Honestly, I think it depends on the couple and I don't think a woman should be forced to change her last name if she doesn't want to... That being said, I've always looked forward to the idea of changing my last name when married and find the idea of keeping my own unappealing.
I told my wife she didn't need to change her last name to mine; I was fine with her keeping her last name and knew that changing names could be a pain in the ass. However, she wanted to change her last name to mine to feel connected to me.
It's up to her, if she want to hyphenate, that fine, if she wants to keep her last name, that's fine. I think what should happen is that we need to do something to the names like put a symbol before or after the last name that shows so. eone is married, like a infinity symbol or something. That way people can keep their last name, and draw the symbol and then you know they are taken.
Or after the last name they could draw that hangman thing like the game hangman, except there is no guessing. It's just about how you feel and how many years you've been married. It starts off like an underscore, then you draw the apparatus, then the rope, then you start drawing the head in the noose, and the face and body.
I dont care, if its the man or the woman, but one of them should take the others name. I think its just weird, when a married couple has different names.
That was always my stance at this topic. I would be quite happy, if my wife would take my name, but if she wouldn't want to, I'd had no problems with taking hers.
My wife legally hyphenated her name with mine, but she uses mine alone in social circumstances. I did hear about one couple that outright changed both of their last names to something different entirely, making their name unique to their marriage. I think that is really cool, and it beats your kids having to choose which hyphenated name they’re going to keep when they get married if you both hyphenate.
My husband doesn’t like his last name. We toyed with the idea of creating a new last name from our maiden names, but ultimately I took his last name because he already had children (with his sur name). We are hoping he can adopt mine in the future.
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Eh. I would not think it was a big thing. I go by a stage name, as I don’t want to be associated with a few members of my family (and for some reason, strangers have trouble with my name, even though it’s not difficult). I teach also, and write, so I don’t always want students finding where I live, etc. That being said, I’d prefer her to use my last name (stage or otherwise).
I love how most men said yes, yet if they were asked to give up their last name, take their wife’s and have their actual last name be referred to as “maiden’s name”, all they’d say is “i’m a man, i won’t have to!”.
Male privilege&ego&a sense op superiority in the western world is still there.
Yet when that western world went bullying other societies where women were already equal - the western woman had no problem with it, supported her man. It's only after he lost that she got all angry and wanted to get equal. See a pattern there?
I belive its more of a choice like weather the wife wants that or not also in some cultures and religion with if can't take her şuanda last name.. However as for me I can't wait to take my husband last name I want to be his in every aspect.
Just for convenience and social identity, yes. Especially if you have or plan on having kids it's nice to have the same last night as a family. It's no big deal if she doesn't though especially with no kids.
1. If she's not into her man enough to take his last name that marriage is dooomed already. 2. Why bother with the marriage? Just give each other the medical power of attorney and such.
If not wanting to take her husband's name means a woman isn't interested, then not wanting to take his wife's last name must mean a man isn't interested. Some women may be anxious to get married, but that doesn't mean they should marry a guy who's not fully committed and interested.
So you're saying women should be desperate enough to marry a partner who is not interested enough to change their name for marriage, but MEN deserve a partner who is fully committed.
@samhradh_leannan I'm not saying who deserves what I'm just stating most men's attitudes to that scenario and what they would do in the exercise of their own free will. I take the world the way it is not how I would like it.
I'd say its optional as sometimes husbands take the wifes name OuO and just swap it with theirs or just add it to their own and as such say. Something along the lines of there honey XD. No need to change your name so quit complaining XD.
Well, after two years with me, my swedish girlfriend still finds it difficult to pronounce my hungarian surname. I think pronouncing properly her future surname would be the hardest thing of her married life. 😂
It's a way of showing that the two are *cough* -United in Marriage-, that's kind of the whole point. If he happens to want to take on her last name fine, but if she keeps her last name and he keeps his then that's just nuts
Now say her and I are dead set on keeping our last name (both our last names hyphenated) I'd just cut the last names in half n call it good enough, because my last name is long. So say it's Mr. Franklin and Ms. Madison, rather than Franklin-Madison, I'd have Frankson or Madilin.
