Do you think guys care if a woman is promiscuous?

[Anonymous]

The other day, one of my best friend (a guy) told me that most guys don't want to be with a woman who is promiscuous. I was a little shocked because I've never heard a guy say that before. I've seen some people say it on this size, however I thought it was just a few angry guys on the internet. I had no idea guys actually cared about that. This was one of my best friends and he wasn't lying, so now I'm not sure if guys do care and they don't talk about it or if they genuinely don't care. What do you think?

Most guys do care if a woman is promiscuous, but they generally don't talk about it

Most guys don't care if a woman is promiscuous so they don't talk about it

Other

[pnl86]

I face-palmed so hard when I saw those poll results.

First of all: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selection_bias (consider the kinds of people that a site like GaG attracts, and whether it's a good overall representation of the general population - and more importantly - the kinds of guys you are interested in and like).

Secondly, my "wife" used to be a prostitute in high school. She would have sex with guys that were in their late 40s. Sometimes for money, other times, for alcohol, or "stuff." What does that say about her character and personality today? It's easy to say, "Oh, that girl is a slut, blah blah blah," but what does that actually mean? What does it "actually mean?" What kind of negative character or personality trait are you insinuating or worried about? How does the number of sexual partners affect that? Why can't you just come out and say, "I have a small penis and I don't know how to please a woman, so I'm afraid that if she's been with more men, then she may not be satisfied with me, therefore I have a very good reason to INVENT some kind of BS reason/excuse/justification/rationalization that will vilify a woman who basically aggravates and doesn't pacify my fears and insecurities as a man?"

Third, you know what guys like more than women with a "low number?" Women who aren't asexual, and actually enjoy sex with a man, love penis, and aren't shy about loving men and penis, or sex. Except pedophiles, they like the scarred and horrified little girl routine right before she's going to get tentacle raped. But if men were a table in Las Vegas, I would put my chips on "Sex" every single time.

Fourth, and because of the aforementioned, do you know what guys are generally scared of and worry about? Being stuck in a sexless marriage. Sure, you can get divorced, but who wants to do that? Much easier financially and socially to just "keep going with it and endure it until you die." The drawback of that is, you're still stuck in that relationship. That's who your sexual partner is. A woman who prided herself on being "pure and proper." So, if that's the message you were sending out to women, don't complain when that's what you get in the bedroom.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consistency_(negotiation) (there is no "lady in the street, freak in the sheets"; that's a myth; people have a psychological need to be consistent; so, if that's how she is in public, she's not that much different in private).

[TakeMaker]

I agree apart from the very last bit.

I was promiscuous in my youth, had a fabulous time being young and single. Very few regrets... but I was smart and made sure my encounters were discreet. I didn't have a reputation and I think it's a pride issue with lots of men. Can't be seen to be just another dude some girl is fucking.

I don't understand when the candid confessions of past lovers is made though. I have no interest in his many women my boyfriend has fucked, I don't know why people would care... and by the time you've gotten to know them well enough to ask the question... surely you're invested by then? Would a number really affect your feelings for a person? I dunno... People have weird hang ups eh?

[pnl86]

@TakeMaker I hear what you're saying about the very last point. You can be discrete and consistent. You're not going to flinch when a guy talks about sex. You're not going to have this disgusted or offended look on your face when the conversation goes there, like someone just murdered your family. You're not going to blow the guy under the table either. But, your "software" has been programmed through the years so that this type of communication or message doesn't register as "offensive" or "highly inappropriate," etc. That's "consistent" with the same software that runs when you're being intimate with a guy (in private).

When a person isn't this way, male or female, they FREEZE, and then try and rationalize it by riding the moral high horse, "Ah! I'm so offended. Ah! This is highly inappropriate!" What do you expect with such a person when it comes time to be intimate in private?

[TakeMaker]

I agree, someone who can't even discuss things in a general way is most likely not going to be open and accepting sexually of your own desires and needs or of other peoples. That certainly isn't a match for me.

[Fearless_banana]

Lmao your wife used to be a prostitute. Good for you. You obviously aren't rendering some extreme personal bias in regards to this question and misconstruing basic sociological theories to fit your narrative.

[Fearless_banana]

"How does the number of sexual partners affect that? Why can't you just come out and say, "I have a small penis and I don't know how to please a woman,"

So you are deeming every man with martial preferences in this regard to having a small penis and not being able to please a woman? You lost me there.

Let me lay down some raw logic for you
>It's not in a woman's best interest to fuck a bunch of different guys from a sociological perspective and for how men and women are biologically wired.
>For this reason it would raise a red flag and a question as to why she did it
>If she fucked around this much because she was feeling lonely or was in a depressive hole then that is likely a strong indication of this being how she copes with loneliness and insecurity. The past has a way of repeating itself.. if this is her coping mechanism then who is to say that she won't resort back to old ways when you guys have a hiccup in the relationship?

[Fearless_banana]

That's how most men think whether women and men such as yourself are offended by it or not. Like I said stereotypes exist for a reason.

[Fearless_banana]

A lot of other men would never marry a former prostitute because they look at sex from a different angle as you do and they are entitled to that. A lot of men look at sex of having more substance and emotion. That doesn't mean they all have small dicks and can't please a woman. That is a ridiculous statement to say.

[Fearless_banana]

People are entitled to their preferences just as you are for we are all brought up differently and raised with different values. You just dismiss everyone elses preferences incorrect or null because of your own. Then follow up by shaming them. That in itself is the definition of narcissism.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana "It's not in a woman's best interest to fuck a bunch of different guys from a sociological perspective and for how men and women are biologically wired."

^^ bla bla bla bla

www.science20.com/.../how_female_promiscuity_can_be_smart_move_evolution-95169

www.sciencemag.org/.../benefits-being-promiscuous

www.theguardian.com/.../anthonybrowne.theobserver

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks We have discussed this so many times already lol. That first study is merely an idea to be put in perspection. The seconds doesn't recognize the other side only showing the benefits. The third.. I can find 20 other articles and studies that contradict that. I'll just rebuttal with my take.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a29147-slut-shaming-we-need-to-stop-abusing-that-term

I'm sorry but a lot of men would never want to marry a prostitute and I'm not going to just ignore that sound politically correct.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana I'm totally with you here, in two cases: (1) prostitution, and (2) cases where a woman continually allows herself to be manipulated into having sex to satisfy OTHER people's desires (= not her own).

In fact, I probably define "prostitution" a lot more liberally than you do. If I were a guy, not only would I be unwilling to commit to a woman who was *literally* a prostitute... I'd also be unwilling to commit to a woman who'd ever been a sugar baby, a gold digger, or had even insisted that the man pay for stuff in general. (To me, ALL of these things are basically still "prostitution", in some way shape or form.)

The point, though, is that the SEX has nothing to do with my reservations here, as a hypothetical dude.
The reservations are based on (1) the idea that she's willing to sell herself -- in any case except the most grinding poverty -- and/or (2) that she can't stand up for herself and her own desires.
THOSE are the problems.
Not the sex.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks iws2.collin.edu/.../evolutionary_psych.htm

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana Uhhh... there's "simple" and there's "simplistic", and that link is definitely on the "simplistic" side.

I mean... it assumes that women are "hardwired" to get their sex AND their long-term provision from the same guy!
Loooool

I mean, everyone knows that our attraction changes markedly around the time of ovulation, so it's pretty much obvious that it's stupid to even think about all of that stuff coming from a single "mate".

The real deal is in my opinions here:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1925574-women-are-biologically-programmed-to-want-a-man-who-is-protective-a

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1926143-women-are-biologically-programmed-to-want-to-marry-the-good-guys

Especially that second one.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks "(1) the idea that she's willing to sell herself -- in any case except the most grinding poverty -- and/or (2) that she can't stand up for herself and her own desires."

Which is my point precisely. It's not that a lot of men are grossed out by the fact that they have had that many dicks inside them when considering a relationship. It's the fact of the reasoning behind it when considering a monogamous relationship. Choices people make is a direct indication of their character.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks It's for the sole fact that women are going against the grain of evolutionary biology when they sleep with a multitude of partners. As a result that raises the flag and makes men question why. It's not because they have small penises and can't satisfy a woman like pnl86 here is suggesting.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana Nah. Sexually successful guys don't give shit #1 about "how many dicks she's had inside her". That's something that (1) insecure guys, (2) guys who can't get laid, and/or (3) guys who are prudes themselves think about.

*IF* a man who's actually sexually successful looks down on a woman who's been promiscuous, it has NOTHING to do with "other dicks inside her", and EVERYTHING to do with the aforementioned character traits (willingness to sell herself and/or being too easily influenced).

If a woman has had a lot of sexual partners because she just likes to fuck, then NO sexually successful man will judge that. Doesn't happen.

Also... if you *did* have this situation that internet shut-ins dream up -- where a guy who's fucked lots and lots of women decides to marry a prudish girl -- then that guy is going to be fucking miserable, guaranteed.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks Not sure if you're reading what I trying to convey here correctly.
"*IF* a man who's actually sexually successful looks down on a woman who's been promiscuous, it has NOTHING to do with "other dicks inside her", and EVERYTHING to do with the aforementioned character traits (willingness to sell herself and/or being too easily influenced)."

That's exactly what I said.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks
"Nah. Sexually successful guys don't give shit #1 about "how many dicks she's had inside her". That's something that (1) insecure guys, (2) guys who can't get laid, and/or (3) guys who are prudes themselves think about."

I don't agree with that either. A lot of men are brought up with different values and look at sex from a much different perspective than you. They can look at sex with more emotion and substance. They are entitled to their values just as you are. That doesn't mean that they insecure guys who don't have the option to get laid say. I recognized that not all women do this out of insecurity but you have to recognize that not all guys who have different values than yourself are to be deemed negatively with derogetory means.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana The guys who necessarily associate sex with "emotion and substance" are the guys who are going to be, relatively speaking, prudes (number 3 above). Guys like that aren't going to accumulate a big sexual history... and so it's perfectly reasonable that they'd be most comfortable with the same thing from a partner.

Basically, it boils down to "promiscuous guys are totally OK settling down with promiscuous girls".
Fact. End of.

__

Also, I'm using the phrase "sexually successful" to describe guys who fuck a large variety of women.
The "sex = emotion and substance" guys are going to be excluded from that category. Not because they can't get laid, but because they wouldn't WANT to fuck a large variety of women.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks Sure I can agree with that but you also labeled them as insecure or guys who don't have options. I feel that knife is thrown out waay too much. Seems like every dude who has martial preferences is attacked using those words. In theory it does play out like that but people seem to only assume the first two and that's where the problem arises.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks Great example is this guy who started the opinion. He seems to think that if men won't marry a prostitute they have a small penis and can't satisfy a woman.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana
"Sure I can agree with that but you also labeled them as insecure or guys who don't have options"

^^ I wrote "and/or", not "and". That wasn't an accident.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks I know. I recognized that. I said in theory you are absolutely correct in your allocation there. Most people willingly dismiss that last part and that's when the problem arises. I mentioned the guy who wrote this opinion is a great example.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana Yeah, well. I think the situation described in the original opinion is fucking weird -- but, some people do change over years and years.

MUCH more importantly, though -- the other problem with yr statements here is that they aren't really applicable to the real world, because in most cases you won't have any way of determining a woman's actual sexual history... other than what she tells you.

In other words:

YOU SAY:
"Some men will look down on a woman who's had lots of sexual partners"

THE REALITY:
"Some men will look down on a woman who SAYS that she's had lots of sexual partners"

^^ That.

The problem is that all she has to do is... well... lie. Or just not tell you stuff.
Unless you live in some tiny micro-community where everyone literally knows everyone, it's IMPOSSIBLE for you to have any idea of her sexual history, beyond what she tells you herself. So, in other words, if what you say here is true, the only outcome is just that women will learn to

[redeyemindtricks]

... shut up about their histories.

I mean... I lived in 6 different countries in my early-mid 20's. For all people know, I could have fucked hundreds and hundreds of guys in those countries, and, *obviously*, there would be no way anyone could EVER possibly find out. (In reality, I was a lot LESS promiscuous in other countries than I was back home in the States... but that's not the point.)

So yeahhh... regardless of whatever truth value there might be to anything you're saying, it's kinda useless in the real world, unless yr girl is Miss Overshare REALLY early in a relationship.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks When settling down I think their sexual history should be disclosed. Just as her family values.. her past relationships and why they failed.. I want to know everything about that person. Why would I just negate the topic of her sexual history as well because it's politically incorrect to bring it up? Her sleeping around could've been a pivotal phase during her life that as a lot more meaning behind just sticking dicks inside of her. I certainly wouldn't want me partner lying to me about anything when settling down.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks It's not useless though. You even admitted the reason guys are turned off about it is for the reasoning behind it. Like I said that could of been some pivotal phase in her life that developed her into the person she is today. I'd very well like to know my partner's sexual history if I was settling down. I wouldn't want a partner who would lie to me.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana I didn't say you wouldn't/shouldn't bring it up.
What I said was that lots of women will figure out that it's easy enough to just lie about it -- and that there are NO potential negative consequences of that kind of lying, too.

Dude, guys are SUPER easy to read when it comes to this stuff. Whether a dude will be judgy about this sort of thing, is something you can see from 500 yards out. So, if a girl gets that sort of read from a guy, then -- from a purely economic/strategic/game-theoretic standpoint -- it'd be stupid for her to tell the truth, and smart for her to lie.

The only comeback you could possibly have here is "ethics"... but that's my point. From a purely utilitarian point of view, the girl has ZERO incentive to tell the truth here. SHE GAINS NOTHING AT ALL from telling the truth -- and, as demonstrated here, she risks a lot.

Me personally, I'd rather just not get into a relationship with a boy who'd be judgy about that shit, but I'm not talking about me.

[redeyemindtricks]

"I wouldn't want a partner who would lie to me"

^^ I agree with you here, probably more than YOU even agree with you. For me, ANY lie -- even ONE lie about something totally stupid and insignificant -- is enough to destroy an entire relationship.

But... again, that's all theory, because IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO EVER KNOW IF SHE'S LYING about this.

If she lies about her past sexual partners -- unless you live in some creepy Peyton Place where everyone knows everyone else's business -- then the probability that she'll be caught in the lie is 0.00000000000 percent.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks

" I didn't say you wouldn't/shouldn't bring it up."

Dude you described someone disclosing that information as Miss Overshare lol. You clearly were advocating deception in this regard. Your follow up statement even proves to encompass more truth. Yes ethical reasons are valid but it goes deeper than that. I want to know everything about my partner and their sexual history included if I was committing myself to them and settling down. Her directly lying to me about something is a huge insult and deception/lies certainly does have consequences in a relationship. If she doesn't have the courage to be genuine and real about herself as a person in fear that I'd reject her then I wouldn't want to fcking date her tbh.

[Fearless_banana]

I'd just refer back to my previous statement..
"When settling down I think their sexual history should be disclosed. Just as her family values.. her past relationships and why they failed.. I want to know everything about that person. Why would I just negate the topic of her sexual history as well because it's politically incorrect to bring it up? Her sleeping around could've been a pivotal phase during her life that as a lot more meaning behind just sticking dicks inside of her. I certainly wouldn't want me partner lying to me about anything when settling down."

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks You are saying that a woman should lie to her partner because their it's not in their best interest. No incentive because they are scared of being judged or rejected. That's bitch made shit in my opinion. If she can't disclose her past without lies (everything with sex included) when settling down with me out of fear then I don't want her. Plus she should be able to trust me that I wouldn't reject her. That's insecurity.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana I used Miss Overshare = blabbing about it SUPER EARLY in the relationship (when it's just TMI).

__

"Her directly lying to me about something is a huge insult and deception/lies certainly does have consequences in a relationship. If she doesn't have the courage to be genuine and real about herself as a person in fear that I'd reject her then I wouldn't want to fcking date her tbh"

^^ Again, I'll say the same thing:
• IDEALLY, I'm totally with you here.
• REALISTICALLY, you have to understand that you'll NEVER know if she lies **about this one thing** -- especially if she picks up on the fact that you have weirdly strong feelings about it.

Maybe I just suck at communication today, but, my point has nothing to do with whether yr concerns are well-founded. My point is that you're saying "I wouldn't want to date someone who ___", where "____" is something that's impossible to find out unless she *wants* you to find out.

Also, don't take this the wrong way, but... if

[redeyemindtricks]

you're at the point of considering settling down with someone, then, you should already know EVERYTHING you need to know about that person's character -- just from being around that person, and seeing their day-to-day behavior, and *reading* her.

In other words -- if you've known a girl for more than a couple of months and her sexual history is even *capable* of changing yr opinion of her... then you are basically admitting that you suck at reading people.
Because, if you didn't, you would already have figured out everything you need to know about how she views men, and sexuality, and relaitonships (since those things are more or less impossible to hide)... and there would be NO NEED TO EVEN ASK about an explicit sexual history.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks Well that's where you logical fails. When I settle down it's a mutual subconscious agreement to open up to each other. I refuse for a second to accept some false pretense reality that she will most likely lie to me about certain things because it's not in her best interest. Nope.. not for a second. If I'm giving her my 100% then she is giving me her 100%. Not just things that make her look good. If I was catching onto deception when I myself am opening up then it would most likely result with me initiating a breakup. I don't think her nit picking and choosing what she discloses that only fit her best interest is reality at all.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana Ok, look, for the 127845231859621948th fucking time, I don't disagree with you about lies being deal-breakers.
But, if you think you COULD actually "catch onto deception" (yr words) when asking someone about her sexual history, then... seriously, you are delusional.

