
Were you ever spanked as a child?

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Extremely rare occurrence for my parents to spank me growing up, it was only punishment set aside for one specific Type of disobedience to my parents; open defiance. As in, where a child is verbally reprimanded then the child chooses to defy the parent and does what got them into trouble anyway.
In talking to my Mom about it as a teen she told me about a cousin who evidentially was a little hellion. She told me how her cousin then about three or four shad been told and told not to get into his parents car on the street side, yet he continued even when both his mom and dad disciplined him verbally for doing so. Evidentially he ran wide around the back of the car as it was parked on a busy city street right into the path of an oncoming car whose driver had no time to react running him over and killing him instantly.
My Mom remembers how this tore up her whole family for a long time. She remembers the little white casket at the funeral. She and my Dad decided that something so tragic would never happen to one of their children if they could prevent it. They both were/are of the oppinion that the cousin died as the result of a tragic accident, set into motion because of his own defiant action. He had been told multiple times not to do what he did and decided to run around the car anyway right in front of his mother who saw it all happen right before her unbelieving eyes.
My Mom and Dad decided that open defiance was the only valid reason that their kids would receive a spanking. First we would be talked to, making sure we understood what was wrong with the action and why. Then if they determined through that questioning that we understood our actions in defying our parents instructions/rules then and only then was a swat or two delivered. Their instrument of choice was a 70's era 2-1/2 inch wide leather belt that made more noise than it stung!
After my Mom explained why they spanked my brothers and I, it gave me a renewed appreciation for how much my Mom and Dad loved us. It wasn't about instilling dominance in the parent child relationship, it was about instilling obedience, maybe even obedience that could save a child's life.
Being a compliant child I remember only getting a few swats, where I think the worst part of it was that I let my parents down. I know for a fact that the spankings I received were never really hard, never left bruises yet they left an impression on me to not disobey them like that again! Now my brothers, they were both a lot more free spirited and were delt with accordingly!
Now that I'm a parent of two beautiful twin boys, my husband and I will have to decide at some point what our last resort punishment will be. We've talked about it and like the progressive approach where the punishment is fitting to the crime and ramps up depending on the occurrence and level of defiance to the parents instructions and predefined rules. So maybe our two will get a spank when they're old enough to understand right from wrong, maybe they won't.
Never been spanked and never will spank. I think it's lazy parenting.
@Kaytiee yes. And so many people who spank justify it by saying ”well nothing else ever works”. It shouldn’t even have to get to the point where ”nothing else works”. If you don’t let it get out of hand, you should never have to get physical with your kid. I also don’t like how it sets the example of ”use violence to get what you want/to make others obey you”. I’m sorry you were hit, it’s just not ok.
Completely agree. You are 100% correct.
My mother who spanked me (47) has never been a good parent to all 4 of her children, yet my 27 year old young brother Is an amazing parent, he has two children with his wife they're a very happy family. The children are amazingly behaved as a child I picked up everything In the store where as my 5 year old niece and my 3 year old niece didn't even glance at them! They always say their P&Q's. They don't get shouted at or hit, and I couldnt be more happy or proud of my older brother for raising such perfect chilldren in a responsible way... They know when to say sorry and whenever they're being told off they're told why it's wrong, and the impact it has on othrs or themselves so it is more engrained in them like morals. All hitting does is make you feel worthless, teaches you how people who have power abuse the powerless. Sorry I ranted, I just couldnt be more proud of them and I wanted to share It as some are stuck In their ways and believe spanking is the way to go, yet my brother who has had children since 21? has raised two beautifully well behaved little angels without the need or spanking shouting or hitting.
@lumos I see your perspective. However, I fall on the side of using it only in very very select situations. Such as the child puts themselves or others in serious danger or if all other methods of discipline have been unsuccessful.
@Kaytiee I'm happy for your brother, kudos to him!
@asker but if you're consistent and strict with your parenting, why would your child ever put themselves or others in danger in the first place? And why would all other techniques be unsuccessful if you do them correctly and with enough determination? I'm fully aware that some children are more challenging than others because of temperament and personality, but I also 100% believe that if you consistently practice good parenting and don't cave in, it should never have to get to the point where getting physical is "the only way". My dad is a big ol' softie at heart, but he never caved in to me when I was being a brat or trying to push boundaries. He would give me one mean look and it was all I needed to be put in my place, because he had established clear authority over me. If you don't do that as a parent, I'm not surprised at all if you end up feeling like getting physical is eventually the only thing that will work. It's not because you've exhausted all other options. It's because you failed them.
