He finally opened up to me, now what do I do?

[Anonymous]

Alex finally opened up to me about what happened and why he's been so weird lately. Right now he's working a lot of 12 hour shifts, because he has to, in addition going to school.

Basically, he doesn't have time or money right now so I don't know if I should wait around for him to make time for me or even ask that of him.

I feel like we're making progress because he finally opened up to me about what's been bothering him, but what's the point in dating someone when you never get to see them? We've been texting but that's not enough.

I'm just really confused and would appreciate any answers. :)

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

I still don't get why you're even considering dating him since it's pretty clear you don't love him. Should just settle for friendship and be a good friend to him. After all, if you really did love/care about him and wanted to be with him in a dating way and relationship you'd accept how busy he is and how little you can see each other and just work through it. I mean, I understand wanting to be around them more, but that can't happen and if you aren't willing to work through those moments, you just aren't meant to be together cause clearly you don't have strong enough feelings for them.

At least, that's my thoughts :P so ya, it's good he's opened up, but it seems you're just not THAT into him so don't even think about dating and just be a good friend there for him when he is around and into talking/whatnot. But that means not doing anything that would be "dating territory" (heavy make out sessions and whatnot).

[Asker]

How could I love someone I've only known a month? And I'm not getting myself too vested emotionally or physically because I always get my hopes up for nothing...

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Eh, I dunno, I can tell if I love someone pretty quick. Now, what KIND of love it is that's harder to tell :P so I give it time and stick with friendship to see if it's love like a family member, love like a friend, or love like a lover. And it just seems you aren't that interested in this guy more than just screwing around and friendship.

Still, if you're purposely keeping yourself from getting too invested, I guess that might be why it comes off that way. Still, stick with friendship for now

[ArtistBboy]

Everyone has this type of "wanting" mindset when it comes to dating.. But sometimes it's not about what you can "get", so much as what you can "give"..

- If you know, undoubtedly, that not seeing him often (or at all) is gonna make you feel any less of a human being; then I think you should move on and find someone that is truly your second half..

The last thing I'd like to point out is that things can change over time if you work on them.. Find what makes him "Desire" to be around you even more; to where if he was broke and worked 23/7 hour shifts that he would spend that whole hour with you.

- Typically, this just comes from being carefree and fun. I love it when my girlfriend can make me laugh or be flirty with me. Reminds me of what it was like to have puppy love.

~ ArtistBBoy

[vmw2008]

I say move on. I've dated some of the busiest guys known to man. I'd often wonder to myself how he even found the time to take me out as often as he did. Their busy schedule was mentioned, but never as a reason for why they couldn't see me, or didn't have time to date me. Take from that what you will, but I think that one guy from "He's Just Not That Into You" is right, if a guy wants to be with you, he will make it happen. No point in trying to fix him and wait around for something that may never come. If he doesn't want to lose you, he'll make it happen. Wanting to spend time with the guy you're dating is not an unreasonable request.

[Anonymous]

i'm dating a guy that's beyond busy. I rarely see him, and it gets tiring but I really lilke him so I stick it out...for now anyways

[Anonymous]

Seems like he's got a lot on his plate right now. You've got to ask yourself if it's worth all the effort. It took him a while to be honest with you. Fact is, if you really want someone, you make an effort and you make them a priority. You don't put them on hold because you've got stuff to deal with. Honesty and effort go a long way. If you're putting in more than him, that's not a wise thing.

[Anonymous]

If you really like him, then you wait for him. He is really busy with work and school. So give him time so when he stop working 12 hour shifts he can spend more time with you. Can you help out on my question? link

[snackeyg]

I think you should move on and just be friends with him. It's not really even dating if you don't even see him.