselves well.

Not much to do about the curvy body type, but "good clothes open all doors"--Thomas Fuller

But. LET ME BE CLEAR: I'M NOT SAYING WE HAVE TO BE PRIM AND PROPER 24/7. We joke around! We have friends! We aren't always addressing the masses, we aren't always in job interviews, we aren't always acting as a guest speaker. Everyone loves to mess around. Skin color aside!

I'm ALSO saying that when a black person uses "finna" or "talmbout"...that doesn't always reflect their intelligence. I, personally, do NOT associate my intellect with my use of colloquial euphemisms. Ebonics does NOT have to be remedial. It's cultural...@Joe Biden...It can tie neighborhoods together. It can tie generations together. It's not some brain dead language the uneducated decide to use because they're "lazy".

Anyway. All in all, there are 2 things I hope those of you who actually read this take away (even if you vehemently disagree with everything I've said right down to this following parenthesis):

1) EVERYONE needs to stop treating black people, specifically women, as monolithic. We don't share one brain, we aren't all out here dragging girls and molly-whopping them in iHops across America, and some of us can carry an intellectual conversation without you having to dumb down your vocabulary.

2) Yes, it's important how you present yourself, but you shouldn't deprive yourself of going out while you're young! It's okay to have time off once in a while. If smoking weed is your thing, go do it. It's life. Live it. Don't spend the whole of it hiding and suppressing yourself of having fun with your friends.

Anyway, I'm going to try and get a good grade on this dissertation and finish this year strong so I can hit up Oxford or something. Babygyal wants guap and a good life.

All love🌊

[RetroAlpha]

I was about to write something eloquent, but I got da urge, and I'm finna flush dat commodious, ya know whud I be talmbout?

Joking. I also know that's not what commodious means :) You have to giggle a little bit about the shared root, though. Anyway, I fully agree. I have been accused of "acting white" my entire life, because my parents would beat the black off my head if I spoke "jive", "Ebonics", or any other incorrect form of the language. I do believe that sustaining otherness by feigning an accent ("sounding black") helps hold us apart as a race, and I wish our people could see that for the mistake it is. Excellent post!

[scorchedwater]

😂you got jokes, huh?

and i'm sorry about that. many people dont understand that being smart and well-spoken shouldn't be demonized just because you're a certain race and you should fit into a certain box. it causes more harm than good. im glad you enjoyed the take and im even more happy that you could relate to it! thank you:)

[dantetheexplorer]

"But, yes, it was a race thing."

I find it tiring, exhausting, and honestly, beyond the pale, how people - usually white people - try to be the ones who decide what is or is not a race thing, and on whether or not you, as a non-white, get to be offended or not by something.

This is a fantastically good read. I would give you a thousand thumbs up just for using "abecedarian" alone. I can't remember the last time I saw someone using that.

[scorchedwater]

I try to explain that a lot. that you don't get to decide whether a race gets to be offended.
and thank you! i must say, it's one of my favorite words. Thanks again for reading. i know it was long.

[Dingsbums]

Yeah I don’t know what it means. you are so articulate!
Just joking good take tho

[Beigetree123]

Thank you so much for writing this. I recently was offered a job EXCLUSIVELY based on race. He said ' I'm offering you the job, since black and female will work against you - in this situation, it has got you the job'. This is a skilled job, and I was put through 7 rounds of interviews and they took 4 references before making the above comment.
I personally found this strange, irritating and presumptuous, and in it's own way - racist. The comment was made by a white middle aged man. I prefer to be seen as a person, not a colour. The comment above really hits the nail on the head, with white people deciding what or what is not a race thing.
in my opinion - I should have been offered the job based on merit, not assumptions based on race.

[dantetheexplorer]

@Beigetree123 That sounds to me like White Savior Syndrome. Basically, he probably thinks he's doing YOU a magnanimous favor, he's one of the good guys, he saves the day - because, besides that, I can't see a good reason why the interviewer would even THINK to say something as crass as that. I mean, you got the job offer on merit!

