Testing guys? Clever or childish mind games?

Question

When I like a guy I will always test him. Like I won't call, message him on facebook or text him first. Usually ever. I'll wait for him to do that first. If he cares, he'll obviously do it. I don't really like to make the first move if I don't have to. Any other girls like this? I think it's pretty clever and makes the guy have to chase. Also shows if the guy is willing enough that he will make it work. My friends said this is a stupid idea and will only leave me with the douche bags or really desperate guys. Guys what do you think? Do you like it when a girl tests you and makes you do all of the work? Or does it drive you insane?

IAmAnon123 · Accepted Answer

Definitely childish, not to mention unattractive. When girls do this the situation always ends in one of three ways:

1) The guy interprets the lack of communication as a sign that you're not interested and backs off. 2) The guy realizes that you're deliberately making him chase you, at which point he stops because he's not interested in dumb f***ing games.

3) Instead of backing off after discovering you're making him chase you, he moves in for a quick f*** and either, A: Leaves you immediately, or B: Sustains a massively f***ed up "relationship" with you for no more than a few months before the games and lies upon which your relationship was built collapse under their own weight, usually leaving both parties bitter and pissed off.

Personally, I go the #2 route. If I catch the tiniest whiff of unnecessary girl drama I cease contact immediately.

Handyman7 · Accepted Answer

Most guys aren't going to chase you or make a first move, unless they have good reason to believe that you are interested in them and like them. If you like a guy but he has no clue that you want him to call or message you, he's probably not going to do anything.

But if you flirt with him and basically give him enough hints that you are open to being pursued, then yes he will likely take the bait, if he likes you.

Guys are afraid of being rejected and being called creeps, so you have to flirt with him and somehow let him know that you want him to pursue you.

eatmymochi · Accepted Answer

Your friend is wrong... no guy likes an easy girl. well not just guys even girls... when things are given to you easily you value it less... whatever your doing with guys are very good... a chase is always good... rather in a relationship or dating or just talking to someone... there's more excitement to a relationship when there's a chase. I personally never text a guy or talk to a guy first... only once in a while I text first... rather then that I never make the first move... plus I like when they text me first it makes me feel like they want me. guys are simple, if they want you they will come to you...

kaybakee · Accepted Answer

I think guys should make the first move, but you don't need to blow up his phone. If he contacts you first, he's obviously interested and so talking to him first wouldn't be weird. It would just make things mutual. All good, solid relationships meet half way. One should never give more than the other.

emzy-89 · Accepted Answer

it's just childish to play games in relationships. most of the time you'll find that the guy gets sick of of and just leaves.

Serenadium64 · Answer

well you might end up with a lot douchebags because of their arrogance, their self confidence is usually sky high and they will pursue you more, but more introverted guys will likely just give up on you because they get intimidated a little easier and will just think you don't care about them if you don't at least try to start some sort of conversation with them, and judging by people that I know, sorta introverted people are really cool, kind people once you get to know them and they feel comfortable with you, so you probably wouldn't want to play games like this if the guy you are wanting to get with is a little shy.

kidblue · Answer

stuff like that makes the situation confusin...to me that would make it seem like the girl wasn't interested, didn't want anythin to do with me, or was at least mad at me...also the thing about if "he cares he'll obviously do it"...well it's not always as simple as that...maybe the guy does care but is too shy or nervous to do somethin...or if he does do somethin it might not even mean he necessarily cares...jus some things to think about...o sry if it sounds a little rude or mean, I didn't try to make it sound that way lol

AdamThomas · Answer

I guess it can be a good idea, if a guy is persistant it shows he cares. Just don't over do it. If you ignore him all of the time and he still keeps trying, then he's desperate. If you do it too much to a decent guy who knows he can get other girls who will not play head games with him, you will just lose him (a girl I'm interested in is about to lose me I think, it's really not a good idea to over do it, just makes you seem disrespectful). Yes it does drive me insane if I really like the girl, but if a girl is going to play a lot of head games I won't ever get with her, because it's just unfair and disrespectful to do that to somebody deliberately.

Rated_R · Answer

I don't like it but again I suppose the only reason a girl would do this is to weed out the losers and find someone she wants to be with or she's been hurt really bad in the past and is not looking for history to repeat itself. If you resume to do this testing stuff at least make it more appropriate and mature and less high school nonsense. Thumbs up if you agree.

myspacemybroke · Answer

I think it's stupid and immature when girls act like this. You'll get guys though don't get me wrong. You'll just get the pathetically desperate guys who do anything for any girl, or some d***head who's gonna f*** you over. "If he cares, he'll obviously do it", no if he's a pathetic little creature with no self respect he'll do it. An attitude like yours usually ends up with a very malcontent relationship and a lot of people that dislike you.

jaycon · Answer

your g/f's are right.. the guys worth having won't have the patience to obsess over you since they have options that WILL show interest and the guys you do get are obviously desperate or they REALLY like you.. which last time I checked is a turn off too early in a relationship.. so take your pick.  my girl showed me more interest than I showed her in the beginning and I still fell for her.. a girl that goes after what she wants is sexy.

royevans · Answer

This is a good idea, however, I don't think you should recommend this to people that don't have the same mindset as you. This could end badly, such as the guy not wanting anything to do with a girl who shows no interest or the girl thinking the guy is desperate or something like th at.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it is kind of childish and stuff like this should belong back in highschool. No offence, but that just my 2 cents.

I think it's OK to do it once or twice, but it is unfair to the guy if you keep making him initial the conversation. You might give out the wrong signal that you're not interested. To be safe, it's best to just having it equal work between both partners.

suavaye · Answer

childish mind games; drives me crazy! you should be publicly stoned for your actions!

no but seriously, leave that stuff in HS. if you like someone be up front and honest, if you can't be then how do you expect any guy to be

KERMlT · Answer

I'm a pretty good catch and if some woman does this to me, I'd question what else she might try to pull. Head games aren't funny and I'll simply walk away from the relationship.

GIntrovert · Answer

It doesn't bother me, because I walk away from girls like you.

BigMrZ · Answer

I think it's OK within reason, don't string him along for too long or you'll just make him pissed at the end. and don't claim you want to be "just friends" and then flirt with them. you'll just confuse him

hotrodj · Answer

I like to date a lot and when girls play those games its really annoying. And it also makes me think your not interested. So after a few turn Downs or what ever the case maybe I give up all effort.

pianoman · Answer

Well you'll never get a shy guy because hey are waiting for you to start the convo to see if your interested. This way even if you both like each other you'll never know so my vote is for silly idea

Anonymous · Answer

stupid. I know that she is testing me I just don't know what to do so I end up doing the wrong thing. and lose the girl or I leave her alone and move on. she could be a great girl but the testing drives me nuts. her loss.

JC2001 · Answer

I don't really care, if you do this I'll ignore you and just go for the easy girl that doesn't play hard to get.

Anonymous · Answer

That's stupid. Would you like it if some guy you really like screwed around with your emotions?

Anonymous · Answer

It's natural.  You'll separate the men from the boys

hawtdude · Answer

it won't bother me at all... most probaly I would ask you out.. it seems like a really smart idea to test out if guys really DO like you.

Indian-Gurl · Answer

Hahaha. I do that.! Lol

Testing guys? Clever or childish mind games?

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