No, nice pie pleading always finish last. There's a difference between being nice and letting people use you. You have to learn how to be firm with your decisions and know when to say no. You can't expect people to not walk all over you when you don't know when to show them that they have crossed the line. You can't expect people to not walk all over you when you always please everyone.
There's a big difference between being a bitch and standing up for yourself. It also depends in the type of people you surround yourself with. If they're the kind of people who just want things out of you you also need to change who you got in your life.
Let me say this, I'm pretty cold hearted on the surface, and people think an asshole, I don't care that they think I'm an asshole and as for the cold hearted part, it's true I kindof am, but people will still step all over you and take advantage of you and it still hurts just as much, but when people see that you're hurt it's almost even worse because they think all of a sudden you're a "softie" or whatever.
Don't change, don't be cold hearted or a bitch, just be a little more guarded and realize when people act like that it's not your fault, you're not the one who should change, they should because they are obviously shitty people.
You start being too honest. You move up the "bitch" scale 10 times quicker.
Why does it have to be either extreme?
Accept there's some bad guys in the world, but be intelligent enough to not think all men are the same. Don't be a bitch, but do be less naive. Don't lose your sweet nature, but do realise when you're being walked all over.
If you become a bitch- people will avoid you. They don't care what brought you to that point. If a waitress is rude to you, do you give a shit that she might have had a bad day, or do you just see her as rude?
Most people have a reason to be a bitch or an arsehole at times, it's how you handle it that determines the strength of your character.
Nice people "Get Used" if you don't want to get used stop being such a kiss-ass I was like that for a long time and I burned a hole in my pocket, gained practically no friends and can't even get a girl so don't be that people pleasing ass. Just say no be selfish things will work out better for you most normal people or average people seem like rude people but I guess you can't have it all. I changed I am still nice but to an extent I am not breaking my back to get nothing in return unless I feel bad for you!
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It just happens and it's almost as bad. Like I worry that now I won't ever really care about anyone ever again. I just eventually after getting walked on over and over again just lost the ability to really feel anything. I'm not a sociopath or anything, it's like there's a set limit on my emotions. I like girls but for years now that's as far as it goes. Just saying, it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Just keep being who you are. It'll get better. The people around me have gotten so much better, it just almost doesn't matter because I'm just numb to it.
Good luck :)
Find yourself a douchebag/asshole/bady boy and mimic him. Let me know how that turns out.
In all seriousness though, plenty of guys make this sort of thread all the time and all they ever get from girls is "You're just not looking for the right one!" That's not really any help. From one of your comments down below, I see that you have often gotten used a lot by members of your own family. That sort of thing has a very deep impact, believe me. Don't simply try to "please" people and expect to be loved, that's what I'm saying.
No absolutely not. Don't let this world change you, who you really are. I am the exact same, EXACT SAME and I'm sick of it, but will I play the same game the people below me play? No, I will rise above it. I'll let them decide for themselves how they want to act. Some people realize how they've treated people and will try and fix it, these people care, and some will just continue to be mean. It's very hard to watch this, be strong, suck it up, and be the better person. Nice people will never finish last. I HATE that phrase. You can be nice and strong and finish first.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. I'm nice and no one walks over me, because I'm not afraid to tell people off, or cut them out of my life completely. Just treat everyone as they treat you. That's how I manage to surround myself with people that wouldn't want to take advantage of me.
I think if you are frustrated with your passiveness, eventually you will change naturally. It happened to me a couple years ago, I recognized my problems and starting thinking about it a lot. The more it was on my mind the more my actions matched. Now I am more assertive and don't give a fuck if people don't like me anymore. I've progressed much farther these past 2 years than trying to be a nice guy before then.
It's easier said than done, I still haven't managed it myself and I'm 42. Some people just can't be a cold hearted bitch no matter how hard we try, butyou can learn how to be less naive and learn who wants to be around you for you and not what you van or will do for them.
You can be nice but also be confident and assertive. You don't have to be a bitch to not get walked over. You can NICELY say what you think.
How?
By being hurt. Being trampled. and letting it get to you.. letting it eat you up..
Be my ex lol but be nice and avoid relationships I til you trust someone don't turn cold towards people its not right trust me I tried that and it didn't work out.
a bitch? maybe a girl that can open her mouth and don't let herself get shit on. learn to be gross towards people you don't like, you don't need to be "appreciated" by the world. cold-hearted? another mistake, you don't need to be cold hearted but to release aggression when you need to, controlled aggression.
"Sometimes I am the statue and you're the Pidgeon, Today you're the Statue and I'm the Pidgeon"
A good girl gets her heart broken by an asshole and becomes a bitch. A bitch breaks a good boys heart and he becomes an asshole.
Why would you wanna do that my dream is to date a sweet caring and loving girl
It may seem that nice people are losers but on the long run the are the winners. They might lose a few battles but they go on to win the war.
Question is stupid.
Why can't you just be a good, strong, yet firm person? Kindness doesn't mean weakness. Shit, you're surrounded by enough comic books and Marvel movies to know what a strong, yet generous person is like. There are plenty of people like that in real life (sans the powers but, you get the idea).
Ya that's me was innocent n became cold hearted, but now I found my balance in life. I choose who to care for, and who's worth it. Don't let people who don't care about you change the person you really are, just stop caring for them!
it usually comes from someone fucking her over in some type pf way. it almost never comes up for no reason.
stop being nice
do not offer help
do not give them pencils or erasers or whatever they ask for
turn them down politely
make more excuses
you can be nice and sweet and also not be used... this sounds like an intellectual problem,
Crazy how hard it can be to actually not give a fuck sometimes.
That's like asking what's first, the egg or the chicken.
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