I feel you, I do. I just want to be seen as me, Dante, and not be reduced to some caricature based on the color of my skin. I want to be treated like an individual, not a statistic.

Keep up the good fight.

[Beigetree123]

well, he treated my like dirt thereafter, so much so that I had to leave as I couldn't take it anymore! So tbh, kind of puts his motive for hiring me (especially given his weird comments at offer stage), into question.

[Beigetree123]

*Sorry, I meant 'me' ...

[xXiTacoXx]

Rather than picking a voting side just do what I've done and choose to register yourself as an independent voter. As left leaving as I am I'm not a Democrat and I damn sure am not a Republican. I've registered as an independent voter because I'm sick of a predominantly two party system that's clearly getting nobody anywhere. You can do that same for your own separate reasons. I promise you it's a lot easier than picking a side, and you won't have a huge chip on your shoulder about who to vote for or align yourself with. You'd be surprised, but there's actually quite a few of us black people who are independent voters.

[scorchedwater]

that's probably the best move for me. i'll look into it when i get back home. thanks for the advice

[xXiTacoXx]

No problem, and glad I could let you know about that option. I forgot to mention that independent voters are not the same as people from the independent party. Be careful when filling out that registration box. static.latimes.com/.../

[xXiTacoXx]

Left leaning* I didn't realize autocorrect spelled out "left leaving". Thanks for MHO by the way.

[madhatters4]

yeah i dealt with this a lot growing up as well. i didn't personally find it annoying until i was older (like a teenager) and had a better understanding for the basis of such a statement

[RolandCuthbert]

Yeah. I guess this is a factor of age. I am at the "don't care" age. I was never told I acted "White" because I listened to Johann Sebastian Bach and Franz Schubert when I was 13. I was never told I acted "White" when I was reading the Lord of Rings in high school.

I was called a "goofy". That was the absolute worse name you could be called in my generation. It meant basically "Black" nerd. And for a "Black" boy it was particularly harsh. Because the label meant, no girls for you.

But at the ripe old age of 47. I kind of feel some of the things in your post. I mean, I used to think that other "Black" people hated me because I spoke properly and was successful.

Then all that nonsense wore off in my mid-30s I think.

Now I am just in a not-caring mode. I was born into African-American Culture. I was raised by African-American women and men. I love my heritage. I am no longer ashamed of it. It seems silly to talk about it limiting me. "White" people are not "limited" by their culture. Italians are not limited by their culture. Puerto Ricans, Chinese, and so on.

So I feel it is rather pointless to convince people that I am diverse or my horizons have been expanded.

I am just me.

And I just don't give crap if people don't like me, approve of me, think I am cool or not.

I travel where I wish. I do what I please and I love my family and my friends.

That's it.

What evil things other "Black" men do, is no reflection on me. If they speak using "ebonics" . .. whatever the hell that is, does not dim what I have accomplished on my own. I am no longer "embarrassed" by "Black" people acting the fool. I don't feel any need to lecture grown people on what they need to do or how they need to live.

If they can deal with the consequences of their actions, then good for them.

But I think you need to understand something very basic.

Racism and culture are two different things. You cannot control how people treat you. You can only control how you respond and how you let it affect you. For instance think about these two different ways to be group people or to be grouped by people;

People look at my skin color and throw me into a racial group.

Others acknowledge my cultural heritage and the group I identify with.

Its weird.

We all have our groups. . . yet it seems the average GaGer actually cannot tell the difference between those two.

Like most would not understand why I would post this video in responding to your question;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpZiPZwwXhM

[SirRexington]

Sometimes you used words even in don't know. And people who talk all prim and proper typically are entitled and elitist. I don't know you. So I can't say that you are. I'm just pointing something out.
That said, ghetto bitches who speak ebonics are just as stupid and annoying. Certainly not very intelligent. That whole culture is bullshit and unintelligent. It's partly why they aren't doing better, not the only reason but part of the reason. Black culture is something that represents most black people well because it's a large part of many of their identity. But of course not all follow that culture.