I mean, the whole trope about how certain sexual encounters "don't count" is somewhat of a running joke among comedians etc, but it's also somewhat of a real thing. I have girlfriends who very literally *don't* count certain kinds of sexual encounters as "partners", for various reasons that I find perfectly understandable.
If you were talking to one of those women, then, YOU would actually think you were "detecting deception" exactly when she WASN'T trying to deceive you.

My point is that "interviewing" someone about sexual history is fucking stupid, and cannot possibly have ANY positive consequences -- and is liable to plant a bunch of suspicions in yr head even if the woman is being totally truthful

[redeyemindtricks]

with you. (What's she supposed to do if you THINK that you "detect deception"? What then, dude? ... considering there's literally NO WAY to fix that?)

My point is that you should stick to obvious indications of character, which are omnipresent in EVERYONE's behavior, all fucking day long.

If you actually HAVE to explicitly ASK someone about her sexual history -- i. e., if you don't know *everything you have to know* about her, simply by observing her character in the real world -- then you seriously fail at reading people.

In fact, if you think there's ANYTHING that you could possibly gain from this sort of "interview"... then, yeah, you fail at reading people.

Sry.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks Well you can agree with me but what you are saying is in conjunction but it is contradicting at the same time. That's why I brought it up again. I mainly brought it up again to make it clear that I don't accept that as reality. I think I'm pretty perceptive and capable of noticing things. If I knew my partner in and out then I'd be able to tell if she was lying or trying to deceive my fairly quickly. That's not delusion. That's not even the argument though. It's not even about numbers it's about her sexual history as a whole. Her being promiscuous for years is definitely a part of her sexual history as a whole.

There is no interview going on in a relationship. That's dumb. If I was settling down with a partner I'd disclose everything with no ulterior motives in regards to my best interest. I'd expect her to do the same. I would rebuttal back and say that being deceptive about anything in a relationship will carry with it consequences.

[pnl86]

@redeyemindtricks LOL, wow guys, I take a step back for a few hours because of work, and I have fifty (50) back and forths related to this one (1) post. Redeye, thanks for holding down the fort ; )

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks The truth would yield nothing positive? It would allow me to get to know her better for who she really is. That would be insecurity on my part if I let that truth plant suspicions in my head. But even forgetting my insecurity.. if it came to that then.. I guess we aren't compatible. Simple as that.

[RJGraveyTrain]

www.reactiongifs.com/.../scarjo_popcorn.gif

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana ">It's not in a woman's best interest to fuck a bunch of different guys from a sociological perspective and for how men and women are biologically wired."

Ah, the "biological" theory. "It's not in her best interest." Okay, since that's your reasoning and the basis for your reason, let's consider it. I'm assuming if there were any other material or important reasons, you would have stated them. So, this being the only one, let's consider it.

Let's start with the contrapositive, is it in the best interest of men to be hypergamous in 2016? All that fucking with a rubber in the middle. Spreading them genes? And assume they did "spread them genes," what kind of chance do those children have for survival? See, downtrend.com/.../black-man-fathers-34-children-with-17-different-women (is that the goal of men in 2016)?

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana Ok you're an engineer, so, mb a stupid math analogy will work better.

If f is quadratic, and you have the values of f and f' and f" RIGHT NOW, then that's all you need to determine absolutely everything about f, forever and ever.
If you don't have all of those, then you might need to know the past behavior of f.

Same thing with the girl. Being able to read her well is like having f and f' and f" -- the past is irrelevant **because it's superfluous**. It's not so much "the past is the past", as much as "you know everything you need to know already".

If there's a REASON to bring it up, then... ok, bring it up. Otherwise who the fuck cares.

I mean, I have girlfriends who shoplifted a bunch as teenagers, but now they've grown into the kind of people who are not only honest, but who'll actually go back into a store to rectify a transaction.
Their teenage shoplifting is now totally irrelevant -- and, if they meet someone who'd judge it, they're better off just

[Fearless_banana]

I'll refer back to you. I'm not going to derail by attempting to have two conversations.

[Fearless_banana]

@pnl86

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana Now, considering the realities of 2016, contraception, child support, and the fact that people largely have sex for pleasure... maybe let's re-examine female sexual behavior... in 2016.

In young adulthood, "sexual acceptance" builds sexual self-esteem. Women desire this just as much as men do. For all the boys who wanted to feel like they could have sex (i. e., "be sexually desirable/wanted") by any girl in the school "he wanted," and "chase that emotional desire into adulthood," girls simply "get that emotional desire fulfilled in high school."

Then what? What happens when you already know that you can "be desired/wanted" by almost any guy you sexually desire/want?

Well, that's when you start exploring sex, for sexual pleasure (not just for comforting some childhood developmental emotional insecurity). That's when girls want to see the difference between one guy in bed versus another guy in bed.

[redeyemindtricks]

not talking about it.
Obviously, they've picked husbands who are fine hearing about these things... but, you get the point.

The real question is, what's an acceptable level of PRIVACY to you, when it comes to someone's history?

I mean... I assume you wouldn't be ok with giving her all yr e-mail passwords, and all yr lock codes, and all of everything... right? You'd want at least SOME things to remain private, for various reasons.

I think you're just not thinking this through all the way. "100.000000% full disclosure" is VERY rarely a good idea, for normal couples made of normal human beings... because normal human beings will latch onto random fucking pieces of each other's "disclosures", and they'll fester in their heads -- often in ways that are TOTALLY unanticipated -- in the worst possible ways.

Here I'm not talking about actual lying -- I'm just talking about having some sphere of privacy. In the same way you wouldn't give away all yr passwords and shit.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana because it's not "just a dick." And if they're looking for a "happy" and "satisfying" long-term relationship, "sex" is going to be a big part of that relationship. And "sex" does not mean spreading her legs and just "servicing" the guy in the relationship. Sex means her being sexually satisfied as well.

So, part of women having sex and exploring themselves sexually means that (a) they are more sexually confident with themselves (emotionally), and (b) they are more in-tune with what they want and like from sex with a man (physically and in terms of sexual role-playing).

What part of that is "bad" for women? By all means, it's not a challenge. I'm not saying it like a Willy Wonka meme, "Go on (rolls eyes) and tell us." I'm honestly curious to hear the reasoning with all that in mind and taken into consideration. I want to understand the mind of these kinds of guys out there.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks

"If there's a REASON to bring it up, then... ok, bring it up. Otherwise who the fuck cares."

The reason being is I would like to know everything about my partner when settling down. Their family history.. their values.. their friends.. how their past relationships failed.. everything. It's a huge investment on my part just as I am a huge investment on her part.

You are regarding sex and just sex alone when you've already admitted that most men are not put off by the mere fact of getting a lot of dicks inside her and thinking it's gross. It's the reasoning behind it. For the 3rd time it's the reasoning behind it and if she was sleeping around for 4-5 years and was insecure so much to the extent of lying about it me then that was obviously a pivotal moment in her life. It seems like you are just using this notion of "Sex is just sex plain in simple" only when it fits your narrative.

[Fearless_banana]

"IF* a man who's actually sexually successful looks down on a woman who's been promiscuous, it has NOTHING to do with "other dicks inside her", and EVERYTHING to do with the aforementioned character traits (willingness to sell herself and/or being too easily influenced)."

Your words.. It would be in my best interest to observe her character traits.

[Fearless_banana]

@pnl86 I'm not going to respond to you right now I'll get back to you.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana
"The reason being is I would like to know everything about my partner"

^^ "Everything" is a dangerous idea. Again, consider whether you would give away all yr internet passwords and so forth.

"How someone's past relationships failed" should be superfluous information, because **you should already understand her character completely enough** to intuit why any of her previous relationships might have failed anyway. Again... knowing all the derivatives now, vs. needing earlier values.

Have you ever had a serious girlfriend? If so, have you ever ACTUALLY let her regale you with tales of her past relationships?
If not, then you're talking in ideals here... which is cute, but it's, well, idealistic.
If so, then, if you're like most people, that's a very uncomfortable kind of talk to have -- and it stirs up all kinds of jealousy and misgivings that you never would have predicted it would stir up.
If you could actually have that kind of talk with NO reservations, then

[redeyemindtricks]

that makes you a very unique -- and, possibly, emotionally uninvested -- person. But most people are simply not built that way.

Most people would be MUCH better off just reading a person's character from visible actions, and being spared the gory details of previous lovers and previous relationships. Because most people just don't handle that shit well, even if they think they do. And I'm not just talking about sex here -- I'm talking about relationships in general.

Spend enough time looking in the rearview mirror, and you'll smash yr car into a tree... proverbially speaking.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks

"I mean... I assume you wouldn't be ok with giving her all yr e-mail passwords, and all yr lock codes, and all of everything... right? "

Passwords don't relate to this at all lol passwords and codes have no impact on one's character. You're acting like I need to every dick she has sucked. You know that's not what I mean at all. I've already stated that I just need to know her sexual history as a whole. I've said that already. There would be no need for me to know about every single sexual experience. Hoping my future spouse would not be like this.

static.fjcdn.com/.../...s+think_ca1aaa_4175658.jpg

You know very well that's not what I'm referring to though.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana "It would be in my best interest to observe her character traits."
^^ Correct.
... And for which it's unnecessary to dig into shitloads of past details. Unless you suck at reading people.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks Nope.. just like I said I don't need to no trivial details. The problem arises when she is using deception and directly lies to me with ulterior motives in regards to only choosing to disclose things that make her look better. That's not reality and that's my argument.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks Yep, but I don't care about the trivial details. I care about the mere fact that she used deception or directly lied to me because there was no incentive on her end. That's not reality.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana Right, yeah, you said that.

Those last 2 questions were important, by the way.
• Have you actually had a serious relationship?
• If so, have you actually gone into her sexual/relationship history? (Not every single detail... Even just in general)

If the answers are not "yes" and "yes", then I'm pretty sure you are HUGELY underestimating the degree to which that kind of conversation would plant poisonous thoughts in yr head, and/or would just... rub you the wrong way, in all kinds of ways you never could have anticipated.
Because human emotions.

But... yeah.. Those questions.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks Her lying about something like that says a lot about her character. It's obviously is an indicator of an insecurity of hers if she feel she has to be deceptive about it. I'd like to know about her insecurities so I can help her get past them as well. There is always that.

[pnl86]

@RJGraveyTrain that's awesome!

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana ^^ those 2 questions dude

[RJGraveyTrain]

Ssshhh, don't pay any mind to me, I'm watching the show.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks I was in a relationship for 3 years and yeah we disclosed everything pretty casually at first. Nope, she wasn't lying to me at all. I wasn't lying either. It was genuine. She had a high slay count so there would be no reason for her to lie about that since it wasn't in her best interest. She finally admitted to me why she slept around and was in tears because she was so ashamed of it at one point. That allowed me to get to know her better and bring her back up. Was a pivotal part of her life. You say it yields nothing positive? I beg to differ.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana Ok, but, what about yr view of her as a potential long-term partner? What happened to *that*, at that point?

See, this is where it gets interesting, because, no matter what yr answer is, EITHER (1) you'll have to admit that you "disqualified" her after that point -- which pretty much makes all my points earlier -- OR (2) you didn't disqualify her, which means all yr bluster about not wanting to settle down with a "high slay count" girl is... well, bluster.

So, which is it? (:

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks We didn't work out. I never disqualified her for those reasons. I never said I personally wouldn't settle down with a girl that has a high slay count. I was making a point in general that most men wouldn't prefer it for logical reasons. I never have said I wouldn't settle for a girl that had a promiscuous past. All I care about are the reasons behind why she did it and to make sure those reasons won't interfere with our relationship.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks "Will I marry a virgin? No I'm almost certain I wouldn't.. I don't think a virgin would want to marry me. It would be a major double standard for me to expect that.. I accept my actions for what they are and don't try to reverse the cards on others."

Is exactly what I said on my take.

[Fearless_banana]

All I did was state logical reasons as to why a lot of men don't approve of that behavior and don't favor it.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana... so you're saying that this whole take was full of stuff that **you** don't actually feel or agree with, yourself?
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a29147-slut-shaming-we-need-to-stop-abusing-that-term

"What happens if we have a hiccup in a relationship... She will more then likely resort back to old ways"
... you're saying you wrote that *purely* from some detached third-party perspective, as "logical reasons" why OTHER men shouldn't get with promiscuous women -- but that none of that reasoning is actually yours?

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks Yep. "All I care about are the reasons behind why she did it and to make sure those reasons won't interfere with our relationship."

She opened up to me and that was a pivotal moment in her life. I assessed the situation for what it was and I brought her up and made her feel good about herself. I helped her through those insecurities so I no longer saw it as an issue at the time.

Now if she kept it to herself that would of put our communication at a disadvantage. That was her her go to coping mechanism when she felt lonely or depressed. If we can't work on each others issues together then that is a deal breaker.

It's logical for a man to think that way I was describing in the take though. It is a large investment to settle down for someone.

That's why I stand by what I say about being deceptive when it comes to topics like these. That should never be deemed as reality.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana ehhhh ok... I mean, that's a good save, but it's still weird as fuck that you would write an entire take **that clashes with yr own personal beliefs/values** and yet weirdly fail to mention that.

I mean, I'm sure you're going to tell me that that other paragraph ("If you cannot sympathize with your partner's reasons as to why...") has something to do with this -- and that this is a case where you DID "sympathize with yr partner's reasons" -- but, WHY DIDN'T YOU ACTUALLY WRITE THAT?

I mean... now that I'm looking at that take again, it's weirdly beat-around-the-bush and elusive -- even disingenuous -- which are not qualities that I would expect from *you* at all.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks I didn't see that take as writing a personal story. I just laid down the facts as to why men in general don't typically approve of this behavior and favor it. It's politically incorrect. The only personal insight that I really added was the fact that I take responsibility for my actions and accept the fact that people will disapprove with me sleeping around. It seems like a lot of women never want to take responsibilities and accept the repercussions that come a long with it.

[Fearless_banana]

I mean here they are imposing bullshit laws like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_deception

So now if a dude makes up a white lie about how he owns some fancy real estate to get in a girls pants at a bar that is rape? Just lmfao.

Then you have women like Amber Rose promoting her fucking slut walks saying "women can do whatever the fuck they want with their bodies and you're a virgin insecure asshole if you say otherwise"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GsrqLt48og

[Fearless_banana]

I hate that lmao. It's like the government is supporting all of this sexual female empowerment over sex. When you have social institutions backing this sort of thing is when problems arise. It’s like women rub it in your fucking face and men are shamed for acting on it. If they act on it.. they are assholes and objectify women. If they don’t approve of it then they are shamed for that as well. That middle ground is damn near impossible to find and guys just submit to all this shit too afraid to voice their opinions.

But that is different discussion entirely lol.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana lol, obviously the rape-by-deception law would never be *enforced* in a situation like "pretending to have real estate".

You should look up the history behind the law. Here in California, that law is on the books because some dude's twin brother (iirc) snuck in through the dude's window and took advantage of his sleeping/drowsy girlfriend... who thought it was her boyfriend (when it was actually her boyfriend's brother)... AND UNDER THE THEN-CURRENT LAWS HE COULDN'T BE PROSECUTED, because she thought it was actually her boyfriend!

*That* is the kind of thing that would ACTUALLY GET PROSECUTED under that kind of law.

Jury trials are still a thing. Juries are dipshits about a lot of stuff, but no jury in this country would send a guy away for rape because he lied about some investments.

... And that "female control over sex" is exactly what lets YOU fuck around without strings attached. Think you could have done that 100 years ago? Think again.

[Fearless_banana]

@redeyemindtricks Oh I haven't done too much research on it tbh. I saw it a couple times mentioned here recently and just started cracking up lol. Meh. I mean sure guys can take advantage of it but I feel like it's guys just passively saying fuck it I get pussy anyways right? Nah man lol they are acting like little peasants for the most part. Guys are sooo fucking pussy when it comes to topics like these. There literally seems to be no middle ground in which guys can neutrally stay on without getting attacked. I rather get laid by initiating and doing my thing rather than just having some sloot come on to me so she can tell herself that she is in charge of her own body and people better accept that on some false notion that hooking up with me alone actually equates to her being confident. Then have her listen to her fucking amber rose song in her mercedes benz that some white knight bought her. FUCK.. THAT. See it all too often. I shut down that princess /feminazi entitlement realquick

[redeyemindtricks]

@Fearless_banana You're missing my point. The point is that 100 years ago, you'd have angry men (relatives and such) hunting you down to beat the shit out of you and mb even challenge you to a duel over this shit.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana m.quickmeme.com/.../...f710abce37eaec02b9feae5.jpg

[Fearless_banana]

My point is it's being taken too far though.

s9.postimg.org/.../...016_08_09_at_10_51_48_AM.png

This is when you know shit is going down. 😂
https://i.imgur.com/stYq2aH.gif

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana I'm honestly just trying to follow the line of thinking. So far, I think it's either coming from a position of behind hurt at some point during early adulthood or high school, or from a combination of anxiety and catastrophic thinking. I don't think it's paranoia. But after spilling your heart (or, more accurately, brain) out on the table for us, I definitely think it's coming from a place of fear.

I don't think red-eye is anyone's therapist, but I think she's brought some things to light (about yourself) for you to consider on this topic.