Yes but with a wooden spoon. It was rarely over respect issues and more over academic issues such as if I forgot to being a graded assignment home. I was also slapped or get my face grabbed for every time I tried to stand up to my mother ever time she belittles me and tells me how much she knows that I will be a massive failure in life. There was even a time when I was belted for working too slow on homework or forgetting to take it back to school or occasionally beaten down like for trying a different approach to a project on my own without my partner knowing and without making any changes to the original project. This was all my mother’s doing.
No I would never do this to my children as I would want them to be able to share everything with me and my future wife without regrets. I will never lay a hand on them nor punish them for making mistakes especially anything that severe. A family never gets along if everyone is scared of even one member.
That sounds like it borders on abuse honestly
Sadly it does. Many people I have told of this pretty much said that it was sign of narcissistic abuse.
I would agree with that assessment
Yeah I would get help but I don’t know if I could do it without my mother knowing until I leave her health insurance plan.
Yes I was spanked and I will spank my children. Spanking is never meant to harm anyone, it’s a part of the discipline process to snap the child out of a naughty mindset. Often the threat of getting spanks causes a child to change their attitude. If done too often, sparking loses any effect.
The key is if parents threaten it they need to follow through if behavior doesn't change
Yes, you can’t threaten without following through. Again it’s a rare tool reserved for more extreme forms of a child misbehaving. Removing them from the environment and placing them in timeout is used much more frequently.
I don’t agree with using a paddle or hitting with a switch. Again it’s not supposed to cause lasting pain, the hand to bare butt just shocks the child and gets them out of their naughty frame of mind.
Completely agree
It is only wrong if spanked in anger or because you were inconvenienced .
Opinion
36Opinion
Yes, I got spanked as a young child. Was I ever hurt from said spanking? No. I think PC culture has a bad habit of wanting to consider "spanking" a child the same thing as "beating" a child. "Spanking" is really only useful when you need to get the immediate attention of a young child. Often for their own safety. A 2 year old reaches for a red stove burner. You pull them away and say NO, they cry and get mad. 1 minute later they return to reach for that red hot stove burner. Obviously NO was not enough, But you really need them to understand that is not OK. "Spanking" is not to cause pain. It is simply an unexpected impact that gets a child's attention. Strangely, I recall getting spanked as a young child, but I have no recollection of any pain. In fact, I know that my most common reaction in my memory was to seek a hug from the person who spanked me. I was only ever spank to prevent injury, or if my family member had just told me NO, but I then obviously tested them to see if they were serious. This stopped being effective by time I was 5 years old. Of course by then, I understood simple explanations. At that time, spankings stopped (occasionally threatened as this mythical punishment of yore) and grounding became commonplace. I always hated being grounded, but I understood what is was about. Eventually I was spanked again, but it was in front of my much younger stepsisters. I was basically used as an example of what would happen if you misbehaved for my stepsisters, which was at first so much worse than being grounded, but I eventually figured out I could play it up as something terrible so it would terrify them. Kids are worse than adults.
My mom would spank me with a hairbrush or a wooden spoon as a kid. As a teenager, she’d just straight up swing on me, lmfao.
My dad I don’t think ever touched me. Challenged me to fight as a teenager when I was disrespecting my mom once, but that’s it.
I don’t have kids, none coming, but if I did, I’d probably have some kind of physical discipline. Speaking personally, nothing but the threat of violence can truly keep me honest, I’ve never been the type to take commands from people who aren’t me, which I still stand by at 40. And that little fucker would have my genes and be defiant like me, lmao, I don’t even know how to go about getting the behavior I’d need from them without whupping that ass😂 Don’t get me wrong, I don’t endorse beating kids, I’m talking spanking them hard enough to know you mean it, but not to bruise. My mom had some issues, she shouldn’t have swung at me when I was older, but honestly, I’d punch me for doing half of the shit I did haha. But I’ve witnessed this whole “time out” system in practice, and it’s fucking laughable. Young me would have run roughshod over anyone employing that approach lmfao.
Never. Did get the question why one did it, if I knew what could have happened, the outcome and explained why it might not been a good idea. Bought me to think more about actions.
Did not really have rules. Did not do a lot of bad growing up.
They might say something they would do as punishment, and learned once that they where true to their word after having a fight with my brother in the backseat of the car once.
If we would not stop, they would put us of at the nearest church and we would find our way home.