And you seem not to like her either but I'll say it anyway, Candace Owens is a fucking idiot and is being used by conservatives as a "look at the young black woman we have on our side" like they did Kanye. Even Kanye was smart enough to escape. She is just happy to be making money. Candace says nothing special, the only thing different is that instead of a preppy or redneck white guy it's a black girl.

I'm glad you were privileged enough to have the education you have received. And I hope you use it responsibly to assist others in worse situations. Maybe fight for their rights to obtain an education that doesn't cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.

[scorchedwater]

lol i wouldn't say entitled or elitist. i know when i need to talk well, and i know when to slack off and use typical slang everyone uses. i even catch myself saying "arduous" and turning to everyone and saying "oo that was a dick move. that sounded so fucking pretentious. i mean long" and we all just laugh about it.
and yeah that's exactly why i wrote that about the ebonics and the roles and attitudes we show in public. it reflects so badly on us that it's fucking irritating and it keeps some people from even speaking to us or at least distancing.
mhm. i was just talking about her composure in the face of disagreement. it doesn't have to turn into a screaming match. black people are usually tokens to the conservatives.
I do wish I could do that! I want some of our tax payer dollars to somehow find it's way into education and allowing people who can't afford and education to at least have some stepping stones.. but instead of helping fellow americans, we're using billiions of dollars to provide a wall. but i guess that's a whole other subject.
thanks for reading! ik it was long asf.

[SirRexington]

It's fine. I hope you do get into politics, I certainly am. So maybe I'll see you on the House floor?

[scorchedwater]

who knows. if i continue to grow passionate in that area, honestly, yeah, i'll probably see you there.

[Tilin29]

"My dear, sweet, beautiful sisters... we need to stop taking TV roles and movie roles where we wave our fingers, roll our eyes, and swivel our necks, and continue to be mammies and caricatures that elicit all the laughs audiences love—you know the ones who act ghetto and make every black woman look like an angry, “i don’t need no man” stereotype? That people then apply to real life then claim they don’t like black girls because of their “attitudes”? That's where being well-spoken doesn't matter."

Here's the a good part of this. Milo Yiannopoulos actually spoke about the stereotypical black girl. But as he explained, it's not whites who make up that stereotype, it's the actual black community themselves. They were piss mad at him when he pointed out the fact that the black girl in the Ghost Busters (2016) movie acted just like what you'd except because of these stereotypes. He got bummed by BLM, but as the gansta that Milo is, he took all the shots and fired everything back that he could. Personally won the argument, but everyone favors their own side to win.

[scorchedwater]

yeah that's why i tried to also address black women so it wouldn't seem like im saying "oh white people always stereotyping us fuck them it's their problem, etc. etc. etc". i do believe it starts and ends with us.
but i do have to admit that Milo Yiannopoulos isn't the best with his words. he comes across as a troll. im not saying to be PC, but i've watched some of his stuff and i can't take him very seriously with all the "trump is my daddy", gay trope he puts on sometimes.

[Tilin29]

Milo is not a provocateur as he call it. Instead of politically adressing topics he rather makes them seem like stupid statements or offensive ones. But he gets people talking about them.

[scorchedwater]

i never called him that; apparently he did though. if someone can't maintain composure and address things in a serious fashion, i don't think they should be taken seriously. at that point theyre just doing it for shits and giggles and trying to pass it off as not liking to be serious or making it seem insignificant.
and i dont think he has that much of an impact. he only once in a blue moon makes radical statements that actually pick up.

[Tilin29]

@scorchedwater
That's why he's not a debater, but a provocateur. But even though he might not be professional, that doesn't make his facts any less valid.
He uses pure statistics and doesn't make things up.
He uses common sense.
He actually checks things prior to debate.
He does not debate things he does not know about or is educated enough in debating.

