Am I lame...21st birthday?

[Anonymous]

Soo today was my 21st birthday. For weeks people have been asking me what I'm doing and trying to make plans with me and I've just said... I wanna have cake and wine somewhere really quiet with my family and thats ALL.

So I went to this little bar/restaurant that I love because it's really quiet and mellow. Plus they sell wine from a family friend's vineyard so I got a glass of that and a piece of cake and just chilled out and talked to my family.

Well my parents left to have a cigarette and the bartender kinda started giving me a hard time xD he said that I need to go out and party and get wasted, even if I'm not a party girl, cuz I only turn 21 once.. and all this stuff... and it got me feeling kinda bad.

On top of that my friends texted me later asking why I didn't hang with them tonight and I'm like... I went out, I bought a legal drink.. I just wanna watch House of Cards and chill now :/

Am I lame for this? Everyone's making me feel like I'm gonna regret not acting stupid. I just don't feel obligated to get drunk and party just because I turned 21. But will I regret not making a bigger memory out of tonight :(?

[dangerDoge]

First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Congrats on being able to drink-- well, at least legally. :D

And nah, you can do whatever you want. Birthdays are days where one can go out of their way to do what they want to do. While most people may think that means throwing a big party or going anf getting wasted, that doesn't mean it is for everyone.

My sister is like you-- she isn't much of party person. So from that, she just had a low key time. She hung out with family (with me as the designated driver 😑) and got herself a margarita and such at a local restaurant. Not fancy. She then went out with friends and got drinks at a later date and does so every once in awhile.

What is important is that you are happy with what you are doing. You are chillin and just taking it easy, and you seem to be happy with that, so that is perfectly ok.

Besides, there are plenty of other times to get drunk and have a party. Don't people ruin your birthday. Spend it how you wanna spend it!

[BeeNee]

Wait a minute, who's birthday/life is it? At the start of this you said you wanted cake, mellowness, and a legal glass of wine, and you got that and then you let what someone else's idea of a good time is override the good time you had on YOUR birthday. I'm an introvert. I enjoy low key mega party-less birthdays AND I've never had a drink in my life, and I'm 33 and have never regretted the fact that at 21, I went out to eat with my ten friends, had good conversations, and then went back to my dorms for icecream and a movie with my besty. The only thing you will ever regret in life is not doing what makes YOU happy. Never forget that.

[BaileyisDarcy]

Nope. I hate that my eighteenth was so small, but only because i didn't get to choose how it was spent. I wanted to have a party. I got a tiny get together at a pub and a cake that was way too rich.

You won't regret it because it was your choice. You would have regretted it only if youd done what everyone else told you to rather than what you wanted.

[Kris85]

Nah, do what you want. I had plans to go out and party on my 21st even though I had already been legal for two years here up in Canada but I was a big partier back then and I ended up breaking my ankle that day so I got to sit at home all doped up on meds with a cast. No one should make you feel bad for the way you want to spend your birthday.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you go out and get drunk and do something stupid, you may create a memory you will be trying to forget the rest of your life. Tell your friends that if they love you, they will let you live the life that you want.

[fueledbythc]

Damn sounded more eventful than my 21st. For some reason I don't tell people my birthday as I was growing up I was always the center of attention and I hate attention now. So for my 21st, I just got up, played league of legends until like 4pm, and drove out to my buddies place to go blaze, drink and chill like we do every other day.

I feel your birthday is just any other day and I think I deserve nothing for the day. Others can make a huge deal about their own birthday. You may regret not partying and going hard but if partying isn't something you find pleasure in then I don't think you will regret it. I don't regret not telling people when my birthday is. I've done enough crazy and stupid things before I was 18.

[imnotcrearive]

lol no you're not gonna regret not acting stupid. Honestly I think everyone is just giving you a hard time. The bartender (if it was a dude) was probably using that to start small talk/hit on you and your friends are probably just bantering you because thats what friends are for :P

[Spiorad_Aisce]

First of all, Happy Birthday then your birthday, your choice - Your night to me sounds lovely - You enjoyed it that was main thing - I never agreed with you have to go crazy to mark things just do things according her nature - My niece was 21 recently, she made a song and dance of it but that is the way she is, yours on that night was a quiet celebration with your family but I bet you both had as equally a good time.