[Fearless_banana]

Well I followed up when she specifically asked about my personal bias. So I didn't real spill out anything with the intent for her to comfort me. Whether my experience gives me a personal bias or not doesn't deem my opinion on the topic irrelevant. The fact is that most men will agree with me on a surface level. Otherwise there wouldn't even be a debate going on here. This question would of never gotten asked.

I stand by my stance and provide a solid foundational basis of logic and it turned into a personal matter when redeye mind tricks asked me those two personal questions. I answered accordingly and the argument ended right there.

[Fearless_banana]

You have a difference of an opinion and in actuality you are the one with a strong opposing bias given the fact that you married a prostitute. Your default seems to be to attack my personal character when logic fails and I see this all too often when discussing topics and getting into politics. It would be easier to ease the punch and say I think the way I do because I'm some emotionally distraught person who is wounded. It would fit your narrative to say something like that and that is exactly the angle you are trying press right now.

[Fearless_banana]

That's actually a political bullying tactic that you are using right now. Even if it's unintentional.

[Fearless_banana]

This has nothing to do with my personal experience and has everything to do with logic. I laid down some raw logic for you and you can't seem to accept that. I'm sorry but not many men would be interested in marrying a prostitute for the reasons I've laid out whether that offends you or not.

[Fearless_banana]

Your default is to shame people who disagree with you by any means necessary. Your first angle was to sit there and say that men who disagree with you have a small penis and can't sexually satisfy a woman. Now that I laid everything out, you go on to frame me as some emotionally distraught person in attempt to deem my opposition irrelevant.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "Whether my experience gives me a personal bias or not doesn't deem my opinion on the topic irrelevant."

Nobody said your opinion is irrelevant.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "Your default seems to be to attack my personal character when logic fails."

I did no such thing. I'm sorry you feel that way. I mean, that could just be you experiencing "defensiveness." I haven't even gone hard on you on anything. I'm sensitive to the fact that you're coming at it from a place of fear. And as much as my personal circumstances lend themselves to bias (admittedly), I'm not using emotional reasoning, all I'm doing is asking a simple question: "Why is X bad?" When we hear an answer, it's fair game for men and women to question and inquire further into the basis of the "reasoning" supporting why "X" is bad.

So far, it's not entirely clear or consistent with modern-day circumstances (based on what you've said) why "X" is bad. Like I said, the reasoning offered is very similar to the kind of reasoning people with anxiety or catastrophic thinking offer, which is usually just a "coping mechanism" to avoid confronting a fear.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "That's actually a political bullying tactic"

Maybe it is a political bullying tactic. I wouldn't know. I never took a class on political bullying. Nobody from my family is an expert on political bullying. But be that as it may, even if we assume that it is a political bullying tactic... does that mean that it's also not also concurrently a psychological coping mechanism? Does that latter part just magically disappear? Or, would you like it to magically disappear and not deal with it? Would you like to "avoid" it? Would it be much easier to continue to believe in something that's inconsistent with your own reality-based factual basis for believing it? Don't you ever stop and question, "why"? Why would you continue to believe something so strongly as a certainty, when you also know the underlying foundation supporting that belief is inconsistent with reality? You can say what you want to say about me or anyone else, but that won't make the question go away.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "I laid down some raw logic for you and you can't seem to accept that."

Respectfully, not to be a dick or sound sarcastic, but maybe I missed what you're referring to. Where is the raw logic? Can you just cite or recap that raw logic so I can examine it more closely just one more time? I take it your main thesis is that women who have a large number of sexual partners are "bad" (i. e., the number of sexual partners is correlated and connected with the moral quality of a woman's character). If you had some raw logic supporting that thesis statement, please just recap it for me, I must have missed it in the back and forth between you and red-eye (and you know what you're specifically referring to, so I'd appreciate if you can just quickly share that with me so we both know what's being referred to).

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "Your first angle was to sit there and say that men who disagree with you have a small penis and can't sexually satisfy a woman."

Not at all. If you read what I wrote again, you'll notice I didn't go all high school girl on it. It didn't say, "anyone who disagrees just has a small dick, blah blah." Of course, a guilty mind needs no accuser, but that's not what I wrote.

I simply offered a more emotionally sensible and realistic explanation to account for why some guys would likely feel that way (and so strongly and passionately about it). That explanation is consistent with what kind of inner turmoil a person would be feeling, and a natural reaction to an outside stimulus that would trigger uncomfortable/negative feelings about the self, and a gravitation towards another kind of stimulus that would trigger comfort/pleasurable feelings about the self, all based on a certain core set of beliefs.

[Fearless_banana]

You don't have to say those words in a direct manner. Everything else you said suggest that. I don't know why my personal experience was brought into the discussion at all. The reason behind why I said that sentence you just quoted is because your concluding statement didn't respond to the logic of the argument. All you did was take everything from an emotional perspective and attempted to dismiss my credibility by saying I think the way I do because "I've been so hurt". You initially said people who won't agree with you have small cocks and can't satisfy a woman sexually. Then you attempt to render my opposition null with derailing it into a personal issue. Don’t even try to say I’m getting defensive. That would work in your favor as well. You are the one that derailed the argument into something that is not even relevant. You’re pushing these angles for a reason.

[Fearless_banana]

Hypergamous.. yeah 34 children with 16 different women isn’t that goal. That’s an extreme comparison. You can’t claim I’m not consistent with my theory when sociological perspective and biological go hand in hand. You’re dissecting it an acting is if my theory stems solely from a surface level. It’s not black and white by any means.

[Fearless_banana]

Let’s think this through for a second. If there were no men disapproving of this kind of behavior then why are women across the U. S. promoting slut acceptance and starting all these trends geared towards that movement? It’s an issue and it’s prevalent for a reason. If it wasn’t then there wouldn’t be questions on here like this asking for approval. There would be no insecurity channeled through questionable validation.

[Fearless_banana]

You can’t just take and extreme stance in life and expect everyone to just approve of that. People need to take responsibilities for their actions and shouldn’t be shoving their lifestyle in everyones faces if others disapprove. Shaming them saying they are insecure virgins with small penises like you just did is literally the epitome of what I’m referring to when I say this. Men and women are entitled to their preferences and shouldn’t be shamed for that.

[Fearless_banana]

All I did was lay out the reasons why a lot of men would not approve and favor this. They have to right to do that just as a woman would have the right to think that about me. You and I know it’s a safe assumption to say the general population of working professional men in the US would favor a woman with 10-40 partners versus 100 partners when considering them for a monogamous relationship. I will offer to make a poll here with no descriptive bias pushing my side. I know you will say it’s invalid. We both know that is the case though.

[Fearless_banana]

You can argue semantics about sociological theories and fight me all the way about their consistency in application but that just turns into philosophical discussion. If you want to go that route then sure. Reality.. Walk outside.. literally all you need to do. It’s that simple.

My argument isn’t about shaming. It’s about people accepting responsibility for their actions and knowing that it could very well lower your value in the dating world.

Human brains are wired for pattern recognition and like it or not there is some truth to almost all stereotypes. They exist because people have noticed the patterns. We all do it, and it's important for survival. Men and women have the right to judge a partner when choosing a suitable mate.

[Fearless_banana]

You make that decision then stick with it. Don’t try shame everyone that doesn’t agree with you by saying they have a small cock and can’t get laid. That is nonsensical in every sense of the word.

[pnl86]

@redeyemindtricks "SHE GAINS NOTHING AT ALL from telling the truth"

That's note entirely true. As a guy, I appreciated and respected how difficult and risky it must have been for any girl to open up about her sexual past, and recognized that she could have just lied about it. So, when my then girlfriend shared that with me, I didn't really care about her history first of all, but second of all, I felt like the act of sharing that information was something that brought us closer. It showed me she trusted me, and understood me enough to know that she could share something like that with me. It was definitely something that made us feel closer in terms of the trust and communication in our relationship. So, there's that aspect in terms of potential "gain" from disclosure.

[RJGraveyTrain]

... https://media. riffsy. com/images/0243ae470d6447909876993fadcf8841/raw

[RJGraveyTrain]

Fail

media.riffsy.com/.../raw

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "You initially said people who won't agree with you have small cocks and can't satisfy a woman sexually."

Can you please quote me on where I said that. Go ahead, take your time.

[Fearless_banana]

@RJGraveyTrain Double fail. Cmon you're fucking up today jackie.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "You’re dissecting it an acting is if my theory stems solely from a surface level."

I'm actually just asking to know what your theory is.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "If there were no men disapproving of this kind of behavior then why are women across the U. S. promoting slut acceptance and starting all these trends geared towards that movement? It’s an issue and it’s prevalent for a reason. If it wasn’t then there wouldn’t be questions on here like this asking for approval. There would be no insecurity channeled through questionable validation."

I hope that's not what you're relying on as support for the point you're trying to make.

[Fearless_banana]

Didn't have to take my time.
s10.postimg.org/.../...016_08_09_at_4_40_58_PM.png

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "People need to take responsibilities for their actions and shouldn’t be shoving their lifestyle in everyones faces if others disapprove."

Was the exam for being a moral police officer difficult? First Amendment baby. If you don't like it, stay home. That's life. Next...

"Men and women are entitled to their preferences and shouldn’t be shamed for that."

See, definition of "Irony." Sorry, knee jerk reaction. What do you feel ashamed about? Re-read what I wrote in the OP. Everyone is free to disagree. Whoever disagrees doesn't have a small dick. That's not what the text said. If you take it to mean that, it's like being offended because someone looked at you, "What are you looking at bro? I didn't steal shit!" A guilty mind needs no accuser. In all other cases, feel free to explain some alternative explanation that makes sense. The stage is yours, it's an open discussion.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "You and I know it’s a safe assumption to say the general population of working professional men in the US would favor a woman with 10-40 partners versus 100 partners when considering them for a monogamous relationship. I will offer to make a poll here with no descriptive bias pushing my side. I know you will say it’s invalid. We both know that is the case though."

You and I both know that if we poll for racism or Islamophobia, we're also going to get some statistical result. Are we trying to argue, "Majority, therefore, correct"? Or as Mark Twain said, "When you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to take a step back and reflect." Being on the majority is great, but it says nothing about the "reasoning" behind those beliefs (other than that those beliefs have a lot of company).

[Fearless_banana]

Yeah that's the first amendment. Very open ended answer that has no foundation.

Nope.. sorry you know exactly what you meant when you typed that out. You can misconstrue that in every sense from every possible angle and manipulating every word to fit your narrative. We all know what you meat there lol. You can't back pedal out. That was a very bold statement you made. Not much wiggle room there to back out.

You deemed men who disagree with your stance as men with small penises who can't satisfy women. Your words.

[Fearless_banana]

what you meant*

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "My argument isn’t about shaming. It’s about people accepting responsibility for their actions and knowing that it could very well lower your value in the dating world."

So, it's a "normative" argument. A "should" argument. What moral philosophy would call a "constructivist" argument. Yet, since it's not even really relying on "maximizing utility for society as a whole," it's really just an "expressivist" argument. It's certainly not at all close to "realism." It's clear what your thesis is. 6+ posts later, and I still don't see your citation or quote for the "support" of that thesis, the "raw logic" you were referring to before.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "Didn't have to take my time."

Where does it say, "If you don't agree with me, then you have a small dick?"

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "You deemed men who disagree with your stance as men with small penises who can't satisfy women. Your words."

I didn't say that. If you're reading into what I wrote and injecting your own interpretation, like I said, a guilty mind needs no accuser. Any shame you're feeling isn't coming from me, it's coming from you.

[Fearless_banana]

Really? Saying
"Why can't you just come out and say, "I have a small penis and I don't know how to please a woman, so I'm afraid that if she's been with more men, then she may not be satisfied with me, therefore I have a very good reason to INVENT some kind of BS reason/excuse/justification/rationalization that will vilify a woman who basically aggravates and doesn't pacify my fears and insecurities as a man?""

Is self explanatory. Why would they automatically be deemed to be men with small penises in your opinion. You failed to mention that some people approach sex with a different perspective and treat it with more substance and emotion. You completley disregarded that possibility and described those men in a derogatory manner. You also classified them as men as insecure using reason/excuse/justification/rationalization. You never mentioned any rational thought outside of personal partisanship.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "Why would they automatically be deemed to be men with small penises in your opinion."

They're not automatically deemed anything, in my opinion. It's "an" explanation (non-exclusive) that makes sense. If you have another explanation that makes sense, I'd love for focus more on that and spend less time trying to defend the size of your penis.

[Fearless_banana]

Nope I'm not trying defend the size of my penis. That was a ridiculous off balance thing to say. However what I am discussing is the fact that you have an extreme bias on this topic and failed to recognize that a lot of men approach sex in a much different perspective than yourself. A lot of men treat it with more emotion. Some do it for religious reasons and some do it because they just have different values. They are entitled to that. If you want to keep acting passive aggressive and trying to buy your way out of eating your own words.. riddle me this. I ask.. why did you completley disregard that some men approach sex differently and why did you say those derogatory things?

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana riddle me this... what is the actual supporting reasoning for your thesis that a woman who has a higher than average number of sexual partners is of an inferior character?

Talking about buying time and trying to side-track, let's get back to the action point, and hit me with this long-awaited "raw logic." Waiting to hear it.

[Fearless_banana]

No. Don't attempt to answer my question with another question. Answer and I will proceed and respond with any other faults that you see in my argument. You have taken your introductory statement and attempted to fit it to what I said. You're all over the place.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana you either have some "raw logic" to support your thesis statement, or you don't. It's as simple as that. All this posturing and setting yourself up for an excuse/exit plan is again just you trying to avoid confronting your "raw logic" in support of your system of beliefs regarding this issue.

The stage is yours. You put the thesis of a "woman's character" at issue based on the "number of sexual partners." I'm waiting to hear the "raw logic." Still waiting.

[Fearless_banana]

That's pathetic dude. I would respect you more if you didn't stoop to that level. You just straight up rejected answering a question because you knew you were wrong. I can't debate with someone like that. Good day.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana don't pat yourself on the back buddy. Earning your respect isn't on my to-do list. Like I said, avoidance. Do what ostriches do and shove your head in the sand. Everything is awesome if you never examine the reasoning behind your beliefs and why you feel the way you feel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cQgQIMlwWw

[Fearless_banana]

👍👍

[pnl86]

👍 indeed... I'll take a default judgment 😊

[btbc92]

As long as she isn't doing that now, her past is in the past. So there is a major difference. What matters is that you love her for her and she is willing to not make those mistakes again, and focus on being with you and sharing her life with you. I bet there are times she gets horrible flashbacks and regrets every single one of them, when she truly loves you.

[Red_Arrow]

@TakeMaker - Great comment. 👍😀

[IceCubedude]

fearlessbanana is right, no guy wants to marry slut let alone a prostitue, if you are happy then good luck with your prositute wife, as for the majority of men , they will not choose the slut no matter how hard any girl or guy attempt to argue, i won't marry a girl who had lots of sex, period.

no amount of facts or argumetns will change that, hell iam not even going to explain it , i just feel like this.

deal with it.

[legs_n_sheets]

The number of down-votes are self explanatory. As fearless_banana stated, you have a faulty logic that doesn't coincide with male reasoning.

[Fearless_banana]

@IceCubedude I actually did explain it lol. He will refuse to accept it though. He seems to be the king of using a thesaurus. I've NEVER pinned anyone in a corner during a debate and have had them straight up reject to answer because they knew they were wrong lmao. I've never witnessed that level passive-aggressiveness. This would never happen in real life. I debated at my college for a year and never once have I seen that. I simply can't argue with someone with no sense of reason.

Since he has judged my personal stance when I didn't bring it up I'll make my assumption of his. I personally think the opinion owner holds himself to some sense of entitlement because he married some damsel in distress. The epitome of a white knight. He has mentioned it in a lot of other questions and seem to carry a biased condescending attitudes towards others who disagree that wouldn't marry a prostitute.

[pnl86]

@legs_n_sheets it's the proponent of the argument that bears the burden of proof. The argument is that "X" is "bad." What "logic" and "reasoning" is there from males supporting the proposition that "X" is "bad" other than, essentially, "Well, that's just how I feel"?

Feel free to state it.

[RJGraveyTrain]

...

https://i.imgur.com/Famc5JB.gif

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "I actually did explain it" ... really? Because I could swear I remember reading, "Don't attempt to answer my question with another question. Answer and I will proceed and respond with any other faults that you see in my argument."

Glass is a liquid, but don't ask me to prove it. In fact, "you" prove that it's "not a liquid," and until you do, it's a liquid. Also, until you answer a bunch of questions unrelated to what state glass is, I'm going to continue deferring actually supporting "my proposition" that "glass is a liquid."

You're saying that "promiscuity" makes "women's character bad," okay. What's the underlying reasoning? How many sentences do you need to explain the underlying reasoning? Is it rocket science? Is it that complicated?

Or, do you just not want to face the uncomfortable reality that what "you believe in" (rather strongly), actually lacks any solid underlying reasoning?

[Fearless_banana]

The opinion owner passive aggressively attempted to fit his original opinion to what I said in order for it to just slide by. He obviously didn't mention the opposing side and the possibility that some men treat sex differently. He never mentioned that one time. I called him out on him being biased for that reason and he refused to answer my follow up questions. Instead what the opinion owner did was attempt to wiggle out of it. He then answered my question with another question. He was trying to gear the argument in another direction because he knew he was wrong. He did that by directing it into something very broad such as attacking my 'raw logic' That enables him to monkey branch into a multitude of different directions in attempt to evade the defeat.