Anyone looking at this from a personal point of view? As in my last name is part of my identity. It's my NAME! Why would I want to change my personal name for any reason? (Except for the rare cases when someone just doesn't like theirs.) I was BORN with it. It FEELS weird being called by an unfamiliar new name.
Marriage is about becoming one, not two separate people who live together. If the man is the spiritual leader of the family, it should be his name, even if it is just tradition
I don't mind taking his name, but I also don't see anything wrong in keeping yours too.. there can always be "-" between the names... it's up to the couple's preferences
The Nordic countries have an excellent tradition. The woman takes the mother's first name and then adds "dottir". And the son takes the father's first name and adds "son/sen". For example, Jorgensen or Helgasdottir. They then keep those names.
It depends on each couple whether the woman should take his last name, or the other way around, or whether they should just both keep their last names.
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Honestly, I think it depends on the couple and I don't think a woman should be forced to change her last name if she doesn't want to...
That being said, I've always looked forward to the idea of changing my last name when married and find the idea of keeping my own unappealing.
It should be her choice.
I told my wife she didn't need to change her last name to mine; I was fine with her keeping her last name and knew that changing names could be a pain in the ass. However, she wanted to change her last name to mine to feel connected to me.
It's up to her, if she want to hyphenate, that fine, if she wants to keep her last name, that's fine. I think what should happen is that we need to do something to the names like put a symbol before or after the last name that shows so. eone is married, like a infinity symbol or something. That way people can keep their last name, and draw the symbol and then you know they are taken.
Or after the last name they could draw that hangman thing like the game hangman, except there is no guessing. It's just about how you feel and how many years you've been married. It starts off like an underscore, then you draw the apparatus, then the rope, then you start drawing the head in the noose, and the face and body.
I dont care, if its the man or the woman, but one of them should take the others name.
I think its just weird, when a married couple has different names.
That was always my stance at this topic. I would be quite happy, if my wife would take my name, but if she wouldn't want to, I'd had no problems with taking hers.
My wife legally hyphenated her name with mine, but she uses mine alone in social circumstances. I did hear about one couple that outright changed both of their last names to something different entirely, making their name unique to their marriage. I think that is really cool, and it beats your kids having to choose which hyphenated name they’re going to keep when they get married if you both hyphenate.
My husband doesn’t like his last name. We toyed with the idea of creating a new last name from our maiden names, but ultimately I took his last name because he already had children (with his sur name). We are hoping he can adopt mine in the future.
Eh. I would not think it was a big thing. I go by a stage name, as I don’t want to be associated with a few members of my family (and for some reason, strangers have trouble with my name, even though it’s not difficult). I teach also, and write, so I don’t always want students finding where I live, etc. That being said, I’d prefer her to use my last name (stage or otherwise).
I love how most men said yes, yet if they were asked to give up their last name, take their wife’s and have their actual last name be referred to as “maiden’s name”, all they’d say is “i’m a man, i won’t have to!”.
Male privilege&ego&a sense op superiority in the western world is still there.
Out well over 100 responses your the only one I've actually downvoted.
Fine by me, we’re all entitled to our own opinion.
I understand why you might’ve downvoted, as soon as someone says “privilege” people cringe instead of opening up the conversation.
by the way, i’m not saying women don’t have privilege or are worse off than men in any way.
Living in the first world means you are born with privledge.
Yet when that western world went bullying other societies where women were already equal - the western woman had no problem with it, supported her man.
It's only after he lost that she got all angry and wanted to get equal.
See a pattern there?
@soleil2666 I've not a clue to what you are trying to say?
The Soviet Union had male female equality ages ago. So did/do all of the communist countries - it's pretty much based on all people being equal.
@soleil2666 and what happened to this Soviet utopia surely it should still be around of it was so great?
Yes, being born in the western world does mean privilege. I’m not doubting that. I’m just saying there’s still male (and female) privilege.