Did not belive they would be so brutal, so we continued. It became a long walk home.
oh yes, once my dad back slapped me out of a chair. Once my oldest brother threw a pillow at me and I threw it back and he ducked and I broke a lava lamp, and my dad whipped my butt good. My brother caused it and said nothing. When I was very young , I turned the stove on and caught a dish rag on fire. Flames were almost to the ceiling , so I went to tell my dad and he was on the toilet , he never moved so fast in his life. He wanted to kill me and lucky for me my mom came back from where ever she was and would not let him.
I was spanked occasionally as a kid, but I was pretty well-behaved so when I say occasionally I mean like a handful of times. As far as if I’ll spank my own children, I’m undecided. It’s pretty far off into the future for me, so right now I don’t really have to worry about it.
I lean towards spanking only for the most severe of behaviors
That’s probably what I’ll end up doing too, but I’m not married yet and my husband will definitely have a say in it, so I’ll have to wait and discuss it with him.
It definitely needs to be something both parents agree to and when it will be used
you are still a kid
Not of spanking age though. I don’t even live with my parents anymore.
you are through with college? You have a good job?
No of course I’m not through college but I think it would be pretty inappropriate for my parents to be spanking me at this age.
Most 19 years old are still at home though
@Poormanscomedian Sir, it's not all that cool to be coming to this question and appearing to berate a 19 year old with an opinion. Especially as someone who is 50 years old. Your tone is demeaning, please knock it off.
Kiss my ass is my answer to you
@Poormanscomedian A very mature 50 year old I see...
I am what I have to respond to
@Poormanscomedian I'm not going to go back and forth with you. I was very polite and certainly did not call you a name.
No you came off as an idiot
When I raised my little ones, I have smacked hands a few times. But no, never spanked them. And hey. my girls turned out great. My oldest one is raising my grand daughter since she was 15, and my youngest is in prison right now for nearly killing a man. ( She hates men. )
And here I thought you were going to say that spanking your child causes emotional trauama. LOL
Never. My parents made me stand in the corner for 30 minutes, think about what I did wrong and then explain to them why it was wrong. I never experienced any physical violence from my family.
I'm not gonna have kids. If I had to, I would raise them just like my parents raised me.
Yes, by my dad when I did shit I did a lot of mess up shit as a kid for some reason. The one time I remember was when I grab my parent's sugar bowl took and pour it down the couch and my father caught me and spank me for it.
Sure. Sometimes it was a spanking, sometimes I had to sit in a chair in the hallway without moving for an hour. My parents used several methods of discipline, and most of them were effective. It was never gratuitous, they didn't use weapons, and there was always a clear reason for it. I don't plan on having children, so the question of whether I'd be able or willing to hit them is moot. I imagine I would find it very difficult.
Yup, and it taught me nothing about right and wrong, only that the powerful have social approval to abuse the powerless and that the only basis of morality that most people want to consider is fear of power.
Gee, and you wonder why so few people respect government.
Yes. With a belt, hand, or the closest object nearby. Every time I did something "wrong."
Spanking my kids will not be my first disciplinary method. It will be the last one! They really gotta be bad for me to do that.
I find it really strange that people bend their kids over their knees and spank them. No, I was never "spanked". I was slapped around the head/face sometimes. I don't think it's a good thing so I don't do the same to my own kids.
I was brought up by a typical Tiger Mother and Dragon Father.
Spankings weren't part of the culture.
But this definitely was:
It only happened a few times during my childhood. But it would be after many warnings that i wouldn't listen to. My parents regretted too much about doing it afterwards so thats why it was so rare apparently. I wouldn't ever do that to my own kids
I was spanked a few time but my parents would warn me like 3 times before spanking me, I’ll always go things to test their patience and date them! And well I ended up spanked! 😂🤣😂
So you haven't outgrown the testing patience thing? LOL
Just clarifying LOL
Ah gotcha
I was only spanked a few times after those I figured out I didn't want to do what I was doing
Now I can't get spanked because i'm too old lol... well except for certain intimate situations lol
Yeah I tend to have the same problem with the partner thing LMAO
LMAO
LMAO nooooooooo not at all
I was wondering how long it would take lol by the way that was me who just sent the follow request
This is hilarious
Cause we're just messing with each others heads lol
Damn I could have kept the mystery if I didn't send a follow request LOL
Damn LOL
I could be the same person but with a different profile LOL
Why would I do that? It's WAY too much fun for me as i'm sitting here sipping a rum and coke LOL
Wait what? I'm not him but he would drink rum? LMAO
No no no you're not changing the topic
You sure it wasn't a freudient slip? LOL
Because I was spanked as a kid and wanted to ask what other peoples' experiences were
Uh huh i'm sure LOL
Nope I didn't change the topic, I answered the question LOL
If I didn't know better i'd say you were flirting with me, what you got to say about that huh? LOL
Fighting with me in a subtle and flirtatious way LMAO
Yeah cause you know all people are charming when they are fighting with someone... that happens ALLLLLLL the time ROFL
That's a suspiciously long explanation to tell someone your not flirting *looks at you with a funny look* LMAO
You don't have to care what I think, you're still flirting :D
Given up have you? HEHEHEHEHEHE
You just don't want to admit it publicly that's all LOL
:D :D :D :D :D :D
I didn't admit anything! It was a message of emojis laughing cause i'm getting in your head LOL
Aparentemente lo haces porque eres!