[legs_n_sheets]

If you like/chose to marry women who have long mileage that's you. Good luck to your marriage. But there are plenty of reasons (I listed just a few in my own reply) that guys have. If you don't agree with them, fine, but you question men in your own reply and tell them there is no link between go around having sex and then settling down to their morals and personality traits. When many of the responses here re telling you there is quite a link to that. You can't expect for people not to tell you are wrong if that's the very thing you did in your reply.

[Fearless_banana]

My question remains. Why is it that you didn't include the possibility that other men approach sex with a different mentality. You discluding that obviously shows your personal bias. You excluding that shows that you are stereotyping all other men who don't agree with you to have a small penis and can't satisfy a woman. That is derogetory.

__

So I ask again. It's a very simple question. Why is it that you did not include the other side and possibility of men approaching sex with a different mentality?

[legs_n_sheets]

@Fearless_banana I agree. Talk about a straw man fallacy...

[IceCubedude]

Bro, stop being little bitch, i dont give a single fk even if i had a bucket full of fks that ima throwing away, how good a womans personality is, if she has had lots of sex she can be the nicest and most caring in the world, i am just not going to commit to her that will not change for any guy.

wanna play white knight? please do it if it makes you happy, zero fks given on my side.

[pnl86]

@legs_n_sheets "Women are very aware they lose their value by having a long history of sexual partners. And that isn't slut shaming. Women that ride the carousel carelessly and then suddenly decide to settle down and tie down some guy is a big deal. As a guy, you don't want to commit to a woman that has long mileage, and potentially a heavy baggage to deal with"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circular_reasoning

[RJGraveyTrain]

@mostwomenshouldstfu he's can sell a strong argument, that's for sure.

[Fearless_banana]

Can you respond to me?

My question remains. Why is it that you didn't include the possibility that other men approach sex with a different mentality. You discluding that obviously shows your personal bias. You excluding that shows that you are stereotyping all other men who don't agree with you to have a small penis and can't satisfy a woman. That is derogetory.

__

So I ask again. It's a very simple question. Why is it that you did not include the other side and possibility of men approaching sex with a different mentality?

[legs_n_sheets]

Drop the thesaurus for a moment there. What I talk about is called precaution, and all men should have that. Not all men want to settle with whores, deal with that.

[pnl86]

@legs_n_sheets "Worse is when they feel the need to lie about it. So far more than not wanting to be with a woman that has been with so many guys, you are risking to be with a liar?"

The object you're talking about there is "lying," not "promiscuity." So, you don't like "lying," and attribute "lying" with dishonesty. Fine. But that doesn't speak at all towards the object of "promiscuity." That only speaks to "lying" about promiscuity, or lying in general, because the object of that comment is "lying" (not promiscuity).

[blustar]

You married a prostitute? Hold this L

66.media.tumblr.com/.../...o8GYUh1rokoveo1_400.png

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

Nope, fail buddy. You need to be more evolved than that. Your wife made you her b****, didn't she.

[Fearless_banana]

Literally all you are doing is spewing out random open ended responses that mean absolutely nothing. You are just responding to respond. Nothing you are saying makes or has any fundamental meaning. There is literally no intent behind what you are saying. What you are saying means absolutely nothing lol. You are just spewing random words in a philosophical context.. there is no punchline. Where is the rebuttal?

[legs_n_sheets]

I have nothing against a high number of sex partners, did I ever said the opposite in my reply? Is all the things (LINKS) associated with it that makes it a problem in my opinion. And most guys would agree. Then again if you have zero consideration in female behaviour, and marry women who act like whores it's your call. But you can't go aroung with a thesaurus telling everyone else they are wrong. Men are more cautious when it comes to settle down. Leave them be and get a fucking grip, dude.

[pnl86]

@legs_n_sheets "I can't tell you how many times have I seen dudes disappointed because they found their girlfriends had a very "happy" past, yet she makes sex hard to get/and very seldom for them."

The premise here is, respectfully, basically at its core: "envy" (of the ease in which women have access to enjoyable sex, relative to you) and "jealousy" (towards the other men that enjoyed sex with her during her youth, while she excluded you from such participation), and "anger" (for you now currently not having the same kind of enjoyment from sexual participation as other men did).

Umm... pausing for a moment... is that something that reflects badly on a "woman's character"?

What's that old quote?

beautifullyzen.files.wordpress.com/.../...uote.jpg

Sounds like "rationalization/justification" is the "excuse" being used to cope with feelings of jealousy, envy and anger.

[Fearless_banana]

Did you actually include a cheesey meme quote you found off the internet? You're all over the place dude. Why are you ignoring me.. my question still remains? Why is it that you can't answer a very simple question? I'm still here. I didn't block you.

[legs_n_sheets]

It is, because it has nothing to do with the things you mentioned. It's actually directly a personality, character trait. Women have sex, they fuck around and then suddenly decide to change their game because they realize they wasted their time, and they gained nothing out of it. Nothing that a committed relationship could help them gain, with a malleable guy. You have just put the dagger your way. And then again, you keep bouncing everyone's rebuttal with questions, quotes and a big thesaurus there.

[pnl86]

@legs_n_sheets "Not all men want to settle with whores, deal with that."

Everyone is entitled to their "opinion." That's why it's called an "opinion," and not a "fact." And like we see, "opinions" don't actually require solid reasoning in order to be believed, maintained, and felt very passionately and strongly.

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

Don't f*** with this banana, bro. He's hijacked your thread and you're out of your league. Shut your mouth and listen.

[IceCubedude]

iam sorry are you implying that you're happy with a prositute becasue she offers you sex easily, but a virgin or girl with low count will give her man a harder time when it comes to sex?

ohhh man... it would be a bit hard explaining to your kids what their mama does, i usually dont try shame someone like that but honestly you asked for it, you married a prostitute ( whore/hooker) and you are saying we're wrong because we care about a womans sexual past, while in fact most guys who commented on here will probably at some point get gfs they're proud to walk by and introduce to their parents and later on start families with, no one is pefect so working a little harder for sex in exchange for a beutiful virgin who chose you out of many and stays loyal to you sounds fair game to me.

as i said good luck if you're happy but for the most part dont try to convince us to marry whores.

[legs_n_sheets]

@Fearless_banana Exactly. He is making his very faulty and simple argument more and more complex to look intellectually superior.

[Fearless_banana]

@legs_n_sheets This is @pnl86 right now.

"To be.. or not to be.. what is be? The definition of be.. fraud.. or truth? Deception or interception? What is logic.. define 'raw' logic. "Raw" strong and undisguised.. or is it? "
25.media.tumblr.com/...m2jlpqSbgT1r4g9doo1_400.png

[pnl86]

@legs_n_sheets "Leave them be"

Hey, I'm not here advocating who people should and should marry. People are free to marry whoever they want. But if they're going to say that they is a solid "raw logic" foundation for their beliefs, then they should have no problem laying that "raw logic" out on the table, and being able to support and defend it.

Absent doing so, they're still entitled to go ahead and have the opinions and beliefs that they do, and marry who they want to marry, but they can't really say that they have a solid foundation for their beliefs based on "raw logic" and reasoning that does justice to looking at the world through an "objective" and "disinterested" lens (i. e., not from the point of view of a man, or male interest; or female interest for that matter, but as a person).

[Fearless_banana]

Opinion Owner. My logic is in my take that I've linked you. I've laid out logic on this conversation for you but you refuse to accept that. You won't answer my very simple question and I want to know why.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "I'm still here. I didn't block you"

I didn't block you either. Still waiting for you to stop evading the fact that you have no actual reasons supporting the proposition you put forth.

[Fearless_banana]

I'm not evading anything. This is extremely ironic. Why is it that you can't answer a very simple question?

[dudeman]

@TakeMaker yes the number does affect how i feel about women. I've left women I've been with for almost a year over their number. not right away but i pull away emotionally. now i just have a rule that i won't ever take a women serious once she over the age of 23.

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "it would be a bit hard explaining to your kids what their mama does"

It wouldn't. Dad is a lawyer, and mom is a CPA.

[legs_n_sheets]

You can't analyze relationships without taking in account female and male behavior. I will surely write a mytake about this. And next time try to answer this way you just did, because you sounded completely off and pretentious the way you were answering before.

[pnl86]

@legs_n_sheets "to look intellectually superior"

I'm not the one who complained about things like a thesaurus.

[IceCubedude]

CPA Aka around the block as the prostitute

[dudeman]

@Fearless_banana right dudes got mental gymnastics for days.

[legs_n_sheets]

"I'm not the one who complained about things like a thesaurus."

huh? what does that have to do with anything? lol
I said that because you sound as a pretentious ass, and even more so, a libtard and a white knight. I'll write something very soon, using simple and direct terms (unlike you), and I'm signing off. Keep on with your delusions, dude.

[dudeman]

@redeyemindtricks women have to trick a man for it to be beneficial for her. thanks for warning men everywhere to stay away from sluts.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I have no horse in this race, and I'm not taking sides, but just from reading, @pnl86, I think the issue your little "competitors" are having here is that you're eluding logic and questioning and are coming across like you have only personal biased to fuel you argument instead of logical reasoning. Emotion fuels passion but it doesn't fuel fact. You can't take your emotional biased and claim it as a fact as harshly as you did without there being holes in it, such as the small penis comment, for example. It makes your argument effortless to break down without some kind of pillar of logic to support it, and logic is cut-dry and sometimes cold in nature. Take your wife being a former prostitute out of your argument for a minute and try to break down your point and you might have more of a leg up.

Just my opinion, take it as you will, but I do think @fearless_banana did ask a REASONABLE question, if I may, sir.

[pnl86]

@mostwomenshouldstfu "He's hijacked your thread"

The great thing about a public forum is that people can look back and actually see the fact that given the opportunity to do so, multiple men couldn't actually support or defend their passionate system of beliefs. They would rather take the time attacking the person calling that uncomfortable reality to light, rather than present their solid and defensible support and reasoning. 100+ posts later.

You can label it whatever you want, but at the end of the day, you were each handed a shovel, and I definitely don't mind if you continue to use your time and space on this thread to keep digging.

That's the beautiful thing about an open forum. You have the freedom to keep talking, and no matter what you say, I'm not going to take that away from anyone.

[pnl86]

@RJGraveyTrain "Take your wife being a former prostitute out of your argument for a minute"

I didn't realize that was in any way part of any "argument." I'm just saying, that's my personal circumstance. I openly admit that I'm biased. But what effect does that have on a an inquiry? I'm not making a proposition. I'm not stating a premise. I'm asking questions. Questions to those who claim their belief in the fact that "promiscuity in women" is connected to a "bad character in a woman." Okay, where is the support for that? I can ask that. The existence or non-existence of answers to those questions has absolutely nothing to do with any admitted "bias" I may have.

[IceCubedude]

so you're saying resorting to sex to fix problems, and to not feel lonely when issues arise in a relationship is not a bad character? dude very few men are into cuckload if you like it good for you most dont.

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "so you're saying resorting to sex to fix problems, and to not feel lonely when issues arise in a relationship is not a bad character?"

That's not what I'm saying.

[Fearless_banana]

Well elaborate. You saying "that's not what I'm saying" really holds no value in the conversation.

[IceCubedude]

as fearless banana stated lots of women have sex and cheat when they feel insecure or drift away from their bfs, even if she cheated for genuinly loving sex, thats shitty too, no mater how you look at it will never be good, its as bad as it gets.

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "so you're saying..."

That was the question. The question was if that's what I'm saying. The answer was, no, that's not what I'm saying; those were not my words or thoughts.

[Fearless_banana]

You still need to elaborate your reasoning otherwise it doesn't hold much value in the argument.

[IceCubedude]

so what are you saying exactly? i presented before you a logical explination, unbiased and quite reasoable if i may add but you are not saying that, and your not saying the opposite, i dont think you know what you're saying...

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "You still need to elaborate your reasoning otherwise it doesn't hold much value in the argument."

My reasoning is that I never said that. What argument is there? Nobody made any kind of proposition. He just asked a question, and the answer was that no, I never stated that.

[IceCubedude]

let me ask you a question and answer me please :

A woman who has had lots of sex in the past did it for few reasons, fun, addiction, a way to fix/run away from problems (such as loneliness or stress ) or for money because she needed it.

the last could be excused in very particular situations, however and i want you to answer this.

if a woman had sex for fun, because she was addicted to sex, or as a way to deal with a problem is that a bad trait? what would happen if the same problem arises, if you're not "fun" enough for her or he addiction kicks in once agian?

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "i presented before you a logical explanation"

Well, let's start with the logical explanation. Just copy and paste it, and let's start from there.

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "A woman who has had lots of sex in the past did it for few reasons, fun, addiction, a way to fix/run away from problems (such as loneliness or stress ) or for money because she needed it."

So, that's a premise. For the sake of argument, we'll accept that as true, as to a non-exclusive list of reasons as to why a woman has had a lot of sex in the past. This doesn't purport to capture the entire universe of reasons a woman would have had a lot of sex in her past; it only states "some" possible reasons, which for the sake of argument, we'll go ahead and accept as true possible explanations.

Admittedly, it is perfectly conceivable that addiction and avoidance are motivators for promiscuous behavior in women.

[Fearless_banana]

What is the reasoning behind your answer of no? You never followed up.

[IceCubedude]

plenty of reasons exist indeed but the ones i listed make up the majority of the cases , but you still haven't answered my question, are they bad character traits or not? you asked for bad ones and i provided.

what happens when a guy offers to buy an expensive dress for your wife in exchange for some sex, she did it for liqour and will probably do it for a dress.

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "if a woman had sex for fun, because she was addicted to sex, or as a way to deal with a problem is that a bad trait? what would happen if the same problem arises, if you're not "fun" enough for her or he addiction kicks in once again?"

That's two questions. The second question isn't really concerned with her character, as much as emotional self-preservation. So, we'll cover both questions one-by-one.

So, she didn't really have sex "for fun" if what motivated her to have sex was "addiction" or "avoidance." So, we're looking at a case where a woman had sex motivated by "addiction" or "avoidance." The question then is, "is that a bad trait?" Well, let's start off by saying that it's definitely not "ideal" (right? as a minimum threshold).

[IceCubedude]

i dont have time for playing games, yes or not, and dont mix them its one at a time i doubt a woman can be all that at one unless she's seriously broken and in that case its fked up to begin with.

answer the second question however you want, but my one demands a no or yes are those bad traits that such women posses and will damage a long term relationships? yes or no

[Fearless_banana]

@IceCubedude That is his strategy he dances around everything and is extremely evasive. If you pin him on something he will reflect everything back you and reverse the cards saying you are being evasive. He will actually straight up reject answering a question if he knows he is wrong.

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "is that a bad trait?" (Continued).

Next, what kind of trait are we talking about? A personality "disorder" (not treatable, but manageable), a personality "trait" (treatable and manageable), a "character" trait (i. e., conscious decision-making, a person's "moral compass").

It's definitely not "ideal." That's our starting point. From there on, we have to not rush to judgment. Just because someone is temporarily afflicted with "addictive behavior" or suffering from "addiction" doesn't necessarily make them a "bad person" or someone who has a "bad character." Similarly, someone who is temporarily afflicted with "avoidant behavior" isn't necessarily a "bad person" or someone who has a "bad character." A mental illness, or a more temporary emotional disturbance, does not make someone "bad" or mean that person has a "bad character" any more than someone with cancer is a bad person. We need to understand the "why" behind the past behavior.

[IceCubedude]

@Fearless_banana

[IceCubedude]

@Fearless_banana its quite obvious he's wrong but he won't admit it, the moment he said i married a prostitute and guys who dont have small dicks was everything i need to know, he will probably not answer , because if he did then it'd be quite clear that he's wrong.

[Fearless_banana]

Okay all of that you just said. Would a man be in the wrong to consider those addictions to be a deal-breaker? Is he entitled to his preferences?

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "i dont have time for playing games, yes or not"

Respectfully, you're 21. So, unless you're giving up billing at $350/hr. to be answering questions on here, you have nothing but time. It's not a race. It's a discussion. Also, if you asked a question, and someone is taking the time to answer you, the least you can do is let them finish answering you.

[IceCubedude]

honestly i want a yes or not iam not reading all that, simply dont care enough to

[IceCubedude]

no*

i have other things to do

[Fearless_banana]

Okay all of that you just said. Would a man be in the wrong to consider those addictions to be a deal-breaker? Is he entitled to his preferences?

Can you answer this?

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude ""is that a bad trait?" (Continued).

If a woman "viewed men as ATM machines," and "didn't enjoy sex," and "sex was just something she did, and men were just people she used, as a means to an end," and this has absolutely nothing to do with any kind of "compulsion" or "irresistible urge" attributable to her "addictive" or "avoidant" tendencies, then even I would say that a woman like that (and that's just one example, that's not an "exclusive" list by any means) a case where that woman's actions (and her motives enabled by her system of beliefs) are what would make her a dangerous and "bad" character.

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "i have other things to do"

We all do. Excellent, that's a great reason to take a break and come back later when you do have time. There's no ticking clock.

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "what would happen if the same problem arises, if you're not "fun" enough for her or he addiction kicks in once again?"