@soleil2666 if you’re referring to communism, that was poorly executed. You should read up on that before saying anything about it.
Gees - I lived in it and you'll tell me to read up on it. Well done, genius brain.
What happened to it is the big greedy west came and sabotaged it.
The fact it got feudalised in execution didn't help it either.
I belive its more of a choice like weather the wife wants that or not also in some cultures and religion with if can't take her şuanda last name.. However as for me I can't wait to take my husband last name I want to be his in every aspect.
Just for convenience and social identity, yes. Especially if you have or plan on having kids it's nice to have the same last night as a family. It's no big deal if she doesn't though especially with no kids.
Nice stems by-the-way.
stems?
Legs. Nice legs, based on your profile pic.
oh duh, thank you!
LOL no worries.
1. If she's not into her man enough to take his last name that marriage is dooomed already.
2. Why bother with the marriage? Just give each other the medical power of attorney and such.
Why is it a sign of disinterest for a woman to want to keep her own name, but not for a man to want to keep his own name?
@samhradh_leannan just one of those kiss of death things. If a woman isn't willing to take his last name he really should not legally wed her.
But why? Should a woman not wed a man if he's not willing to take her last name?
@samhradh_leannan generally speaking it's women who complain about men refusing to get married
I've seen both but yeah, it happens. So?
If not wanting to take her husband's name means a woman isn't interested, then not wanting to take his wife's last name must mean a man isn't interested. Some women may be anxious to get married, but that doesn't mean they should marry a guy who's not fully committed and interested.
@samhradh_leannan which sex generally speaking is the one complaining about men refusing to committ?
So you're saying women should be desperate enough to marry a partner who is not interested enough to change their name for marriage, but MEN deserve a partner who is fully committed.
@samhradh_leannan false equivalency.
@samhradh_leannan and gtfo.
@samhradh_leannan I'm not saying who deserves what I'm just stating most men's attitudes to that scenario and what they would do in the exercise of their own free will. I take the world the way it is not how I would like it.
I'd say its optional as sometimes husbands take the wifes name OuO and just swap it with theirs or just add it to their own and as such say. Something along the lines of there honey XD. No need to change your name so quit complaining XD.
Well, after two years with me, my swedish girlfriend still finds it difficult to pronounce my hungarian surname. I think pronouncing properly her future surname would be the hardest thing of her married life. 😂
It's a way of showing that the two are *cough* -United in Marriage-, that's kind of the whole point. If he happens to want to take on her last name fine, but if she keeps her last name and he keeps his then that's just nuts
by the way, thanks for the invite!
Now say her and I are dead set on keeping our last name (both our last names hyphenated) I'd just cut the last names in half n call it good enough, because my last name is long. So say it's Mr. Franklin and Ms. Madison, rather than Franklin-Madison, I'd have Frankson or Madilin.
Anyone looking at this from a personal point of view? As in my last name is part of my identity. It's my NAME! Why would I want to change my personal name for any reason? (Except for the rare cases when someone just doesn't like theirs.) I was BORN with it. It FEELS weird being called by an unfamiliar new name.
Is that the reason you're around 40 and not married :-)?
@soleil2666 Nice try. But sorry, you missed. Is that the reason why you're so bitter and so single?
And apparently don't have a good IQ.
Marriage is about becoming one, not two separate people who live together. If the man is the spiritual leader of the family, it should be his name, even if it is just tradition
I don't mind taking his name, but I also don't see anything wrong in keeping yours too.. there can always be "-" between the names... it's up to the couple's preferences
Other-she shouldn't have to do anything, it should be a choice. This is one of those things that there is no right or wrong choice.
The Nordic countries have an excellent tradition. The woman takes the mother's first name and then adds "dottir". And the son takes the father's first name and adds "son/sen". For example, Jorgensen or Helgasdottir. They then keep those names.
interesting tradition
It depends on each couple whether the woman should take his last name, or the other way around, or whether they should just both keep their last names.
It just depends on what each person wants.