But he's also a comedian and to get people to like your opinion, sometimes you just gotta make them laugh.

Even if the impact is every once in a while, that's just his point. The people that agree with all his points are already on his side, those don't matter to him. He just needs to get a statement out that gets people talking about the topic.

Just like when BoyInABand made a video titled "Don't stay in school" and no one listened to the song and judged it off it's name. But then people started talking about it and it's actually even come to the attention of my teachers.

[scorchedwater]

you can't use pure stats or facts in an opinion. what he said about black women is an opinion, so to be fair, if he came of callous, it's bc of him. opinions aren't fact.

and I don't know, i don't know what boyinaband is.

[Tilin29]

Yes, I didn't state that it was a fact. But opinions should have some factual grounds. Stereotypes after all are stereotypes, because of a common repeated event, behavior by a certain social, biological or other group.

But the enforcement of these stereotypes is usually done by the people affected. Men will teach their sons that they're not men if they don't do this and that. Women will tell their daughters they're not women if they don't do this and that.

Boyinaband - Don't stay in school: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xe6nLVXEC0 (Worth the watch)

[CharlesLuck59]

As I was growing up in NYC in the 60's and 70's; I was a kid in single digits when I was mugged at knife point by two little black kids equally as young. It shaped how I felt about Black people for the rest of my life.

Over the years, I watch how crime and poverty follow Black people around from neighborhood to neighborhood; as white middle class neighborhoods turned into poor Black ghettos. Today, we have urban centers; where Black people call home, that are more like war zones than neighborhoods. How long will they be waiting for the someone to come along with a bail out? It's been fifty years since the civil rights movement. If any one Black person can become educated and successful, I believe that they all can.

Don't be too hard on yourself for being Black and educated or "articulate", if you will. I have met and gotten to know many black people whom I admire and respect.

So when I say this, you can believe me... I have many reasons to dislike African Americans, but the color of their skin isn't one of them.

[MLGbreezy]

I didn't read the full my own take cause its rather long. but I can tell that I already agree with almost everything your probably talking about, Your very smart and i love what this my take is here to do and that's wake a lot of black people up. While there are some small thing I'd want to address if like to fully read your my take first and leave a proper reply later. Great my take

[scorchedwater]

lol i tried to break it up w pics, but i guess it is a bit lengthy. i just got on a roll😅thanks for reading SOME.

[MLGbreezy]

Yeah I could tell it was pulling me in but I'm also busy so I'll have to read the rest later so I can give a proper response I hate not fully reading things cause I might miss something

[scorchedwater]

yeah, i may just repost it in a condensed version when im allowed to take it down in a day or so.

[MLGbreezy]

Yeah that's an option as well way either way it's a good my take

[HereIbe]

You are going to hate me, but my wife has reported many times to me that it is the black community that demonizes education and eloquence the most. She has told me of the many times that her neighborhood held big parties to welcome back somebody from prison and NO parties to celebrate someone getting a 4-year degree, and those degrees were rather common, but the kids then moved out and never looked back (wonder why). Getting a degree was seen as "acting white". And speaking well? That was "being a Tom".

[Guanfei]

"So, because I have an above average vocabulary of the "typical" black person, I'm so out of the ordinary that you just HAVE TO point it out"

Well, yes. And you can only blame the black community for that, because you are a minority. Not a "racial" minority, but an eloquent minority.

The cop pointed it out exactly because the black community he sees everyday is not like that. You're pointing fingers at everyone, but not the black community. Yet they're the one responsible for the image they're carrying. Just because you're eloquent doesn't mean they all are, and the fact that people are surprised by it shows you that the problem isn't the others, but your own community.

Want to fix that? Turn around, look at your community, and tell them to make the exception you are into a majority. Then people won't be surprised, because it will be a norm, not an exception.