Well, first you have to identify "why" that is. Second, you have to see if it's something you can work around and fix in the relationship. "People change, paper doesn't." (mantra of divorce lawyers everywhere). That's something that can happen in any relationship, whether the girl is a virgin, or if it's not her "addiction kicking in again," it can be her "addiction developing for the first time in her life" (just so happens that it's during your marriage). If communication doesn't help, then I would honestly try going to therapy for 6-12 months (depending on the length and seriousness of the relationship). If we end up discovering that it's because "I'm" just "not fun," I think that's something that's within a guy's control and power to change. If it's outside of your control to change, then the reasonable thing to do is to separate and end things.

[IceCubedude]

you do realize that nothing you say will make me change my mind righ? and you're the one who married a prostitute and you can't even own it you can't openly admit that marrying a hooker has lots of risks, no you're just jumping from topic to tupic, making no sense, and insulting those who acually argue with logic.

to you i say, give your wife few cents, who knows you get a Bj tonight.

[Fearless_banana]

Okay opinion owner everything that you just stated. Would it be wrong for a man to reject a woman if that was a deal breaker? Is it wrong for men to have preferences when investing themselves in a monogamous relationship?

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "you do realize that nothing you say will make me change my mind right?"

I was just answering your question, not trying to "change your mind" or "force you to accept" anything. You asked, I answered.

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "and you're the one who married a prostitute and you can't even own it"

Umm, actually, I do own it. I've openly owned it on this thread and other threads.

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "you can't openly admit that marrying a hooker has lots of risks"

Sometimes, it does. Investing in a diversified fund or individual stock has a lot of risks. That's why you take some time to understand the company you're investing in before you just go ahead and jump right in.

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "no you're just jumping from topic to tupic, making no sense"

That's your characterization. You asked a pointed question, and I gave you a detailed and precise answer. There was no bouncing around topic-to-topic. The response was focused on exactly your question.

[Fearless_banana]

@IceCubeDude Can you standby for a minute and let me intervene?

To opinion owner:
Okay opinion owner everything that you just stated. Would it be wrong for a man to reject a woman if that was a deal breaker? Is it wrong for men to have preferences when investing themselves in a monogamous relationship?

[pnl86]

@IceCudedude "and insulting those who acually argue with logic."

The sensitivity of the men on here is something that's beyond my control after a certain point. As far as people who "actually argue with logic," I'm not sure who or what logic you're referring to. Did you see our little Q&A? That's all I was asking for. Haven't seen it. So, I'm not sure what you're referring to, exactly.

[Fearless_banana]

@pnl86 Could you answer my question?

[pnl86]

@IceCubedude "to you i say, give your wife few cents, who knows you get a Bj tonight."

Well, then. Someone opens up to you about something like that, and you make that kind of comment. I'm not offended, because you're 21, so it's forgivable. But I hope it's clear that the opinion of a guy who makes those kinds of comments, regarding the moral character of women, has some kind of questionable weight.

[Fearless_banana]

@icecubedude Just standby. Let me take over for a minute.

@pnl86 Can you please recognize that I am here?

[pnl86]

@Fearless_banana "Could you answer my question?"

I would love to. Let's take a breather for today. We've spend nearly 2+ hours on this back and forth. We can continue this over the weekend. I do have work that needs to get done, and I'm sure you and IronCubedude have things to do too. So, we can pick this back up on the weekend.

[Fearless_banana]

Very well. No one say anything. I guess we will wait for him to respond and recognize that I am here so he can answer a couple questions that I have with his theory. I'll expect that you will followup with a notification when you ready to discuss this again.

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

@RJGraveyTrain Easy to do when you're in the right. F***ing E-Z.

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

@RJGraveyTrain Actually you do have a horse in this race, we all do. That's why s*** like this is allowed to flourish. Quoted "the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing". Or more simply, good people allow other people to make s*** choices that lead to eventual unhappiness. Resumes matter.

[kambo_trick3y]

This may GENUINELY be the longest response thread on GAG, I was seriously flabbergasted from how long I had to scroll down to see the end of it.

[Fearless_banana]

@kambo_trick3y Lol. If you follow me then you'll see a lot of these.

[legs_n_sheets]

@kambo_trick3y we should just keep answering and offending the opinion owner and everyone else in here to give mods headaches lol lol lol

[Bandit74]

@Fearless_banana

Lol, I agree with kambo. This is probably the longest conversation I have ever seen on gag 😮

[TakeMaker]

@Red_Arrow Jesus Christ, took me half an hour to scroll through all that to get to your comment! But thank you none the less Red :)

[Grungenoreos]

Just like TakeMaker I agree, there is such a thing as "Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets." You can be both. You can be innocent looking in public but a freak in the bedroom. Its called having a private sex life. Not everyone cares to talk about sex to others

[IceCubedude]

@Grungenoreos are you sure its the right question you're commenting on?

[Grungenoreos]

@IceCubedude Yup it is.

[IceCubedude]

@Grungenoreos okay then i didn't get the answer thats all

[Grungenoreos]

@IceCubedude I was referring to the last part on your opinion on here about how the whole "lady in the streets, freak in the bedroom" thing is a myth. Sorry to burst your bubble about this but I am living proof you can be both. I am a Catholic teen who is polite and proper in public, never taking part in discussing people's sex life or making sexual jokes, porn, what turns me on, or anything like that. If you met me you would think I never cared for sex or even porn and how I plan on losing my v card at 18 and how I'd be someone that would want sex as often as possible. No one knows this. My friends would be surprised if I told them I watch porn and read intense erotica daily and how I get horny really often. But its my business. Not theirs. and thats how I prefer to keep things. But yeah its called balance: being a lady and a freak

[Fearless_banana]

Guys I think GAG is going to have to delete this opinion because it's flooding their servers. It's too damn long lmfao

[IceCubedude]

@Grungenoreos i never said that , i expect people to get horny its pretty normal but not show it to everyone around them.

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

@legs_n_sheets Hell, they gave me a timeout.

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

@Fearless_banana Uplifting to see spades calling themselves spades. Better than denying or imposing their lifestyle on others. Still doesn't justify your choices. Promiscuous people are the bane of monogamous relationships. Irreversibly waters down what two people could have.

[Fearless_banana]

Pnl. You never responded to my question.

[OlderAndWiser]

In their brains, women have this caricature of men. They think that we just want to get laid, that we have no emotional needs, and that we only think about long term relationships when we get too old to continue acting like little boys.

Wrong, wrong, wrong!

Of course some guys are cruising just to get laid. But most guys want n emotional commitment with a lady. We want sex sooner than women want it because that is how we become closer to you, while women want sex AFTER they become closer. Guys don't want to be just a number for a girl. We don't want to be notch #27 on her bed post. We would like to feel more important than that!

This is what most of the arguments miss when they crank up on the "slut shaming" nonsense. Yes, it does matter!

[legs_n_sheets]

Excellent point.

[lightbulb27]

@OlderAndWiser: Thoughtful and well said.

[flakosky]

MHO for you! Couldnt have said it better!

[GoldenWing]

I love that you're honest, I can appreciate it. However, sex to some women, like myself, is a pretty scary thing, because I fear that as soon as I have sex with a man, he will leave me... Which is exactly why it feels safer to wait until I'm exclusive with a man...

It scares me, so no, not all women want men to devote themselves to them because they are being manipulative, it's because we are scared that we will get abandoned. It's been a female fear since their EXISTENCE, because women had to raise children & men were the providers. Regardless of feminism, it will ALWAYS be a fear.

Also, how you FEEL when a woman expects you to commit, is IDENTICAL to how women feel when men expect SEX from them. Perhaps in both cases, we need to stop expecting & first GIVE value.

A relationship is not a trade... - off subject, but just FYI, because most women will never admit this; they are scared that if they do, men will run away. We all have insecurities & fears though... Nobody's perfect

[Truthatanycost]

@GoldenWing If you have always made men wait for sex then that's different. However, in the vast majority of cases, what most women do is have sex with men they find attractive immediately, get dumped, rinse and repeat. Then suddenly when they hit the age of 30 and start to lose their looks or libido, they begin making a guy wait. However, the guys they make wait aren't the ones that would dump them, they are the nice guys.

This is why making them wait not only sends a message that you think you own sex and not share it, it also tells them that it is very likely you never used to make men wait at all. As always there are exceptions but not many.

[GoldenWing]

@Truthatanycost Oh, you're referring to promiscuous women specifically? I've never sept with a man, so perhaps that would make a guy feel better in waiting.

[lightbulb27]

@GoldenWing good points. I like the point about adding value, that to me is the a major factor. It is "needy" I want something from you vs I want to give you. Two people giving works extremely well. One person needing (needy love... I need you to fill in an empty spot inside of me, I need sex from you... so I'll buy you somthing... blah blah...) is poison. Thus, its good you wait and that is one of the best measures I can think of to make a decision. I guess to some, $ is value, I won't get into that, I'm talking about adding value to their life and giving of themselves.

[Truthatanycost]

@GoldenWing Since there are very few exceptions to the rule, I think it is likely you will be tarred with the same brush.

[GoldenWing]

@Truthatanycost Well, unfortunately, I can't give a man sex if I am not in a relationship with him, because I'd go against my values & I won't sway my integrity for any man. The only way of separating the good men from the wrong ones, would be to wait until we are exclusive. A man who gives up very early on, will only be in it for what he can get, & that is what I want to avoid. I, personally, don't want to be in a relationship with a man as a strategy to lock him down. I want a relationship because I have a lot of love to give, & I want to be able to set him free with my love. That's all I want... Thank you for being honest though, I appreciate it a lot. I don't blame men for not trusting easily, as they stand to lose A LOT more.

[lightbulb27]

@GoldenWing You are a GEM! Please start a training program for young females.

[GoldenWing]

@lightbulb27 Exactly, adding value by giving more of yourself, not needy-giving as in showering a man with gifts & clinging to him for dear life. I'm glad you look at it the same way! 😃

[Truthatanycost]

@GoldenWing There is nothing unfortunate about you waiting. I'm just saying that many will not believe you due to so many others doing the same but for hypocritical reasons.

I think it is good for everyone to follow their beliefs regardless of others.

[GoldenWing]

@Truthatanycost Thank you for understanding! :) - it means a lot.

[Truthatanycost]

@GoldenWing You're welcome.

[lizziepooh03]

I think you should ask your friend why he would not a woman that was promiscuous.

My feeling is he would say for the following reasons.

1) She is a higher risk physically. I believe that is true. It is more likely that a promiscuous person has an STD than a non promiscuous person. Obviously there are exceptions but generally speaking this is true.

2) She is a higher risk emotionally. I believe this depends on the person. This definitely can be an issue. A person could be having sex with people for bad reasons. However, a person could be having sex with people for good reasons too like just wanting sex and not a relationship. lol!

3) It means she will cheat on him. This I complete disagree with it. I just do not understand this concept. A person could have slept with two people in their life and still have cheated on one of them so I do not agree that promiscuously in itself means infidelity.

I will say that yes, generally speaking being promiscuous is more frowned upon a female than a male. It just is not as accepted in a female as it is in a male so this will always be more of an issue for a female than a male. It does not mean it can't be an issue for a male as well. It just means it is more likely to be an issue for a female.

I do think you should ask your friend for more clarification on this. I think discussing with him will probably help you more in understanding the male mind about this than discussing it with us.

Signed,

A promiscuous female :)

[dudeman]

Well women who sleep around are less likely to stay married. Disagree all you want but it's just stats.

[lizziepooh03]

@dudeman That is interesting. I guess that is another reason to be wary of promiscuous women.

Do the stats say it is because they are more likely to cheat which leads to divorce or that women that sleep around tend to divorce?

Just curious...

I still think the cheating one is not an automatic negative against women that have slept around. I think people who cheat fall into two categories: the serial cheater who is a cheater and will likely always be a cheater or the situational cheater. And in the situational cheater I am not convinced the number of sex partners determines if you will cheat or not. I just don't really see that as the reason people in that category cheat.

[CoralSun]

A lot of men and women will care if someone they're interested in is promiscuous because it suggests poor character, lack of self control, lack of self-discipline, a possible pattern of sneakiness/shadiness, and an increased potential that their sexual side is going to be problematic and troublesome in the future. I know a lot of women, including myself, who have the same feelings as your friend expressed. Promiscuity can quickly become irreversibly unattractive especially once you find out what the person had to do/how low they had to stoop just for an orgasm.

[Anonymous]

Guys that I know do care. They think a girl that has been promiscuous is only good for one thing (sex). Especially if the guys knows all the men a girl has been with. If a woman has a lot of sexual partners, she may want to keep her sex life to herself and ALWAYS stay protected. The more partners a woman or man has the more infections they are exposed too. Men will think about stds when they think about a promiscuous woman. And women will think the same about men. I guess it depends on the person, no matter the gender.

[RJGraveyTrain]

We can argue until we are all blue in the face about why guys shouldn't care, but, the truth of the matter is, a lot do. Just like how a lot (but not all) women care if a guy is older and still a virgin. It suggests to them from what they personally believe that this person's actions are indicative to the type of person they are.

Is that always the case? No. But people assume, and they have the right to have their preferences.

[WhateverMayBeWillBe]

How do girls feel about older virgins... Well at least how do you feel?

[NoFcks2Give]

Honestly, I don't want to know cause if I know, being who I am is going to take some time to process. I'm almost annoyingly analytical and I've never had a mental moment of peace. So information like that becomes a Pandoras box of sorts. Keep it closed. Lol. It sucks for both parties. What if he says 10 and she says 43. If he's okay with it. Does it garuntee she won't feel insecure about her own past? Hell no. What kind if masochist opens this door? Lol

[RJGraveyTrain]

@WhateverMayBeWillBe It depends how old you are. I won't lie and say that it doesn't seem odd to me but I'm not about to throw stones at the guy.

[WhateverMayBeWillBe]

So like 30 and over?

[RJGraveyTrain]

@WhateverMayBeWillBe Yeah I'd say about that time it does register as abnormal. Not inherently negative but not common.

[bloodmountain1990]

What about men who aren't virgins but never been in a relationship or had an official girlfriend?

Regarding this question, I don't care about a girl's past as long as they're clean but I do find it a turnoff if a girl is boasting about her past sex life, partners, etc early on. I don't think it's ok for guys to act that way either.

[bloodmountain1990]

Like there's a difference between being sexually active and acting overly sexual to get attention. For example, the night I lost my virginity in college, I ended up hooking with the girl's roommate right afterwards. It was a rare occurrence and I was drunk but I don't share that with women.

[RJGraveyTrain]

@bloodmountain1990 Well I don't believe in hiding your sexual history, but that's your choice.

[bloodmountain1990]

@RJGraveyTrain what I mean is, it's one thing if you get to know someone then go into sexual history later on but talking about it when you first meet someone is too much information.

Hell I don't even mention to dates that I've never been in a relationship but if they ask then I say I've dated but nothing serious.

[madhatters4]

some care some don't. for some it will depend on the level of promiscuity and/or reasons why.

[legs_n_sheets]

I voted A, but as far as I'm concerned most guys don't really try to mask it or anything. It is a well known fact.

The difference between men and women is that men don't usually hide things, specially when it comes to the women they have been involved with. Most guys aren't alpha dudes who fuck the whole neighborhood of girls, so really the few girls they have been with isn't much of a deal. And heck, even the dudes who go around having casual sex don't need to hide it, because girls will give those guys attention anyways. And to their defense, men at least have sex with the girls they like and find physically attractive, since men can't perform if they aren't aroused by the girl they're fucking with. Women can easily do that since all they have to do basically is lay down and spread their legs (not saying is all girls do during the sexual act).

Women are not as honest in their actions. Many women have had sex or been in relationships with men who they aren't even that attracted to begin with. Being those moments mistakes or not, women are usually covering up stuff like that. So even more than having a high number of sexual partners, is the pretense and the phoniness that bothers men the most. I can't tell you how many times have I seen dudes disappointed because they found their girlfriends had a very "happy" past, yet she makes sex hard to get/and very seldom for them.

For women is usually "the past is the past", and NO, it isn't. I don't feel the need to hide those things because all those girls I've been with, I've been with honestly, there was never a pretense or anything, all I did I did it with emotion. If you feel the need to cover up the shit you did, it means you're a fake, you did it because you felt you had to, to either achieve something else or to keep the guy you were with. But not because you felt the passion to do it.

Women are very aware they lose their value by having a long history of sexual partners. And that isn't slut shaming. Women that ride the carousel carelessly and then suddenly decide to settle down and tie down some guy is a big deal. As a guy, you don't want to commit to a woman that has long mileage, and potentially a heavy baggage to deal with. Worse is when they feel the need to lie about it. So far more than not wanting to be with a woman that has been with so many guys, you are risking to be with a liar?

[vasilev]

Think about how you feel if you go to a party and somebody else is wearing that same amazing piece of jewelry you go that you thought was super special. It's still the same, but now you wearing it is less unique. It feels worse. Guys get like that with girls they sleep with.

They also evolved to feel disgust at female promiscuity as a defense against paternity fraud. They can't help that it's not attractive for a relationship even if they'll sleep with her just to get off, but then won't commit. Most of them see her as a long term investment risk not worth the cost. Because most of them seem to just kinda know by instinct she's more likely to get bored & leave if not outright cheat.

Most women just don't find shorter men as attractive, even if they say they don't care. They evolved to find men who can keep them safe more attractive, and being larger and taller is kind of cavewoman instinct for that. Most men are like that with women & promiscuity. They may say they don't care, but there's always a nagging caution bell going off subconciously warning of the danger & not to get comfortable.