Yo diría que estás en Da Nile, pero eso es un río en Egipto lol
No estoy coqueteando, solo estoy siendo muy muy amigable
Si continúo jugando juegos mentales, ¿me dará un buen azote? HEHEHEHE
I messed it up actually, I never claimed to be smart LOL
No I forgot you like to be spanked LOL
I can't give up i'm too stubborn for that LOL
Ah ha so you do like to be spanked though LOL
What's your proposal?
That doesn't even make sense LMAO... so i say you're not flirting for you to admit you are?
You seem awfully defensive for someone who is supposedly not flirting, i'm just saying LOL
Nope you're actions show you are hehehehehe
and the blushing as well
What's your suggestion?
Well first that we settle it in a more private forum LOL
We've been messaging back and forth here for how long? LMAO
No i'm not you know who I am cause you accepted my follow request LOL
I was spanked as a kid - I don't remember the spankings cause I was so young - but I remember talking about them - and that is how I know I was spanked.
Nope, never was hit as a child. If I have children, I will never hit them either. To me, that is abuse and I do not and will not stand for it.
I got spanked once as a kid... Right in the ass with a belt... After that I learned to just not get caught lol
yeah it doesn't teaches you anything special in the long run, just about not getting caught and being sneakier next time
My parents didn't believe in hitting as a punishment as they NEVER wanted my brother and I to think that hitting others was okay
We did not have time out theory when I was growing up.
We had beat your ass theory.
I was spanked very often. Sometimes beaten in the head or chest with an open palm.
Occasionally my brother and I got bruises from when my parents forgot to take off their rings before hitting us.
Usually we’d get these bruises on the face.
l was beaten for 12 years from a step father for no reason l am glad the cunt is now dead l would never lift my hand to a girl or a child there is no need for that
Once. But my parents couldn't bear making their child cry and scream of pain, so they never did it again, and I'm thankful for that, so I will not spank my children either.
Yes a lot and I wasn't even sure if that was a disciplinary action. Then I that's scared of doing anything that time. Doing nothing for how many days and i can't complain.
Yeah I was, and I think it's a lazy way of discipline and I wouldn't raise my kids that way!
Yes I was. I don't think I could do that to my kids.
I was spanked by a middle aged man I use to think was my distant relative but wasn't. I was spanked a bunch of times by a thirty year old neighbor too.
yes lol, my dad spanked me with every possible object but i understand him, i was stupid when i was younger
Yeah with a leather strap till my butt cheeks would bleed. These days it would be child abuse of course.
I was spanked as a kid , but only a couple of times. It's very common here and at one point it was allowed in schools.
Yes, but only once I can remember. Because I was not spanked myself, I would not feel comfortable doing it to my own children.
I was taught this way and the hard way, that might is right.
Yes. My mom used the wooden spoon and my dad used the belt.
I was spanked a lot because of the shit I did 😅 fire and me equaled disaster...
Yes rarely. And I would but I'm not having any kids
Yes but only very few times like 4 times or something and it was for really horrible things I did like throwing my dad's phone from the 9th floor. ..
Yep. I behaved bad or was hard headed then I got spanked.
Nope! My mom beat me to shit! But never spanked me!
Yeah. I'd rather punish my children by taking away what they like from them
Yeah and I will probably will
@Twenty2 The questions says "were" not "are you still getting spanked" lmao
yes... but I'd never do the same to my children
Yes I was and Yes I did and whipped my kids asses.
I have Jamaican old school parents so... yes
My mother used it as a form of discipline.
My mom did. My dad never laid a hand on me.
Lol no its illegal here in my country.
Yes to my brother. 2 years younger than me.
Yes.
Not spanked, beaten
i was!!
Yes of course
Never been spanked.
Not at all.
Yes I was.
Not at all
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