[amarahorrorstory]

Nice piece. I know exactly what you're talking about. Black girl from a place with a 98% white population.

[scorchedwater]

Oof. Tell me about it... glad you can relate!

[amarahorrorstory]

it's been a learning process for sure

[megaman242]

Hate and ignorance is not something you born with you learn it, but if someone can learn it they can unlearn it. But the thing with language I get it a tiny bit, I am not English so I would get an accent no matter how hard I try, so there that. But I will not notice it in any way if I talk to a foreign person that lives in my country. For me a foreign person is just a good thing, adds more Richness to the country and that always nice.

[Grond21]

You invited me to give an opinion on this. I thought it was well done.

However, I wonder if I can say anything critical, because I am a white man. These days, only those from the minority in question can give an opinion without getting jumped on. Maybe that is just life on the internet now.

But if you are looking for a more in depth answer, I would be happy to PM you

[scorchedwater]

no, i'd love to here your opinion whether on here or in my inbox.
i don't think skin color should hinder someones ability to give an opinion. that's ridiculous. message me!:)

[scorchedwater]

*hear

[winterfox10]

I think you are 1000% right! I would also like to add a side note; being eloquent demonstrates a sense of belonging. I have had the opportunity to meet people of varying eloquence through out my life, and it has invariably improved my interactions with people. I think the one exception was when I was talking with a drunk redneck. Keeping things simple and crude worked a little bit better with him.

[apple24]

Its not just black women its also how the media portrays us!

[scorchedwater]

exactly! That's why i addressed media, too. I can't even get through a movie with an overly stereotyped black woman

[lord_chilled]

good take. and i believe everyone should kinda move away from mainstream media a bit. its doing more harm than good.

[BigJake]

The sort of assumption of incompetence doesn't plague blacks uniquely. White Southerners are tagged by Northerners with the same sort of condescending labels. Blacks, too, make a number of assumptions about us, most of which are negative in nature, so it works both ways. Everyone should treat others as individuals ahead of the labels we might ascribe to them based on whatever category we think they might fit.

[scorchedwater]

you and another girl made this big mistake. not once did i invalidate anyone else experiences with their own struggles based on preconceived (idiotic) notions. if you feel that's something you face, i'll be glad to read it.

[BigJake]

Nope, no mistakes were made in my post.

"... if you feel that's something you face, i'll be glad to read it."

Judging by the dismissiveness toward my very moderate response, you likely wouldn't be even willing to understand, let alone glad to do so. All I am trying to elucidate here is that what many blacks think are experiences unique to them are actually shared by other groups. That's all.

[scorchedwater]

there were. you missed the entire point, which, is a mistake.

that's not a dismissive response. that's an encouraging response. if you feel strongly about that subject, if you write something on it, i'll be glad to read it.

how do you expect me to write from a white, southern male perspective? you really think a black girl from the DMV would understand that narrative?

[BigJake]

Nope. You aren't the arbiter of cosmic truth. You're entitled to your point of view, but so am I, and mine is just as valid as yours. I do feel strongly about the subject, which is why I responded to your mytake. You seem to have missed that part of the equation. I don't expect you to write from my perspective, which is why I did so myself!

[scorchedwater]

okay, good. as long as you don't expect me to address the issue of white, southern men that i know nothing about.

[Nivinxus]

Interesting stuff from your take and I do agree with your points, but just a minor gripe with your take. Please use sub-headings and stuff. Pictures are nice, but I got lost a bit and it did feel more like a rant.

[scorchedwater]

yeah that's noted, someone pointed that out too. i even looked if i could edit posts or delete them and repost them, but it doesn't allow it. thanks for reading though!

[Nivinxus]

That's cool, I look forward to reading future takes from you.

[JulieRoze7]

Girl know exactly what you mean!!!

[kira992]

I love the elegant look! Keep doing you.

[NYCQuestions1976]

Nice.

[Secretgardenblood]

Nice mytake