Most guys I know do care to some degree. They have levels they find ideal. They have levels they tolerate for committment. They have levels they're fine messing around with and won't take seriously. And they have levels they won't touch with a 6" pole.

The guys I know with more experience tend to be more ok with women who have a little more. But most guys want to know they have more experience than the woman they're with. And that's also because they kind of know that women look at men who can't get experience as losers and become more a risk to have those women leave.

Really though, people just like what is hard to get more. Women tend to like men with more resources and feel good if they can get a high value man to commit. Men like that are rare and hard to come by. It's not easy for them to build up those resources. It's easy for them to be lazy. Men like women with lower body counts. It's easy for most women to get laid since most guys will be happy to, so a woman who does shows she has lower standards and doesn't value herself as much. It's different if it's longer term relationships over time if the numbers add up, but for a woman that just does one night stands or casual hook ups that's the ones most guys are wary of. She's just a risk to his helath and happiness.

[Bandit74]

I think most care at least to a certain extent, some more than others. Guys who dont care at all or in other words, there is nothing they could hear about your sexual history that would bother them, are kinda rare in my opinion. Of the guys who Do care, they won't all have the same tolerance for what qualifies as promiscuous. For some its any casual sex for others its based on your age. there's a lot of varienence between what different guys are ok with. Part of it probably depends on the guys history. For example, guys with higher numbers are generally more accepting of girls with higher numbers.

Personally I care a lot but I wouldn't advertise that in real life because I know that its not very politically correct. I would only admit it to other people who share the same viewpoint. I avoid mentioning it to women, especially if they are self described feminists. I know how that conversation would play out and I have no interest in it. So if a feminist ever asked me I would most likely lie and say that I don't care even though I do.

[Juan_Curious]

Guys care a lot about that, because this determines the type of relationship they'll want with a specific woman. But take in account that here we are talking about average guys (the majority), not about those who are also promiscuous. So... In general, there are two tendencies:

1) average guys prefer promiscuous women for casual sex or as a friend with benefits.

2) average guys prefer a lower body count for their committed partner. Society has constructed ways to detect that and make people decide which type of relationship want with each other. Clothing style, appearance, voice tone, vocabulary, etc. all those data substitute the obvious question: "how many people have you slept with?". This is something common to both genders and it is total hypocrisy to attribute those prejudices only to men. I have a sister who is always doing is with her friends: "oh, this guy looks a womanizer" "oh, this guy looks poor/filthy rich" "oh, that guy seems experienced/inexperienced" "oh, that guy seems a gentleman (when he's not...)". Prejudices are everywhere and directed from both genders. Now, if your real question is if a man can feel love for a promiscuous woman, and not see her as a medium to just have sex, well, off course he can, but he must like her a lot, otherwise he won't sacrifice his biological need to have sex with as many women as possible in the course of his life so to settle with a woman who has sexually behaved like a male, fucking with every man she had access to.

[Anonymous]

A OT if men actually do care about this even though we may say we don't. It's a double-standard. For most men we think that it's ok for us to be promiscuous, that's cause most men have been like that since the beginning of time. But when a girl does it we tend to think there's something wrong w her cause women usually aren't like that, especially in the olden days. Myself I tend to think she has daddy issues, raped or something when it comes to girls who are promiscuous. Society has a lot of double-standards. If a man has sexual relations w an under age female he's labeled as a sicko, pervert, he should go to prison. If a female does it society wants to be lighter on her, have her psychologically evaluated because obviously something is wrong w her mentally as opposed to the man who goes straight to prison. Not always the case but it happens. Not only that the thought of how many men she's blown, how many men have blown their was on her face, in her mouth or in her a$$, along w all the other vile things they may have done to her, not a good thought. So don't be promiscuous!

[Anonymous]

Yes, I do care. I'm not promiscuous myself and I want to be with someone that has similar values that I have. I'm not a virgin and I don't expect any girl I want a relationship with to be one either, but I'm 25 years old and have had sexual intercourse with a total of 4 women. I started having sex at 16 and each woman I had sex with I was in a serious relationship with. If the girl is around my age or older and has had 5,6, maybe 7 partners... as long as each partner was someone they were in a serious relationship with, then I'm cool with that. However, if the girl is around my age and has had sex with 5, 6, maybe 7 partners and maybe 1 . . . if that, was one they were actually in a serious relationship with and the rest were just hook-ups. . . then I, more than likely, wouldn't want to be with that person.

I have no problem to have that person as a friend, but I wouldn't want to start a relationship with that person. I have a female friend that has had sex with more than 10 guys by the time she was 18 . .. and that doesn't bother me one bit in regards to our friendship. . . but I want nothing to do with her beyond that.

[USMC-Crossroads]

I will not date a girl if she is a slut. If a girl has had a past like that, but found Jesus or something, that is something else. But I will have nothing to do with a woman that sleeps around. I don't even want to be friends with a girl with such low morals. I'm NOT saying she is wrong, or "Bad" or not as good of a person as me - not at all - I'm just saying that it is repulsive to me, and I don't want that in my life. Just like a hippie, or a Black Liberation Theologist,... it is disgusting to me. It's like asking "would it bother you to sleep next to a bucket of vomit?"... On it's face, it is repugnant.

[Truthatanycost]

Some pretend to find Jesus and it's usually right about the same time their looks start to fade...

[FashionQueen86]

Kind of like what number will you be if you dated one.

[USMC-Crossroads]

@Truthatanycost Now THAT was funny! Nice one.

[USMC-Crossroads]

@FashionQueen86 Is there a question there? I'm not sure what that means. The verbiage/syntax is a little off to me.

[FashionQueen86]

I was stating that if you dated a promiscuous woman, it's like what number will you be, since she's already seen a lot of men.

[USMC-Crossroads]

@FashionQueen86 I got ya, I think. That, in itself, doesn't quite bother me, so much as the kind of person (inside), her mentality, that I'm dealing with. Everybody has a past, and if she WAS that way, but now has a different view on things, then that's fine no big deal. But if she is still a slut, (even though it would be a nasty thought - that dozens of guys were recently insider her) - but that's not as disgusting to me, as the fact that she thinks that is an OK way to live one's life. That is nasty. That kind of thinking, and mental state, disgusts me. truthfully, I'd rather date a girl who was a slut, but is now a good Christian woman, than a girl who has only slept with a couple men but wants to do it a lot with many men in the near future. Like most Conservative guys, it matters to me more what inside her heart, mind, and soul... than what's been inside her pussy.

[Truthatanycost]

@FashionQueen86 Promiscuous women usually give themselves away... let me rephrase that... they usually let slip... er unintentionally show signs of their past, or accidentally show they were promiscuous. All a guy has to do is listen to everything she says and watch her body language.

Promiscuity and a tainted past seep out in different ways, especially if a person is trying to hide it with lies. It's amazing what lies are forgotten from one week to the next!

[dudeman]

@Truthatanycost yup if you have been with as many women as i have you recognize it.

[GoldenWing]

@Truthatanycost Omg!!! That is SO true 😂. Some of them actually DO pretend to find God, so they can work their way around their promiscuity & deceive men into believing they are these "saints"... :'). You have NO idea what women are capable of. Honestly, women think about manipulation, whereas such things won't even cross the male mind. Men's brains aren't wired for communication & connection like women's... Women think FAR deeper & they know exactly what to say & do. I'm not saying all women would do such a thing, & that some men are incapable of doing it though. Most men just don't think like that...

[Truthatanycost]

@GoldenWing Trust me on this, I know exactly what they are capable of and more guys are starting to wise up to this because of all of those tricks being exposed online.

The last woman that was interested in me lied about her past and had a boyfriend in a different city that she was keeping quiet about, while she tried to secure something with me. She also made a huge effort to be sexual, dress up, leather boots, hair down, boobs out and trying to massage my ego by telling me how great I was and how I was probably good in bed.

After she noticed I was not interested, she started consistently dressing with baggy pants, hair tied up and a plain top.

About a few weeks later I heard she was engaged and asked her how long she had been seeing the guy. She became silent which confirmed my suspicions. Her backup plan also wised up and ditched her before the wedding. With women and anyone else, ignore what is said and watch how they act.

[mattty]

From my experience people dont change. A former slut will not change to "good christian girl" and even then its just an act and she's the same person inside. They may want to settle down when they get older but thats because their looks starts to fade and not that many men wants to sleep with them anymore.

[yellowmamba024]

LOL at the two thumbs down from women.

[USMC-Crossroads]

@yellowmamba024 Yeah, Man! Quote from every college-age female in the modern world; "Oh, I just want a nice guy. Who is funny, and kind, and loves me. I don't care about money or looks." Sure, Honey. Sure. A guy (me) actually says he doesn't want a girl for sex, and he get two dislikes from girls! This generation is fucked. Where are the Amelia Earheardts? The Margret Thatchers? Princess Graces? The Ingrid Bergmans? All we have, is an over-abundance of Classless Hillary Clintons, screaming about how great they are, drinking like lushes, dressing like sluts, convincing the world that they are perpetual victims, and complaining that they don't get respect. Really? You couldn't make this shit up if you tried. C'mon, girls... where are the classy / strong / sweet women, that men used to work themselves to death for?

[sdistotallyme]

@USMC-Crossroads Your last post was SO spot on bro. The thing is this social justice "feminism" bullshit makes WOMEN MISERABLE TOO. Most men hate that shit and will run far away from a disgusting fem nazi. So what happens is that women can't keep a man and they start inventing crybaby excuses for their problems i. e. the so called "patriarchal" society. They never take responsibility for any of their own stupid decisions.

It's just not how things are supposed to be. Just because this is a "new idea" doesn't mean its a "good idea".

[yellowmamba024]

@USMC-Crossroads Yeah, finding a quality partner is quite almost dead. It is much tougher for a man to find a quality woman vs a woman finding a quality man. And women better not give the excuse that all men are cheaters or fakes. Women are only attracted to the ones that are.

[GoldenWing]

@yellowmamba024 Nah. Men don't cheat unless they are unhappy in my opinion. Any woman who understands a man, can make him happy, feel loved, & appreciated. Men & women are two different species entirely. I agree, there are plenty of good men out there, it's just sad when a man's spirit gets broken by women past the point of no return.

[MrOracle]

Guys who just want casual sex from girls (and there are plenty of them) are fine with promiscuous girls. Guys who want to date/be in a relationship with a girl generally do NOT want a promiscuous girl - or, will only consider a promiscuous girl for casual sex until he finds a non-promiscuous girl to be in a relationship with.

You can say this is wrong or whatever, but regardless, this is how it IS for most guys (depending on what the guy in question is looking for).

[wrightontime]

This one for MHO! This answer is how the real world works.

[sdistotallyme]

Yep, this is not politically correct but its the TRUTH. This is one of the very few double standards men enjoy (well alpha guys at least).

[joykelvens]

yes, i think he must.

[yellowmamba024]

Women who are salty will tell men to deal with their past sexual history. Well, if women want men who are looking for a serious relationship, then deal with the fact that they generally DO NOT want to have promiscuous women in their lives. It's eye for an eye.

[martyfellow]

Guys will say they don't care because hey think that impresses people with how 'manly' they are. You know, only sissies care about that.. I'm a MAN!!!

But most guys aren't so deluded. We know that a girl who has forced those habits likely will not change.

[martyfellow]

Loads of former sluts ecome lesbians once they reach 35.

[NectarOfPuss]

Where did you read that or is that just something you believe. I actually doubt your assumption I'll tell you why.. First of all you don't define what a slut is in your mind. How many men must a woman have in order to be classified as promiscuous?

[martyfellow]

@NectarOfPuss I'v seen it quite a few times, since I Ilive near the gay Mecca of San Francisco. Girls who were for sale as teens now are leaders in the gay community here.

[Dave20154]

You do know that you're born gay, right? You don't "become gay". They're just realizing they are, and are coming out

[martyfellow]

@Dave20154 No, they are just sluts who have found a way to be leaders of a community; You're not born gay, nor are you born a slut. It's a lifestyle choice like being vegan, unless you are one of the very few who really have screwed up sex chromosomes.

[Dave20154]

You're born gay, dude, most people know that

[martyfellow]

@Dave20154 Mot people knew there wasn't global warming a few years ago.

[martyfellow]

@Dave20154 Let me show you these retired sluts who now are speakers at gay events, Then tell me this isn't a lifestyle choice. They were pretty convincing as sluts, there was never any sign they were gay until they fell in with that community.

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

Slutdom is a loooooooonely place. By 35, their looks have faded (whether they admit it or not) and intimacy becomes crucial to holding a man that will take care of them. But, they're stuck because they are scared to death of men in their 30s who are looking for a suitable wife. They try and cougar it to prey on the younger guys, but once the looks go, so do the prospects. Watching the "empowered" women go alone without a man is a sad sight to see too. Accelerates their aging from all the depression, no wonder female suicide rates have seen marked increases in recent decades. So sluts have to comfort each other. It's a strange balance dynamic but logically follows. Give it away like it isn't sacred, and it won't be, whether you want it to or not. Begetting.

[NectarOfPuss]

I now understand. "Loads" has some type of mathematical connotation. I did not know that I thought numbers were used okay thank you by

[martyfellow]

@NectarOfPuss I can show you any number of sluts who now are community gay leaders out here.
Some are STILL hetero sluts, on the side

[Dave20154]

Oh, no, they knew it existed, they just denied it, because they didn't want it to be true. Trust me, you're born gay, that's just how it is

[Dave20154]

You've got problems dude, look at your username. And yes, you're born gay, just like you're born straight

[NectarOfPuss]

You may even be correct but your assumption does not prove anything. You are police would not hold up in a peer-reviewed journal. They would not publish your assumptions. I was asking for an article that backed your opinion. California is weird San Francisco in Palo Alto make California look sane. I was at Stanford for four years just finished last month. The people there are absolutely out of their mind and worse they don't think so. So telling me that what you see in San Francisco can hold true all over the United States or all over the world is just your assumption. That does not prove it is statistically correct. I'm not fighting with you I'm just being an ass hole again your assertion may be correct just do not have the backing that I was looking for.

[hellionthesage]

They care when it comes to relationships. A promiscuis woman is far more likely to divorce and cheat statisticly speaking. It increases the odds of him having to raise and care for a child that is not his which biologicly speaking is to his detriment. Then of course it degrades him because while he is essentially paying to have sex with her through affection through dating and buying her gifts etc she had already given herself to another with little to no exchange (ie some random guy at a bar) thus devaluing him because clearly he must not be all that important or desirable because she makes him jump through hoops the man she supposedly cares for while she simply gave it away to another whom she barely even knew. So over all yes men do not like a promiscuis woman when it comes to relationships. Inversley any man who is looking just for sex obviously has no problem with them since its easy and practicly free. So yes most guys will care and with fairly good reason too.

[yellowmamba024]

Finally someone who really gets it.

[hellionthesage]

@yellowmamba024 Thank you, its seems apparent to me so I never understood why people are always so confused by this.

[yellowmamba024]

@hellionthesage Yes, I am pretty puzzled by this too. I think one of the huge reasons is that they are in denial, particularly women. Women want to have sex with all the bad boys when they are 14-35. When they reach 35, they want to be married to a good man. At the same time, they want men to accept their sexual history. Newsflash to ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, very seldom men will stoop to level this low.

[hellionthesage]

@yellowmamba024 I think the promiscuis women do think that way that their actions will not be judged, ironic since actions are the only thing you should judge a person on.

[yellowmamba024]

@hellionthesage Too bad it's usually the hot women that are promiscuous. When I see a hot woman, I tell to myself, there is no way she does not have multiple sex partners already, let alone being a virgin. Look at that face!

[hellionthesage]

@yellowmamba024 Actually from what I have heard studies have stated the opposite that the more attractive the woman the less promiscuis because she doesn't need to be, men are going to be much more inclined to wait for her then they would a less attractive woman and thus ensures she has a smaller count because she has the luxury of waiting for the right guy.

[yellowmamba024]

@hellionthesage I pray you are right.

[NoFcks2Give]

Thats simple.
Most guys looking for an LTR/Marriage... of course. Women who have more sexyal partners are less likely to last in long term relationship, especially marriage. Not to mention, most guys want a clean slate. A lot of women who are sexually liberated earlier have children at a younger age. So by the time most men consider marriage, having children as a women can take you off the map as a potential mate.

Most guys who are looking for a warm body... not in the slightest. Promiscuous women must exist to fill a demand. Without them it'll be harder for this guy to live the this particular lifestyle. A woman with sexual control over her body makes her more empowered, yes, but most importantly it makes her achieveable.

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

That is brutal. Awesome.

[lightbulb27]

I care in various ways:

If I'm looking for a serious girlfriend, and she was promiscuous in the past, it would raise questions... I'd need to understand her emotional health and balance. My experience with girls who have a lot of sex or partners is they get attached to guys or mixed up easily (not always). So I'd tread carefully. I'deally, I'd want someone who has demonstrated ability to commit to someone, bond, emotional availability and growing maturity.

I've been concerned for friends and acquaintences that had that behavior. Every time I've seen it, it has a root in some other life issue or trauma and so they are living out their life, but it isn't the one they really want... it takes time for them to change. Often, they lack self esteem... I can only do so much to lift them up, as it is some underlying wound or need is the problem. It bugs me they give themselves away to guys that don't care about them, but what can I do, it's their life and they have to figure it out.