[Red_Arrow]

Happy birthday!
You did what you wanted. Do not try to second guess that now. You had a good time so don't worry about what others think you should have done.
And maintaining sobriety, even on your birthday, is not lame, and will work better for you every time.

[Ginnyweasley97]

No you definitely aren't. I plan to do something similar because parties were never my thing. Except since this summer I plan to go to Scotland with my sister, I want to go to a distillery and make my own alcohol and then send it back. That way when I turn 21, my first drink will be alcohol I made when I was 19. Have a happy birthday!

[grinning_totem]

It was my 32nd the other day. I went and stood on a lawn, looking at some trees. Then I went shopping, comfort ate for a while, took some phone calls from family members and then went to sleep.

So yeah, you're a social whirlwind compared to me.

You do you, and other people can do them.

[Dandeus]

you won't regret not being stupid. nobody does.

As you get a bit older, you start realizing the hubbub over birthdays is artificial and arbitrary. Just use them as an excuse to do whatever makes you happy, nor what's expected of you.

Also, happy birthday.

[mrsingle]

You certainly had more options than I did. I had no friends, didn't go out anywhere except to a funeral. If people wanted to take me out I would of been like Hell yeah! I'm not much of a drinker but would of found something worth doing like a strip club.

[Anonymous]

First of all... Happy birth day and wish you all the best. No, I think you aren't lame at all. When I turn 21, I'll do the exact thing as you do, 'have fun' with my family. Twenty first birthday is a big day and a special day right? Because we only turn 21 once so don't waste it for things you don't want to do.

[hero-hero]

every year will be ur first , u will turn 22 once , 23 once.. etc. i mean every birthday is special , nothing is soo special about 21 in my opinion. u need to do what makes u comfortable in ur birthday , and u dont need to do stupid things that u will regret after and feel bad about. no one can blame u for doing what u want , that is ur natural right

[justabasicguy]

You know how I spend my 21st birthday?

I woke up. Took out trash. Went to work. Came home. Went to McDonalds and ate a Big Mac.

There was no "people/friends/coworkers/family" just me and a cheap burger. No booze or hookers either, actually screw hooker thing, there wasn't even a cake. Now i been celebrating my birthday like this for past 9 years.

And I never cared.

[Waffles731]

I didn't even drink on my twenty first, hell it was valentines day and my girlfriend broke up with me

[Waffles731]

Happy 21st birthday though,
Hope yours was better than mine

[Asker]

Oh my goodness I'm sorry ;(

[Asker]

And thanks! <3

[vekin]

It isn't nice people make you feel bad like that on your birthday, it is your choice how to spend it

i.ytimg.com/vi/rR9i-Mjjsws/maxresdefault.jpg

[e900325151]

Happy belated 21st Birthday! No your not lame for this. Everyone has different personality's and preferences. You seem more of a home-body and you are perfectly okay with that. Why let other people change/ruin your mood?

[ThisDudeHere]

Congratulations :)
I myself had my 21st birthday last Tuesday and I spent it eating cake with my family as well. But at the very least you had friends who offered you to hang out... so that's something at least.

[SüßeJäger]

Bullshit. Do what you want to. Fuck the rest of them. I didn't anything either.

[SüßeJäger]

Do******

[Asker]

It just seems so arbitrary to say you have to go out and get drunk that day. I don't even like alcohol that much. I drink it to relax when I do, not get crazy

[SüßeJäger]

I don't like it either. It tastes like shit.

[Octavius]

Bartender's an ass. No you're not lame. Most people look back on their 21st in shame and think of how they got blacked out drunk made an ass out of themselves being drunk in public and threw up all over the place.

[ZekeGaymer]

You aren't lame, you did what you wanted. How would they know you would regret it later? They aren't you and obviously none of them tried what you did and regretted it later, they all partied.

[kittykatbrat]

*************************HAPPY BIRTHDAY*********************

U did u, so why let others get in your head (rhetorical)

Peace with many happy returns xoxoxo :) :) :)