[1988fido]

Am nt sure of the meaning of that word :
If it means she had many sexual encounters with different guys well then..:

I see it as positive and negative

1- she have experience do a positive here
2- she might be the kind who sleep with anyone which is not what am looking for

I see it something u do it with person u love that's why it's called making love

Or at least someone u like so much u think u will love them so u include the sex in the relationship plans to progress in ur feelings

[Hal2002]

It really depends on the guy, and his confidence level. A guy that is confident in himself, it will not bother. But a guy that has low self esteem , it will matter.

I myself am not bothered by a woman's sexual past, I have confidence in myself. I do not care that a woman has enjoyed her sexuality.

I have no problem with a single gal that was open that she played the field, what I have a problem with. Is if a woman was in a relationship, and was seeing other guys behind that persons back.

I have told guys that where and are promiscuous, they are hypocrites for having double standards about women that have been doing the same thing they are.

[CrazyAK]

It really depends however for the most part men do care. If your in a relationship with a promiscuous partner then you will feel very sceptical about that person. It's a lot harder to build trust with someone who's knocking on every guys door right? I really liked this girl and she did too but when I found out she literally will fuck any guy if she's had a few drinks I had to turn her down. It's really upsetting to see little self control or pride, that's why you have to make the responsible decision for them and say no. I know cases of open relationships where both partners can bang whoever they want, but eventually that turns ugly, and people lose trust, or you fall for someone else. For the most part it never works. We all want to feel loved and as soon as someone else takes that from you, the attraction is completely lost. That's why it's hard for a lot of people to accept cheaters back, simply because they can't get over the feeling of being worthless. Hope I helped!

[MagiAlphaOne]

As a Man, YES I care. And women who plan on getting married should care to!

Women who have more pre-marital sexual partners are MORE likely to fail at their first marriage. The practical advice for a single woman seeking to lower the risk of her first marriage ending in divorce is to remain a virgin bride. If she sleeps with even one person, her risk of divorce increases, at the very least, by roughly 10% (from 14.9% to a value of 25.6%). …And it could easily go higher.

Several studies have been done on this. The Article below puts it all together. VERY informative read!

socialpathology.blogspot.com.au/.../...t-post.html

[FakeName123]

Statistically speaking people with higher amount of partners prefer partners who had a high number and the same accounts for those with lower.

It's generally how people see sex and sexuality. Some see it as more precious while others see it as simple physical pleasure.

[aggresor]

this question is flawed, it is like asking:

do you want a car that is cheap or expensive?

well, you can divide the answers into 4 boxes:

1. a rich guy who wants an expensive car, because he can and he is indulgent.
2. a poor guy who wants an expensive car, because he is a dreamer and has standard, even though he will never afford the expensive car.
3. a rich guy who wants a cheap car, because he is just cheap.
4. a poor guy who will have a cheap car because that is the only thing he can get.

[feminismisnarcissism]

yes and no. I care if she's a cheater, that's about all.
if she's had 100+ partners... as long as she's mine now, I could give a fuck.

but promiscuous to me tends to mean - careless about sex... not "has had a lot of partners". so ya, it really depends on her self worth if it affects how i see her... as a low self worth will typically mean cheating, which i'm not interested in. So # of partners doesn't matter, ethics on sex DOES, to put it simply.

Right now i'm dating a girl who was a swinger for 5 years... for example. when a girl who has a lot of dudes in her past compliments your cock or your skills... it means a lot more. Past that, I don't really see how it affects how i see her.

[Fearless_banana]

For most men it would suggest something negative about her character. That's just logic. Are there women that sleep around just because they love sex? Sure but a good majority of them do it out of insecurity. Stereotypes exist for a reason.

[Shawn58]

Think so?

[Jxpxtxr]

As long as it's not seriously over the top most guys that actually leave their houses don't care, mostly because a high percentage of them is promiscuous themselves.
When it comes to the virgin basement dwellers on gag it's a totally different story but these are not the people you meet in real life anyways because well, basements, lmao

[Karōshi]

I'm not a virgin basement dweller, and I care. lol

[Jxpxtxr]

@Karōshi are you sure

[Karōshi]

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

[Karōshi]

Y'know, G@G is supposed to be a helpful and caring community for all, inferring that guys who prefer a woman who hasn't been promiscuous are virgin basement dwellers is terribly antagonistic.

[Crazybandicoot]

yeah i agree im not a virgin and i do care if i was ever to go in a relationship with her she can't be a nympho. But if iwas going to have fun... honestly i still would just cause im to sensitive and will try and change her while i fk her on the daily

[Jxpxtxr]

@Crazybandicoot you obviously can't read, congratulations on your illiteracy.

[Jxpxtxr]

@Karōshi lol right, you obviously can't read properly - and only people who know what I've said is true for them would get so butthurt over this in the first place. Please do some self reflection.

[Crazybandicoot]

most girls are nymphos though

[Jxpxtxr]

@Crazybandicoot lol right, please go outside

[Crazybandicoot]

dude wth? why are u assuming some kind of negative connotation agaisnt any guy that isn't agreeing with you. There is a big difference between a nympho and a nymphomaniac. Thats why i say most girls are nymphos

[Jxpxtxr]

@Crazybandicoot no, In fact the only difference is that one is an abbreviation of the other. Please look into a dictionary.
And I've been on this site long enough to know that the majority of guys on here view literally any girl as promiscuous if she isn't a virgin and hold the huge double standard that it's perfectly find for them to sleep around but when women do it it's gross and they are "sluts". Right, talk about hypocrisy. And before you start ranting again please make you're you've actually read and understood what I've just said properly.

[Crazybandicoot]

can u stop being a smarty pant, you know exactly what i meant!
If a girl has more than 5 sexual partners in my opinion she's a nympho, she gets friendzoned so i can bang and date her nice friends. Why would i want to date someone that is likely to have some sexual relationship issue in the future like getting cheated on. Same thing applies to guys except that number should be risen to 10, and yeah i agree its hypocritcal but you know so is that fact that woman can view men as sexual objects and get away with it but men can't and are looked down upon. life isn't fair for both genders.

[Jxpxtxr]

@Crazybandicoot I'm sorry but that doesn't happen in my world and I also hope you realise that with your statements you have just proven my point.

[Crazybandicoot]

woman are the ones that are genetically made to take care of babies, what kind of mother would you be if u fuck another guy every day (common 'warning' behaviours is their past sex life). a guy is the provider, what better way than saying your a man that is highly desired for his traits and skills than a higher count (and hopefully their quality and not just all nymphos). likewise for females u be a valued woman if u get loads of attention but only accept the ones that matter.

[Jxpxtxr]

@Crazybandicoot "woman are the ones that are genetically made to take care of babies, " what kind of argument is that? Did you totally lose the context or what? Lmao "the sky is blue" "no! You're wrong because bananas are yellow"
Logic?

[Crazybandicoot]

gender roles are what have driven mankind to exist till this day, if it wasn't logical you, i , anybody on GaG, or whereever else would not exist. You honestly can't be a feminist in this manner, thats absurd.

[Crazybandicoot]

my point is, woman are meant to be careful, while men take more risks. Its actually in our DNA which make our behaviour so different.

[Jxpxtxr]

@Crazybandicoot "gender roles are what have driven mankind to exist till this day, if it wasn't logical you, i , anybody on GaG, or whereever else would not exist" lmao did you just link the most outdated social concept to procreation and basic biology?
Okay, that's it - I'm not having a conversation with a retard, no offense in any way, but no..

[Truthatanycost]

@Crazybandicoot The reason why she is doing this is simple. She has been with a lot of men already so is defensive about the subject. The shaming attempts i. e basement dweller virgin (very cliche) is a dead giveaway.

[Jxpxtxr]

@Truthatanycost right 2, 1 voluntarily = a lot! see, that's the basement dweller mentality I find so ridiculous.

[Truthatanycost]

You seem to be mentioning this ''basement dweller'' phrase a lot, maybe you are just talking about yourself. You should try getting some sunlight. Staying in the basement is not going to pay the bills!

[Karōshi]

To be honest I don't really care, it's just an opportunity to illuminate the blatant bias and shit moderation on G@G. I would do some self reflection, but there's not enough light down here. lel

[Truthatanycost]

@Karōshi Dude, I think she trolled us. She is a basement dweller and probably hates being that way so is projecting it onto everyone else. That also explains her low number of partners!

[Karōshi]

@Truthatanycost You may be right!

static7.comicvine.com/.../...-1802496551-bait-.jpg

[Jxpxtxr]

@Truthatanycost lol right, so I'm now a basement dweller for having had only 1 partner but I was a slut just 10 seconds earlier? And funny how you keep talking about me being a troll or offended by this when its very VERY obvious that the only one truly butthurt is you lmao try again?

[Jxpxtxr]

No wait, you've already lost all credibility about 3 posts ago

[TheWaterBear]

Most men actually are not as promiscuous as you think.

[Jxpxtxr]

@TheWaterBear it's not about men being as promiscuous as I think it's the general mentality of male gag users that non virgin = slut, but of course only if the person is a girl, that annoys me.

[StickStickity13]

Calling them basement dwellers is basically a defense mechanism. You are probably a slut and want to defend yourself

[Jxpxtxr]

@StickStickity13 so me making a rational observation on a majority of male gag users after having been on this site for over a year is a "defense mechanism" but you randomly assuming I'm a slut who want's to defend herself isn't? Nice logic you got there lmao try again?

[Heera]

@Jxpxtxr the truth has been spoken 👍

[19magic]

@Crazybandicoot I don't really care about much else said in this post but five sexual partners really that's not even one a year... okay maybe if it's 18 legal sex age, which I'm guessing it is.

[19magic]

What I don't just get is why it matters past that either partner is clean. What you did as a teen will not define you for life. There were times I used to steal drinks from shops cus I was ultra thirsty and my mother didn't care, but that doesn't mean I'm a thief. You ask people in their 30s how much they drank/how often they drank from 18-24 hell loads start at 15, they're not all alcoholics. So why is it so different for sex.

[Jxpxtxr]

@19magic the thing is, for those guys it's only different for girls - they are firm believers of the double standard that guys who have had multiple sex partners are "players" and to be admired but girls who have had multiple sex partners are "disgusting" and "sluts". I really wouldn't take it all too seriously for exactly that reason.

[19magic]

I get that a lot nowadays one of my mates is the classic definition of a slut. Before uni I would have slagged her off and called her names. But since then I realised does it really matter she cares about her health more than I do. She gets herself checked every three months without fail. And she doesn't give that much of a shit, one if the guys she was with said he's been with around 30. Her reply was it doesn't matter if I've been with 1 or 100, he then suddenly looked really worried. Especially when she asked the question when we're you last checked and he was like uhh 6/7 months ago.

[Jxpxtxr]

@19magic yeah I personally don't see an issue with it as long as they're clean either, I most likely wouldn't be with someone who has a rep of cheating or has slept with an acquaintance or even friend of mine but tbh with none of the people I 'dated' and know of Ikr the number question was actually asked at all. That's why I really think this is only an issue for the type of people that never leaves their homes, simply because you never seem to meet those people irl..

[Jxpxtxr]

*irl not Ikr

[Anonymous]

I can't speak for everyone or even generally but I speak for myself
1. I don't really care about how promiscuous a girl is whether she's a booty call, friends with benefits or girlfriend
2. Honestly? I'd love being with a promiscuous bi girl for various reasons
3. The reason is not that she'll get me other girls to have sex with etc, I'm well capable of hunting by and for myself
4. Most guys that probably 'like' promiscuous girls are those that want to 'score' with them and brag about it that's all.
5. Most wouldn't want them as girlfriend etc just cause they can't hold up against the sneer & jibes or their 'fellow guys' apart from the situation that she'd probably have had sex with some or all of them
6. Whichever way how one conducts their life is their personal choice. I don't think anyone should really poke their nose into that.
7. Vote 'A'

[Anonymous]

To some degrees they care. I think there is a double standard where its ok to do some degree for guys to be able to sleep around but when a girl does it she's a whore, the ones who disagree that it isn't ok for guys to sleep around get a bad name for the ones who do, that being said I think it should go more in depth than just the number of partners. How long ago was it? Just because someone was promiscuous 20-23 doesn't mean that they are now or the same for ages 24-27 when they are the age of 26 or 29 as of now, people change to some point I think that some people need to take in consideration that people do change, values change etc. does it change the past? no but when was the last time you (generally speaking) made a mistake? would you like to be judged for the rest of your life for making a mistake?

[mistixs]

Many men will gladly use a promiscuous woman as a cum-dumpster but wouldn't date one.

It's hypocrisy at its finest.

[NoFcks2Give]

No one man can love a woman who belongs to the world. It's not hypocrisy, sex is a mutual exchange. And would you date a man that has been in love 10 times. You might, but its always in the back of your mind.

[sexyalphamale]

As long as she can keep it in her pants *while she's dating you*, I don't see a problem with it. Cheating is the issue, not promiscuity at least to me.

[melme16]

Girl, you're legs are not a virus, but they sure spread like one ;)

[Major_Vybz]

Oh shit😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Oram52]

@melme16
Hahahahahhaha Lmao

[melme16]

Opps *your legs****

[yellowmamba024]

I heard shots fired.

[Yoloxt23]

Lol, you give more pussy away than an animal shelter.

[dogbert444]

Promiscuity, for me, is a no-no! I've said previously that if she's had 10 previous lovers and I'm number 11, how long before she's moved on to nmber 12.

[ksoma]

I voted other, because most guys are perfectly happy to sleep with promiscuous women, but for a relationship, want women who are not promiscuous.
I, personally, disagree with this mind set. It is completely unfair to be willing to sleep around oneself, but want a woman without a promiscuous past for a relationship. That is why I do not sleep around, and I don't want a woman who has either.

[Homebakedcookies]

"It is completely unfair"

No it isn't. It's called natural selection. The better men will spread their seed in more women. Thus making way for a more evolved species.

But a woman who spreads her legs for any lowlife risks making way for a lousy offspring. Thus according to human nature, she is worthless.

[ksoma]

@Homebakedcookies So... the more children a man fathers, the better chance of successful, healthy offspring? But the more children a woman has, the better chance of unhealthy, worthless offspring?
A man wanting to fuck anything with a hole is a better man, but a woman prone to opening her legs only does so for trash?

Your entire view is fucking retarded.

[Homebakedcookies]

Don't pretend to misunderstand. A woman who spreads her legs for ANYONE due to having low standards or poor judge of character will increase the risk of producing bad offspring.
An intelligent woman with higher standards WILL NOT. It's NOT about how many children a woman has. It's about WHO she has them with.

In a first world country were womens rights are respected, natural selection is very much in play. Obviously it doesn't work the same way in the third world were women don't get to pick their males and who to have offspring with.

It's not retarded. It's nature. We are all here today because the smarter men got the women.
You can also get women by just being a violent fucktard. But that won't leave an intelligent offspring. Just more violent fucktards, as you can see in some parts of the world.

A woman can only have 1 baby every year or so, while a man can tecnically have 365 babies a year. Successful men will make more babies. Unsuccessful men will make less.

[IamFler]

@Homebakedcookies
Men have to take care of their children and women , protect and feed them so technically he can't take care of 365 children plus 365 women and please stop finding an excuse for men to be promiscuous just saying it's your nature, only animals live simpmy obeying their instincts, humans were given too much brain for that

[Homebakedcookies]

@IamFler Who says men have to take care of their offspring? There are two types of men in the world. Those that stick around and those that don't. It's up to the woman to choose which type is best to mate with.

[DogEatsCat]

If she is supposed to be with me but screwing others on the side then two conditions or I will be upset: 1. What's okay for her is okay for me too. and 2. If she is not doing that with me then why stay with her? If I am her boyfriend when she needs money or a place to stay but he is her boyfriend when she wants to have fun and fool around sh can just go to him for all of it and leave me out of it all together.

[EmoKate97]

Of course they do. And i agree with the statement that "they just dont talk about it" when in actuality a guy wants to feel like what you have is special and its hard if a women is promiscuous. That's one of my worst fears, if a guy i'm really into asks about my sexual past, he has to macho and pretend it doesn't bother him but deep down it only makes sense that it would bother him. I wouldn't want to lie but i'll probably would exaggerate the truth until he drop.

[EmoKate97]

*drops it

[flypaper]

Yeah. I've only ever been with one guy and I'm married but if I wasn't and I was dating I couldn't be with a guy that cared. If he asked me that I wouldn't answer until he could prove that it really doesn't matter aka he assumes it high and accepts me anyway. I rather be alone then with someone who looks for a mate based on that, or thinks that that really matters... I wouldn't be so desperate as to feed into that just to have someone. He can have his preferences but I still have mine as well...

[dudeman]

@flypaper i feel sorry for you husband. o the mind games you must play.

[flypaper]

@dudeman Haha well I'll let him know. I am sure he'll appreciate it :D

[dudeman]

Why not just don't be a slit instead of lying and taking away his freedom.

[flypaper]

@dudeman And by over exaggerating to she is taking away his freedom how? Like I said I've only ever had sex with one guy but still wouldn't want to be judged on it, if that's how he is looking for a potential mate I am not interested. He is free to judge people how he sits fit as am I and EmoKate. Everyone is entitled to their preferences... no?

[dudeman]

@flypaper if she lowers the number yes she's taking away his freedom.

[dudeman]

@flypaper obviously this is just on ewe of many criteria. Would you marry a man who never had an intention on getting a job.

[flypaper]

@dudeman but I wasn't talking about lowering numbers and neither was she...

[flypaper]

@dudeman I want a guy who is passionate about whatever he chooses to do. I don't want a guy with no drive but I judge that based on what he talks about what his goals and dreams are... not what he's done. I don't ask for previous work history -lol. Everyone is indeed allowed to have their own criteria like everyone is allowed to decide if they want to be subjected to said criteria or not. Freedom is a 2 way street Sir.

[flypaper]

@dudeman If he comes from or has a lot of money but wants to make sure she is in it for him and not the money is more then welcome to let her assume what she wants until he knows she is for real then tell her the truth. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion.

[dudeman]

@flypaper if you lie you take away a person's choice. There is a huge difference in being modest with money and lying.

[flypaper]

@dudeman If you over exaggerate or let him believe what he wants and he stays - it's the same thing. You want to know the person is there for what you view are the right reasons. if he is going to judge me to see if I am a slut... I'll go along with it to see what he does afterwards. I don't want to be judged "or choosen" based on my lack of numbers rather for who I am same as a guy down playing his wealth... no one wants to be used or have a relationship based on that. I am more then my body just like a guy is more then his money. Decide I'm worth it assuming the worst and I'll know your someone that I want to be with. My husband thought my number was way higher and choose to be with ME anyway because at the end of the day it really didn't matter. Body count defines someone as much as money does... and I don't think either should. You are entitled to your own opinions and your own method but so is everyone else. Your obviously not my type nor am I yours. Not everyone fits.

[flypaper]

@dudeman At the end of the day everyone is looking for someone who shares their values, wants and goals and it's up to you to find it. I'm not saying there should be this big lie rather it shouldn't be used to gauge relationship goals in the begining FOR ME.

I found my own soulmate... there are things he waited to tell me until we were serious too. He was relieved to know he was my first but I needed to know that he'd still want me even if he wasn't. Who wants to be judged on such petty crap? You can choose to be judged on the money in your wallet or your body count I won't stop you... it's just not for me. To each their own. It obviously worked for us and I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't want a guy to be with me because I was a virgin or slept with 1 or 2 people or whatever he deemed appropiate, anymore then you'd want a girl to want to be with you for your wallet. Prove your worth me and I'll prove I'm worth you but like I said your allowed to do whatever you want.

[dudeman]

@flypaper she didn't say over she just said. exaggerate. I just think it's silly that the number shouldn't matter.

[dudeman]

@flypaper the thing I saga I don't find it petty at all. If she's cheap then I won't pay full price.

[flypaper]

@dudeman "Cheap", "Full Price" . in my opinion that says much more about you then it does about her. It says you see a woman as something to be bought.. that's exactly what I want to stay away from. A guy who views woman that way is not a man I'd want anything to do with.

[dudeman]

@flypaper you mean I value my time and comments is what you mean. If she's cheap I don't offer full price. Of you don't understand the analogy that says more about you then me.

[dudeman]

Time and commitments

[flypaper]

I am not a commodity... I am a person and I am not looking to be bought if that's what he's looking to do then I am doing him a favor by overexaggerating so no ones time is wasted. A lot of my friends have done the same thing as well... it's a good way to see someones character and what they are really in it for.

If guy views sex as making the girl cheap, why would she want to have sex with him? So he can see her as less afterwards? No thanks. I don't want him to feel like he ruined me for other men, give him some kind of sorted power... I wouldn't want to be with someone that is into "ruining people". I need to be seen as a person, not an object to be used or cheapened. Sex is a good and beautiful thing, and I want someone who believes that as well... if it ruins people... not good or beautiful... that would make it something to be avoided with no exceptions? Would it not? But I hope you find happiness someday, someone worth your purchase, that sees things as you do and is okay w/it

[flypaper]

Yeah I get the analogy but I also get what it stands for... any analogy you use for this will be very unflattering and there is a reason for that.

[dudeman]

@flypaper you clearly don't respect men.

[dudeman]

@flypaper sex is a wonderful thing between certain people if sho re hands it out like candy it's cheap. How Is wanting a respectable women make a guy in it. for something bad?

[flypaper]

I can change the words from bought to chosen but from what you said it sounds like they are more or less one and the same... time and commitments and all. It sounds like you are saying you are choosing an obligation based on her market value. You can word it however you want, make it sound better - that's just the picture I am getting. This is just how I see it, just like you see a woman's worth as what is between her legs... your entitled to your preference and views just as I am... freedom is a beautiful thing.

[dudeman]

@flypaper no it's not just between her legs but it is factored in. It's silly to think other wide or to think it shouldn't be

[flypaper]

@dudeman Lol. Well alrightly then. Have a good one Sir!

[ThisDudeHere]

I would say the majority of guys do care about that.

[Chief16]

And women too.

[Spermdumster666]

guys see a difference in sex and relationships. If its just sex they dont seem to care but if its a relationship they seem to want a less promiscuous woman. We girls may bash them over the head for this as it doesn't sit well with feminists or the PC nazis but at the end of the day whether they say it or not a woman's sexual history is a real factor when a guy is deciding if to pursue a relationship.

[PrettyKitty31]

As I'm not actually a guy so I can't know this for sure but I'd guess it depends on what the guy is looking for. If he's looking to hook up he probably won't care if she's promiscuous, just that he won't catch anything from her. If he's looking to be serious with a woman I doubt he wants to walk down the street and think one of the five guys he's just past has had his dick in his girlfriend.

[JohnB1]

Most will care if the promiscuous girl wants a relationship. Hell yes. A relationship requires being someone of quality. Promiscuous is not quality. There is always someone better than you. We can find plenty of relationship material girls who are not promiscuous. You aren't the only girl on earth to date.

Guys don't care about promiscuous if they don't have to be in a relationship with you. They don't care if its just a hook up or just to use you for sex then a promiscuous girl is OK.

[JohnB1]

Also the promiscuous girl is good for a place holder when the guy is in between relationships.

[DivaMonae]

Actually yeah I find that to be true. Guys that love promiscuous girls for the most part is a temporary thing. Very sedolm men want that for their future or see them as wife material.

To most guys promiscuous girls are the kind they play around with and then eventually they settle down and bring home the "right" kind of girl to mom.

[Tdieseler]

Of course it matters to most guys if a girl is/was promiscuous... but i see it as a stereotype.. I personally don't care if a girl is promiscuous... I am, so why can't she.
Following the law of nature, guy/males are "hunters" so i guess it can be a little confounding when the "prey" is making the approach. But we are humans not animals and its supposedly an "equal" world and thats the way i see it. If guys can, i don't see why girls can't.

[Homebakedcookies]

If a woman chooses you based on certain high standards it means you are special and not many other men have a chance of dating her. If a woman has no standards and sleeps with anyone, would you feel happy to be chosen? Even worse, what if you're married to her and you're not sure your kids are even yours?

[Tdieseler]

@Homebakedcookies thats another way to look at it.

[Mishan97]

I don't know cause I'm a girl but I feel like guys respect girls who aren't promiscuous more than girls who are cause they see those type of girls as easy. I'm just saying this from what I hear from guy friends. It's kind of a dumb double standard though cause guys don't get bashed for sleeping around but girls do :/

[NoFcks2Give]

Sex is not the parallel for men, love is.
Would you feel comfortable if a guy you were getting serious with, had been in love 10 times in his past?

[Mishan97]

@NoFcks2Give no and I wouldn't feel comfortable with a guy who had sex with a bunch of different people either. That's why I don't understand why it's considered cool for guys to sleep with a lot of girls cause to me that's unattractive

[tbm1986]

Most guys are worried about infection transmission and reputation/ego. Also, girls want stable relationships as much as girls do.

It wouldn't bother me, provided she was clean and attentive. I've had promiscuous girlfriends before and people used to say it should bother me but I didn't care.

[10dsw]

You're shocked because a guy doesn't want to sleep with a girl that's "used up"?

I don't date girls that have slept with 2 or 3 or more guys and don't really even put a second thought into girls beyond 25. Of course this will change as I age but I want to stick to this as long as possible.

Haha some of the assumptions girls hold about guys are funny 😁

[Anonymous]

I can't speak for anyone else, but I care, if I find out a woman is promiscuous, she automatically ceases to be taken seriously by me. Any attraction I have towards her decreases and she is automatically ruled out as being a potential partner. I don't care if it was in the past, she doesn't cut the mustard.

[Anonymous]

Yes generally a girl who doesn't hold her body to a higher standard reduces her value.
Since women generally hold the sexual power and pick and choose who, when, and how often they do it... a female who does it with any guy that shows her attention is essentially saying that it doesn't take a special kind of person to be with her and therefore isn't worth as much as a female who expects a male to be special before letting him have the treasure.
Like the saying goes... a lock that any key can open, is a useless lock.

Will a guy have sex with an easy girl... of course. Starving African children don't turn down shitty food as long as they get to eat. We don't turn down sex if it's the only option available.

[RedVulcan]

You're right, nobody talks about it, so I believe it would depend on the guy. Personally I would care a bit since it means her concept of commitment is a little shaky if I were looking for a relationship with her, but I would also be able to talk it out and move on once the issue is done with.

[oldanddecrepid]

Most guys care, however, it seems pretty two-faced if the guy is a player! I think most respectable men would rather not be with a woman that has slept around a lot.

Not from the perspective of ewww that's disgusting but more the perspective of, I wonder if she is actually done with that lifestyle? ie., from a faithfulness pov!

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

Screw the players too. They make the lives of decent men difficult. They're scum parasites who need their teeth kicked in.

[oldanddecrepid]

@mostwomenshouldstfu that pretty much sums it up!

[futuredk]

A key that can open any door should be exhalted, but a Lock that be opened by any key is worthless.

[lightbulb27]

Bingo... it looks like she lacks self worth and for a ltr how that work if she doesn't value herself. That said... it is more about where she is at right now emotionally.

[sara_nour]

a lock is an object without any feeling or libido it can't be compared to women aka a human being grow the fuck up and it's a 16 year old girl who is telling you that

[futuredk]

@sara_nour it's an analogy. In the dating scene at any given time most women once they hit puberty will spend most of the rest of their life fighting off guys who are trying to fuck them. They are the ones that have to select the best suited male. Guys on the other hand after puberty spend their time trying to sleep with as many women as possible which means proving we are the best candidates by displaying a whole host of attractive characteristics. So a guy who is able to sleep with many women is usually celebrated. It's like someone who gets every job he applies for. Verses a woman who hires any applicant that walks in the door. As a young girl you may not understand this but it affects pretty much how all men and other women see you even if they aren't open about it. As a girl you are free to sleep with as many men you want but most men when looking for a wife and the future mother of their children would prefer the girl that hasn't been to the moon and back and vice versa

[futuredk]

@sara_nour poll results support my argument

[sara_nour]

i'm a virgin so i don't have to think about it now but i hate when women become sex object and it only worth is between her legs. i know many people think like that but they need to know that women should have the freedom to sleep with whoever how many guy she want to without being treated as an used object and when you love someone you don't care about their past plus you can get married with a women who have a perfect reputation but had a past of promiscuous women or you can refuse to date an intelligent and perfect women because she have a bad reputation that is the result of fake rumors.

[futuredk]

@sara_nour that is your personal opinion but the majority clearly disagrees.

[sara_nour]

i don't care the day i will set up or get married with someone i want him to have the same mentality and respect for the women and her body as me. ignorance is a turn off for me.

[Anonymous]

They do care. I care as well if a man is/was promiscuous. I wouldn't be with a man who slept around in the past and/or with a man who paid whores. People are free to do whatever they want in regards to their sexual life. It doesn't mean that I would ever accept being with someone who used to screw around in the past. It's a deal-breaker to me.
However, I consider it hypocritical and stupid when promiscuous men demand to date virgin women and/or women who never had one night stands.

[AhGojira]

If you come on cheap and aggressive it's a turn off... It's fine to approach us, but do it with a little class and dignity. Girls that are fucking their way through the phone book have a certain vibe, a crave for attention, that thirst... Most men don't care if you have fucked other men. It's normal to have a number of relationships and flings in your passed. Just don't be that emotional wreck that's fucking everything because you feel dirty inside.

[Sametheon]

It seriously depends on the amount of promiscuity. If her pussy looks like somebody threw a grenade at deli counter, hell no. But if she's just more expirienced, certainly. Also, why are women even answering? I mean, of course, they'd probably vote the top one to make men think it's weird to date promiscuous women for the sole reason of making them want to not do so, therefore giving them a better shot with men. That's a bit petty, to say in the least.

[kittykatbrat]

Other

My experience:

If men think you are "hot" all their previous judgement won't matter re them dating you BUT the underlying jealousy and anger WILL surface and explode eventually and when it does its NEVER in private.

[mattty]

Most guys are willing to fuck promiscious women as long as she's "hot" but most of them dont want them as long term girlfriend. The ones that do will eventually get jelous and paranoid as you said.

[kittykatbrat]

@mattty
I have had three men leave their wives for me even though I am a serial dater who makes that VERY clear upfront.

[mattty]

Those are men with no integrity and they are pretty much the same as promiscious women who cheat. I would personally never do that. Then again why did you even date married men? You are basically same as them. Likes attract likes.

[kittykatbrat]

@mattty
(smiling) I am single so am not the one who has made a commitment to another person.

[mattty]

doesn't matter. If you're going after someone whos commited then you're no different from the commited person that is cheating. I had married women going after me and I still turned them down because its simply not worth it. But what you're saying basically answers why most guys dot want promiscious women for long term relationships. You just proved that you have no morals and justifices it that "its ok" because you're single. Yes its ok to date other commited men if they have no morals either. As I said likes attract likes. Depends what kind of people you meet. But its your life do whatever the hell you want to do. there's always someone for anybody no matter what he's like.

[kittykatbrat]

@mattty
I never initiate anything, even when I am interested in the person.
I just RESPOND to people.
Obviously you have your own views about morality which are totally different to mine.
Cheers xo

[mattty]

Of course. I will repeat it again likes attract likes. Those man obviously have same views on "morality" as you. Other people may not. You are simply putting up with commited men who are willing to leave their wives for you. doesn't matter if they approach you first. Some people are willing to do that some dont. But just because you meet men that are willing to do that doesn't mean that most guys do. Bottom line. Those men that are willing to leave their wives for you would most likely left you too for someone hotter. While others wouldn't put up with you. It really depends who are you trying to attract.

[FashionQueen86]

@mattty Those wives deserve better anyway.

[mattty]

@FashionQueen86 Yes. While cheaters deserve each other too.

[dudeman]

they just want to fuck a hot girl for a while. they are not committing though.

[mattty]

@dudeman Thats what I said in first reply lol.

[dudeman]

@mattty women dont get it.

[caligirl03]

In my experience, a lot of guys have a double standard in this regard whereby they think it's totally ok fine for them to have been little man hoes, but heaven forbid their girl also have a past of any kind. Smh.

[WhateverMayBeWillBe]

Usually the guys who care have little to no sexual experience and are turned off by it for that reason. Because all my man hoes friends couldn't careless if the girl fucked tons of guys and all my virgin friends (or the ones who have only had sex a handful of times) find it very gross. I understand both sides.

[dudeman]

@WhateverMayBeWillBe all man ho friends only care for serious relationships.

[Anonymous]

I have to agree with your friend. I don't think guys are necessarily looking for virgins but I also don't believe they are looking for someone who has been with more people than they have been with. That number could be 2, 4, 100. As long as it's less, I think they would be fine. That goes back to how insecure men can be

[Truthatanycost]

Whether it is due to insecurity, compatibility, preference, morality or any other reason, it will still end up having the same outcome... a guy not wanting to commit to a promiscuous woman.

[Anonymous]

I would be a little upset if I found out a girl I was interested in was the type to sleep with a bunch of guys. Not that I would hate her for it, but I am interested a committed relationship. If she's willing to sleep with a bunch of guys, just how committed can she be? That being said, I usually don't hear guys talking about how many people their ex/gf slept with, unless it's in a very close-circle group and it's a point as to where they think the relationship went/is going.

[Fathoms77]

If they're being truthful, yes, most guys care.

[gobsmacked3]

last time I looked it was the 21st century meaning women have the right to enjoy sex, and indeed indulge as they please

As long as they are safe within their promiscuity, I have no concern. Most guys who do get salty over it do so b/c of their own insecurities

[Levin]

How is promiscuity a good thing? Same applies to any facet of life. Some degree of measure indicates a healthy psychology. Not saying I object to women having enjoyed themselves though :)

[astroayumi]

I think the guys care if they want to stay with that girl seriously

[singlebee]

Damn right

[FakeName123]

1000 points. We got a winner who understood it.

[iCroissant]

Depends on the guy and the situation.
If a girl is promiscuous = she is looking to pick up a new guy.
This would be appealing to a guy, UNLESS he is already in a relationship with her, or believed he was significant to her. If that's the case he would totally not want you to be, at all!

[anonman32]

we do talk about promiscuous women but only during guys talk. and of course we care, but not in a bad way. i mean, if we want to hook up and be promiscuous ourselves then we would like to know who the promiscuous women were right? other than that i would just care about STD's.

[blondfrog]

I said A, but for me I think some women make it harder to show their promiscuousity if that's even a word lol and others make it obvious they are. Me personally I would be aware of those types of girls cause usually those are the types that cheat, but there are more signs than that when looking at a gal who is promiscuous.

[Karōshi]

Yeah. A girl who spreads them too readily devalues herself massively.

[NJ_Casanova]

Yes, I think most guys don't want a girl that gives the cookie to just anyone. Personally it's a turn off, and I think that she must have emotional/psychological issues. If she doesn't have self respect for herself.. how could I.